How do you guys deal with nosy people?

[Tennis Guy]

Ok, so how do you guys deal with nosy people whether they be friends, random acquaintances, family members, or friends of family members? I generally try to be vague with them, so they will stop bothering me... they ask me questions like, "When are you graduating?", "Why haven't you graduated yet?", "What's your gpa?", "Have you taken your MCAT yet?", "How's school?", "Have you applied to medical school yet?", "Why?", "Why not?" etc... I feel like telling them to LEAVE ME ALONE, AND IT"S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!!! ... but I know this would be rude and disrespectful, but sometimes (most of the time) it's pretty annoying... what do you guys think? Any advice or comments will be greatly appreciated!

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[rubisco88]

I find it pretty annoying too. I just stopped talking to most people/aquaintances except for people that I'm super close to. I feel like the only people who need to know are my family and my significant other. If aquaintances ask, I just beat around the bush. If they ask on facebook, I pretend like I didn't see it and never reply. It's none of their business to know my MCAT score, GPA, etc. Most people who randomly ask all of a sudden are premeds themselves. I feel like they are just trying to be nosey to see if you failed or not or just ask to make themselves feel better about themselves and.or make you feel like crap.

 

[btown8908]

Well you at least know that they're interested in you! My advice: "it makes me feel uncomfortable to reveal my personal information, but I really appreciate your interest"... something along those lines--probably only good for a formal situation. Or perhaps say "just living the dream partner"...nice and informal.

 

[fas376]

You can't win with those people. Trust me.

My GPA is a 3.7 (pretty average for med school. nothing spectacular, but not bad either). When people ask me about my GPA and I tell them, they assume I'm bragging. Why the hell would you ask me then? And then when I don't tell them, they assume I'm dumb and have a 1.25 GPA. Or my favorite is when you tell people your GPA and they're like "whoa, I don't think that's good enough for Harvard. What are you going to do?" B.itch I never said I wanted to go to harvard! Or, another situation is if you have an incredible GPA (3.9+) and your friends all assume that you'll go to Johns Hopkins or Yale and if you don't, they see you as a failure.

The point I'm trying to make is no matter how smart or dumb you are, there will always be those people that make you feel like a failure, even if it's unintentional.

 

[lobo.solo]

The best strategy is to be vague about your career options. I tend to confuse people about what I wanna do; I give them a general picture but not the specifics. That usually works for me...

 

[Ashley1989]

I agree with the above. I'm extremely vague and say I have so many interests so I will have to see where my path takes me although im very excited for the future and will remember to let them know as things unfold. Then if theyre extremely pushy I start making up random stuff about how I'm moving to South America to study squids and then they will usually get the picture and leave me alone. The trick is to say it very convincingly and they will be too confused and embarrassed by it to question you further. The thing with overly pushy people is that they already know your weaknesses and feign ignorance and ask you specific and pointed questions to make you feel bad and them feel better such as "what's your GPA" if your GPA is low, or "why haven't you graduated yet" if you're older. Just mess with them, who cares anyways. Or you can always go with the blatantly ignoring option. They ask, you pause and then ignore and ask them a completely unrelated question.

 

[areserine]

I've found that a simple "Good. Really good." Or some variation on the above tends to work really well. First, you answer the question, then you technically give more details without saying anything else. Since you've already elaborated, most people won't ask you any more questions. The only really logical response for them to give is a "good" right back. It's a wonderful conversation stopper.

 

[Ismet]

You should tell them that asking for MCAT score/GPA is the equivalent of asking a woman what she weighs. I was pestered by some of the underclassmen in my pre-med organization after taking the MCAT, and after I explained why it was a personal thing, they stopped asking.

 

[alexrgross]

I do not have a lot of nosy people disturbing me. Though when my peers ask me questions, I answer. Maybe you can try to appear a bit more boring or blend in or something?

 

[alerk323]

haha I read this as "noisy people" and couldn't understand what anyone was talking about.

OP unless these people are truly being inappropriate (harassing you about every little detail) I'd try to lighten up a bit and just have a conversation with them. If you're worried about judgement or whatever, who cares? they're opinion doesn't shape you in any way if you don't let it. Like others have said, it shows that they are interested in you, which is always nice. Ive had many good conversations with people that started with "what are you doing with this whole medical school thing" and ended up with them pretty curious about the process and all that fun stuff.

Anyway, people appreciate genuine honesty and will usually like you more for it. emphasizing where you've struggled is endearing also and will gain you many more friends than only emphasizing your successes.

Also, if you truly truly don't like talking about all your own stuff, turn it around on them. Most people love talking about themselves to a captive audience. Show interest in what they're doing and you won't be able to stop them from talking.

 

[NightGod]

/shrug the questions never bother me, but one option would be to launch into a monologue filled with excruciating detail just to discourage them from asking you again.

 

[BA11]

It doesn't bother me. A long time ago I accepted the fact that applying and getting accepted to medical school would be a long process filled with repetative questions, baseless advice and generally a bunch of conversations I would rather not have over and over.

