How to let go of being an A student

[GoToHolmes]

I'm about to dump some exposition about **** that's been going on in my current journey through dental school

My entire life up to this point I remember always tryharding to get As in everything. It didn't always work but that was the explicit goal going into any class. There were a lot of reasons for this, a major one being I wanted to keep doors open for me in the future. I kept this mindset all throughout middle school, high school, and undergrad. Now I feel like it's getting in the way of my life in dental school. I do want to keep doors open for myself in case I want to specialize but I don't know if it's worth it to do so when I have not been exposed to any specialty in any real capacity.

A part of me says to keep grinding. To stay indoors doing anki or looking over notes. To try to get into a specialty program and be more than a GP. But it's only a month in and I am already so tired. I could do this in undergrad but the current pace of exams, practicals, quizzes, etc is far beyond what I've experienced up until now. I've been doing well in school but I don't know how long I can keep it up. I either need to let go of being an A student or be destroyed. But I don't know how to let go.

I feel like I have nothing going for me outside of my academics. I am not good looking, I don't have a lot of friends, I don't have a girlfriend, etc. All I've ever been able to do well is score well on tests. I know that Cs get degrees and that I will be a dentist regardless of whether I graduate first in my class or last but that doesn't really make me feel any better about being a mediocre student for the next four years. I feel proud when I do well on exams but there's also a certain safety in it. If I do well in class I never have to worry about people looking down on me for being a bad student. It's not even parental pressure driving me. My parents don't care about my grades so long as I graduate with my DDS. My mom specifically told me that she no longer expects perfection and that she'd be proud of me regardless. At this point "gunning" is just part of my identity.

Anyone come into school with a "I'm gonna be/need to be an A student for specialty apps or personal pride reasons" and then let go of it? Please share your story. Thanks for coming to my ted talk

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[TanMan]

TL;DR.

None of it matters in real world practice. Most of what you learn is not relevant. Getting A's only mattered in getting in. In dental school, it only matters if you need to get in somewhere (specialty program). Otherwise, you're mastering something (getting A's) in something that's mostly irrelevant in real world practice which makes you a worse clinical dentist. It's more important to learn the fundamental concepts (the why) rather than the how (of dental school). Then you can critically think of how to make your procedures better. Being a gunner is pointless because it will drain you if you're not specializing. Focus your energies on things that matter. Dental school does not matter, just don't fail. I used to care when I thought I wanted to be an endodontist - research, publications, grades, forming clubs and making leadership positions that sound good on paper, and all the other BS associated. I was liberated when I decided to do GP instead. Best decision ever.

You let go by thinking about your situation pragmatically. If you can't get out of your mental block, how will you be able to overcome other mental blocks in your professional career?

Good luck!

 

[Big Time Hoosier]

At this point "gunning" is just part of my identity.

Most professional students have always been gunning for the next step in their career progression. You are now in a terminal degree. For most dental students, this will be the end of the road. Accept it. What comes next is actually working and paying taxes.

Just do your best without burning out. That's all you should expect of yourself.

Big Hoss

 

[Rambunctious]

I'm about to dump some exposition about **** that's been going on in my current journey through dental school

My entire life up to this point I remember always tryharding to get As in everything. It didn't always work but that was the explicit goal going into any class. There were a lot of reasons for this, a major one being I wanted to keep doors open for me in the future. I kept this mindset all throughout middle school, high school, and undergrad. Now I feel like it's getting in the way of my life in dental school. I do want to keep doors open for myself in case I want to specialize but I don't know if it's worth it to do so when I have not been exposed to any specialty in any real capacity.

A part of me says to keep grinding. To stay indoors doing anki or looking over notes. To try to get into a specialty program and be more than a GP. But it's only a month in and I am already so tired. I could do this in undergrad but the current pace of exams, practicals, quizzes, etc is far beyond what I've experienced up until now. I've been doing well in school but I don't know how long I can keep it up. I either need to let go of being an A student or be destroyed. But I don't know how to let go.

I feel like I have nothing going for me outside of my academics. I am not good looking, I don't have a lot of friends, I don't have a girlfriend, etc. All I've ever been able to do well is score well on tests. I know that Cs get degrees and that I will be a dentist regardless of whether I graduate first in my class or last but that doesn't really make me feel any better about being a mediocre student for the next four years. I feel proud when I do well on exams but there's also a certain safety in it. If I do well in class I never have to worry about people looking down on me for being a bad student. It's not even parental pressure driving me. My parents don't care about my grades so long as I graduate with my DDS. My mom specifically told me that she no longer expects perfection and that she'd be proud of me regardless. At this point "gunning" is just part of my identity.

