How Rude!

[browniegirl86]

^

The OP is most likely a knee-jerk feminist, who fails to realize that there are alot of people (including young people) who think men should be docs and women nurses. Just because people don't agree with her doesn't give her the right to criticize them.

I'm sure she does realize that lots of people think that way; any woman going into medicine has to know that. And getting a little offended when someone automatically assumes that because you're female you MUST be a nurse might be overly sensitive, but it's not knee-jerk feminism.

It's just garden-variety feminism

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[Dr. Pepper]

I once called a fat woman pregnant.

*Puts on flame suit.

Bring it on,
-Dr. P.

 

[butmylipshurtrealbad]

This thread is weird. I would be the last person in the world to call myself a feminist, but I would be lying if I said people blatantly assuming I want to be a nurse and not a physician wouldn't irk me enough to complain about it a little on SDN. Whatever ... I've called a fat woman pregnant too I felt bad

 

[QofQuimica]

Point well taken, but is it possible that she did understand that you were a doctor, but simply wanted someone of the same gender to help her with her bedpan? I mean, my grandmother would rather wet the sheets than have a male help her with anything like that. Just a thought.

That was my first thought, too. It's a pretty common sentiment even among younger people, and not just among women. When I was shadowing a male doctor, there were a few times when male patients asked for me to leave the room because they wanted to discuss things like STDs or ED, and they didn't feel comfortable doing it with a young woman in the room. And I'm sure that I'm not alone in preferring to see a female nurse practictioner or PA for my annual well-woman's exam, even if a male gynecologist is also available.

OP, I agree with the general advice that you shouldn't let the comments of strangers get to you. I know that this is easier said than done sometimes, because your dream of being a doctor is so important to you, and it felt like that old man was invalidating you. But you have to understand that not everyone views doctors and nurses the way that you do. There are a lot of people out there who don't like doctors and don't trust them. It's possible that the old man was stereotyping you based on your sex, and it's also possible that he thought you were being so kind to him that you couldn't possibly be training to become one of those aloof doctors that he feels never have the time of day for him.

When I was in college, I had a physics professor who was an old-school European man that didn't seem to like women in science. We kind of had a blow-up during my freshman year. When I came back from summer break to start my second year, I ran into him in the division office, and he asked me if I was married yet. Of course, I was greatly pissed that he was saying that to me just because I was a girl, and I retorted with, "No, and I'm not pregnant yet, either!" The secretary, who was also female, started laughing, and he was embarrassed and muttered something about that being a good thing. I felt very proud of the way that I handled the situation, until a few weeks later when I found out that another girl at my school who had the same name as I did *had* gotten married. That is when I realized that the prof wasn't trying to stereotype me; he had merely confused me with the other girl.

Moral of the story: Stereotyping is unfair in general, and it goes both ways. We rarely have enough information to thoroughly understand the motives behind the comments of strangers or acquaintances. I hope you can see that it's not any more fair for you to stereotype him based on his comment than it was for him to have stereotyped you based on your sex, assuming that he in fact did.

 

[Keg]

Yesterday, I was watching Scrubs with my sister (who is 20), and although she wants to go into nursing, she couldn't comprehend that Eliot Reid was a doctor and not a nurse on the show... the stereotypes are powerful and far-reaching, even in the modern day...

"A boy was admitted to the ER after a horrific traffic accident with his father at his side, but upon entry, the doctor on call stopped and said 'I can't work on this patient... he's my son!" How is this possible?"

 

[AWhitehair]

Point well taken, but is it possible that she did understand that you were a doctor, but simply wanted someone of the same gender to help her with her bedpan? I mean, my grandmother would rather wet the sheets than have a male help her with anything like that. Just a thought.

This is exactly what I was thinking after I read this.

 

[browniegirl86]

Yesterday, I was watching Scrubs with my sister (who is 20), and although she wants to go into nursing, she couldn't comprehend that Eliot Reid was a doctor and not a nurse on the show... the stereotypes are powerful and far-reaching, even in the modern day...

"A boy was admitted to the ER after a horrific traffic accident with his father at his side, but upon entry, the doctor on call stopped and said 'I can't work on this patient... he's my son!" How is this possible?"

Oh oh oh I know this one!

 

[Rafa]

"A boy was admitted to the ER after a horrific traffic accident with his father at his side, but upon entry, the doctor on call stopped and said 'I can't work on this patient... he's my son!" How is this possible?"

This "riddle" was on sitcoms *thirty* years ago. You'd think we'd have a more interesting example by now.

