How do you guys deal with anger

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elitehacker1337

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So my prof decided to give a quiz using ancient clicker on the 2nd day of lecture. Session ID changed 3 times and she gave out the wrong channel number to those who heard her ignorance.

After emailing her and requesting that a point be returned to me, she said that 3 lowest quizzes are dropped.

How the hell is that supposed to make me feel better? By being at a starting disadvantage while putting in more time studying than everyone else in the class?

I was so close to just start swearing up in an email but I opted to keep a passive aggressive tone. In reality, I wanted to put a hole through a wall since I slept 4 hours studying for the damn quiz only to lose points because she wasn't prepared to use clickers.
 
elitehacker1337 said:
How do you guys deal with anger
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I just read and post comics for fun.

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elitehacker1337 said:
So my prof decided to give a quiz using ancient clicker on the 2nd day of lecture. Session ID changed 3 times and she gave out the wrong channel number to those who heard her ignorance.

After emailing her and requesting that a point be returned to me, she said that 3 lowest quizzes are dropped.

How the hell is that supposed to make me feel better? By being at a starting disadvantage while putting in more time studying than everyone else in the class?

I was so close to just start swearing up in an email but I opted to keep a passive aggressive tone. In reality, I wanted to put a hole through a wall since I slept 4 hours studying for the damn quiz only to lose points because she wasn't prepared to use clickers.
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Think of it this way: of the 3 allowances, one was for her and two for you.
 
I actually struggled with an anger problem for a while. Trivial things would set me off, and something like that would have enraged me. Fortunately, I was able to talk to someone about it, and it worked wonders (no meds required!). I'm so much happier now, and little things like that don't bother me anymore. I still feel the anger coming on sometimes, but I'm able to separate myself from it and logically think through what's making me upset and put it in context before my emotions go wild.
 
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You really need to pick your battles, and not burn out about trivial stuff like this. There are many frustrating, unfair things at pretty much every stage of becoming a doctor and if you let yourself get bogged down by all of it, you're setting your self up to be miserable.
 
CyrilFiggis said:
Perspective: Is the level of my anger proportional to what I'm getting angry about. Swearing at an ignorant professor because of one point on an in-class quiz....nah. Not saving 15% by switching to Geico...yes.
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This. I sometimes get angry randomly at small things and I just have to remind myself that it isn't worth it. Labeling the anger as what it is and deciding that it is irrational can at least help me control it. Everything else comes with time
 
elitehacker1337 said:
So my prof decided to give a quiz using ancient clicker on the 2nd day of lecture. Session ID changed 3 times and she gave out the wrong channel number to those who heard her ignorance.

After emailing her and requesting that a point be returned to me, she said that 3 lowest quizzes are dropped.

How the hell is that supposed to make me feel better? By being at a starting disadvantage while putting in more time studying than everyone else in the class?

I was so close to just start swearing up in an email but I opted to keep a passive aggressive tone. In reality, I wanted to put a hole through a wall since I slept 4 hours studying for the damn quiz only to lose points because she wasn't prepared to use clickers.
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Wait till you start trying to learn medical information systems designed in the 1990s and seemingly operated with the stability of a basement server that some 12 year old is running out of his parents' house.

And when I call the IT people to try and fix the dumbest thing (like even logging in properly), what is their response? "Sorry, that's not part of our jurisdiction. You're on your own."

Inefficiency and incompetence are central pillars of American medicine. Start getting used to it.
 
md-2020 said:
Wait till you start trying to learn medical information systems designed in the 1990s and seemingly operated with the stability of a basement server that some 12 year old is running out of his parents' house.

And when I call the IT people to try and fix the dumbest thing (like even logging in properly), what is their response? "Sorry, that's not part of our jurisdiction. You're on your own."
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Or they simply reply "It's known issue".
 
elitehacker1337 said:
So my prof decided to give a quiz using ancient clicker on the 2nd day of lecture. Session ID changed 3 times and she gave out the wrong channel number to those who heard her ignorance.

After emailing her and requesting that a point be returned to me, she said that 3 lowest quizzes are dropped.