Anyone come into school with a "I'm gonna be/need to be an A student for specialty apps or personal pride reasons" and then let go of it? Please share your story. Thanks for coming to my ted talk

Hit the gym bro it will change your life, no joke!

 

[bracketbuster68]

Hit the gym bro it will change your life, no joke!

Yeah definitely. If you decide you don't want to gun for grades anymore, gun at the gym. Or, do both. I could only pick one

 

[GoToHolmes]

Most professional students have always been gunning for the next step in their career progression. You are now in a terminal degree. For most dental students, this will be the end of the road. Accept it. What comes next is actually working and paying taxes.

Just do your best without burning out. That's all you should expect of yourself.

Big Hoss

Thank you Big Hoss. You've always been a big help

 

[GoToHolmes]

Hit the gym bro it will change your life, no joke!

I already go to the gym but I definitely could do more. Any resources that provide an easy to comprehend regimen? Diet is a big part of getting big, is it not? I've always struggled with that

 

[Rambunctious]

I already go to the gym but I definitely could do more. Any resources that provide an easy to comprehend regimen? Diet is a big part of getting big, is it not? I've always struggled with that

You can do your own research and go down that rabbit hole of online fitness or pay for a personal trainer/nutritionist. Start off your gym with big muscle groups, Back/biceps, chest/tricpes, legs/ abs. Even doing a little everyday will keep you mentally fit as well.

 

[2TH MVR]

I'm about to dump some exposition about **** that's been going on in my current journey through dental school

My entire life up to this point I remember always tryharding to get As in everything. It didn't always work but that was the explicit goal going into any class. There were a lot of reasons for this, a major one being I wanted to keep doors open for me in the future. I kept this mindset all throughout middle school, high school, and undergrad. Now I feel like it's getting in the way of my life in dental school. I do want to keep doors open for myself in case I want to specialize but I don't know if it's worth it to do so when I have not been exposed to any specialty in any real capacity.

A part of me says to keep grinding. To stay indoors doing anki or looking over notes. To try to get into a specialty program and be more than a GP. But it's only a month in and I am already so tired. I could do this in undergrad but the current pace of exams, practicals, quizzes, etc is far beyond what I've experienced up until now. I've been doing well in school but I don't know how long I can keep it up. I either need to let go of being an A student or be destroyed. But I don't know how to let go.

I feel like I have nothing going for me outside of my academics. I am not good looking, I don't have a lot of friends, I don't have a girlfriend, etc. All I've ever been able to do well is score well on tests. I know that Cs get degrees and that I will be a dentist regardless of whether I graduate first in my class or last but that doesn't really make me feel any better about being a mediocre student for the next four years. I feel proud when I do well on exams but there's also a certain safety in it. If I do well in class I never have to worry about people looking down on me for being a bad student. It's not even parental pressure driving me. My parents don't care about my grades so long as I graduate with my DDS. My mom specifically told me that she no longer expects perfection and that she'd be proud of me regardless. At this point "gunning" is just part of my identity.

Anyone come into school with a "I'm gonna be/need to be an A student for specialty apps or personal pride reasons" and then let go of it? Please share your story. Thanks for coming to my ted talk

I always looked at school as a stepping stone to real life. It wasn't about the A's. It's about what the A's will accomplish for me going forward. Get A's in high school can lead to scholarships in undergrad college. Get A's in undergrad can lead to admission to a cheaper dental school. Get A's in dental shool can lead to a specialty residency.

It is with dental school that you need to make a decision. If you have thoughts about specializing .... then you need A's. If your whole goal is to be a great GP ... then A's are probably not that necessary. Don't get me wrong. I strongly believe that a person should always put their best foot forward or give their best effort. But your effort in DS would be better served if you excelled in techniques, procedures, business concepts, marketing, etc. etc.

It's not about the A's. It's about the doors they can open.

 

[chibimoon]

Just came across your post and I just wanna say that I feel exactly the SAME as you do. I've always been an all A student my whole life, and yet one month into dental school I'm feeling so drained and exhausted. I feel like I'm constantly bombarded with exams and quizzes and I have no free time at all. Gross anatomy is the worst right now lol. I've been talking a lot with my family and friends and they're supportive of me just trying my best and no longer draining myself (as in staying up late at night/having no life at all) to try to get all As. I'm pretty much set on being a GP, but a part of me just can't let go of the pride of getting all As. It's really conflicting but I'm trying to get through everything. Right now I'm studying for my dental anatomy midterm and the second gross exam, and I think my goal is just to try my best and not to fail haha. Good luck with dental school! <3

 

[IdleKoala]

I was in the exact same place for a while. For me it just took time, also finishing up D1 year in covid lockdowns really helped a lot lol. Was hard to give any cares to my classes at that point. Do what you need to pass, or get whatever grade you feel you need. If you aren't trying to specialize, then try not to sweat it that much. Focus on doing well in preclinical simlab drilling and filling stuff, it will help your hand skills and make you actually feel like a dentist. Once you get into clinic and start seeing patient, it will enforce the information you actually need to know. Start hobbies outside of school, cooking and gym being a great place to start. Its okay to still care some, that was a big part of your identity for a while, it will take some time to change. Best of luck.