 

[ltrain]

interesting thread.

my take is that you just gotta roll with it. can't take the stereotypes personally. for example, my grandparents tell me all the time how proud they are that i got an engineering degree and i'm applying to med school. they're so proud. when i was visiting, i offered to help my grandpa mow the lawn (he's getting old and having trouble doing lots of things). the response? "oh, i don't think you know how to use the tractor." yep. turns out i was better suited for helping my grandma make dinner...

 

[Wackie]

I just don't have the energy to "get my knickers in a knot" about this stuff.

*clap, clap*


So the guy's mistaken. Big deal. Just wait until a patient starts calling you four letter words.

 

[juiceman311]

If that really offended you that much, you're not going to enjoy much of your life, sugar.

 

[AWhitehair]

interesting thread.

my take is that you just gotta roll with it. can't take the stereotypes personally. for example, my grandparents tell me all the time how proud they are that i got an engineering degree and i'm applying to med school. they're so proud. when i was visiting, i offered to help my grandpa mow the lawn (he's getting old and having trouble doing lots of things). the response? "oh, i don't think you know how to use the tractor." yep. turns out i was better suited for helping my grandma make dinner...

 

[varunner]

1. He's old. It's just how he is.
2. You should have responded back with something like "Hell no... I'm trying to become a trophy wife."

Well said

 

[1Path]

the patient said to me, "Honey, can you put me on the bedpan before you leave?" I happily obliged and placed her on the bedpan, after which, I alerted the nurse and kept on with my rounds. It took all of 45 seconds and gave the intern time to write the orders that I had given.

Great post!!

One day we're ALL going to need help getting onto a bed pan if we live long enough. I'd be happy to have someone, ANYONE help me get to mine!

 

[jackieMD2007]

If that really offended you that much, you're not going to enjoy much of your life, sugar.

Gotta love the condescending tone, only enhanced by the pet names. I'm not picking on you, per se, Juiceman, but you make a fabulous example.

Why is it that men think its okay to call young women things like, "Honey", "Hun", "Sweetie", "Sugar", etc!?!? I understand that these are terms of endearment, but at WORK? Are you kidding me? I just believe that every "Honey" deserves a "Pumpkin" or a "Snookums", so I just give it right back.

 

[obake_at_night]

Gotta love the condescending tone, only enhanced by the pet names. I'm not picking on you, per se, Juiceman, but you make a fabulous example.


Why is it that men think its okay to call young women things like, "Honey", "Hun", "Sweetie", "Sugar", etc!?!? I understand that these are terms of endearment, but at WORK? Are you kidding me? I just believe that every "Honey" deserves a "Pumpkin" or a "Snookums", so I just give it right back.

Yes at work terms like this would be considered sexual harrassment. Now we can't even call people by their nicknames without it being considered sexual harrassment.

 

[Johannen]

Gotta love the condescending tone, only enhanced by the pet names. I'm not picking on you, per se, Juiceman, but you make a fabulous example.

Why is it that men think its okay to call young women things like, "Honey", "Hun", "Sweetie", "Sugar", etc!?!? I understand that these are terms of endearment, but at WORK? Are you kidding me? I just believe that every "Honey" deserves a "Pumpkin" or a "Snookums", so I just give it right back.

Ha. That's awesome. +1 respect point for Jackie!

I admit that I'm guilty of this quite often as well. I work at a fitness club's desk full time, and I know approximately 33% of the club's 1000 members. Still, we pride ourselves on our excellent service, and I do my best to make it as personal as possible. Therefore, everyone I don't know becomes "buddy" or some other such term upon entering and leaving. If someone sent one of those to me, I'd be impressed. =)

 

[MED_04]

last i heard guys didn't get pregnant?

 

[Dr Durden]

Ha. That's awesome. +1 respect point for Jackie!

Ha, there's no longer any need to suck up to Jackie. First, your rookie mistake has long since been forgiven and forgotten. Second, she already has a cabana boy named Danjo; there's little use in the rest of us applying for the position. But seriously, way to integrate yourself in SDN.

Back to the topic at hand however....

 

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[Mr. McDuck]

The guys and girls where I work call each other "honey", "love" and "baby" all the time. No one cares.

Edit: I guess you could make it sound condescending. I didn't really think of that, since I'm so used to it being just friendly banter.

 

[lizt]

I was shadowing a surgeon with this other guy a few weeks ago and one of the patients (old man) asked the guy if he wanted to be a surgeon but then assumed i wanted to be a nurse without asking!

Some men need to stop it and watch Tomb Raider once in awhile. Just venting.

ive shadowed an ob-gyn, i volunteer as an emt and in a rehab center, and in all three places, everyone assumes i want to be a nurse. people dont mean to be insulting, they are just trying to make conversation with you.

 

[dopaminesurge]

There are so pretty long responses here.

Tigress - that's annoying and I'm annoyed when it happens too.

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