How to tell my parents that this is what I want to do?

[xnfs93hy]

I am going to do 6 AP Courses this year (Self Study)
Classes at a CC AND local Univeristy
and am taking honors classes

I have NOT TAKEN the SAT Subject Tests, ACT, or SAT. I have STARTED to prep for the SAT and I think I am going to do very well.

I will be joining three clubs relating to science and math and the environment at my school and hope to continue with that into next year. I also have been volunteering at a hospital this summer and have well over 100 hours under my belt and hope to volunteer at a number of places and tutor elementary school kids and work with special needs kids.

Most importantly, I want to shadow a neurosurgeon. I know for a fact I want to go into the medical field. I am NOT 100% sure about Neurosurgery as I also think Radiology would appeal to me as well. However since Neuro. seems to be what I believe I will end up doing, why not get my foot in the door while I can? The only question is, how can I shadow a neurosurgery? How would I go about it?

Now, you are probably thinking "Alright fine but what is the deal with your topic? What is your question here?". You are going to laugh, or maybe you won't. My parents don't take me seriously, they care about my education but all of these things including the volunteering I did Independently. I literally called up the Volunteer office and was on the phone for ten minutes, my mom and I went to an Orientation I filled out all the paperwork and that was that. They keep telling me to think of other careers that don't take years of schooling and to apply to other colleges other than NYU. It really aggravates the hell out of me. What is so wrong with trying to build myself up into something and busting my ass NOW so I can get into Cornell and Vanderbilt and NYU and get into Dartmouth Medical, get matched into so and so residency, etc.? How can I make them understand that this is what I want to do?

The only thing that really gets on my nerves is that they tell all their friends and stuff that I want to be a "Brain Surgeon" and want to get into schools that are impossible to get into. Then they start talking about how their kid goes to so and so university and then my parents tell me the next weekend that they were talking to so and so and that their kid goes to so and so college and wants to design computer games and how I should go there and how good their medical program is.

Ultimately, am I really aiming too high? I mean, I'm doing the best I can and my parent's are trying to discourage me. Should I just give up my goal and choose something else?

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[ylrebmik]

I want to be a veterinarian. I decided this my sophmore year in high school. (I'm a senior now)

Parents don't agree with me being a veterinarian... waste of money when I could make twice as much taking care of less species if I went into human medicine. They are begging me to become a pediatrician.

Basically, it's been two years and my parents still don't like my decision but "support me"... but "would support me more if I go into human medical". haha. It is a huge downer when your own parents aren't behind you. However, if it is something you really want to do... then go for it.. don't give up on your dreams because your parents don't like your decision. It's your choice where to go to college. It's your choice what career you want. You'll have a lot of people encouraging you and backing you up and you have a whole network behind you of people on here in med school now or not yet that have gone through the same things. Aiming to high to become a nuerosurgeon... no!

haha you might kill yourself going to school full time at high school, taking 6 AP courses on the side, going to a CC on the side, and going to a university on the side, doing ECs, volunteering, shadowing,... yeah you might want to smash your head against the wall.

Seriously, as much as I want to be a veterinarian and am confident that I'll get there, I still keep my options open... right now I'm working at a hospital as a nutrition aide and will be a nursing assistant in 2 months... just keeping my options open in the medical field making dang certain that this is what I want to do... and hey, it's my senior year. Besides, everyone always tells me that "Hey, you're in high school: Relax, do things that interest you in high school and have fun." So try not to defeat yourself like I did last year... stay on top... get good grades... do extra, unique things... and have fun. Oh, and don't give up on your dreams. Your parents will come around. When I call my parents some day and tell them that I just got to do surgery on an african elephant... they'll come around and realize I have the greatest career and they'll support me.

You're always going to have discouragements and people telling you that you can't do certain things... don't give on your goals... just spit in their face and keep doing your thing. haha jk but don't give up until you know that this is not what you want to do.

 

[Dontae92]

I think I see where your parents are coming from . they don't want to see you set your dreams high and not fulfill them. when you talk to them about don't go into everything(ie.neuro or anything md related). just talk about college and when your there you can figure out what you want to do. You sound very ambitious and they probably know that. Just let them know how you feel. how you say its frustrating and how you really could use some support. as said above your parents will still support somewhat because you're their child.

 

[xnfs93hy]

I want to be a veterinarian. I decided this my sophmore year in high school. (I'm a senior now)

Parents don't agree with me being a veterinarian... waste of money when I could make twice as much taking care of less species if I went into human medicine. They are begging me to become a pediatrician.

Basically, it's been two years and my parents still don't like my decision but "support me"... but "would support me more if I go into human medical". haha. It is a huge downer when your own parents aren't behind you. However, if it is something you really want to do... then go for it.. don't give up on your dreams because your parents don't like your decision. It's your choice where to go to college. It's your choice what career you want. You'll have a lot of people encouraging you and backing you up and you have a whole network behind you of people on here in med school now or not yet that have gone through the same things. Aiming to high to become a nuerosurgeon... no!

haha you might kill yourself going to school full time at high school, taking 6 AP courses on the side, going to a CC on the side, and going to a university on the side, doing ECs, volunteering, shadowing,... yeah you might want to smash your head against the wall.

Seriously, as much as I want to be a veterinarian and am confident that I'll get there, I still keep my options open... right now I'm working at a hospital as a nutrition aide and will be a nursing assistant in 2 months... just keeping my options open in the medical field making dang certain that this is what I want to do... and hey, it's my senior year. Besides, everyone always tells me that "Hey, you're in high school: Relax, do things that interest you in high school and have fun." So try not to defeat yourself like I did last year... stay on top... get good grades... do extra, unique things... and have fun. Oh, and don't give up on your dreams. Your parents will come around. When I call my parents some day and tell them that I just got to do surgery on an african elephant... they'll come around and realize I have the greatest career and they'll support me.

You're always going to have discouragements and people telling you that you can't do certain things... don't give on your goals... just spit in their face and keep doing your thing. haha jk but don't give up until you know that this is not what you want to do.

Thanks for the support. You get paid being a aide and will be a nurses assistant soon? That's awesome, I have looked into volunteering as a paramedic but am still unsure about that.

 

[ylrebmik]

I know a few pre-med people have talked about an EMT program. It's good money and good experience for your undergrad. You could consider that.

Yeahh I get paid awesome money to practically do nothing. Great high school job.

 

[happytograduate]

I am going to do 6 AP Courses this year (Self Study)
Classes at a CC AND local Univeristy
and am taking honors classes

I have NOT TAKEN the SAT Subject Tests, ACT, or SAT. I have STARTED to prep for the SAT and I think I am going to do very well.

I will be joining three clubs relating to science and math and the environment at my school and hope to continue with that into next year. I also have been volunteering at a hospital this summer and have well over 100 hours under my belt and hope to volunteer at a number of places and tutor elementary school kids and work with special needs kids.

Most importantly, I want to shadow a neurosurgeon. I know for a fact I want to go into the medical field. I am NOT 100% sure about Neurosurgery as I also think Radiology would appeal to me as well. However since Neuro. seems to be what I believe I will end up doing, why not get my foot in the door while I can? The only question is, how can I shadow a neurosurgery? How would I go about it?

Now, you are probably thinking "Alright fine but what is the deal with your topic? What is your question here?". You are going to laugh, or maybe you won't. My parents don't take me seriously, they care about my education but all of these things including the volunteering I did Independently. I literally called up the Volunteer office and was on the phone for ten minutes, my mom and I went to an Orientation I filled out all the paperwork and that was that. They keep telling me to think of other careers that don't take years of schooling and to apply to other colleges other than NYU. It really aggravates the hell out of me. What is so wrong with trying to build myself up into something and busting my ass NOW so I can get into Cornell and Vanderbilt and NYU and get into Dartmouth Medical, get matched into so and so residency, etc.? How can I make them understand that this is what I want to do?