 

[schmoob]

I'm about to dump some exposition about **** that's been going on in my current journey through dental school

My entire life up to this point I remember always tryharding to get As in everything. It didn't always work but that was the explicit goal going into any class. There were a lot of reasons for this, a major one being I wanted to keep doors open for me in the future. I kept this mindset all throughout middle school, high school, and undergrad. Now I feel like it's getting in the way of my life in dental school. I do want to keep doors open for myself in case I want to specialize but I don't know if it's worth it to do so when I have not been exposed to any specialty in any real capacity.

A part of me says to keep grinding. To stay indoors doing anki or looking over notes. To try to get into a specialty program and be more than a GP. But it's only a month in and I am already so tired. I could do this in undergrad but the current pace of exams, practicals, quizzes, etc is far beyond what I've experienced up until now. I've been doing well in school but I don't know how long I can keep it up. I either need to let go of being an A student or be destroyed. But I don't know how to let go.

I feel like I have nothing going for me outside of my academics. I am not good looking, I don't have a lot of friends, I don't have a girlfriend, etc. All I've ever been able to do well is score well on tests. I know that Cs get degrees and that I will be a dentist regardless of whether I graduate first in my class or last but that doesn't really make me feel any better about being a mediocre student for the next four years. I feel proud when I do well on exams but there's also a certain safety in it. If I do well in class I never have to worry about people looking down on me for being a bad student. It's not even parental pressure driving me. My parents don't care about my grades so long as I graduate with my DDS. My mom specifically told me that she no longer expects perfection and that she'd be proud of me regardless. At this point "gunning" is just part of my identity.

Anyone come into school with a "I'm gonna be/need to be an A student for specialty apps or personal pride reasons" and then let go of it? Please share your story. Thanks for coming to my ted talk

Do the best you can but you need to find balance. Eat well, get rest, and have some occasional fun. Unfortunately the work is only going to ramp up from here, just wait until D2. At the beginning of dental school many people want to specialize, (don’t consider it as being “more” than a GP). By the end of school lots of people just want to stay above water and graduate on time and don’t care about specializing anymore.

Some things to remember:
-Being a GP does not necessarily make you not as good as a specialist. I think the top few people I graduated with stayed as GPs even though they could have specialized.
-There is still a lot of money in general dentistry. You get the choice of what procedures you want to do and not do. As for the rest I have specialists come to my office and still get paid for some of the work they do.
-Being a specialist is great. I truly respect them and all of their hard work as well as their skill set and abilities. But not specializing is not considered a failure on your part.
-Work on your self confidence! Hitting the gym is great advice. Don’t worry about not having a girlfriend, it’s not the end of the world. As far as your looks, embrace it because there is nothing you can do about it. Get yourself a few nice clothes and a haircut and you will feel better. We are men, we are stupid and superficial. Women care less about looks. They want someone who is smart, confident, NOT arrogant. Careful because there is a thin line between them. If you have low confidence in yourself then dating will be tough for you. You have already proven your intelligence because you are on the path to becoming a doctor. Confidence isn’t as tough.

Keep us all posted, you got this! It’s a marathon, not a sprint.

 

[omfsing]

 

[PerioDont]

I'm gonna offer a different perspective...I'm not sure how one differentiates studying to get As vs just to pass. Is doing 100 anki cards passing and doing 120 As? Is it going through powerpoints once vs twice? idk.

Personally I could never differentiate. Some exams I studied super hard, thought I would kill and ended up just skirting by. Some I barely studied and got an A. There is definitely curveballs in dental school.

My personal opinion is that you should just try the best you can.

Not because you necessarily will specialize or not but just so that you can be the best dentist you can be.

Note that I am not saying you should not get healthy, try to be balanced etc. I just don't think saying screw it this early on is a good idea. Keep pushing, you may even end up changing your mind about what you want to do in the future. So leaving doors open is not a bad idea.

 

[Saddleshoes]

I just ran across a quote today and thought it might apply to this thread...


