How to Ask Better Questions

[Force Healer]

This past week I traveled to meet with a faculty member from a medical school I am very interested in attending. I was hoping to do some light networking with him to lay the groundwork for an ongoing professional relationship. He's fairly known and I was really nervous and a little quiet, and I guess it came off that way because he recommended that I learn to ask more pointed, specific questions because that is a sign of intelligence. He said that I should practice by asking random people such as baristas, people on the street, etc. to build my confidence. My question is, how have you guys learned what questions to ask to get to know people, especially doctors? Are there any books on the art of asking questions? Sorry if this is confusing, and thanks a bunch!

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[AttemptingScholar]

Interesting that he brought that up...

This question is a little confusing, though. Are you trying to figure out how to ask specific questions or how to be better at small talk? Those are related but different skills.

For Specific Questions:
1. I practiced this skill in math class. Instead of "I don't get it" I taught myself how to ask "Where did the cosine come from in step three?" Figuring out what you want to ask is, by itself, a large part of the process.
2. When you want to ask a question, consider already a follow-up you could ask. Would that follow up be a better, more specific question?
3. Ask questions that require short answers. Yes-or-no and either-or questions require you to think about phrasing, and they can always elaborate or qualify their answer.

For Getting To Know People
1. Practice body language. What you feel yourself doing may not look obvious on someone else. How would a book describe what they're doing (crossing arms in annoyance, fidgeting to show impatience, etc.)
2. Asking about someone else is not an opportunity to talk about yourself, especially with a potential mentor. "Why did you choose this specialty? What resources and experiences did you use?" is not the same thing as "[Five minutes talking about your meager patient contact as a pre-med] so I really feel like I understand what I'm getting into and I really value [two minutes of generalized 'values' that everyone has] so what do you think I should specialize in?"
3. In that vein, act like your goal is to talk as little as possible while getting them to talk as much as possible.

Hope any of this helps!

 

[Goro]

This past week I traveled to meet with a faculty member from a medical school I am very interested in attending. I was hoping to do some light networking with him to lay the groundwork for an ongoing professional relationship. He's fairly known and I was really nervous and a little quiet, and I guess it came off that way because he recommended that I learn to ask more pointed, specific questions because that is a sign of intelligence. He said that I should practice by asking random people such as baristas, people on the street, etc. to build my confidence. My question is, how have you guys learned what questions to ask to get to know people, especially doctors? Are there any books on the art of asking questions? Sorry if this is confusing, and thanks a bunch!

Get a job, any job, that has customer contact.

 

[863168]

@Miss Anatomist The faculty member implied that you are lacking a certain intelligence, but typing it out blatantly is against the SDN TOS. To put it more bluntly without being blatant, he's recommending that you socialize more with other people in order to increase your intelligence in this area of study.

 

[cossackdoc]

Interesting that he brought that up...

This question is a little confusing, though. Are you trying to figure out how to ask specific questions or how to be better at small talk? Those are related but different skills.

For Specific Questions:
1. I practiced this skill in math class. Instead of "I don't get it" I taught myself how to ask "Where did the cosine come from in step three?" Figuring out what you want to ask is, by itself, a large part of the process.
2. When you want to ask a question, consider already a follow-up you could ask. Would that follow up be a better, more specific question?
3. Ask questions that require short answers. Yes-or-no and either-or questions require you to think about phrasing, and they can always elaborate or qualify their answer.

For Getting To Know People
1. Practice body language. What you feel yourself doing may not look obvious on someone else. How would a book describe what they're doing (crossing arms in annoyance, fidgeting to show impatience, etc.)
2. Asking about someone else is not an opportunity to talk about yourself, especially with a potential mentor. "Why did you choose this specialty? What resources and experiences did you use?" is not the same thing as "[Five minutes talking about your meager patient contact as a pre-med] so I really feel like I understand what I'm getting into and I really value [two minutes of generalized 'values' that everyone has] so what do you think I should specialize in?"
3. In that vein, act like your goal is to talk as little as possible while getting them to talk as much as possible.

Hope any of this helps!

This answer is very well stated, and captures the essence of communication skills. The only addition I would add is practice these suggestions in a variety of settings until it starts to become more natural for you.

 

[CloverBale]

Become a barista, it's all about customer service!

 

[Force Healer]

Thanks for everyone's responses! I think a big obstacle in my way is that I tend to be more of an introverted person (I know talking is a big part of many medical specialties) so I'm definitely gonna use your guys's tips for getting out of my shell and hopefully I'll come off as more confident and intelligent!