The only thing that really gets on my nerves is that they tell all their friends and stuff that I want to be a "Brain Surgeon" and want to get into schools that are impossible to get into. Then they start talking about how their kid goes to so and so university and then my parents tell me the next weekend that they were talking to so and so and that their kid goes to so and so college and wants to design computer games and how I should go there and how good their medical program is.

Ultimately, am I really aiming too high? I mean, I'm doing the best I can and my parent's are trying to discourage me. Should I just give up my goal and choose something else?

Ok first of all STOP!! I took all AP and Honors courses in high school, worked very hard to make good grades, and was an all around nerd, and I think even then I wasn't as high strung (some may say anal retentive) as your are. Although you seem like a nice and sincere person.

I mean seriously you're in high school and already set on Dartmouth Medical School and deciding which residency you're going to do?!?!? One thing at a time!!!! Your first goal should be getting into a good undergraduate university. If you don't take things one at a time SERIOUSLY, you will end up needing to be admitted to a psych ward with all that unnecessary stress you're letting building up from a small snowball to a huge avalanche.. There's a reason when it comes to why education is separated: Elementary, Middle, High School, Undergraduate, and Graduate school to deal with one at a time.

First of all, you're going to change your mind a million times about what you are interested and why you are interested in it (and I was interested in and did medicine as well). Not to mention, to get into medical school you can do ANY undergraduate degree. For example, you can do a Business Finance degree and at the same time finish your premed requirements. Premed is not a major and so you have to do an actual undergrad degree.

Ok, first off, the reason your parents are telling you to apply to more colleges that just NYU is so you don't put ALL your eggs in one basket (which is SMART). No one says, I want to go to Harvard, and only applies to Harvard. That's stupidity. Most people apply to 10-15 colleges.

I don't know about specifically shadowing a Neurosurgeon (as I don't know which one would let you), but the main objective to right now with respect to shadowing a doctor is to find out that you do in fact like the medical field and not just because you're attracted to it because of the money (because there are tons of other fields that do make a six figure salary - investment banking for example), not to mention with the likely passing of Universal Healthcare in some shape or form, doctors' salaries will be going down anyways. For example, do you like learning the enormous science behind it such as the interaction of Physiology, Pathology, etc. or is this just a money ticket for you. It's ok, if you admit you are looking at it from a money standpoint, but BE HONEST.

#2, First off, you need to concentrate on doing well on the SAT and 3 SAT Subject exams: Writing, a Math, and usually one Science as many top notch universities require 3 SAT IIs.

The point is one thing at a time and for the love of God, stop this comparing yourself to other kids. Parents always do it, and sometimes kids feel like they don't want to be an embarrassment to their parents in front of their friends, but the truth is, to put it bluntly: You're not as important to other people as you think you are and I mean it in a good way. If your parents are bragging to other parents it's no big deal (are they telling their friends exactly phrased "My son is wanting to go to schools that are impossible to go to"?) if not then, it means they are proud of you for having huge goals. All parents know that kids dreams and ambitions change and its fun to talk about. You haven't even taken any standardized exams yet so its hard to say what schools are at your level anyways.

My point is CALM DOWN. One thing at a time.

Your first goal right now (I'm assuming you're a 10th or 11th grader) is to make stellar grades and prepare well for your standardized exams: SAT, SAT II, and any AP exams you take. Also expand on your extracurriculars and winning awards by being involved in activities consistently (like Speech and Debate). By doing this and doing well on standardized exams that will help you get into good colleges AFTER which you can start the Premed chaos. Right now it is too early, as any medical experiences you do now don't count by the time you apply to medical schools as they only want what you did in undergrad.

 

[Tachymeter]

Ok first of all STOP!! I took all AP courses in high school, worked hard to make good grades, and was an all around nerd, and I think even then I wasn't as high strung (some may say anal retentive) as your are. Although you seem like a nice and sincere person.

I mean seriously you're in high school and already set on Dartmouth Medical School and deciding which residency you're going to do?!?!? One thing at a time!!!! If you don't SERIOUSLY, you will end up needing to be admitted to a psych ward with all that unnecessary stress you're building up. There's a reason when it comes to why education is separated: Elementary, Middle, High School, Undergraduate, and Graduate school.

First of all, you're going to change your mind a million times (and I was 100% set on medicine too). Not to mention to get into medical school you can do ANY undergradutate degree. For example you can do a Business Finance degree and at the same time finish your premed requirements. Premed is not a major and so you have to do an actual undergrad degree.

Ok, first off, the reason your parents are telling you to apply to more colleges that just NYU is so you don't put ALL your eggs in one basket (which is SMART).

I don't know about specifically shadowing a Neurosurgeon (as I don't know which one would let you), but shadowing a doctor is a good start to find out that you do in fact like the medical field and not just because of the money (because there are tons of other fields that do make a six figure salary - investment banking for example), not to mention with the likely passing of Universal Healthcare in some shape or form, doctors' salaries will be going down anyways.

#2, You need to concentrate on doing well on the SAT and 3 SAT Subject exams: Writing, a Math, and usually one Science.

The point is one thing at a time and for the love of God, stop this comparing yourself to other kids. Parents always do it, and sometimes kids feel like they don't want to be an embarrassment to their parents in front of their friends, but the truth is, to put it bluntly: You're not as important to other people as you think you are and I mean it in a good way. If your parents are bragging to other parents it's no big deal (are they telling their friends exactly phrased "My son is wanting to go to schools that are impossible to go to"?) if not then, it means they are proud of you for having huge goals. All parents know that kids dreams and ambitions change and its fun to talk about. You haven't even taken any standardized exams yet so its hard to say what schools are at your level anyways.

My point is CALM DOWN. One thing at a time.

Your first goal right now (I'm assuming you're a 10th or 11th grader) is to make stellar grades and prepare well for your standardized exams: SAT, SAT II, and any AP exams you take. Also expand on your extracurriculars and winning awards by being involved in activities consistently (like Speech and Debate). By doing this and doing well on standardized exams that will help you get into good colleges AFTER which you can start the Premed chaos. Right now it is too early, as any medical experiences you do now don't count by the time you apply to medical schools as they only want what you did in undergrad.

What he said.


Seriously you guys are in highschool try not to burn yourself out so soon.

 

[HumidBeing]

One problem with setting up this super pressure schedule for yourself is that if you are trying to do the CC and university courses in addition to your high school classes, plus your self-studying, you run a great risk of not doing as well on each individual course as you would have had you decided to concentrate your efforts and do very well on less.

Those CC and university course grades are going to wind up being averaged into your GPA when you apply to professional school. If you spread yourself too thinly, you will not be able to do as well in them as you would otherwise.

You certainly don't need to try to self-study for 6 AP tests if you're taking dual enrollment courses. Just take the courses and get the college credit directly.

You also mentioned looking into volunteering to be a paramedic. That's not something you can just go out and do. There is a long, and in most states, expensive training course involved. It's not the type of course a person can take with the activity list you have set out.

You CAN get where it you want to wind up, but the way you're planning on going about it may make it less likely to happen.