"And now that you don't have to be perfect, you can be good."
East of Edan
by J. Steinbeck




(BTW I have found the people I most like to deal with in life, are the good ones, NOT the perfect ones.)

 

[Faefly]

You don't let go of the A, the A lets go of you!

 

[Teeth and Titanite]

Don't prioritize your grades over your mental/physical health of course.

However, as a fellow D1 I want to offer a bit of a different perspective. Yes, dental school is tiring and these past months have been an adjustment. However, whether you barely pass or get straight As/generally go hard, dental school is still going take 4 years. Given that, decide how you want to spend these years. I am of the mind that I definitely want to learn absolutely as much as possible during them, even if that means that I'm dead tired at the end of each day, don't hang out as much with friends, continue being single, etc. If I don't specialize, I want to be practice-ready GP. This is just what I want, not better or worse than what anyone else wants from dental school.

Take some time to figure out what that is for you.

 

[Dr. Anon]

Don’t give up unless you like restorative dentistry

 

[spazway]

Realize that you're in a program with a bunch of other awesome smart people.
There was a (half-) joke I heard a few times that those who get As go into academia but those who get Cs go into the real world and make all the money.

You've heard the phrase that health professionals and those in terminal degrees are "life-long learners," which can often feel so cliche'd that it makes you roll your eyes- but I would recommend, like others have mentioned, to develop the ability to take on other hobbies. Developing fine dexterity can open up a whole lot of crafty hobbies that you'd otherwise never have explored. Or take on something completely different. After dental school you'll have more time to focus on reading for pleasure, or activities that might require some financial investment (e.g. golf) to have fun with, something you may never had the freedom to do before.

 

[Cello]

To try to get into a specialty program and be more than a GP.

What does this mean to you? Does becoming a specialist simply mean adding one more rung to climb on the academic ladder?

 

[8_man]

Give a good effort, learn from your mistakes, and do better the next time. That's all you can really do. Now that I finished dental school, the one thing I can say for certain is that a fair amount of your performance (test scores, practical grades, etc.) is purely luck. Did the "nice" faculty grade your prep? Did you memorize that one extra fact?

Keep working hard and enjoy the process, but if you fall short, don't take it personally.

 

[ysrebob]

"First B of Dental School"

first B of dental school

Hi SDN, This is my first post to SDN as I just opened an account today (long time reader though!). I feel maybe seeking the advice from others on my issue may help. At my school, we are graded on a 10 point scale, and I came out of our waxing course with a B. all my other courses I got As but...

forums.studentdoctor.net

I got an 89.4 or something like that in D1 first semester gross anatomy. First "B" I had seen in many, many years. (But a few more certainly followed.) As others have said, just dust yourself off and move on. Dwelling on disappointment accomplished nothing except to make you unhappy.

Amplifying: a word of advise for anyone who is not dead-set on specializing... dental school will allow (encourage, really) you to apply almost infinite effort to your studies. Consider not succumbing to the temptation to do so. It should be emminently possible to maintain a solid A/B average to satisfy your conscience and, more importantly, get the most out of your clinical classes by working 12-14 hours a day, Monday to Friday, and no more. Aim to take weekends and breaks completely OFF from school. If need be, a B/C average should not disgrace you either. I say this as a hardworking and conscientious person much like yourself, not as a slacker: unless you need to specialize, do not unthinkingly waste the next four years of your life in the pursuit of a meaningless number on a transcript.

Know that your D-school years will likely be the last chance in life you will have to play until you are old. After school will come marriage, children, loan payments and mortgage, church and community obligations, extended family obligations, etc -- for most of us, our middle aged years become a blur of work. At 45ish with family and a practice, my total personal free time amounts to maybe a few days a year. Every other hour belongs to some obligation. Tonight I will be up late working on the group health insurance plan for our office. Tomorrow it will be something else, or there will be some family obligation scheduled.

After you graduate, you will have money. But you will be poor in the only currency that really matters: time. Make the most of it now, while you can, and don't fritter it away in the pursuit of As which will be of no actual worth to you. As a dental student, on our breaks I:
- went on several extended road trips out to the deserts of the southwest in an old Volkswagen camper bus
- drove a motorcycle off-road from New Mexico to Canada, camping along the way
- bicycled around England and Scotland
... these trips have left me some of the best memories of my life and I would not trade anything for them. Certainly not a bump in class rank. None of them cost much money; they only cost TIME, which you can have now but will not be able to put your hands on later. On weekends I hiked a lot, tried to make as many friends as possible outside school, dated a lot, and generally tried to have as much fun as possible.

In the years that have followed I have never once had a need to look back at my D-school transcript, and no longer even remember what my class rank was. What kind of memories could you make in the next four years of weekends? Don't waste the only true wealth you will ever have, TIME.

