how to keep long distance relationship?

[joonkimdds]

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Me and my gf live in VA now.

If I go to Midwestern University in Arizona, how often do you guys think that I will be able to come to VA to see her?

And what are good ways to maintain our relationship besides using webcam-chat everyday?

And for those of you who got engaged or married, when do you think is a good time for me to engage my girlfriend and how much does it cost to do so assuming that I got no money right now.

 

[liriano]

Me and my gf live in VA now.

If I go to Midwestern University in Arizona, how often do you guys think that I will be able to come to VA to see her?

And what are good ways to maintain our relationship besides using webcam-chat everyday?

And for those of you who got engaged or married, when do you think is a good time for me to engage my girlfriend and how much does it cost to do so assuming that I got no money right now.

I think you will get a variety of colorful answers from people on this forum. But I will try to be serious. I too am facing a long distance relationship upon my recent acceptance. I am a few hours from my gf now, but that is about to turn into around seven and a half once the Fall hits. I think that you have to be proactive. If you don't mind taking the financial hit, create an "airplane fund" from your loans that you'll take for your D1 year. Take out 2 or 3 thousand extra, throw it in a bank account, and have it in both of your names. That way, when one of you wants to see the other, all you have to do is book a flight. This may seem like a lot, but if your relationship is worth saving, I would give this a try (this is what I am planning to do, btw). As for the engagement stuff, I have no comment lol. GL

 

[doc toofache]

You are not in undergrad anymore. There will be VERY few breaks to see your lovely girlfriend. You will probably end up breaking up. That's just what happens - sorry.

Or she can move to Arizona with you.

 

[63B2B]

You are not in undergrad anymore. There will be VERY few breaks to see your lovely girlfriend. You will probably end up breaking up. That's just what happens - sorry.

Or she can move to Arizona with you.

Sad but true.

 

[dl9006]

You are not in undergrad anymore. There will be VERY few breaks to see your lovely girlfriend. You will probably end up breaking up. That's just what happens - sorry.

Or she can move to Arizona with you.

lol wow cold..

im also in a similar situation

hope things work out for all us who will do long d

 

[joonkimdds]

I think you will get a variety of colorful answers from people on this forum. But I will try to be serious. I too am facing a long distance relationship upon my recent acceptance. I am a few hours from my gf now, but that is about to turn into around seven and a half once the Fall hits. I think that you have to be proactive. If you don't mind taking the financial hit, create an "airplane fund" from your loans that you'll take for your D1 year. Take out 2 or 3 thousand extra, throw it in a bank account, and have it in both of your names. That way, when one of you wants to see the other, all you have to do is book a flight. This may seem like a lot, but if your relationship is worth saving, I would give this a try (this is what I am planning to do, btw). As for the engagement stuff, I have no comment lol. GL

I think you and I are on the same boat. I also have to drive 2 hrs on highway to see my girlfriend these days and that is about to turn into around eight hours in flight.

I seriously don't want to break up...I don't want to become a dentist who can't even take care of his own girlfriend.

I have about 5 to 6 months before I move to AZ. I think I will find a job now so I can spend all that money on our flight tickets for next 4 years.

 

[Tooth Pulp]

If you two are serious enough to talk about engagement, then have you discussed the possibility of her moving to AZ with you? I know it's a sacrifice, but could be the best answer.

 

[Predoctalk]

If you two are serious enough to talk about engagement, then have you discussed the possibility of her moving to AZ with you? I know it's a sacrifice, but could be the best answer.

I completely agree. Is it a job or school that is keeping her in VA? If you two are planning to get married eventually, you may as well put the plan in effect now. IMO long distance will be extremely difficult with such a demanding schedule.

 

[minotaur9]

i think the only way for this to work and for the 2 of you to not be in continuous pain (from missing eachother), she should move to AZ with you. What's the reason that that's not the current plan? I have been with the same person for 10 years and we've always moved with each other. Maybe one of us had a good job in one area, but we made sacrifices/adjustments for the other and started fresh somewhere else just so that we could be together. Unfortunately, the above posters are probably right, unless you are the exception to the rule, you guys will eventually go your seperate ways.

As far as proposing to your girlfriend, that's a better question for a friend or family member that knows you guys better. And engagement can cost as little or as much as you want it too. Depends on what she'll be happy with/accept. Ask her about it, you guys should be open and talk about marriage if it's a consideration.