How the hell is that supposed to make me feel better? By being at a starting disadvantage while putting in more time studying than everyone else in the class?

I was so close to just start swearing up in an email but I opted to keep a passive aggressive tone. In reality, I wanted to put a hole through a wall since I slept 4 hours studying for the damn quiz only to lose points because she wasn't prepared to use clickers.
Click to expand...

Sounds like several folks suggested not to sweat the small stuff; I agree. Additionally, if in the future you find yourself aggrieved over an issue of some consequence, you might consider speaking directly with the responsible individual while maintaining a cordial demeanor. It is unlikely the other individual actively sought to do you harm, and if you keep that thought in your head when speaking to them, you might find a more receptive response forthcoming.
 
md-2020 said:
Wait till you start trying to learn medical information systems designed in the 1990s and seemingly operated with the stability of a basement server that some 12 year old is running out of his parents' house.

And when I call the IT people to try and fix the dumbest thing (like even logging in properly), what is their response? "Sorry, that's not part of our jurisdiction. You're on your own."

Inefficiency and incompetence ARE LITERALLY EVERYWHERE WHY CAN NO ONE DO THEIR JOB CORRECTLY . Start getting used to it.
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FTFY
 
elitehacker1337 said:
So my prof decided to give a quiz using ancient clicker on the 2nd day of lecture. Session ID changed 3 times and she gave out the wrong channel number to those who heard her ignorance.

After emailing her and requesting that a point be returned to me, she said that 3 lowest quizzes are dropped.

How the hell is that supposed to make me feel better? By being at a starting disadvantage while putting in more time studying than everyone else in the class?

I was so close to just start swearing up in an email but I opted to keep a passive aggressive tone. In reality, I wanted to put a hole through a wall since I slept 4 hours studying for the damn quiz only to lose points because she wasn't prepared to use clickers.
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I doubt clicker quizzes will impact your grade significantly. If the session ID changed 3 times, then you are not the only one at a disadvantage. Please don't assume you're the only one studying "hard" for a quiz. Learn when to fight for your grade. This is not one of those moments. Quite frankly, if your ego is slighted by this minor of an error, I don't know how to advise you on your anger issues.
 
I also used to have an anger issue, and I've learned that the best thing you can do is to remove yourself from the situation. If someone is doing something that annoys you and you feel like you're about to snap, get up and walk away. If you feel like you're going to send a nasty email, close your computer and go do something else.
 
Lannister said:
I also used to have an anger issue, and I've learned that the best thing you can do is to remove yourself from the situation. If someone is doing something that annoys you and you feel like you're about to snap, get up and walk away. If you feel like you're going to send a nasty email, close your computer and go do something else.
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Actually one of the things I was taught was to create space, either physically if possible or mentally. If you can't physically walk away, then do something to create mental space like listen to stand up or a song that gets you happy or even just count to ten and then think out your emotions logically. Once you create that space to stop your emotions from taking hold, it's a lot easier to reason out why you're bothered and decide if it's something worth being upset over.

Injustices are always a huge button for people, but not every perceived injustice needs the bat signal.
 
I go to my gym, they have a punching bag so I unleash my anger on that
 
Knicks17 said:
I go to my gym, they have a punching bag so I unleash my anger on that
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Isn't there some psych experiment involving a bobo doll that showed that taking out your anger physically actually makes things worse?
 
Wait, this is not even an issue. I am expecting that you will be giving a more meaningful example and reason to justify your anger....
Your study will benefit you later even if you lose point in this one, and she also said that three lowest scores will be dropped.
 
I agree, I'll be frustrated as well. But I think it's just gonna get worse from here. The working world will throw tons of sh** At you and it will all depend on how you handle it. You can either blow up or suck it up. Preferably not blow up cause that will give you unhappy colleagues.


Sent from my iPhone using SDN mobile
 
elitehacker1337 said:
So my prof decided to give a quiz using ancient clicker on the 2nd day of lecture. Session ID changed 3 times and she gave out the wrong channel number to those who heard her ignorance.

