nysegop

Removed
Apr 15, 2012
1,724
7
Somewhere Cold...
Status
Pre-Medical
This is a fairly unconventional thread for a premed forum, but what are some ways to become more outgoing and less shy?

I've always been fairly reclusive. While friends are at movies and parties I'm usually reading or at home. I'm pretty shy, especially with other guys. I'm not gay. I just find it much easier to talk to girls. I'm not very popular and I don't need to be. I have maybe 15 good friends.

My main concern is when it comes to college, talking to professors, asking for recommendations, interviews, and such.

What are some tips or ways I could slowly become more outgoing, less reclusive, and less shy?
 

Arijos0222

"The Opportune Moment"
Oct 21, 2012
651
13
This is a fairly unconventional thread for a premed forum, but what are some ways to become more outgoing and less shy?

I've always been fairly reclusive. While friends are at movies and parties I'm usually reading or at home. I'm pretty shy, especially with other guys. I'm not gay. I just find it much easier to talk to girls. I'm not very popular and I don't need to be. I have maybe 15 good friends.

My main concern is when it comes to college, talking to professors, asking for recommendations, interviews, and such.

What are some tips or ways I could slowly become more outgoing, less reclusive, and less shy?
Nysegop,

I am similar. I talk to more girls more. I feel that girls are more mature and you can relate to them easier. I'm not very popular either. I don't mind, less drama.

I don't dance at parties, and i'm scared to ask someone to prom because I can't dance and I will probably act like a bumbling idiot and sit in a corner. The struggle :laugh:

However, when i'm provoked, or when I give a speech or ask questions, I am confident in what I have to say. Teach yourself to feel that talking to people is universal, because it is. It doesn't matter if you are talking to a hot girl, or a teacher that is kind of mean, if you talk the same way to people, people always want a similar, positive response.

Try to get involved and get yourself in situations that may feel uncomfortable. Unfortunately, you will feel embarrassed and shy when you are put in these situations, however it's crucial to get yourself used to talking to people and talking to groups of people.

Also, be more confident. (or at least try to).

Posture, attitude, and the way you speak are all indicative of a leader or a follower. I always try to dress presentable (oxford shirts, boat shoes, always neatly shaven) and act accordingly (not like a total stuck up ____, but just acting mature and not partaking in things that would change people's views of you)

I tried out for various sports, not to be on the team, but to meet people and get out of my comfort zone.

Also don't be a recluse and shield yourself from obvious trends. People will say "you are conforming to society" which is total :bullcrap:

You are just educating yourself about the times, and when something comes up, you will have more to say about the subject.

First of all, I don't condone the show "Jersey Shore" but I watched an episode or two and knew the characters and looked up some things about the subject so I can comment or make a funny remark when I talked to girls.

All the girls in my school read Fifty Shades of Grey, and I read a summary about it and the highlights of some scenes in the book so whenever someone mentioned it, I would make another funny remark, make some new girl laugh, and eventually get the date :laugh:

As for college related things, it comes with the maturity, I think. It's your livelihood: your education, your future, your career. You should naturally want to be assertive in this aspect.

Good luck with being more outspoken. I was the shyest kid freshman year, and now I did the pep rally and I was running all over the floor like a madman for school spirit. Sure, some jerk guys who laughed at me, but there were some cute girls that were laughing with me ;)
 
OP
nysegop

nysegop

Removed
Apr 15, 2012
1,724
7
Somewhere Cold...
Status
Pre-Medical
Nysegop,

I am similar. I talk to more girls more. I feel that girls are more mature and you can relate to them easier. I'm not very popular either. I don't mind, less drama.

I don't dance at parties, and i'm scared to ask someone to prom because I can't dance and I will probably act like a bumbling idiot and sit in a corner. The struggle :laugh:

However, when i'm provoked, or when I give a speech or ask questions, I am confident in what I have to say. Teach yourself to feel that talking to people is universal, because it is. It doesn't matter if you are talking to a hot girl, or a teacher that is kind of mean, if you talk the same way to people, people always want a similar, positive response.

