Huge decision....how do you know for sure?

[AUmomof3]

ok...here it goes...

I have been a SAHM for 3 years after being a music educator for 7 seven years. These three years have given me the opportunity to watch my babies blossom into beautiful children and two of them are now in grade school. My youngest is three. These three years have also allowed me to evaluate where I really want to be...career-wise...and it's not in a bandroom or choir room! Always in the back of my mind I have been fascinated with medicine, and have wandered what if...

My husband has a good job, and supported me when I got my master's in education. Now...with only having had two science classes....I know the road to becoming a doctor would be long. I'm sure I'd have to get a post-bac in some sort of science. There are a lot of things running around in my mind....the biggest being TIME! Time it will take for me to complete this, and time it will take away from my family!! The second is FINANCE!

I am a 32 yr old mom of 3....am I nuts? I wonder if nursing would be more rewarding in that I could be done much quicker, and still have some quality family time. I often think that I might actually prefer nursing....but how do I KNOW? But then I wonder if I would just be "settling." Such a huge decision, and it's not just my life I'd be affecting! Truth is....if I were single with no kids, I would have no doubt about med school. How do you come to the decision to go for it??

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[Pons Asinorum]

I wonder if nursing would be more rewarding in that I could be done much quicker, and still have some quality family time. I often think that I might actually prefer nursing....but how do I KNOW? But then I wonder if I would just be "settling." Such a huge decision, and it's not just my life I'd be affecting! Truth is....if I were single with no kids, I would have no doubt about med school. How do you come to the decision to go for it??

You need to do some shadowing. Over a number of specialties, with both nurses and physicians. I think it will be much clearer. If not, you can at least frame your arguments for each much more accurately.

 

[MeRLin443]

You would be trading spending time with your kids and being there for them growing up for your professional satisfaction.

 

[Pons Asinorum]

You would be trading spending time with your kids and being there for them growing up for your professional satisfaction.

Here we go again...

 

[LingoLaine]

How do you come to the decision to go for it??

It's probably different for everyone. For me, the simplest way I can put it is that the thought of NOT going (and living with the regret down the road) was scarier than the thought of going (and all the sacrifices that entails).

 

[DrMidlife]

1. Start a weekly volunteer gig in a hospital or clinic, such as a 4 hour shift in the ER. Can you commit to this? Can you stick with it? Can you enjoy it? Can you focus on what's going on at the hospital/clinic instead of what's happening at home? Do you look forward to it every week?
--> this gives you a bit of evidence whether work in the medical field is any kind of match for you

2. Take a math or English class at a community college. Same as above: can you commit? Can you excel? Can you get an A?
--> this gives you a bit of evidence whether being in school, um, basically forever, is going to be survivable

3. Identify the differences between physician and nurse by observing and asking questions and shadowing. Don't let a funny/gorgeous/supportive individual sway you: what is their JOB and do you WANT it enough to SUFFER for it.

4. Find out what you're willing to give up. Are you willing to regularly transfer daily responsibilities to your husband, and is he willing to take them? Are you willing to be broke? Are you willing to move? Are you willing to miss soccer games and first days of school? Are you willing to be so tired and focused that even if you're physically present for your family you're not really there, for at least intern year?
--> this will help with the "can isn't should" issue

If families are so delicate and if there's only one way to think about them, then no man or woman with children or viable eggs or sperm should be allowed to be a doctor. There's room in the world for parents who make tradeoffs and take risks.

Best of luck to you.

 

[katiemaude]

What Dr. Midlife said.

I was kind of like you, but without the kids and husband. I could be back doing what I had been doing for $50K+ a year, living a decent and somewhat interesting life (read: not broke) but I had an opportunity to go back to school when I was laid off. I took a semester thinking what the heck, might as well see if I really have what it takes. A year later, I'm still trying to figure it out but I am getting more and more sure. I have to do shadowing to really help me decide (I sometimes waffle and think I should be a PA instead, but I know this general area is for me).

Take algebra, either for the first time or as a refresher and start that 4-hour ER volunteer shift. If it goes well, take general chemistry I and shadow a few doctors. It's a minimal investment to see if this long, hard road is right for you.

 

[Scottish Chap]

ok...here it goes...

I have been a SAHM for 3 years after being a music educator for 7 seven years. These three years have given me the opportunity to watch my babies blossom into beautiful children and two of them are now in grade school. My youngest is three. These three years have also allowed me to evaluate where I really want to be...career-wise...and it's not in a bandroom or choir room! Always in the back of my mind I have been fascinated with medicine, and have wandered what if...

My husband has a good job, and supported me when I got my master's in education. Now...with only having had two science classes....I know the road to becoming a doctor would be long. I'm sure I'd have to get a post-bac in some sort of science. There are a lot of things running around in my mind....the biggest being TIME! Time it will take for me to complete this, and time it will take away from my family!! The second is FINANCE!