After emailing her and requesting that a point be returned to me, she said that 3 lowest quizzes are dropped.

How the hell is that supposed to make me feel better? By being at a starting disadvantage while putting in more time studying than everyone else in the class?

I was so close to just start swearing up in an email but I opted to keep a passive aggressive tone. In reality, I wanted to put a hole through a wall since I slept 4 hours studying for the damn quiz only to lose points because she wasn't prepared to use clickers.
Click to expand...

I have found that reading about the (non)problems of other people tends to be soothing.
 
elitehacker1337 said:
I was so close to just start swearing up in an email but I opted to keep a passive aggressive tone. In reality, I wanted to put a hole through a wall since I slept 4 hours studying for the damn quiz only to lose points because she wasn't prepared to use clickers.
Click to expand...

If this is how you feel over something so insignificant, you should probably seek out some form of anger management. It could also be an issue with maturity. I used to get pissed off for no reason too, but that is when I was an angsty teenager.
 
First, you need acceptance. A lot of sucky stuff happens in life. The sooner you accept it and work around it, the better off you'll be.

Secondly, try to change the way you think about things that make you angry. Black and white thinking (this is ONLY bad), over exaggerating (aka castastrophizing or awfulizing), labeling (the teacher sucks), disqualifying the positive (my studying was a waste). These are all cognitive distortions that are making you feel so angry. It helps to write down your thoughts and then rebut them with positive thoughts. Always remember that your feelings stem from your thoughts. Think positive!

Lastly, anger comes from a lack of empathy. Try to empathize with your teacher. Maybe they're new and figuring things out with the new semester, maybe they just made a simple mistake. Maybe they let you drop 3 of the lowest so students wouldn't be harmed by their mistakes. Maybe giving you a point back and not giving everyone else a point would be unfair in their mind. Put yourself in the teacher's shoes and accept that no one is perfect. You won't be as angry.
 
In my college days, I felt I was cheated out of some grades many times but that was all the more reason to cheat them a few times here and there. It evened out and I think it's fair. That's life actually.
 
elitehacker1337 said:
So my prof decided to give a quiz using ancient clicker on the 2nd day of lecture. Session ID changed 3 times and she gave out the wrong channel number to those who heard her ignorance.

After emailing her and requesting that a point be returned to me, she said that 3 lowest quizzes are dropped.

How the hell is that supposed to make me feel better? By being at a starting disadvantage while putting in more time studying than everyone else in the class?

I was so close to just start swearing up in an email but I opted to keep a passive aggressive tone. In reality, I wanted to put a hole through a wall since I slept 4 hours studying for the damn quiz only to lose points because she wasn't prepared to use clickers.
Click to expand...
You need to chill out, it's not a big deal dude. It sounds like you might have anger management issues and need to learn some management strategies to keep from getting yourself in trouble. Is your life over? In the grand scheme of things, does this matter in the slightest? Is anyone going to care next semester, next year, or realistically ever about what happened? The answer is no, nope, not at all, nopity nope, etc.
 
aformerstudent said:
In my college days, I felt I was cheated out of some grades many times but that was all the more reason to cheat them a few times here and there. It evened out and I think it's fair. That's life actually.
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I got screwed over a few times, but I just learned to work harder, so that no matter how hard life screws me it can't screw me enough to matter. Cheating is a slippery slope that can completely **** you over in medical school- get caught once and your career can be literally over, so it's best to not develop such habits early on.
 
Mad Jack said:
I got screwed over a few times, but I just learned to work harder, so that no matter how hard life screws me it can't screw me enough to matter. Cheating is a slippery slope that can completely **** you over in medical school- get caught once and your career can be literally over, so it's best to not develop such habits early on.
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Good for you man.
 
Mad Jack said:
I'm just more saying rethink such things in the future if you're going down the med path, because it's one and done once you're in.
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I don't condone cheating my friend. But at the same time what I was saying is that the world isn't what you might think it is. Countless docs out there cheating their patients for the almighty dollar. Cheating is cheating no matter where it happens.
 