A lot of people ask about it, but most have good intentions and don't realize that EVERYONE ELSE is asking the same questions. I don't hold it against them, because if I were in their shoes I'd be interested and want to know as well.

 

[tenndoc]

a swift roundhouse kick to the face does wonders

 

[circulus vitios]

Feed them misinformation for your personal amusement.

 

[Neurosis]

I just tell them what they want to know most of the time; in actuality I tell very few people I'm pursuing med school, and I avoid at all cost labeling myself as "pre-med" in r/l.

 

[Neurosis]

a swift roundhouse kick to the face does wonders

[YOUTUBE]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DlicnIfzhcM[/YOUTUBE]

 

[flatearth22]

Feed them misinformation for your personal amusement.

This. I falsely told a nosy family friend (after she kept on asking) that I got accepted with a 26 on the MCAT. She was kinda mad because her daughter didn't get in this cycle with a 30

 

[Tennis Guy]

Ok, I'm glad to hear that I'm not the only one that gets annoyed with nosy people! Thank you all for giving the advice on how to deal with them! Lol...

 

[1289]

Idk if this falls under "nosy" but I'm so tired of ppl who know NOTHING about this process trying to tell me what I should be doing/ where I should apply. Blah blah.

 

[SpecterGT260]

OP why are you me? How is this any of your business?

 

[SpecterGT260]

Idk if this falls under "nosy" but I'm so tired of ppl who know NOTHING about this process trying to tell me what I should be doing/ where I should apply. Blah blah.

or how about telling you what type of doctor you should be.

 

[1289]

or how about telling you what type of doctor you should be.

lol I'm going to be reapplying this cycle and a friend told me I should only apply to the schools I got interviews at last year. um yeah that's a GREAT idea. mind yo own biznass

 

[RedSox10]

lol I'm going to be reapplying this cycle and a friend told me I should only apply to the schools I got interviews at last year. um yeah that's a GREAT idea. mind yo own biznass

that's hilarious. tell your friend he/she made my day.

 

[idontcaureuknow]

lol I'm going to be reapplying this cycle and a friend told me I should only apply to the schools I got interviews at last year. um yeah that's a GREAT idea. mind yo own biznass

Priceless.

Usually I don't care. I try to live my life very openly, ask me about myself, sure I'll tell you what you want to know. What sucks is trying to gauge the person asking because they are either: A) doing worse than you and think any discontent you show with your status is arrogant or B) feel they are better than you and think if you act happy that you are an idiot. For the most part, if someone thinks B IDC at all. I usually worried about A much more, mainly because in college I perfected the ability for everyone to think I'm the idiot while doing quite well for myself.

 

[Guero]

. . . Then if theyre extremely pushy I start making up random stuff about how I'm moving to South America to study squids and then they will usually get the picture and leave me alone. . . .

Nice!

a swift roundhouse kick to the face does wonders

This. He knows what he's talking about; trust me.

j/k But really, depending on who's asking, I find the comical squid-like retorts are the most fun and effective, whereas the polite but dismissive replies work best in formal situations (e.g., like btown8908's "just living the dream partner" reply).

 

[235788]

Ok, so how do you guys deal with nosy people whether they be friends, random acquaintances, family members, or friends of family members? I generally try to be vague with them, so they will stop bothering me... they ask me questions like, "When are you graduating?", "Why haven't you graduated yet?", "What's your gpa?", "Have you taken your MCAT yet?", "How's school?", "Have you applied to medical school yet?", "Why?", "Why not?" etc... I feel like telling them to LEAVE ME ALONE, AND IT"S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!!! ... but I know this would be rude and disrespectful, but sometimes (most of the time) it's pretty annoying... what do you guys think? Any advice or comments will be greatly appreciated!

From your past threads, I'd imagine right now you are in a horrible place with this... (Graduating soon, <3.0 gpa)... So I'd go into isolation mode and defriend all of them on facebook or avoid contacting them. I got all that nonsense from family for taking a gap year... So I can only imagine what you're getting.

 

[tantacles]

How I actually deal with overly nosy people:

How I want to deal with them:

 

[tenndoc]

In all seriousness, I usually just humor them and give them what they want. They care. Why else would they be asking. With regards to nosy premeds, I def feed them false numbers though. Makes me laugh

 

[NightGod]

In all seriousness, I usually just humor them and give them what they want. They care. Why else would they be asking. With regards to nosy premeds, I def feed them false numbers though. Makes me laugh

I guess I've been really lucky so far-all of the pre-meds I've encountered have been extremely helpful and genuinely interested in seeing each other succeed.

 

[GeorgiadisMD]

You guys who don't like to entertain these people who want to know about you are WAY TO UPTIGHT! Seriously. Sometimes people want to know more about you. I can see that you would be a little ashamed if you have a really low GPA but for everyone who doesn't feel bad, why are you holding back? Its people like you that no one will ever trust because you can't trust them. No one will make a fool out of you. Sheesh quit acting like you are better than everyone else. I just get the feeling that no one wants to say their stats because they do feel like they are beter than you. Its not personal information like your social.

