how to convince the husband...

[rachmoninov3]

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...That I should apply to more schools. From his point of view, this is the first time he's ever lived in a place that he has owned, and it's prabably the longest time he's lived in anyone place for quite a while. I'm sympathetic because I love it here, and I want to stay in the rocky mountains too. But I just can't beat the feeling that all this misery is my fault, and that I'd have gotten in somewhere, that someone would have wanted me, if I just applied to more schools.

My only thoughts are pressing how much better it would be if I could start school, then when it's through, the thought of holding on to this little condo will seem like a moot point. And secondly that the condo contains equity, and it'll either make the move easier, or we could even keep it and contract it out. I'm certain a lot of travel nursing companies that would probably love to lease it. We'll deal with it then. And the all time favorite reason: it's only for four years...

 

[madonna]

...That I should apply to more schools. From his point of view, this is the first time he's ever lived in a place that he has owned, and it's prabably the longest time he's lived in anyone place for quite a while. I'm sympathetic because I love it here, and I want to stay in the rocky mountains too. But I just can't beat the feeling that all this misery is my fault, and that I'd have gotten in somewhere, that someone would have wanted me, if I just applied to more schools.

My only thoughts are pressing how much better it would be if I could start school, then when it's through, the thought of holding on to this little condo will seem like a moot point. And secondly that the condo contains equity, and it'll either make the move easier, or we could even keep it and contract it out. I'm certain a lot of travel nursing companies that would probably love to lease it. We'll deal with it then. And the all time favorite reason: it's only for four years...

i'd really advise you to apply widely. once you have an acceptance, it is your choice to turn it down or accept it. at the same time your husband might view the situation differently if he sees you with an acceptance, even though it might mean moving.

 

[ShyRem]

rachmoninov, I am also in the Rocky Mts, and my husband has lived in Colorado his entire life. I applied last year and didn't get in anywhere (and to make it worse, I applied REALLY late). I applied this year to MD and DO schools and hold an acceptance and a waitlist.

I didn't even get an interview at my state school - and it turns out it's statistically more difficult to get into Colorado than California as an in-state student. My husband has been fabulous through this whole thing, and no matter what we are moving over 2000 miles away for the next four years. He's ok with that - and he knows that for residency we may be moving again, and not to our beloved mountainous state. But after that ... after that we'll have some options. And who knows? We might fall in love with another part of the country (I grew up near the east coast and have lived in three other states other than Colorado, so I'm a bit more familiar with other places than he is). We also have our first home, and it's going to be sad to leave it.

But something better is coming. And the future is a grand adventure waiting for us to throw open the doors and step through.

I agree to apply widely. It's hard to turn down an acceptance no matter where it is, and it's easier to make a choice between two or three if you get lucky enough to have that luxury. It's hard to look back and say "what if..." Good luck.

 

[rachmoninov3]

How many schools did you apply to? How did you pick them? So far, I've used the mcat/gpa calculator on studentdoc.com, and only found two schools where I'd be competitive at that looked good applying to:

Howard, and Loma Linda. I've also thought of two other state schools, indiana and arizona (I was born in az, and my parents are from southbend fighting irish).

 

[ShyRem]

You can't always go by studentdoc.com - they say I'm not competitive for VCU at all, yet I got a secondary and interview there. They say I AM competitive for Albany - flat out rejected there. So take what you see on that website with a MAJOR grain of salt.

bottom line: apply widely. Sell yourself. We basically took out a map and said "where *DON'T* we want to live?" and crossed those states off. Then we went through and crossed off places I obviously didn't have a chance in hell of getting in (places that are in-state only, California schools, Washington, Mayo, etc.). Along with that I kept on the list anywhere my GPA OR MCAT was anywhere close to their acceptable range. I chose to apply to 9 MD schools and 8 DO schools this time around.

Good luck.

 

[DMD2005]

Hi,

I'm not applying to med school - I just graduated dental school but I saw your post and went through something similar when deciding on dental schools five years ago. Here is my take on it and what I did when dealing with the exact same situation (you can choose to read or not 🙂 ).