 

[xnfs93hy]

I just don't want to wind up going to a crappy college. Of course no one apply's to only one college! I am applying to a bunch. Cornell and Dartmouth being the possible Ivy Leagues I am looking at. I want to make sure I have a GOOD chance at those, because if I have a good chance at a couple Ivies I will probably get into most of the colleges and universities I will be applying to that are a notch lower in terms of competitiveness. If I can get into NYU I'd probably piss myself I'd be so happy.

 

[HumidBeing]

We also want you to have your best chance at achieving your dreams.

You have a better chance of reaching them by doing less than what you are planning, and doing that extremely well and enthusiastically, than you would by spreading yourself too thinly and not shining in the individual endeavors.

 

[Narmerguy]

You're trying to do too much with too little time. Listen to Humid, you are at great risk of underperforming in everything you're trying to do rather than doing great at fewer.

I would drop the AP self study. If you're dead set on ivy education you need to nail your SAT/ACT. I'd devote that time to preparing for that instead.

Also, take a step back. I was a lot like you, thinking of residencies and med schools and what not during high school but believe me, it's not helpful to your performance. Your best way of achieving those aspirations is letting them stay in the future and focusing on what's in front of you. You need to focus on 1) High School and 2) Undergrad admissions. The rest will come in due time.

You seem very motivated which is good. Just make sure you don't try to do more than is necessary and probably healthy.

 

[Thrombomodulin]

.

 

[MilkmanAl]

I just don't want to wind up going to a crappy college.

So don't apply to "crappy colleges." College is largely what you make of it anyway, so even if you do wind up at a "crappy college," you can get just as much out of your course work as if you'd sold your soul to Princeton for four years or something. Many ridiculously gunner-ish highschoolers draw a false dichotomy between the huge powerhouse schools like Harvard, Yale, Stanford, etc. and everything else. I assure you there are many, many schools that will give you a world-class education that will prepare you admirably for med school.

Like others said, don't get so caught up in going to med school that you forget to have fun and grow personally. The last thing we need is another socially inept, closeted physician running around robotically cranking out diagnoses. It's great to have goals, but don't lose the forest for the trees.

 

[sle3pyguii]

Chill out.


If you try to do too much, you'll ruin your social life. I'm not saying that going out with your friends every time they invite you is better than studying (which it isn't), but don't try to do so much that you ostricize yourself. Your social life is what keeps you sane. You'll have LOTS of time to study like mad and have almost no social life once you hit medical school.


Till then, have some fun: Go play some Halo. Go pre-order some SC2 or D3. (If you wanna be a surgeon, video games will help your dexterity.)

 

[xnfs93hy]

Chill out.


If you try to do too much, you'll ruin your social life. I'm not saying that going out with your friends every time they invite you is better than studying (which it isn't), but don't try to do so much that you ostricize yourself. Your social life is what keeps you sane. You'll have LOTS of time to study like mad and have almost no social life once you hit medical school.


Till then, have some fun: Go play some Halo. Go pre-order some SC2 or D3. (If you wanna be a surgeon, video games will help your dexterity.)

I play video games, my dexterity is still not that great, I think I'm fine though. As far as social life goes, I've never had one and I am the farthest thing from a good looking guy, If I were a female I wouldn't date myself. I have looked at a few girls in my school but I could never muster the courage to go right up to them, they aren't hot either but they are really nice, even THEY probably thing I'm a loser. Yeah, having a work life and no social life sucks but you know, at this point I just don't even care anymore because no one likes me. I just want to get straight A's these next two years and go to NYU, maybe I will find a girl there. I see where you are coming from though but believe me, my school is very cliquey, everyone has their own "Group". I fall into the group of smart, nerdy, nice people who have money, dress nice and average looking but will never get laid.

 

[xnfs93hy]

It would be nice to have a girlfriend though..

 

[marina1285]

I play video games, my dexterity is still not that great, I think I'm fine though. As far as social life goes, I've never had one and I am the farthest thing from a good looking guy, If I were a female I wouldn't date myself. I have looked at a few girls in my school but I could never muster the courage to go right up to them, they aren't hot either but they are really nice, even THEY probably thing I'm a loser. Yeah, having a work life and no social life sucks but you know, at this point I just don't even care anymore because no one likes me. I just want to get straight A's these next two years and go to NYU, maybe I will find a girl there. I see where you are coming from though but believe me, my school is very cliquey, everyone has their own "Group". I fall into the group of smart, nerdy, nice people who have money, dress nice and average looking but will never get laid.

I'll give you two pieces of advice... one on school and one on dating/girls.

1. School: you need to chill out ... save all that energy for college!! I mean, yes... it's extremely important to do well and get accepted into a good school. But I know plenty of people who went to their state schools and still got into those "name brand" medical schools. When it really comes down to it the factors that matter most are your college GPA and MCAT (provided you have some clinical experience/research as well)
You are in HIGHSCHOOL!!! Go play on the playground (I mean this because I wish I could play on one right now instead of studying for my biochem exam ) and enjoy your life because once you get into college it's about 10000000000 times harder. You are going to burn out, it's sooo much. My first two years of college I spent 14 hours a day in a library to get that 3.8. It's just that life is so short and this major/career sucks the life out of you.

2. Girls and dating: you know what girls like... CONFIDENCE!!! it's not about looks silly! Most high school girls are catty little snobs, I know because I used to be one don't worry in college we realize we want the smart, sophisticate ones. mainly because we get bored of the whole dumb jock thing.

3. I know I said two pieces of advice but I thought of a third... GET OFF SDN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! it's like crack and you've discovered it at such a long age. I'm so happy I didn't discover it until my soph year of college.

take care of yourself and please take it easy, you are going to kill yourself... you seem very ambitious and intelligent but don't turn into a drone. enjoy life, your only given one.

 

[Electrophile]

No one likes you probably not because of your looks but because you're too intense. I think others are right, I think if you're like this in person as you are here, I could see you coming off as a bit of arse. No offense, just too uptight and tense. It seems from your posts that you have a lot you want to try to prove. We haven't heard WHY you want to be a neurosurgeon, other than mentions of the $$ and the respect that you'll (maybe) get from your parents and peers. One of my vet med school classmates has a sign taped to her binder that says "one day at a time!" I think this is VERY important at each and every stage of the game. In my experience, vet (or med) school is harder than grad school which was harder than undergrad which was harder than high school. Pace yourself. Have goals (I'm a big fan of having a 1, 5, and 10 year goals), but live in the now too.

In regards to your looks, what do you not like? Feel free to post or PM me pics if you'd like suggestions. Don't like your hair? Get a different haircut (go to a styling salon to get a female's opinion) or use different products. Got acne? Eat right and go see a dermatologist. Don't like your body? Go get in shape and eat right. A lot of us girls don't need or want a muscle bound *****, but being in good shape sure doesn't hurt. Your style isn't working for you? Especially when you graduate high school and are heading off to college, do yourself a favor and spend a couple hundred of your graduation money on some stuff that is hard to go wrong with, like nice polo and button down shirts, not just sloppy t-shirts and jeans all the time or whatever. You don't need to spend $200 on DKNY jeans or $50 on an Armani Exchange shirt or always look like a frat boy clone (God knows there are enough of those), but you should decently well put together. Should go without saying, but I know how some high school guys are about not showering every day and eating like crap. It's not about being superficial or spending hundreds of dollars on styling products or clothes a month, but taking care of yourself.