 

[MXDenty77]

look at the date doctors coming out of the wood work.. haha.. Don't listen to anyone but you and your gf man. If you want to make it work you will its that simple. It will not be easy but if its worth it you will make it work.. period. Don't listen to anyone on here about relationship advice, as if their situation explains yours. Man just give it your best shot and see where the cards fall when your done. I like the flight pool idea but as long as the two of you are flexible and willing to work it out you will be fine.

 

[Tooth Pulp]

Don't listen to anyone on here about relationship advice, as if their situation explains yours.

Telling the OP to disregard everyone's advice then offering your own is quite the contradiction. Plus they posted asking for advice.

 

[wondergirls]

its really difficult to answer your question, joonkimdds, since this is your personal situation. that said, i also was in a long distance relationship involving plane tickets and 10 hour flights. it didn't work out mainly bc it was a huge financial burden on each of us. but if you're willing to go through that for your gf, i'd say go for it. it's your choice in the end.

 

[adrift1984]

Me and my gf live in VA now.

If I go to Midwestern University in Arizona, how often do you guys think that I will be able to come to VA to see her?

And what are good ways to maintain our relationship besides using webcam-chat everyday?

And for those of you who got engaged or married, when do you think is a good time for me to engage my girlfriend and how much does it cost to do so assuming that I got no money right now.

I understand you wanting to talk about how to cope with a long distance relationship........but in regards to getting engaged, I would say that is a 100% personal decision that no one here can answer. I will give you my two cents though.....I would postpone getting married even engaged until you are at least living in the same city......and if she does move to AZ, perhaps 3rd or 4th year.

Joon I have seen many of your posts and I feel you need to consider the opinion of sdn as not a good source for your personal life. If you are doing so simply to generate some talking points...so be it. I do hope it works out for you as I will likely be going through the same thing.

 

[subdoc]

They posted asking for advice *****

That was his advice...and GREAT advice at that. I think calling someone you don't know a "*****" is quite sophomoric.

Personally, I feel this thread should be canx and saved for a "Dear Abby" column.

 

[minotaur9]

They posted asking for advice *****

+1

 

[SuperTank]

Me and my gf live in VA now.

If I go to Midwestern University in Arizona, how often do you guys think that I will be able to come to VA to see her?

And what are good ways to maintain our relationship besides using webcam-chat everyday?

And for those of you who got engaged or married, when do you think is a good time for me to engage my girlfriend and how much does it cost to do so assuming that I got no money right now.

I tried the long distance thing when I was an undergrad. It didn't work out, and it wasn't worth it... it was emotionally taxing and expensive.

More recently I lived in Europe for two years serving as a missionary for my church while my girlfriend stayed here in America. It was a thousand times more difficult. I wouldn't wish a long distance relationship on anyone. We were married less than 2 months after I got back.

If I were in your shoes, joon, I would seriously consider the idea of getting engaged before dental school starts, and getting married next summer. (Since you asked when a good time would be) The long distance thing would SUCK for 4 years, and if you're planning on getting married anyway, you could save a lot of heartache and money for both of you if you do it sooner rather than later. After a year of school, you should know if it's going to work out anyway, there's no sense dragging it out the whole four years.

 

[Ninja9]

I will be moving away from my boyfriend of 2 years this fall. He is finishing his undergrad in Mech. Engineering in December, and will be moving to Colorado to be with me in January 2011. I know the 6 months apart will be tough, but I'm trying to look on the bright side and think of it as a trial. If we can survive the time apart, then he should move out there to start our life together. If we can't handle it, then it's better to know now than have him re-locate only to break up anyways.

Ultimately, it is up to you, though. Is there a reason why she can't move with you?

 

[FutureDent020]

That was his advice...and GREAT advice at that. I think calling someone you don't know a "*****" is quite sophomoric.

Personally, I feel this thread should be canx and saved for a "Dear Abby" column.

I agree

 

[srb711]

My wife is in the military and is stationed in Corpus Christi, Tx and I'm in Nebraska = over a 1,000 miles. It can be done, but it basically boils down to this: it will work if you both want it to work. It goes without saying that this will require a ridiculous amount of commitment from both parties. So if she can't move to Arizona... then you need to try to see each other once a month (or every six weeks as the least, other wise you'll just go crazy). But since you're going to be a D1, then you're more then likely going to be too busy to do the traveling, so she has to be willing to do all of it (except for on breaks). It will be tough, but it can be done.