Try to get involved and get yourself in situations that may feel uncomfortable. Unfortunately, you will feel embarrassed and shy when you are put in these situations, however it's crucial to get yourself used to talking to people and talking to groups of people.

Also, be more confident. (or at least try to).

Posture, attitude, and the way you speak are all indicative of a leader or a follower. I always try to dress presentable (oxford shirts, boat shoes, always neatly shaven) and act accordingly (not like a total stuck up ____, but just acting mature and not partaking in things that would change people's views of you)

I tried out for various sports, not to be on the team, but to meet people and get out of my comfort zone.

Also don't be a recluse and shield yourself from obvious trends. People will say "you are conforming to society" which is total :bullcrap:

You are just educating yourself about the times, and when something comes up, you will have more to say about the subject.

First of all, I don't condone the show "Jersey Shore" but I watched an episode or two and knew the characters and looked up some things about the subject so I can comment or make a funny remark when I talked to girls.

All the girls in my school read Fifty Shades of Grey, and I read a summary about it and the highlights of some scenes in the book so whenever someone mentioned it, I would make another funny remark, make some new girl laugh, and eventually get the date :laugh:

As for college related things, it comes with the maturity, I think. It's your livelihood: your education, your future, your career. You should naturally want to be assertive in this aspect.

Good luck with being more outspoken. I was the shyest kid freshman year, and now I did the pep rally and I was running all over the floor like a madman for school spirit. Sure, some jerk guys who laughed at me, but there were some cute girls that were laughing with me ;)
Thanks for the tips. I will try putting myself out there more.
 
Aug 12, 2012
84
0
Idaho
Status
Pre-Medical
Thanks for the tips. I will try putting myself out there more.
I am very much an introvert, but with time, I have become much better at being outgoing, which is an important aspect of going into a career in medicine. I agree that time and maturity work wonders. The number 1 best thing I ever did to help gain confidence and become more extroverted was get a job working in the ED of a hospital. If you are headed toward medicine, the experience is invaluable, and you have no choice but to throw yourself out there.
Also, I would recommend reading this book: "Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking." It's written by an extremely introverted attorney who now actually teaches people how to act more extroverted and succeed in their career. She gives great advice about how to be more outgoing without sacrificing who you are in the process.
 
Feb 17, 2013
32
2
Status
Medical Student
This is a fairly unconventional thread for a premed forum, but what are some ways to become more outgoing and less shy?

I've always been fairly reclusive. While friends are at movies and parties I'm usually reading or at home. I'm pretty shy, especially with other guys. I'm not gay. I just find it much easier to talk to girls. I'm not very popular and I don't need to be. I have maybe 15 good friends.

My main concern is when it comes to college, talking to professors, asking for recommendations, interviews, and such.

What are some tips or ways I could slowly become more outgoing, less reclusive, and less shy?
Thing is, you don't need to be outgoing or even extroverted to be able to talk to professors in college or ask for recommendations. You can even do well at interviews without being an extroverted kinda person - not all college/med students are super confident extroverts. Does the fact that you don't go to parties right now affect how you deal with your teachers at school? College is no different.

That said, parties are fun, so I'd suggest that you go to them because you're only a teenager once, and going to parties and doing stupid stuff is all part of the fun of being a teen.

Also, if you have 15 "good" friends, you're doing very well indeed!
 

neusu

Staff member
Administrator
7+ Year Member
Feb 13, 2012
1,635
1,781
Status
Attending Physician
You have to ask yourself if you really want to be more outgoing or if you are happy the way you are. Likewise, what are you missing out on that you would gain by being outgoing. If the answer is yes and something substantial then there are ways to work on it. First off, assess the reason you are not outgoing. Is it self-esteem, anxiety, complacency? All of these can be changed. PM me if you have any specific questions