How to approach this

[R Sterling]

I am interested in applying to Neurology this year, but I have one issue in the way. I did a rotation in neurology during medical school, but my attending was far from nice. I don't think he like anyone, including the residents. I know I would need an LOR from him, but I am afraid to approach him for one out of fear he will write a terrible letter or refuse to do it at all. Any suggestions?

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[PhakeDoc]

Well, the one way to handle this sort of thing is to approach it from the perspective of "sir/madam, would you be kind enough to write a positive letter of recommendation that would reflect on xyz which I did during the rotation and would support my desire to do a neuro residency." That way, you phrase it in a way that you are asking them to write a FAVORABLE letter, and that if they agree to do it, then [hopefully] what they write will be positive. If they say no, then you thank your lucky stars that you just didn't hand them the LOR form blindly. Also, be sure to give them a copy of your CV and in this case, your personal statement which should serve to just hammer in further your desire to do neuro. Also, you kill more flies with honey than with vinegar. Ask them about "their" story and how they went through the selection process, etc., to make them somewhat nostalgic. Remember, most people's favorite topic is....themselves. You just have to make sure you don't come across as a kiss-ass in the process.

 

[typhoonegator]

I'm fairly certain that my medical students fear me. It's not intentional; I just like to pimp a lot for teaching on rounds and I always start with the students. I also tend to be pretty serious on service. Also, my service is a place where people have frontal lobes herniating through their noses, so the intimidation level is already kinda high.

My point is, although I may appear frightening, I would never submarine you with a bad LOR, and if I thought you really sucked, I would politely decline the request to write one (has never happened).

Maybe this dude is just a little hard to get to know, or ascerbic, or whatever...or maybe he really is a jerk. Either way, it takes a real sociopath to sandbag you with a bad LOR just because he doesn't like the way you tie your shoes. Ask him if, given the time he has spent with you, he feels comfortable enough with you to write a supportive letter. He's not going to lie to your face. If you really, really don't want to ask him, then you're going to need to try to resurrect your neuro experience with some time spent with a different attending(s).