If you're having anger problems w/ this trivial thing... oh boy... can't imagine you dealing with problem patients. While working, I remember seeing doctors almost putting a hole through the wall after meeting several frustrating patients lol.
 
You might be at a disadvantage, but think about it...it's a disadvantage of 1 clicker point (that could potentially be dropped). Just continue doing your thing and studying your butt off for the class, and you'll end up doing well. One point won't impact your grade that much, seriously. Trust me, these things used to annoy me too, but I just pushed through. Life throws us too many poopballs for us to overthink one event. You made the effort to ask abut the point you lost and the teacher made her decision to not give it back. It sucks, but you can't change anything.

In terms of how to deal with anger, I suggest exercising, doing yoga, or just sleeping it off. Sometimes, a nice long nap can work miracles.
 
Was the quiz even worth enough points to lose that much sleep prepping for?
Piglet2020 said:
If you're having anger problems w/ this trivial thing... oh boy... can't imagine you dealing with problem patients. While working, I remember seeing doctors almost putting a hole through the wall after meeting several frustrating patients lol.
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Saw a patient literally put a hole in the wall when he was denied a refill of something. Dude thought he could drive to the ER after being discharged and get more of whatever it was they gave him. No dice, of course. He proceeded to call the head nurse a liar, scream the N-word at one of the residents multiple times (literally everyone in the ward could hear), and then he picked up a hard, clear plastic container and hurled it into a patient room so hard that it became embedded in the drywall. Security tackled him after that.

If OP can't deal with this minor annoyance, he can't deal with patients like that.
 
True, after reading some of the posts, I've came to the conclusion that I must regulate my anger. I usually get angry at small things.
 
Turkishking said:
True, after reading some of the posts, I've came to the conclusion that I must regulate my anger. I usually get angry at small things.
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I used to be that way. I think I pretty much chilled out after the age of 25 or so when my prefrontal cortex was fully ready to go. Now I'm practically The Dude.
giphy.gif
 
Mad Jack said:
I used to be that way. I think I pretty much chilled out after the age of 25 or so when my prefrontal cortex was fully ready to go. Now I'm practically The Dude.
giphy.gif
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Do you think you may have burnt out at 25? I'm guessing you were MS3 or MS4? I take everything in life with intensity and neuroticism and don't foresee it being sustainable when I'm a fully grown adult. Things school related get amplified to extreme.

Other people I know miss quizzes and say "oh well, lowest ones dropped". I would not be able to sleep if I had missed a quiz. I've had nightmares of missing quizzes, lectures or even worse, a due date.

The other day my water bottle (takeya 40oz, very nice) got stolen/lost when I was in the bathroom because I filled it by the fountain and opted not to take it inside. I looked for it for absout 2/3 hours, could not focus on studying, and looked for it at night after my last class. Turned out to be a very bad day which is a bad week now.
 
elitehacker1337 said:
Do you think you may have burnt out at 25? I'm guessing you were MS3 or MS4? I take everything in life with intensity and neuroticism and don't foresee it being sustainable when I'm a fully grown adult. Things school related get amplified to extreme.

Other people I know miss quizzes and say "oh well, lowest ones dropped". I would not be able to sleep if I had missed a quiz. I've had nightmares of missing quizzes, lectures or even worse, a due date.

The other day my water bottle (takeya 40oz, very nice) got stolen/lost when I was in the bathroom because I filled it by the fountain and opted not to take it inside. I looked for it for absout 2/3 hours, could not focus on studying, and looked for it at night after my last class. Turned out to be a very bad day which is a bad week now.
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You never know, I'll be MS1 at 26 or 27, depending on when the school year starts.

Anyway, that story about the water bottle tells me that you should talk to a therapist.
 
Anonimus.Maximus said:
You never know, I'll be MS1 at 26 or 27, depending on when the school year starts.

Anyway, that story about the water bottle tells me that you should talk to a therapist.
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I could and should but it's just my personality. I've always been a very possessive person. Things I use regularly, I grow attached to despite the material value. Even though that bottle was expensive and I'm beating myself up for losing it because my mom got it for me ($25). It's not the bottle, it's the principle and the bottle was irreplaceable. I have a matching color thermos and when I run out of coffee, I switch to the bottle for water.