 

[Tooth Pulp]

That was his advice...and GREAT advice at that. I think calling someone you don't know a "*****" is quite sophomoric.

Personally, I feel this thread should be canx and saved for a "Dear Abby" column.

You criticize more civilly, using adjectives like sophomoric. I prefer to be more blunt, or immature as you have correctly suggested. To each his own.

 

[joonkimdds]

Ultimately, it is up to you, though. Is there a reason why she can't move with you?

well...the most difficult problem is getting her mom's permission.

 

[psi169]

...

 

[DatRat86]

Hey Bro, so I am 23 and I got married when I was 21. As an undergraduate I have been going to school full time and my wife has worked full time. Honestly I have had more money being married then I have when I wasn't married. So if you are ready to commit, dont worry about anything financially especially now that you are in dental school!!!! Good luck to you and I hope you find this helpfull!

 

[spud daddy]

Is this thread for real?

 

[Predoctalk]

well...the most difficult problem is getting her mom's permission.

Considering the fact that you are both adults, you two don't need her mother's permission. I understand that it is an issue of respect, but at what point do you two start living your own lives? If you are as serious as you let on (and she is too), then don't let her mother's piece of mind be the deciding factor in whether or not you two will have to endure the stresses of a long distance relationship. Is she afraid to ask/tell her mom? Have you even talked to her about moving?

 

[alec0884]

If I were in your shoes, joon, I would seriously consider the idea of getting engaged before dental school starts, and getting married next summer. (Since you asked when a good time would be) The long distance thing would SUCK for 4 years, and if you're planning on getting married anyway, you could save a lot of heartache and money for both of you if you do it sooner rather than later. After a year of school, you should know if it's going to work out anyway, there's no sense dragging it out the whole four years.

I hope you are saying that she should move to AZ with him........because it appears you that you believe there is some difference between being married and in a relationship in the context of a long distance relationship. I would never recommend getting married just to be separated for the first 3 years of your marriage.

OP........no one here knows you or your gf...........maybe you should talk to her about it (just a thought).

 

[SuperTank]

I hope you are saying that she should move to AZ with him........because it appears you that you believe there is some difference between been being married and in a relationship in the context of a long distance relationship. I would never recommend getting married just to be separated for the first 3 years of your marriage.

OP........no one here knows you or your gf...........maybe you should talk to her about it (just a thought).

Of course I meant to get married and have her move their with him.

 

[Dent010]

I speak from personal experience. I have been in a long distance relationship for 4 years, and we are both going to professional school and will probably have to extend it another 4 years. Everyone told us it couldn't be done and here we are closer than before and engaged. Not to mention we were both busy and only saw each other once every 2 months. If you both are really committed then you can definitely make this work. Take what everyone says with a grain of salt. Only you know your relationship and whether its worth carrying on and at what expense. I promise you it will not be easy, but it can be done. If anything, it will really test the relationship.good luck.

 

[joonkimdds]

I speak from personal experience. I have been in a long distance relationship for 4 years, and we are both going to professional school and will probably have to extend it another 4 years. Everyone told us it couldn't be done and here we are closer than before and engaged. Not to mention we were both busy and only saw each other once every 2 months. If you both are really committed then you can definitely make this work. Take what everyone says with a grain of salt. Only you know your relationship and whether its worth carrying on and at what expense. I promise you it will not be easy, but it can be done. If anything, it will really test the relationship.good luck.

Thanks. I guess you and I have many things in common

 

[LoLPoPs]

Me and my gf live in VA now.

If I go to Midwestern University in Arizona, how often do you guys think that I will be able to come to VA to see her?

And what are good ways to maintain our relationship besides using webcam-chat everyday?

And for those of you who got engaged or married, when do you think is a good time for me to engage my girlfriend and how much does it cost to do so assuming that I got no money right now.

LOL~😍 I guess you forgot to tell ppl that I'm also a pre-dent checking SDN everyday LOL!!!!!

(I'm his gf BTW...😀)

 

[Predoctalk]

LOL~😍 I guess you forgot to tell ppl that I'm also a pre-dent checking SDN everyday LOL!!!!!

(I'm his gf BTW...😀)

Lol, if you are truly the gf of the famous JOON perhaps you can shed some light on your current predicament. 😀

 

[New2Philly]

LOL~😍 I guess you forgot to tell ppl that I'm also a pre-dent checking SDN everyday LOL!!!!!