I am a 32 yr old mom of 3....am I nuts? I wonder if nursing would be more rewarding in that I could be done much quicker, and still have some quality family time. I often think that I might actually prefer nursing....but how do I KNOW? But then I wonder if I would just be "settling." Such a huge decision, and it's not just my life I'd be affecting! Truth is....if I were single with no kids, I would have no doubt about med school. How do you come to the decision to go for it??

A medical career is a privilege. It's a minimum seven year commitment, however, and it's expensive. You can live a lot in that time. If you are happy doing something else, you should.

 

[efex101]

You will not know if it is worth it until you "arrive" to the end of your residency. It is a sacrifice of time spent with your family and for self no matter which way you slice it or dice it.

 

[DrMidlife]

A medical career is a privilege. It's a minimum seven year commitment, however, and it's expensive. You can live a lot in that time. If you are happy doing something else, you should.

 

[jace's mom]

All I can tell you is that it's the only thing I ever wanted to do. I tried other careers and wasn't satisfied, and then medical school (which I had given up on) suddenly dropped into my lap. I prayed a lot, talked to my husband and kids, talked to every doctor who would stand still long enough, shadowed people, looked at other medical professions...you name it, I considered it. The go-ahead moment for me happened in the medical section of a bookstore. I looked at all those texts and thought about the legacy I wanted to leave for my children, and I finally accepted what I now realize truly is my calling.

I'm a wife, mother of four, and third year medical student. I'm so happy it's almost ridiculous, and I'm so very glad I took this chance.

 

[AUmomof3]

Thank you all for your input! Keep em' coming! I do know I need to shadow...and am in the process of getting that underway. I do feel I'm leaning more in the direction of nursing simply because I'm not 100% sure! I do not want to miss anything with my kids, and I know I will! It's a "trade-off" I know, but not one that I think will ever be worth it! I'll never get those memories back! God has blessed me with three beautiful kids, and I want to BE there...not just financially. I am thankful that my husband is supportive of whatever I decide, but the more I pray about it, the more I feel at peace with letting medical school go.

 

[Ebete]

All I can tell you is that it's the only thing I ever wanted to do. I tried other careers and wasn't satisfied, and then medical school (which I had given up on) suddenly dropped into my lap. I prayed a lot, talked to my husband and kids, talked to every doctor who would stand still long enough, shadowed people, looked at other medical professions...you name it, I considered it. The go-ahead moment for me happened in the medical section of a bookstore. I looked at all those texts and thought about the legacy I wanted to leave for my children, and I finally accepted what I now realize truly is my calling.

I'm a wife, mother of four, and third year medical student. I'm so happy it's almost ridiculous, and I'm so very glad I took this chance.

I guess I'm in the same boat as the op, I have 4 kids and feel awful about their time without mommy. I don't mind my own sacrifice, I know what I need to do and know what will make me happy, but feel bad putting the family thru the process. How did you overcome this? Why are you so happy now, what makes you happy? Did you also have reservations about how the kids and husband would feel? Sorry for all the q's...you can teach us so much about this parent/spouse/med school process.

Thank you!!!!

 

[CookDeRosa]

ok...here it goes...

I have been a SAHM for 3 years after being a music educator for 7 seven years. These three years have given me the opportunity to watch my babies blossom into beautiful children and two of them are now in grade school. My youngest is three. These three years have also allowed me to evaluate where I really want to be...career-wise...and it's not in a bandroom or choir room! Always in the back of my mind I have been fascinated with medicine, and have wandered what if...

My husband has a good job, and supported me when I got my master's in education. Now...with only having had two science classes....I know the road to becoming a doctor would be long. I'm sure I'd have to get a post-bac in some sort of science. There are a lot of things running around in my mind....the biggest being TIME! Time it will take for me to complete this, and time it will take away from my family!! The second is FINANCE!

I am a 32 yr old mom of 3....am I nuts? I wonder if nursing would be more rewarding in that I could be done much quicker, and still have some quality family time. I often think that I might actually prefer nursing....but how do I KNOW? But then I wonder if I would just be "settling." Such a huge decision, and it's not just my life I'd be affecting! Truth is....if I were single with no kids, I would have no doubt about med school. How do you come to the decision to go for it??

We are very similar. I'm a SAHM to 4 children. I'm 40, and I gave a sincere consideration to nursing instead of medicine. I actually want to catch babies- so midwifery calls me too. What I did, was REALLY explore the nursing path before deciding. I know midwives (all my deliveries were by midwives) so I called them and did shadows. I worked for one who owned her own practice (what I would want) and completed the Certified Nurses Aid class at the community college. It's 6 weeks/75 hours and you do actual patient contact *and get certified which means you could work if you wanted to *. The combination of these shadows and CNA really (really!) gave me the tools to make an educated decision. I'd suggest you check out the CNA class, it might help you too!

For me, I found a huge distinction into the kind of people who become nurses vs the kind of people who become doctors in addition to the tasks of the job. I'm very certain now what I want to do, and I wasn't "very certain" before, so the whole experience was valuable.