I think everyone has one reason or another to see a therapist. Take what I say with a grain of salt. On the internet, things may seem more exaggerated which leads to people directing others towards therapy. SDN is especially guilty of this.
 
elitehacker1337 said:
Do you think you may have burnt out at 25? I'm guessing you were MS3 or MS4? I take everything in life with intensity and neuroticism and don't foresee it being sustainable when I'm a fully grown adult. Things school related get amplified to extreme.

Other people I know miss quizzes and say "oh well, lowest ones dropped". I would not be able to sleep if I had missed a quiz. I've had nightmares of missing quizzes, lectures or even worse, a due date.

The other day my water bottle (takeya 40oz, very nice) got stolen/lost when I was in the bathroom because I filled it by the fountain and opted not to take it inside. I looked for it for absout 2/3 hours, could not focus on studying, and looked for it at night after my last class. Turned out to be a very bad day which is a bad week now.
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I didn't even start medical school until 29 lol. But yeah, I used to panic about the stupidest things and take things way too seriously. I lost one of my girlfriend's art pens once and was scanning the hospital for it for hours back in my old job, oh damn was I worried about everything. Now I'll have a laptop break, as mine did a couple weeks ago, shrug, go to the store and just be like (actual words), "my piece of **** broke, give me your newest, shiniest piece of ****." I'm not burned out, I've just realized most things don't matter and caring about them makes you miserable.
 
elitehacker1337 said:
I could and should but it's just my personality. I've always been a very possessive person. Things I use regularly, I grow attached to despite the material value. Even though that bottle was expensive and I'm beating myself up for losing it because my mom got it for me ($25). It's not the bottle, it's the principle and the bottle was irreplaceable. I have a matching color thermos and when I run out of coffee, I switch to the bottle for water.

I think everyone has one reason or another to see a therapist. Take what I say with a grain of salt. On the internet, things may seem more exaggerated which leads to people directing others towards therapy. SDN is especially guilty of this.
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The water bottle incident is concerning, but even more is this:

"I take everything in life with intensity and neuroticism and don't foresee it being sustainable when I'm a fully grown adult. Things school related get amplified to extreme.

Other people I know miss quizzes and say "oh well, lowest ones dropped". I would not be able to sleep if I had missed a quiz. I've had nightmares of missing quizzes, lectures or even worse, a due date."

So yes, you are headed straight for burnout, or worse. Med school is a furnace.
 
Goro said:
The water bottle incident is concerning, but even more is this:

"I take everything in life with intensity and neuroticism and don't foresee it being sustainable when I'm a fully grown adult. Things school related get amplified to extreme.

Other people I know miss quizzes and say "oh well, lowest ones dropped". I would not be able to sleep if I had missed a quiz. I've had nightmares of missing quizzes, lectures or even worse, a due date."

So yes, you are headed straight for burnout, or worse. Med school is a furnace.
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Honestly goro, I know you and others day this a ton but that's precisely what draws me in. I used to be pre-pharm but I started to notice people in pharmacy were not as intense and competitive as pre-meds were. Medicine is the pinnacle and the most elite of healthcare (imo) and since I want to do healthcare 100%, it seems medicine is something I see myself in.

I hope to be in highly demanding career such as medicine.
 
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@Mad Jack I recently broke my brothers toshiba laptop and we both just couldn't stop laughing(like a scary laugh). I was numb and didn't realize the damage I caused until a few minutes after. I felt really bad that I broke it a day or two before classes started but now that I think about it, I start feeling bad again for being a nuisance on him.
 
elitehacker1337 said:
@Mad Jack I recently broke my brothers toshiba laptop and we both just couldn't stop laughing(like a scary laugh). I was numb and didn't realize the damage I caused until a few minutes after. I felt really bad that I broke it a day or two before classes started but now that I think about it, I start feeling bad again for being a nuisance on him.
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It's a Toshiba, it belongs in the trash.
laptop-trash-615cs082312.jpg
 
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