My husband and I were living in California when I applied and he was insisting that I ONLY apply to California schools - well I knew I wasn't going to get into California schools...so I applied to a couple East Coast schools as well. When he saw that I was not interviewed at California schools, I think he realized that the East Coast was my only chance. He had lived there before in Boston for college and he HATED it and did not want to go back. He also was not comfortable with the fact that we'd be renting for four more years!!!

Well, I ended up going to Boston U. and dragging him (albeit kicking and screaming) back to the East Coast. I will be honest and tell you it wasn't easy relocating him especially in that first year - add to that the stress of the academic program and it's really stressful. However, he got used to it as the four years passed.

Those four years of medical school will pass faster than you (or your husband) can blink. We are now back here in California, have bought our first dream home and I have matched at a residency program right here near home. He actually has confessed to missing Boston now.

I don't know what kind of career your husband has or the way your relationship works or how old you are - but there is one thing I know - you will be happier person and a more satisfied person in the long run if you just get started with school. When I was having difficulty convincing my husband, I just basically put my foot down and said I HAD to have a career. I told him I would be a bitter middle-aged person if I gave up doing what I had always wanted to do.

My mother also gave some advice - why not reach your OWN potential regardless because after all, the divorce rate in this country is 50/50 (not that I think you or me fall into that category).

Please don't wait - convince him to be more flexible...tell him you will be a better wife if you are a happy wife with a great career. Do it for the long run...good luck.

...That I should apply to more schools. From his point of view, this is the first time he's ever lived in a place that he has owned, and it's prabably the longest time he's lived in anyone place for quite a while. I'm sympathetic because I love it here, and I want to stay in the rocky mountains too. But I just can't beat the feeling that all this misery is my fault, and that I'd have gotten in somewhere, that someone would have wanted me, if I just applied to more schools.

My only thoughts are pressing how much better it would be if I could start school, then when it's through, the thought of holding on to this little condo will seem like a moot point. And secondly that the condo contains equity, and it'll either make the move easier, or we could even keep it and contract it out. I'm certain a lot of travel nursing companies that would probably love to lease it. We'll deal with it then. And the all time favorite reason: it's only for four years...

 

[TacoStand]

How many schools did you apply to? How did you pick them? So far, I've used the mcat/gpa calculator on studentdoc.com, and only found two schools where I'd be competitive at that looked good applying to:

Howard, and Loma Linda. I've also thought of two other state schools, indiana and arizona (I was born in az, and my parents are from southbend fighting irish).

My wife and I also live in the Rocky Mountains and my wife was not very excited about moving away from here (neither was I, for that matter). Since she was getting the short end of the stick, I wanted her to chose the schools that I applied to - where was she willing or maybe excited to move and more importantly, where did she not want to move.

From there, I chose schools that I thought I had a shot at by looking at stats - % OOS accepted/interviewed, avg MCAT, etc.

For multiple acceptances, I wanted my wife to make the decision (if she wanted to). In the end, it was a very easy choice, so I did not have to struggle with wanting to go to school A and my wife choosing school B.

Its tough when you consider the sacrifice that your wife/husband has to make for you to go to med school. That's why I tried to be sensitive to her and to involve her in every way that I could.

 

[rachmoninov3]

My husband was going along with the whole idea, until yesterday when he brought up the fact: Our credit sucks, we were lucky to get the realestate contract that we did. Equity or not, it's not feasable that we just get up and move.
Then there's also paying for an out of state med school...right now my employer would probably put up the 50K needed for unm, but 120K for an outta state school?!
These are certainly good reasons why it can't be done, but still...I'll apply to more schools and then see what happens when that acceptance is in my hands.

 

[DoctorFunk]

Equity or not, and regardless of whether your tuition payment comes through an employer or exclusively through student loans, medical school is an investment in yourself. The salary that you will command upon completion of your training will almost certainly negate any financial hardships that you have to undergo to get there.

You also simply can't put a pricetag on being in a career field that you enjoy. Being able to go to school/work in the morning with no regrets, excited for the day to come is a real blessing. I think that your husband is trying to think rationally about the situation, but perhaps he is not taking in the big picture when considering the financial and emotional benefits to you pursuing a career as a physician wherever that career may take you.