(I'm his gf BTW...😀)

From a guy who worked with his wife while dating; you guys should not go to the same dental school. You two won't get anything done that is dental related . I am glad to see you two are like minded when it comes to professional school. That will help a lot with the long distance relationship.

 

[spud daddy]

Instead of talking about it with each other and making a mature decision, they are posting their predicament on a dental forum and asking for opinions. They want validation for moving in together but are afraid to ask her parents for her permission. She is an adult but since her folks still pay for everything she has to respect what they say. Sounds kinda like a high school relationship.

 

[Predoctalk]

Instead of talking about it with each other and making a mature decision, they are posting their predicament on a dental forum and asking for opinions. They want validation for moving in together but are afraid to ask her parents for her permission. She is an adult but since her folks still pay for everything she has to respect what they say. Sounds kinda like a high school relationship.

Haha, but it sure provides entertainment during work 👍

 

[SuperTank]

From a guy who worked with his wife while dating; you guys should not go to the same dental school. You two won't get anything done that is dental related . I am glad to see you two are like minded when it comes to professional school. That will help a lot with the long distance relationship.

Oh man... so tempting to say something here to refute that... but I'll keep it clean😀

I also worked with my wife while we were still dating (I actually met her at work)... productivity was WAY down that year.

 

[New2Philly]

Instead of talking about it with each other and making a mature decision, they are posting their predicament on a dental forum and asking for opinions. They want validation for moving in together but are afraid to ask her parents for her permission. She is an adult but since her folks still pay for everything she has to respect what they say. Sounds kinda like a high school relationship.

👍
The distance may be good for the relationship. You both will learn new things, and grow emotionally. Also, your will to continue in the relationship will be tested which could either draw you closer together, or reveal that you two are not right for each other. Either way both of you benefit individually.

 

[triple seven]

Please, Please don't take this offensively.
But truth is, long distant relationship never ever works.
Based on my experience and many others, I've seen almost 9.9/10 cases ended up breaking. Think about it, you won't have to time to chat, or even fly back to VA to meet your gf, maybe once in each semester? First couple months she will be okay, but as time passed she will eventually meet other people not supposed to be cheating but, and story goes from there. I'd really like to make you feel better by simply saying she will be waiting for you or get engaged so that you guys can have something that will hold you guys together. But, in reality, especially, the relationship, come on brother. I bet that you will meet someone at the d. school.
At some point, your gf will begin to complain about the distant relationship plus you will be so stressed from tons of work from school, then there will be someone that you are going to talk about this stressful relationship. IF that SOMEONE is female, kinda attractive, Make you feel relaxed whenever you talking to her sharing this stress! END OF STORY.
But good luck.. It's your call..

 

[SuperTank]

Please, Please don't take this offensively.
But truth is, long distant relationship never ever works.
Based on my experience and many others, I've seen almost 9.9/10 cases ended up breaking. Think about it, you won't have to time to chat, or even fly back to VA to meet your gf, maybe once in each semester? First couple months she will be okay, but as time passed she will eventually meet other people not supposed to be cheating but, and story goes from there. I'd really like to make you feel better by simply saying she will be waiting for you or get engaged so that you guys can have something that will hold you guys together. But, in reality, especially, the relationship, come on brother. I bet that you will meet someone at the d. school.
At some point, your gf will begin to complain about the distant relationship plus you will be so stressed from tons of work from school, then there will be someone that you are going to talk about this stressful relationship. IF that SOMEONE is female, kinda attractive, Make you feel relaxed whenever you talking to her sharing this stress! END OF STORY.
But good luck.. It's your call..

Met my wife July 10, 2006
Dated for 10 months
Left for Europe on May 9, 2007
Didn't see her again until May 14, 2009
Married her on July 10, 2009

It does feel good to be that one-in-a-hundred.

 

[New2Philly]

Please, Please don't take this offensively.
But truth is, long distant relationship never ever works.
Based on my experience and many others, I've seen almost 9.9/10 cases ended up breaking. Think about it, you won't have to time to chat, or even fly back to VA to meet your gf, maybe once in each semester? First couple months she will be okay, but as time passed she will eventually meet other people not supposed to be cheating but, and story goes from there. I'd really like to make you feel better by simply saying she will be waiting for you or get engaged so that you guys can have something that will hold you guys together. But, in reality, especially, the relationship, come on brother. I bet that you will meet someone at the d. school.
At some point, your gf will begin to complain about the distant relationship plus you will be so stressed from tons of work from school, then there will be someone that you are going to talk about this stressful relationship. IF that SOMEONE is female, kinda attractive, Make you feel relaxed whenever you talking to her sharing this stress! END OF STORY.
But good luck.. It's your call..