Summer after D2 year: somewhere in the north of England

 

[Rfrosty]

From the beginning of D1 all the way up to the beginning of my third year, I had the same mentality. Not because I ever planned on specializing, but because I was worried that if I didn't aim to do my best and aim to know all of the information then I would fail. I couldn't stop and it really became a problem. I was lacking sleep, I stopped going to the gym, I felt like I was losing my mind, and I almost never talked to my old friends and family. But when I became a D3 something magical happened, I entered the clinic.

When I entered the clinic I realized one thing. I did NOT KNOW ANYTHING about DOING DENTISTRY at the school or otherwise. I didn't know how to use Axium (I still don't know how to do a ton of things), I didn't know what forms needed to be filled out, I did not know the protocol for getting payments for cash patients, I did not know how to get patients financially cleared to begin expensive treatments (crowns, dentures, etc.), I did not know how to interview a patient without reading the lines off of axium (here's a tip, instead of going through every individual organ system just ask the patient if they have any medical problems. If they say no to all double check the important ones (heart problems, diabetes, infectious diseases, seizures), I did not know how and when to get my notes swiped by faculty and what to get swiped and what didn't matter at all.

Long story short, I spent TWO YEARS in dental school studying various disciplines regarding the human body and the only one's that were important were the one's related to dentistry + head and neck anatomy/pathology. The only other didactic course I would say was useful was systemic pathology because knowing the names of drugs and what they do makes your life way easier and it makes you look more competent to your patients.

What is the takeaway? Almost every course not related to dentistry is not all that useful clinically. However, you have to take the boards examination to get a dental degree. Do you need to get all A's to pass the boards? Probably not. Will they ask you ridiculous questions about minutiae? Probably. Why we have to deal with this is a mystery to me but I'd say a lot of it has to do with money. So what should you do? Know the information in your dental classes like the back of your hand. Really master those classes. Learn the anatomy of the head and neck so when you're giving injections you have an idea of what you need to be careful about NOT hitting and where you should be aiming. Know the pathology that is most relevant. Learn the commonly used drugs (heart meds such as beta blockers, ACE inhibitors, CCB's, as well as antibiotics (although you're usually going to prescribe amoxicillin and if they have allergies clindamycin, and medications for diabetes (metformin and the sulphonylureas like glipizide).

DO NOT waste your time committing useless information like the histologic findings of someone with T-cell lymphoma to long term memory. YOU SHOULD MEMORIZE THEM FOR THE EXAM (CRAM IT IN YOUR HEAD) the day or week before the exam and then promptly forget about it because you do not have the time to commit every bit of information you get to long term memory for the boards exam. There's just too much information unless you happen to be the lucky 1% of the population who can see something once and memorize it forever)

Think about it, when you were studying for the DAT I'm sure there were many little details you forgot about despite knowing the bigger picture. That's why you dedicated a period of time (weeks or months) with dedicated study materials (DAT Destroyer or otherwise) to look over that info again and it likely took less time because you had seen it before.

Let me ask you this, are your grades going to matter outside of dental school? Are you going to brag to your friends who have no idea what dental school is like how you got an A in every single class? Are you going to brag to your classmates about getting an A in every class (trust me, you won't be well-liked in dental school if you do)? Are you gonna tell the women in the bar about how you aced your biochemistry exam by staying up 72 hours straight while ignoring your other responsibilities? PROBABLY NOT. Will it still be annoying when you get a C and know you could get an A if you actually wanted to? Sure, at first. But then you realize that you can sleep at night, you talk to your friends regularly, you see your family more, you're happier, and you have more time for activities that people would actually admire you for being good at and taking pride in.

You might as well check your pride at the door now, because dental school will humble you regardless of how smart you are or think you are. Especially when you get to the clinic and have to deal with unreasonable faculty, unreasonable patients, and unreasonable administrative BS. Getting A's in dental school is only something you should take pride in if it is done ON TOP OF living your life in a way where you're healthy and happy/have a sense of meaning and fulfilling responsibilities to yourself AND your loved ones. Getting all A's in dental school because you dug a hole in the ground and then promptly buried yourself in it is nothing to be proud of. In fact, looking back I'm very ashamed of how many times I blew off the things and people I loved the most for something I cared about the least.

I used to do nothing but school and studying (and when I wasn't studying I was thinking about how I should be studying) and I managed to get those A's. Now I have my weekends off, I go home and cook a nice dinner with a couple of beers after clinic, I talk to my old friends regularly, I see my parents more often, I have better patient interactions because I'm less stressed out, and I get B's. Guess which one I'm sticking with.