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[Ashley1989]

I am going to settle this once and for all:
We are all at least half intelligent and can tell if someone has genuine concern and is simply curious versus someone who just loves watching your pain and is being malicious.
Just let your crap detector lead the way, and be nice or not so nice as necessary.

 

[GeorgiadisMD]

You should tell them that asking for MCAT score/GPA is the equivalent of asking a woman what she weighs. I was pestered by some of the underclassmen in my pre-med organization after taking the MCAT, and after I explained why it was a personal thing, they stopped asking.

Yea so thats why you have your MCAT score posted on your MDapps.... seriously you shouldve just told them. Who cares? People are just curious. Disown everyone if you dont want anybody knowing about your life. They are underclassmen anyways! They are not even close to taking the MCAT where it would constitute that they were trying to make you feel bad about your score. You are just being ridiculous. Its people like you who make me angry with your snobby attitudes.

 

[Tennis Guy]

From your past threads, I'd imagine right now you are in a horrible place with this... (Graduating soon, <3.0 gpa)... So I'd go into isolation mode and defriend all of them on facebook or avoid contacting them. I got all that nonsense from family for taking a gap year... So I can only imagine what you're getting.

Yea, somewhat... I'm getting myself back on track though. I'm going to work hard (like I always do). However, I don't think I'll need to do all of that... I can figure out how to deal with them lol. Yea, it is always annoying when someone pesters you by being so nosy, whether it be family or anyone else.

I think this might qualify as being nosy.

Seriously though, Holy FranZ is giving good advice. You need to remove negative influences that will be of further detriment to your future performance. Once you restore your confidence you will have already won half the battle.

Lol... Yes, I know... I've already started to do that. This will cause me to not be distracted or hinder my performance any further and get my confidence back!

I am going to settle this once and for all:
We are all at least half intelligent and can tell if someone has genuine concern and is simply curious versus someone who just loves watching your pain and is being malicious.
Just let your crap detector lead the way, and be nice or not so nice as necessary.

Yes, I know that is definitely the case! So, I try to deal with those people just like you have stated! It seems that I'm around a lot of ***holes that want to put me down and enjoy seeing me suffer unfortunately...

Here's an idea. Print out business cards with your name ("Tennis Guy, Future M.D.") and your MD Apps profile number on them. That way you don't have to recite your application on the spot and nosy people get the information they're looking for. Plus, they can keep checking in and witness your glorious victory when you're finally accepted to medical school. Everybody wins.

That sounds like a great idea...

 

[Dan1804]

I found that answering these questions over and over again was actually good practice for the PS and interviewing.

 

[xXIDaShizIXx]

In all honesty walk up to them and tell them how it is. Generally that will shut them up.

 

[sworzeh]

Sometimes I ask people who I don't know well, but I respect, what their GPA/MCAT is. It's not because I want to see they're struggling or anything; I'm just curious how well people are doing who I admire.

 

[Ashley1989]

Sometimes I ask people who I don't know well, but I respect, what their GPA/MCAT is. It's not because I want to see they're struggling or anything; I'm just curious how well people are doing who I admire.

I'm sure people can sense that genuineness about you but also, if they avoided the question would you keep pushing it?

 

[Narmerguy]

It doesn't bother me. A long time ago I accepted the fact that applying and getting accepted to medical school would be a long process filled with repetative questions, baseless advice and generally a bunch of conversations I would rather not have over and over.

A lot of people ask about it, but most have good intentions and don't realize that EVERYONE ELSE is asking the same questions. I don't hold it against them, because if I were in their shoes I'd be interested and want to know as well.

I'm with this. People often want to know how you're doing, and are curious. It's hard to know when everyone else is asking the same stuff. I generally develop certain mechanisms/answers that can guide the conversation in a direction that I want, away from the type of stuff that gets irritating or that can last forever.

 

[sworzeh]

I'm sure people can sense that genuineness about you but also, if they avoided the question would you keep pushing it?

Nah, cause I don't know them that well. If I keep pushing I come off as a stalker.

 

[dbeast]

OP, just wait until you actually start med school, it only gets worse. People are constantly asking questions along those lines ("where are you going right now?" "why are you wearing your coat today?" "do you have any research projects yet?") although the circumstances are a little different- people aren't really nosy as much as they're paranoid of missing something important.

It all comes from good intentions, so while it did annoy me for a little while, I got over it within the first month or so of school. I suggest you try and do the same or else you'll be that sour faced kid who won't talk to anybody.

 

[ur2l8]

Wow, I am very surprised by these responses. The only people that ask me questions like these are maybe my older brothers (a lot older and concerned for my welfare) and occasionally my parents. Maybe my PCP, haha. Definitely none of my colleagues.

Maybe it's your friend circles? I don't know...don't even have a Facebook