We all agree with your statistics, but we don't know them personally. We really have no idea if this is going to work, and if they really are as into each other as they seem they have to give it a shot. But I totally agree that they shouldn't be shocked if their relationship doesn't last this. More then likely they will be seeing other people before NDBE I.

 

[MnBucky]

Haha this thread is ridiculous. Who decides this on a forum with strangers? Joon your threads/signature thing are killin me!

 

[OCizzle]

SDN is about the last place I'd ask for relationship advice.

 

[Gaussian]

In near future, people will post food recipes or legal counseling questions in SDN !!?? 😛

 

[cmcner]

OP, for a long time I thought it would be impossible for a long distance relationship to work, but it just depends on the person I guess. On my way back home from a dental interview I ended up sitting next to a Med school student who was flying half way across the country to see his girl friend for the weekend. He said he does it every two weeks and it's his treat to himself. She comes to visit him the other weekends. I thought this was impressive and pretty much showed me I was wrong, it can be done but you have to really want it. Just thought you might want to hear that story.

 

[dmd87]

hey guys... soo i feel really shy to ask this question but i thought this would be a good place to ask, im buying new bedding and im wondering what thread count and finish i should go with??? also do you guys think goose down comforters are warmer??

 

[spud daddy]

I just sleep on a cot with some newspapers on top of me.

 

[Ninja9]

There will be no time for sleep in dental school....

 

[MnBucky]

hey guys... soo i feel really shy to ask this question but i thought this would be a good place to ask, im buying new bedding and im wondering what thread count and finish i should go with??? also do you guys think goose down comforters are warmer??

if u go any less than 500 thread count your going to fail dentistry. good thing you asked, avoided a disaster.

I'm having a hard time deciding whether or not to decor my bedroom with artificial flowers or real? i mean, with real flowers i have the benefits of beautiful aroma that could benefit my studying, but i fear that i will not have time to proper care for these with the rigorous schedule of dental school. what do you guys think?

 

[Ninja9]

if u go any less than 500 thread count your going to fail dentistry. good thing you asked, avoided a disaster.

I'm having a hard time deciding whether or not to decor my bedroom with artificial flowers or real? i mean, with real flowers i have the benefits of beautiful aroma that could benefit my studying, but i fear that i will not have time to proper care for these with the rigorous schedule of dental school. what do you guys think?

Hmm, that's a tough call. I think you should consult with some local florists before making such a tough decision. After all, your future career is depending on it! 😉

 

[ddsjc2014]

me and my gf live in va now.

If i go to midwestern university in arizona, how often do you guys think that i will be able to come to va to see her?

And what are good ways to maintain our relationship besides using webcam-chat everyday?

And for those of you who got engaged or married, when do you think is a good time for me to engage my girlfriend and how much does it cost to do so assuming that i got no money right now.

g/l

 

[triple seven]

Me and my gf live in VA now.

If I go to Midwestern University in Arizona, how often do you guys think that I will be able to come to VA to see her?

And what are good ways to maintain our relationship besides using webcam-chat everyday?

And for those of you who got engaged or married, when do you think is a good time for me to engage my girlfriend and how much does it cost to do so assuming that I got no money right now.

Hey, Joon. I just want to let you know one thing.
I haven't met you in person but, one thing I really want to tell you is Do not ruin your life because of the relationship, It Is hard, very hard to keep good relationship and concentrate on dental work. But you gotta know which one is more important at this moment. Girl? DDS=future??
Now, you may think she is The ONLY one, but as you get older, you will see how many girls out there. And your perspectives on looking for dates will be so different than now. As soon as I read your post I had feeling that you are about 24-25, and if you are sure about your relationship and have strong faith, then I guess you wouldn't even ask us how to keep them strong. You know better if you sure about your girl. But I guess you are not. The answer is right between you and your gf bro. I had ruined at some point in my life, that's why I'm stressing you all this. Just take this as an advise. As I said, Good Luck.