High school relationships, while I had them, are fairly pointless anyways. Don't take them too seriously. Like marina1285 said, girls like guys with a lot of confidence. And not a-hole confidence, but self assuredness type of confidence. Especially if you like smart, assertive girls (you know, the same kinds that will be in your pre-med classes in a couple years). Strong, smart women tend to like even stronger (I don't mean just physically), well-rounded men. Men wonder why women like jerks. I guess evolutionarily, the jerky kind of guys were the most likely to defend territory and had the most access to breeding rights. However, that being said, jerky guys are a huge pain to deal with and I ended up marrying a really nice all around guy. So this doesn't mean you need to be a jerk, but being a well-balanced, well-read smart confident guy who likes a lot of different things will be appealing to girls, even if you just have mediocre looks.

 

[xnfs93hy]

 

[marina1285]

is that you? well your a cutie... you just need a new haircut. and I agree with the above poster, when I was in high schools I would have been intimidated by someone who was so uptight. Loosen up! Oh and ps. you will change your mind 238429384719387 million times as to what kind of doctor you want to be. I thought I wanted to be a optometrist, then I wanted to be a surgeon, then a psychiatrist... then finally I applied to dental school so just let life take you where it wills.

 

[xnfs93hy]

is that you? well your a cutie... you just need a new haircut. and I agree with the above poster, when I was in high schools I would have been intimidated by someone who was so uptight. Loosen up! Oh and ps. you will change your mind 238429384719387 million times as to what kind of doctor you want to be. I thought I wanted to be a optometrist, then I wanted to be a surgeon, then a psychiatrist... then finally I applied to dental school so just let life take you where it wills.

Haha thanks. I just don't want to go to a bad college and I haven't really proven that I am qualified to get into NYU (Top Pick School on my list). I am taking all honors and two AP's this year and will do the same next year and have a 3.5 hopefully, or maybe better. I agree with you on not being dead set on one specialty, neurosurgery pays very well but you get to work on the brain and I think that is fascinating, but who knows I might change my mind ten times, most people do. It just annoys the hell out of me when my parent's tell me to apply places I don't want to go, they are discouraging me from applying to the University of Maryland! I have a total of 15 schools ranging from NYU down to Rutgers and they still want me to aim lower, I'm not doing dual enrollment, 24 hours a week at the hospital to get into the University of Crapsville. I'm from NJ too BTW

 

[xnfs93hy]

Haha thanks. I just don't want to go to a bad college and I haven't really proven that I am qualified to get into NYU (Top Pick School on my list). I am taking all honors and two AP's this year and will do the same next year and have a 3.5 hopefully, or maybe better. I agree with you on not being dead set on one specialty, neurosurgery pays very well but you get to work on the brain and I think that is fascinating, but who knows I might change my mind ten times, most people do. It just annoys the hell out of me when my parent's tell me to apply places I don't want to go, they are discouraging me from applying to the University of Maryland! I have a total of 15 schools ranging from NYU down to Rutgers and they still want me to aim lower, I'm not doing dual enrollment, 24 hours a week at the hospital to get into the University of Crapsville. I'm from NJ too BTW

Just for the heck of it I'll post the schools I want to get into:

NYU
Georgia Tech
Case Western Reserve University
Penn State-University Park
University of Florida
University of Illinois-Urbana-Champaign
University of Washington
University of Maryland-College Park
Boston University
Ohio State University-Columbus
Rutgers-New Brunswick
Purdue University
TCNJ
Virginia Tech
University of Kentucky

 

[marina1285]

Haha thanks. I just don't want to go to a bad college and I haven't really proven that I am qualified to get into NYU (Top Pick School on my list). I am taking all honors and two AP's this year and will do the same next year and have a 3.5 hopefully, or maybe better. I agree with you on not being dead set on one specialty, neurosurgery pays very well but you get to work on the brain and I think that is fascinating, but who knows I might change my mind ten times, most people do. It just annoys the hell out of me when my parent's tell me to apply places I don't want to go, they are discouraging me from applying to the University of Maryland! I have a total of 15 schools ranging from NYU down to Rutgers and they still want me to aim lower, I'm not doing dual enrollment, 24 hours a week at the hospital to get into the University of Crapsville. I'm from NJ too BTW

I go to Rutgers... it's an excellent school with a very competitive science department. Rutgers was my first choice... you know why? because it's CHEAP... do you know how much Medical school costs? it is in your best interest to not waste money on your undergrad degree... it matters very little where it is at, when it comes down to it its mostly about the numbers and the EC's. I don't know if your parents are rich or not, I guess if you want to go to NYU your parents must be loaded that school is ridic overpriced. Are they going to pay for Med school too? Anyways, just dont worry so much, like I said before enjoy your life. Sometimes I look back at my life and think of all the years I wasted in a library learning this crap when I could have been out drinking beers and flirting with frat boys. at least I partied it up in high school somewhat.. that's all I have to look back and smile at... it would be very unfortunate if you don't even have that.

 

[xnfs93hy]

I go to Rutgers... it's an excellent school with a very competitive science department. Rutgers was my first choice... you know why? because it's CHEAP... do you know how much Medical school costs? it is in your best interest to not waste money on your undergrad degree... it matters very little where it is at, when it comes down to it its mostly about the numbers and the EC's. I don't know if your parents are rich or not, I guess if you want to go to NYU your parents must be loaded that school is ridic overpriced. Are they going to pay for Med school too? Anyways, just dont worry so much, like I said before enjoy your life. Sometimes I look back at my life and think of all the years I wasted in a library learning this crap when I could have been out drinking beers and flirting with frat boys. at least I partied it up in high school somewhat.. that's all I have to look back and smile at... it would be very unfortunate if you don't even have that.

Yeah I think I'd be a shoe in a Rutgers it is a great school. My parents aren't rich but they have saved up around $200k, they basically said they can afford to put through four years just about anywhere. Any money left over will be for medical school. If I went to Rutgers then that would really help me out financially because that is four years UG and half of med school that my parents paid for me and I walk out 100k in debt which I can pay off easily during my residency. I really want to go to NYU though because it is right in the middle of Manhattan and there is so many things you can do because everything is right there and when I'm 21 I can just walk down the street to a bar or w.e you know haha.

 

[kdburton]

This is long, so bear with me...First of all, at this point you should set your sites on getting into whatever undergrad school you're interested in and not thinking about how that will correlate with what neurosurgery residency you're going to get into. While it may be true that certain undergrad institutions are going to be more "attractive" than others in the eyes of a medical school admissions committee (and to a lesser extent certain top-tier medical schools may be more "attractive" to some residency directors when you eventually are applying for residency), you probably aren't going to see much of a difference at all if you're coming out of top-tier undergrad or another. Furthermore there are plenty of kids going to state schools who get into top medical schools, so its not like you're going to SOL if you don't get into NYU. Make sure that if you're taking classes at a CC or University that you keep in mind that these grades will be reported to the medical schools through your AMCAS application and similarly there may be a difference in the ways that individual medical schools look at AP credits. While I took a CC class that ended up being about on par with my high school english class back in the day, there are some people who aren't ready to be serious and take a college-level class and perform as well as they want to. Once you get into the undergrad of your dreams then you can spend some time doing extracurricular activities that will simultaneously broaden your experiences and help you get into medical school. Shadowing a neurosurgeon when you are in HS is probably not something that you will end up putting on your AMCAS application a few years from now, because in general you don't list activities that you did prior to undergrad. As someone else pointed out you don't have to do a stereotypically "pre-med" major like biochem, bio, chem, etc to get into medical school - and for some people if you aren't capable of doing well in one of those majors then it will actually put you at a disadvantage come the time you apply to med school. I personally went to a top 20 business program for undergrad. It was probably easier than doing a biochem major, so my grades were strong. Also having a business background will definitely help me out when I graduate from med school because many doctors have no business background (and unfortunately it seems that scientific knowledge doesn't exactly correlate with common sense either). So chose your major not because you think it will help you become a neurosurgeon, but because you will enjoy it and excel in it. Also don't spread yourself too thin (both now and when you're in college). Med schools like to see well-rounded applicants and if all you did was prepare to be a doctor your whole life then you're not well-rounded. Finally, about your parents. Unless they are 100% funding your education and you refuse to go your own, then it doesn't really matter what they say. I have a feeling that when you get your acceptance letter to whatever college you end up getting into they are going to be supportive (as they should). Once college starts you'll become more independent anyways and your parents will realize that you're taking the reigns and you're being successful as you do it - they're likely to take your goals more seriously and stop comparing you to their friends kids who didn't want to become doctors in the first place. What it comes down to is what you want to do with the rest of your life - not what your parents want for the rest of your life. This is the polar opposite situation of the kids with physician parents who force them into medicine and then they fail out of medical school or graduate and then become talent agents, bankers, or consultants, etc because they just did it to please their parents. Don't be that guy - be yourself. /advice

