I feel like as you become an upperclassmen, social opportunities go away

Oct 22, 2013
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United States.
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Pre-Medical
When I was a freshman I had so many opportunities to meet new people, go to parties, and have what people would describe as a typical college experience. It also helped that I went to an out of state private university which was far away from home. Then after my sophomore year things happened. Money issues came in, parents decided that they could not afford to send me to that college anymore, and on the fall of 2012 I decided to transfer to a state school.

Now on paper the state school is great. Really good football team, lots of students, lots of hot girls, and everything that my past college didn't have.

But I just find that there is something lacking. Maybe it is because I am a transfer student but even then I notice that Upperclassmen (juniors and seniors) are usually less receptive to meeting new people or making friends.

Academically I am doing great, it is much easier here than the last university I went to and I have managed to keep a good GPA but the social life has vanished for me.

I feel like I came here too late to relate to other upperclassmen that knew each other as freshman and the freshman who are more outgoing when you first meet them become more cliquish as the semester goes on.

The good grades have kept me somewhat happy but the lack of a social life has just killed me.
 

KnuxNole

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Have you tried getting to know people in your classes, neighbors in your apartment? Those are a good first steps to meet new people. Especially if the state school is medium to big, there will be upperclassmen who are open to meeting new faces.
 

Awesome Sauceome

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Give it time. I also was a transfer student (also due to money issues). Went from a school that had a lot of "team spirit" and pride and comradery, to a smaller school that was a bit of a commuter school and just didnt seem to have much going on (not even a football team!).

First year and a half or so was kind of rough. But with enough time you start seeing the same faces and start suffering through some of the same courses together. There absolutely is a bit of a wall with upper classman because they sort of have their friends lined up and dont really care much for making a bunch of new friends (I certainly was guilty of this my junior, senior, and super senior year). But eventually I made some really unlikely friends. I wish I had a bunch of wise words or some real advice, but I would just say give it time.
 
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Aug 8, 2013
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I have quite a few friends who are a couple years younger than me, it has been kind of fun to relive the drama of picking an advisor/major :) I ended up really appreciating having friends from all years because it allowed me to escape the giant circle jerk that is "what are you doing after graduation" woe of senior year.
 
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OP
C
Oct 22, 2013
132
14
United States.
Status
Pre-Medical
Have you tried getting to know people in your classes, neighbors in your apartment? Those are a good first steps to meet new people. Especially if the state school is medium to big, there will be upperclassmen who are open to meeting new faces.
I would say a vast majority of the people I have met have come from my classes. As for my apartments it is tough to meet people when you live in an apartment complex and I live a mile away from campus. My friends say outside of dorms it is tough to meet people anyways.

Next option is the bar scene where I have found most people go out in large groups and I haven't had a group to really go out with. I have made colleagues and some friends but no friends I can rely on to go out to the movies with me or anything.

What else gets me is that my love life has hit rock bottom. At my previous college I dated some girls who were gorgeous and I have been told I am a good looking guy myself (no e-brag). Here I have been accustomed to being treated like dirt by some girls but my college does have a lot of sorority girls so that makes a difference.
 

rolliespring

Gin no Samurai
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Jul 6, 2012
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Dude, did you join any clubs or organizations at all?
 
Jun 8, 2011
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Pre-Medical
When I was a freshman I had so many opportunities to meet new people, go to parties, and have what people would describe as a typical college experience. It also helped that I went to an out of state private university which was far away from home. Then after my sophomore year things happened. Money issues came in, parents decided that they could not afford to send me to that college anymore, and on the fall of 2012 I decided to transfer to a state school.

Now on paper the state school is great. Really good football team, lots of students, lots of hot girls, and everything that my past college didn't have.

But I just find that there is something lacking. Maybe it is because I am a transfer student but even then I notice that Upperclassmen (juniors and seniors) are usually less receptive to meeting new people or making friends.

Academically I am doing great, it is much easier here than the last university I went to and I have managed to keep a good GPA but the social life has vanished for me.

I feel like I came here too late to relate to other upperclassmen that knew each other as freshman and the freshman who are more outgoing when you first meet them become more cliquish as the semester goes on.

The good grades have kept me somewhat happy but the lack of a social life has just killed me.

Same situation here, transferring to a state school that looks great on paper, etc. I came here as a Junior, and I'm definitely struggling with my social life. Academically I'm doing great, which keeps me motivated but it's pretty difficult with the limited social interaction. It seems as if most of the upper-classmen are preoccupied with the friends they made Freshman/Sophomore year. It's even more difficult when your ECs and academics eat up a lot of your free time so you don't have a lot of opportunity to make friends. Hopefully it gets better as time goes on.
 
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OP
C
Oct 22, 2013
132
14
United States.
Status
Pre-Medical
Dude, did you join any clubs or organizations at all?
Yes a few and I did go places with them. My social life has slowly picked up overtime but it is still a joke overall compared to the one I had at my past university. I guess what is getting to me is the lack of friends to go places with and since my ex at the past university and I am single now, I can't get anywhere with girls at this university even though there are a lot of attractive ones here.
 
OP
C
Oct 22, 2013
132
14
United States.
Status
Pre-Medical
Same situation here, transferring to a state school that looks great on paper, etc. I came here as a Junior, and I'm definitely struggling with my social life. Academically I'm doing great, which keeps me motivated but it's pretty difficult with the limited social interaction. It seems as if most of the upper-classmen are preoccupied with the friends they made Freshman/Sophomore year. It's even more difficult when your ECs and academics eat up a lot of your free time so you don't have a lot of opportunity to make friends. Hopefully it gets better as time goes on.
I have never relied on hope too much, I rely on action. Unfortunately relying on action and failing can cause you to get a bit depressed. Now I plan on getting a bit more involved with campus life and going to more events and then things will pick up. Not sure for me but since I transferred I might end up doing extra time at my university.
 

touchpause13

nolite te bastardes carborundorum
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Jun 25, 2012
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Have you considered rushing? Or joining a club sport? I did those two things within the first month of transferring colleges and I was very happy with my experience. Ended up with a lot of great friends, some of whom were in my wedding.
 
OP
C
Oct 22, 2013
132
14
United States.
Status
Pre-Medical
Have you considered rushing? Or joining a club sport? I did those two things within the first month of transferring colleges and I was very happy with my experience. Ended up with a lot of great friends, some of whom were in my wedding.
both are good suggestions, too far along to rush but I will consider club sports