 

[xnfs93hy]

I go to Rutgers... it's an excellent school with a very competitive science department. Rutgers was my first choice... you know why? because it's CHEAP... do you know how much Medical school costs? it is in your best interest to not waste money on your undergrad degree... it matters very little where it is at, when it comes down to it its mostly about the numbers and the EC's. I don't know if your parents are rich or not, I guess if you want to go to NYU your parents must be loaded that school is ridic overpriced. Are they going to pay for Med school too? Anyways, just dont worry so much, like I said before enjoy your life. Sometimes I look back at my life and think of all the years I wasted in a library learning this crap when I could have been out drinking beers and flirting with frat boys. at least I partied it up in high school somewhat.. that's all I have to look back and smile at... it would be very unfortunate if you don't even have that.

Yes. Like $50,000 a year, unfortunately.

 

[xnfs93hy]

This is long, so bear with me...First of all, at this point you should set your sites on getting into whatever undergrad school you're interested in and not thinking about how that will correlate with what neurosurgery residency you're going to get into. While it may be true that certain undergrad institutions are going to be more "attractive" than others in the eyes of a medical school admissions committee (and to a lesser extent certain top-tier medical schools may be more "attractive" to some residency directors when you eventually are applying for residency), you probably aren't going to see much of a difference at all if you're coming out of top-tier undergrad or another. Furthermore there are plenty of kids going to state schools who get into top medical schools, so its not like you're going to SOL if you don't get into NYU. Make sure that if you're taking classes at a CC or University that you keep in mind that these grades will be reported to the medical schools through your AMCAS application and similarly there may be a difference in the ways that individual medical schools look at AP credits. While I took a CC class that ended up being about on par with my high school english class back in the day, there are some people who aren't ready to be serious and take a college-level class and perform as well as they want to. Once you get into the undergrad of your dreams then you can spend some time doing extracurricular activities that will simultaneously broaden your experiences and help you get into medical school. Shadowing a neurosurgeon when you are in HS is probably not something that you will end up putting on your AMCAS application a few years from now, because in general you don't list activities that you did prior to undergrad. As someone else pointed out you don't have to do a stereotypically "pre-med" major like biochem, bio, chem, etc to get into medical school - and for some people if you aren't capable of doing well in one of those majors then it will actually put you at a disadvantage come the time you apply to med school. I personally went to a top 20 business program for undergrad. It was probably easier than doing a biochem major, so my grades were strong. Also having a business background will definitely help me out when I graduate from med school because many doctors have no business background (and unfortunately it seems that scientific knowledge doesn't exactly correlate with common sense either). So chose your major not because you think it will help you become a neurosurgeon, but because you will enjoy it and excel in it. Also don't spread yourself too thin (both now and when you're in college). Med schools like to see well-rounded applicants and if all you did was prepare to be a doctor your whole life then you're not well-rounded. Finally, about your parents. Unless they are 100% funding your education and you refuse to go your own, then it doesn't really matter what they say. I have a feeling that when you get your acceptance letter to whatever college you end up getting into they are going to be supportive (as they should). Once college starts you'll become more independent anyways and your parents will realize that you're taking the reigns and you're being successful as you do it - they're likely to take your goals more seriously and stop comparing you to their friends kids who didn't want to become doctors in the first place. What it comes down to is what you want to do with the rest of your life - not what your parents want for the rest of your life. This is the polar opposite situation of the kids with physician parents who force them into medicine and then they fail out of medical school or graduate and then become talent agents, bankers, or consultants, etc because they just did it to please their parents. Don't be that guy - be yourself. /advice

What else should I be doing to be "well rounded" for NYU. I thought I should be focusing on things like:

-Tutoring little kids
-Volunteering at the medical center
-Doing a number of things to help mentally handicapped kids
-Shadowing a number of different doc's
-Internships

and pulling straight A's. On top of that, acing my SAT, ACT, and subject test, writing an awesome essay, and getting great LOR's. What the hell else am I supposed to be doing to be well rounded . I thought I should be focusing on showing these adcoms at top schools that I mean business and I don't spend my time after school smoking weed.

 

[kdburton]

What else should I be doing to be "well rounded" for NYU. I thought I should be focusing on things like:

-Tutoring little kids
-Volunteering at the medical center
-Doing a number of things to help mentally handicapped kids
-Shadowing a number of different doc's
-Internships

and pulling straight A's. On top of that, acing my SAT, ACT, and subject test, writing an awesome essay, and getting great LOR's. What the hell else am I supposed to be doing to be well rounded . I thought I should be focusing on showing these adcoms at top schools that I mean business and I don't spend my time after school smoking weed.

Are you talking about going to NYU for undergrad or for medical school? If you're just talking about undergrad then it sound like you're doing what you're supposed to be doing - getting good grades, preparing for SAT/ACT, etc. If you're talking about medical school then the application process is much more stringent. When it comes time to apply for medical schools its useful to realize that EVERYONE HAS GOOD GRADES, GOOD MCAT SCORES, VOLUNTEERED, HAS DONE RESEARCH, etc. You are not "well-rounded" if you only do the things that you think the admissions committees like to see. Experiences between people can very a lot, but you should have something unique about yourself that other people applying to medical school don't have on average. For me? I was the marketing coordinator and credit analyst for the 4th biggest newspaper in my state. I was an avid snowboarder, active in a fraternity (with multiple leadership positions), and I also had many other interests outside of school (fishing, hunting, camping, blah blah blah) that I wouldn't have otherwise been able to talk about if i spent all of my free time in undergrad volunteering and shadowing. You need to show them that you've taken the time to explore the medical field so they know that you know what you're getting into (this is where the shadowing/volunteering in the medical field comes in), but they also need to know that you're not a robot. Being well-rounded doesn't mean that your time spend outside of school and school-related activities is bad (i.e. smoking weed after class as you've put it), but its also a good thing to show them that you're interested in other things than medicine and possibly that you've even taken a look at other career options by doing something else during undergrad as well. Besides volunteering in an ER for 4 hours/wk for a year, having peripheral involvement in a psychology study, and working as a nursing assistant in my year off between undergrad and med school I didn't have tons of medical experience. But it was obviously clear to the admissions committee that I'd thought about my career choice (going into medicine) and that I'd done the work necessary to prove I'd be successful in medical school.

 

[xnfs93hy]

Are you talking about going to NYU for undergrad or for medical school? If you're just talking about undergrad then it sound like you're doing what you're supposed to be doing - getting good grades, preparing for SAT/ACT, etc. If you're talking about medical school then the application process is much more stringent. When it comes time to apply for medical schools its useful to realize that EVERYONE HAS GOOD GRADES, GOOD MCAT SCORES, VOLUNTEERED, HAS DONE RESEARCH, etc. You are not "well-rounded" if you only do the things that you think the admissions committees like to see. Experiences between people can very a lot, but you should have something unique about yourself that other people applying to medical school don't have on average. For me? I was the marketing coordinator and credit analyst for the 4th biggest newspaper in my state. I was an avid snowboarder, active in a fraternity (with multiple leadership positions), and I also had many other interests outside of school (fishing, hunting, camping, blah blah blah) that I wouldn't have otherwise been able to talk about if i spent all of my free time in undergrad volunteering and shadowing. You need to show them that you've taken the time to explore the medical field so they know that you know what you're getting into (this is where the shadowing/volunteering in the medical field comes in), but they also need to know that you're not a robot. Being well-rounded doesn't mean that your time spend outside of school and school-related activities is bad (i.e. smoking weed after class as you've put it), but its also a good thing to show them that you're interested in other things than medicine and possibly that you've even taken a look at other career options by doing something else during undergrad as well. Besides volunteering in an ER for 4 hours/wk for a year, having peripheral involvement in a psychology study, and working as a nursing assistant in my year off between undergrad and med school I didn't have tons of medical experience. But it was obviously clear to the admissions committee that I'd thought about my career choice (going into medicine) and that I'd done the work necessary to prove I'd be successful in medical school.

Well, I can't comment on the med school advice because you basically hit the nail on the head there. I was referring to going to NYU for UNDERGRAD. and since you said I am pretty much doing what I should be that is good to hear. I don't know how high NYU med ranks in the med school rankings. Ohio State is up there in the med school rankings actually, next to Dartmouth and Brown, but idk if that is for research or what but it is "up there" for something. I am going by the U.S news rankings of grad schools.

 

[kdburton]

Well, I can't comment on the med school advice because you basically hit the nail on the head there. I was referring to going to NYU for UNDERGRAD. and since you said I am pretty much doing what I should be that is good to hear. I don't know how high NYU med ranks in the med school rankings. Ohio State is up there in the med school rankings actually, next to Dartmouth and Brown, but idk if that is for research or what but it is "up there" for something. I am going by the U.S news rankings of grad schools.

I'm under the impression that the US News rankings don't really mean much. I think they primarily have to do with how much funding the school gets for research, so if you're dead-set on a career in academic medicine then it might be worthwhile to go to a higher ranked school on that list, but I know people who have gone into the most competitive medical fields and they didn't graduate from Harvard Med. So you're talking about getting into NYU for undergrad... Talk to your HS counselor, maybe set up an appt with or fall admissions at your top choices and find out where you stand and what you need to do to make yourself a competitive applicant. Don't worry about shadowing a neurosurgeon at this point though unless you don't have anytthing else to do, because its probably not going to help with getting into undergrad and its probably too early in your path to a career in medicine to even put down on your AMCAS application a few years from now when you're applying to med school

 

[El Elegante]

I play video games, my dexterity is still not that great, I think I'm fine though. As far as social life goes, I've never had one and I am the farthest thing from a good looking guy, If I were a female I wouldn't date myself. I have looked at a few girls in my school but I could never muster the courage to go right up to them, they aren't hot either but they are really nice, even THEY probably thing I'm a loser. Yeah, having a work life and no social life sucks but you know, at this point I just don't even care anymore because no one likes me. I just want to get straight A's these next two years and go to NYU, maybe I will find a girl there. I see where you are coming from though but believe me, my school is very cliquey, everyone has their own "Group". I fall into the group of smart, nerdy, nice people who have money, dress nice and average looking but will never get laid.

Why do you even want to go into medicine? It seems like you spend a lot of time shunning people. An important part of a doctor's motivation should be a love of the people he treats or hopes to help-interacting more with people should be more a part of your lifestyle than overloading yourself with academic burdens.

 

[HurricaneKatt]

Okay...so here goes.
First off, I second and third and fourth everything everyone else has said. You're a nut! And I do not mean that offensively, I'm definitely majorly neurotic too. That said, I know from personal experience how easy it is to burn out and I know that no matter what ppl say here you are going to do your own thing regardless. However, take a step back and look at yourself...

You are in HIGH SCHOOL!!!! This is pretty much your one chance at a social life if you want to go into Medicine. Not that you cannot or will not have a social life later, but if you do not develop social skills now, you will have a harder time developing them later. You'll have PLENTY of time for studying and such later... Honestly, you sound very much like myself not so long ago.
You are insecure, neurotic, overachieving, stubborn as an *****, a workaholoic... If you have good grades, do well on the SATs and have some well roundedness to you, you can get into pretty much any school you want. Take time to ENJOY life while you can!!!! It is GREAT that you are doing all of these volunteer things and such, but here's the problem (other than the whole overload and burining yourself out thing), you are doing it all for the WRONG reason!!!! You should not do things Just because you think it's what schools want to see, you should do them because you Like them and WANT to do them. They should be things that you would be interested in/want to do even if you were Not trying to get into a good school.
You NEED a social life!!!! Like one of the posters before me said, Medicine is Very much a social field. You need to like and want to help people to truly be a fit for medicine, even if you only want to do research.
You are NOT unattractive, and I agree a diff. haircut and fresh clothes is probably all you need to be quite good looking. All it takes to be attractive is CONFIDENCE and HEALTH!!!! I have seen hot chicks dating some Really ugly dudes. All because they had a good personality and CONFIDENCE!!!! You are, as another poster stated, a bit intense, not to mention a self-enforced reject. If you THINK ppl will not like you, they will pcik up on that, and not like you. Trust me, I would know. I used to have the lowest self esteem ever, no confidence, social paranoia, the whole bit. I mean geez I used to stay inside from recess in elem. school to read books! Then, I pulled a very slow 180 and became a very confident, outgoing, social butterfly. I went from having no friends, and not a single male attracted to me, to having lots of friends and enough guys after me to be thoroughly annoying at times. YOU CAN TOO!!!! Be confident, Learn social skills NOW (practice in HS, on the ppl who already "don't like you" because then, if you annoy them or embarrass yourself or whatever - which I doubt you will - who cares you'll be leaving soon anyways, and will have then developed a whole set of new social skills to use in college).

So, STOP killing yourself, get your head out of your ***** and go make some friends, enjoy yourself while you can, and be CONFIDENT! You sound like a very fun smary guy if you just take the time to chill a bit. Girls like smart guys. I promise. Don't burn out now or you won't even make it past undergrad.

Best of luck.

 

[xnfs93hy]

Okay...so here goes.
First off, I second and third and fourth everything everyone else has said. You're a nut! And I do not mean that offensively, I'm definitely majorly neurotic too. That said, I know from personal experience how easy it is to burn out and I know that no matter what ppl say here you are going to do your own thing regardless. However, take a step back and look at yourself...

You are in HIGH SCHOOL!!!! This is pretty much your one chance at a social life if you want to go into Medicine. Not that you cannot or will not have a social life later, but if you do not develop social skills now, you will have a harder time developing them later. You'll have PLENTY of time for studying and such later... Honestly, you sound very much like myself not so long ago.
You are insecure, neurotic, overachieving, stubborn as an *****, a workaholoic... If you have good grades, do well on the SATs and have some well roundedness to you, you can get into pretty much any school you want. Take time to ENJOY life while you can!!!! It is GREAT that you are doing all of these volunteer things and such, but here's the problem (other than the whole overload and burining yourself out thing), you are doing it all for the WRONG reason!!!! You should not do things Just because you think it's what schools want to see, you should do them because you Like them and WANT to do them. They should be things that you would be interested in/want to do even if you were Not trying to get into a good school.
You NEED a social life!!!! Like one of the posters before me said, Medicine is Very much a social field. You need to like and want to help people to truly be a fit for medicine, even if you only want to do research.
You are NOT unattractive, and I agree a diff. haircut and fresh clothes is probably all you need to be quite good looking. All it takes to be attractive is CONFIDENCE and HEALTH!!!! I have seen hot chicks dating some Really ugly dudes. All because they had a good personality and CONFIDENCE!!!! You are, as another poster stated, a bit intense, not to mention a self-enforced reject. If you THINK ppl will not like you, they will pcik up on that, and not like you. Trust me, I would know. I used to have the lowest self esteem ever, no confidence, social paranoia, the whole bit. I mean geez I used to stay inside from recess in elem. school to read books! Then, I pulled a very slow 180 and became a very confident, outgoing, social butterfly. I went from having no friends, and not a single male attracted to me, to having lots of friends and enough guys after me to be thoroughly annoying at times. YOU CAN TOO!!!! Be confident, Learn social skills NOW (practice in HS, on the ppl who already "don't like you" because then, if you annoy them or embarrass yourself or whatever - which I doubt you will - who cares you'll be leaving soon anyways, and will have then developed a whole set of new social skills to use in college).

So, STOP killing yourself, get your head out of your ***** and go make some friends, enjoy yourself while you can, and be CONFIDENT! You sound like a very fun smary guy if you just take the time to chill a bit. Girls like smart guys. I promise. Don't burn out now or you won't even make it past undergrad.

Best of luck.

How am I doing it for the wrong reasons? And on top of that, how do you know that I hate doing it? If I "stop killing myself" I am not going to get into NYU I mean I'm pulling straight A's and doing everything I can, I though that is what adcom's wanted. You are telling me to chill out while I have two years to prove myself. I don't know.... but I'd sacrifice a social life for a one way ticket to NYU any day.

Just forget the whole thing I said about getting a girlfriend... and I forget who it was but someone said "Why are you even thinking about going into medicine", WOW. It's because I like helping people in a way I CANNOT EXPLAIN! I have an intangible passion for this field and I know that I will get paid very nicely for all the hard work I will do NOW, in UG, and in Med School. I know that post was a post or two up but idk that really bothered me.

This thread is basically shot because all you guy's are telling me "Stop doing work and enjoy life" I mean really, that is all your saying. Everything I listed I AM DOING RIGHT NOW. Yep, haven't burned out yet I honestly don't see what the problem is. I just don't know how doing all this will hurt my application. If you can suggest anything that will help me be well rounded please share, I'm willing to put in the work. I am trying SO HARD and I am doing fine and it just gets me more aggravated when I read posts like "You just want the money and don't care about patients" posts or "You are trying to hard", I don't try, I try to hard, you know, whats the point...I don't even know why I get on here...I'm just a jerk.

 

[xnfs93hy]

Why do you even want to go into medicine? It seems like you spend a lot of time shunning people. An important part of a doctor's motivation should be a love of the people he treats or hopes to help-interacting more with people should be more a part of your lifestyle than overloading yourself with academic burdens.

I actually talk to just about everyone outside of school actually, believe it or not. Its true that I shun most people. Most girls think I'm disgusting and for the record I smell pretty good and I take daily showers and brush my teeth. I wear jeans and polo shirts just like kids at private schools and have very little acne if any at all, girls still think I'm disgusting. Some girl asked me out and kept shadowing me freshman year and told me she liked me and I felt like committing suicide. She was literally the most unattractive girl in the entire school, call me shallow and a jerk. FINE! I'M A JERK. I bet all of you guys would feel the same way I did my freshman year, being shadowed by some disgusting weird chick who smokes. My entire life in school has sucked, terribly. I could write a book about how much the public school system stinks and how terrible kids are. You have no idea what I have gone through. No one comment on this, because It has nothing to do with the thread at all, I just felt the need to comment on what you said.

 

[Electrophile]

I don't think we're saying you're a jerk and you're not a bad looking kid either, we just saying you're too intense and that's probably off putting to a lot of people. It's almost like you're just treating the whole process like a check list. And yes, you WILL have to put into words WHY you want to do what you want when you go to interview at the various med schools, so might as well practice now. Do you watch House? There was an episode in season 3 where this really smart teenage chess prodigy was a real piece of work. I don't think you're there yet, but don't be like that kid! That's what I'm saying anyways. I think the majority of people who goes into medicine (myself included) is a dominant type A personality. That's not a bad thing. But you do need be able to relate to colleagues, coworkers, patients and their families and not "shun" them just because you think you're mentally superior.

And no, public school isn't that bad. I went to two public high schools and three public middle schools. I went home in tears several times in eighth grade because of the cruelty of a group of people. I know how it goes. But it makes you stronger and I bet most of those idiots barely made it through college, while I'll have four post secondary degrees (and I got a hottie husband). The "woe is me" *angst angst angst* stuff is hardly unique. You are not special. You are not a beautiful or unique snowflake. You're the same decaying organic matter as everything else. And often the "popular people" aren't nearly as with it as they seem.

 

[MilkmanAl]

There are so many obvious social issues going on here that it's hard to know where to start.

Some girl asked me out and kept shadowing me freshman year and told me she liked me and I felt like committing suicide. She was literally the most unattractive girl in the entire school, call me shallow and a jerk. FINE! I'M A JERK. I bet all of you guys would feel the same way I did my freshman year, being shadowed by some disgusting weird chick who smokes.

You're a jerk. That's okay, though. Part of growing up is figuring out how to deal with uncomfortable situations without coming off as a complete ass and hurting the other person/people involved. Still, I'm not sure why this girl being attracted to you was so traumatic. Tell her you aren't interested (politely!), and move on.

Part of the issue here seems to be that you're insanely judgmental and insecure about your life in general. Why are you worried about making a million dollars in one of the most demanding and complicated jobs in the world when you're ~16? Why does it drive you nuts that some girl you find unattractive thinks you're cute? It's normal to be fairly lost during high school. It's a confusing, crazy time full of all sorts of weird social changes. However, you've got to lighten up. I can see the mound of diamonds coming out of your butt from here. You should be flattered that a girl thinks you're cute enough to ask out even if you're not interested.

I'm going to wager that most girls at your school are repulsed by your personality, not your looks. You're obviously not confident, as others have noted, and if you react so severely to something you should be happy about (the girl asking you out), it's no surprise that people - girls, in particular - tend to avoid you. Take it from someone who's committed more than his fair share of social faux pas: you can ruin relationships in a hurry if you unload on the wrong person for no reason, even if that person is unpopular. If being so severe is a habit of yours, you're going to get alienated in a hurry and will stay that way as long as those diamonds keep flowin'.

My entire life in school has sucked, terribly.

I don't doubt that you've had your struggles in school, but if you go into school or anything else convinced that it's going to suck beyond belief, chances are it's going to. A change of perspective and some positive thinking could do you a world of good.

You have no idea what I have gone through.

Yes, yes we probably do. Many teenagers assume that they're lost in a world where nobody understands them and their respective plights. The reality is that everyone goes through high school, everyone has tough times to deal with, and everyone is basically in the same boat, more or less. Of course, there are people on either extreme ranging from crappiest life imaginable to cushiest life ever, but the vast majority of us are somewhere in between. In short, you're not as unique or as hopelessly complicated as you think. There are tons of people around who'll understand and empathize with your situation. This exclusiveness is likely a big part of your social issues, too. Carrying the "you couldn't possibly understand me" chip on your shoulder is a fantastic way to drive people away.

 

[Nikki2002]

i was naive in high school. i thought i had it all figured out. no one could tell me anything.


since that time, things became very difficult. i faced many challenges and at one point thought i might never make it into med school at all. But I kept working at it and now i'm in my first year.

i guess that what i'm trying to say is that your parents mean well. Be humble--be realistic, and work as hard as you can to achieve your goals.

 

[illusenjester]

No, what you really need to do is get laid.
(Justttt kiddddinggg)
I'm a junior in HS and don't really give a rats ass about my grades as much as I should, and it's not so important anyway for now. Score good on the SAT's, do my homework, finish community service hours and more, join a couple of clubs and forums in school, and I'm good to go.
Let's just have fun being teenagers for now without college and all that future stuff to worry about, yet.
x0x0 illy
Oh yea and you can BE whatever the hell you want, your feelings and dreams should come first, don't let your parents pressure you or lead you astray. You can do it, I believe in you! hahaa.

 

[El Elegante]

No, what you really need to do is get laid.
(Justttt kiddddinggg)
.

I mean, yeah. Not so much about getting laid, but have a little fun-skip some class, raise a little hell. After high school, the consequences for being irresponsible get a little worse each rung you climb the latter. Have fun when you can-a life spent only on work is no life at all.

 

[xnfs93hy]

No, what you really need to do is get laid.
(Justttt kiddddinggg)
I'm a junior in HS and don't really give a rats ass about my grades as much as I should, and it's not so important anyway for now. Score good on the SAT's, do my homework, finish community service hours and more, join a couple of clubs and forums in school, and I'm good to go.
Let's just have fun being teenagers for now without college and all that future stuff to worry about, yet.
x0x0 illy
Oh yea and you can BE whatever the hell you want, your feelings and dreams should come first, don't let your parents pressure you or lead you astray. You can do it, I believe in you! hahaa.

Ok...

 

[xnfs93hy]

I mean, yeah. Not so much about getting laid, but have a little fun-skip some class, raise a little hell. After high school, the consequences for being irresponsible get a little worse each rung you climb the latter. Have fun when you can-a life spent only on work is no life at all.

I don't think so.

 

[xnfs93hy]

I've come to conclude that I'll just keep doing what I'm doing because I'm not going to burn out, and to get into NYU I need to keep "killing myself", first thing colleges look at is SAT's. I'm done posting here.

 

[kdburton]

I've come to conclude that I'll just keep doing what I'm doing because I'm not going to burn out, and to get into NYU I need to keep "killing myself", first thing colleges look at is SAT's. I'm done posting here.

Let me give you some advice about posting on these forums since you're obviously somewhat new. Don't ASK FOR ADVICE and then disregard everything that everyone tells you only to justify your original position - its a waste of everyone's time and you're not getting anything out of it either. Its obvious based on your replies to various posts and by your own self-admission that you are lacking in the social arena. Some people don't realize this until they get to undergrad and then graduate level education, but HIGH SCHOOL IS EXTREMELY EASY. So I know that you're not going to burn out, because to tell you the truth if anyone burns out during high school then they won't be able to hack it in an ivy league undergraduate and any med school for that matter. No one needs to "kill themselves" during high school to get into a good college - and no one should-, so I think what people are getting at is that you need to diversify yourself a bit. With the attitude you have you will most likely get to college and think about things the same exact way that you do now; "If I just get straight A's then I'll get into Harvard Med." Maybe you'll get good grades, but you'll still be missing out on the whole outside-of-school portion of your life (and that should be a big part of life during high school and college years). Although I can't say that everyone in my class has the best social skills I can say that the weedout process between high school and medical school admissions gets rid of an enormous amount of people who have no social skills. Its not just grades that count and you don't want to find that out in your senior year of college. So... Get the grades, SAT scores, etc that you need to get into a good college and spend the rest of your time not being a wallflower and instead actually learning how to interact with people. If you plan on becoming a good doctor then you're going to need social skills equally as much as you're going to need the scientific knowledge. Good luck

 

[MilkmanAl]

What he said. You're on track to become just another socially clueless doctor who can't relate to anyone, much less his patients. Being this neurotic in high school is extremely bad, to say the least. At your current rate, the best case scenario is that in my first sentence. The worst case is you setting yourself up for a catastrophic failure - probably during med school application - and being up **** creek with an unmarketable bio degree while still totally lacking any semblance of social grace.

 

[xnfs93hy]

I don't understand why you think I'm neurotic, and its not my fault my social life is this bad, you probably think I'm just being a bitch. What is it you want me to do? Stop volunteering and stop doing research and all of that? Stop taking these difficult classes in school? Aside from that, there is no point in making friends and getting social at this stage in the game because no one in my school likes me, believe me you have NO IDEA what I am talking about, you can't relate to me AT ALL, I am a giant social loser.

I basically justified my original position because the only advice you are giving me is advice that is useless to me now. Seriously, if I tone it down then I'm not going to get into a top 50 college, that is all I care about at this point. Maybe I'll turn over a new leaf in UG but I just don't see why you guys are telling me to tone it down academically and start making friends I will never see in two years.

If anyone reading this is a mod, close this thread please.

 

[marina1285]

I don't understand why you think I'm neurotic, and its not my fault my social life is this bad, you probably think I'm just being a bitch. What is it you want me to do? Stop volunteering and stop doing research and all of that? Stop taking these difficult classes in school? Aside from that, there is no point in making friends and getting social at this stage in the game because no one in my school likes me, believe me you have NO IDEA what I am talking about, you can't relate to me AT ALL, I am a giant social loser.

I basically justified my original position because the only advice you are giving me is advice that is useless to me now. Seriously, if I tone it down then I'm not going to get into a top 50 college, that is all I care about at this point. Maybe I'll turn over a new leaf in UG but I just don't see why you guys are telling me to tone it down academically and start making friends I will never see in two years.

If anyone reading this is a mod, close this thread please.

About 5 years down the road you will look at these posts and realize what we were talking about, and understand how sad it is to hear someone so young be so cynical. In the meantime... best of luck to you, I'm sure you will have no problem getting into NYU

 

[MilkmanAl]

I don't understand why you think I'm neurotic

You're worrying about a profession that is going to require 10 years of post-graduate work to attain when you haven't finished high school yet. That qualifies as neurotic in anyone's book.

its not my fault my social life is this bad

From what you've posted, it certainly seems like it is.

What is it you want me to do? Stop volunteering and stop doing research and all of that?

Yes, actually. You may need some volunteer hours for your school or as an admission requirement for college, but outside of that, you need to just chill out and be a kid while you can. If you do achieve med school acceptance, you'll have more work and professionalism rammed down your throat than you thought possible.

Aside from that, there is no point in making friends and getting social at this stage in the game because no one in my school likes me, believe me you have NO IDEA what I am talking about, you can't relate to me AT ALL, I am a giant social loser.

Absurd. Change your ways, go out of your way to be nice to people, try to make some contacts you can hang out with, and stop seeing everyone and everything so negatively. After awhile, people will get the drift that you've changed. I most certainly can relate to you, and so can many other people. You're talking to a reformed social reject who used to largely feel like you do towards others. You're essentially telling me I haven't done what I've done. You're not alone at all. Maybe it's time you talked to a counselor or a good friend about your issues. Any way you can vent positively and get useful feedback is helpful.

edit for crosspost: I agree with Marina. You should save copies of these threads somewhere and read them after college. It'll throw you for a loop.