I feel soooo guilty :(

[ocean11]

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Hey everyone...

Just had to get something off my chest... I had a pretty intense day and well to make things short had to get to the West end of the city fast! so I borrowed my dad's toll high way pass. When I told him I borrowed it, he flipped out and told me that it wasn't his. I offered to give him the $5.00 and he accused me of stealing and being completely immoral (even though I told him I borrowed it?!?).

AM I REALLY THAT EVIL????? arghghghgh I feel sooooo bad........ he was always so proud of me...... and now all my achievements are worth nothing because I'm sure he thinks I'm scum and guess what? I feel like scum too..... 🙁

 

[tigershark]

wtf?

 

[MoosePilot]

Huh? If these are like the ones I'm used to, $5 is an accurate (if maybe a bit high) guess at the most you could put on it in a day.

I think he's overreacting. As a child, you need correction when you borrow things without permission. As an adult, you're expected to use your best judgement. If you make a mistake (like he seems to think you did) then you're expected to make it right (which I feel you did with the $5). I have to wonder what the underlying issues are that have him upset. Whose pass is it?

 

[2tall]

well...you didn't borrow it, if you didn't ask permission beforehand.

in spite of that...you are a good person. if you didn't feel remorseful...you'd be evil.

your dad is proud of you.

your dad will get over it.

 

[gerido]

Hey everyone...

Just had to get something off my chest... I had a pretty intense day and well to make things short had to get to the West end of the city fast! so I borrowed my dad's toll high way pass. When I told him I borrowed it, he flipped out and told me that it wasn't his. I offered to give him the $5.00 and he accused me of stealing and being completely immoral (even though I told him I borrowed it?!?).

AM I REALLY THAT EVIL????? arghghghgh I feel sooooo bad........ he was always so proud of me...... and now all my achievements are worth nothing because I'm sure he thinks I'm scum and guess what? I feel like scum too..... 🙁

are you serious?

 

[oompaloompa]

Wow.

Any parent who would flip out on their adult son/daughter for something so trivial has probably already inflicted some major emotional damage. The fact that you exercised your best judgement, owned up to your "mistake," and offered to make it right all show a mature thought process. Sometimes parents of young adults that are coming into their own fear that they are losing their influence/control, so they become overbearing even on little things just to try and reassert their authority(can you tell I'm on my psych rotation?). So if you're still in a position where you are still financially dependent on dad, then you may have to put up with it, even if it is unreasonable. However, if you're 22+ years old and financially independent, don't let him get away with it! You're going to be a doctor, a lead person on a team, and you can't roll over for stupid **** like this. There are going to be plenty of times in med school and residency where we're just going to be spanked, but we also need to know when to stand up for ourselves. Good luck and be careful, it won't be pretty, but you got to draw the line somewhere.

 

[DieselPetrolGrl]

Hey everyone...

Just had to get something off my chest... I had a pretty intense day and well to make things short had to get to the West end of the city fast! so I borrowed my dad's toll high way pass. When I told him I borrowed it, he flipped out and told me that it wasn't his. I offered to give him the $5.00 and he accused me of stealing and being completely immoral (even though I told him I borrowed it?!?).

AM I REALLY THAT EVIL????? arghghghgh I feel sooooo bad........ he was always so proud of me...... and now all my achievements are worth nothing because I'm sure he thinks I'm scum and guess what? I feel like scum too..... 🙁

omg
u sweet child
u make me ill
get over it and join the dark side!

 

[DieselPetrolGrl]

btw why are you parents proud of you? mine gave up 13 years ago
trust me once you cme to the terms that they arnt the end all judge on humanity you will feel better. plus it wasnt like u used the money to get to the other side of town to do a drug deal or pimp their best friends!

 

[DieselPetrolGrl]

ps:

when i read the thread topic i thought u were going to confess to murder or hiding other people's twinkies...this thread is appaling in its moral hight

ok i am done triple poasting

yeah oceans 11 u are ok
dont feel bad
tell ur dad to get over it - u just borrowed and it wasnt his LAST $5
btw if it WAS his last $5...u make me sick *just kidding!*

 

[woolie]

Ocean,

You're a nice guy and maybe your dad is just flipping out for reasons we have no idea about. You did the right thing to tell him, and since we don't really know why he's so upset, best to maybe let him alone and let things cool out.

Morals and a conscience are great things to have ... plus, wanting to be good with your parents. No worries about your post.

 

[thackl]

Any parent who would flip out on their adult son/daughter for something so trivial has probably already inflicted some major emotional damage.

I believe the OP established that when this thread was created

 

[DrBowtie]

Why did your dad has the pass that wasn't his? The ones I have seen are mounted on your windshield?

 

[Arsenic]

this makes no sense, why would your dad over react like that? whats the big deal if he gives the pass back to the person that owns it along with a $5 bill. 😕

 

[Arsenic]

ps:

when i read the thread topic i thought u were going to confess to murder or hiding other people's twinkies...this thread is appaling in its moral hight
ok i am done triple poasting

yeah oceans 11 u are ok
dont feel bad
tell ur dad to get over it - u just borrowed and it wasnt his LAST $5
btw if it WAS his last $5...u make me sick *just kidding!*

 

[MoosePilot]

this makes no sense, why would your dad over react like that? whats the big deal if he gives the pass back to the person that owns it along with a $5 bill. 😕

See, I wondered this too. I made up some scenarios in my head, like:

Dad takes the pass for work, boss is a tight ass that reviews travel arrangements very carefully, boss throws fits over any little departure from standard operating procedure, dad yells at offspring because he's gonna get yelled at by boss.

 

[Medikit]

Well I think we all know the moral of the story: A penny saved is worth two in the bush.

 

[txguy]

See, I wondered this too. I made up some scenarios in my head, like:

Dad takes the pass for work, boss is a tight ass that reviews travel arrangements very carefully, boss throws fits over any little departure from standard operating procedure, dad yells at offspring because he's gonna get yelled at by boss.

 

[YouDontKnowJack]

are you in medicine to make your dad proud?

or to help people?

 

[tupac_don]

Hey everyone...

Just had to get something off my chest... I had a pretty intense day and well to make things short had to get to the West end of the city fast! so I borrowed my dad's toll high way pass. When I told him I borrowed it, he flipped out and told me that it wasn't his. I offered to give him the $5.00 and he accused me of stealing and being completely immoral (even though I told him I borrowed it?!?).

AM I REALLY THAT EVIL????? arghghghgh I feel sooooo bad........ he was always so proud of me...... and now all my achievements are worth nothing because I'm sure he thinks I'm scum and guess what? I feel like scum too..... 🙁

Are you on crack? If you are that easily perturbed, you are gonna have a really tough time in medicine. Roll with the punches, I thin he will get over it.

 

[scooter31]

Well I think we all know the moral of the story: A penny saved is worth two in the bush.

5 bucks for bush?

It was worth the trouble ocean 👍
Oh wait. I'm confused. 😕

 

[DieselPetrolGrl]

i know you have a "funny photo bank"
so why dont u just lemme see the album hrmp!
..please

 

[ocean11]

Are you on crack? If you are that easily perturbed, you are gonna have a really tough time in medicine. Roll with the punches, I thin he will get over it.

I must say, you've got an excellent point. I think I'm almost over it, I have to face my dad tonight over dinner and I'm going to do my best to 'be cool' and get into his good graces again 🙂

Thanks for the support guys, it really REALLY helps and means alot 🙂

 

[SpiritiualDuck]

F)(*K your dad. He's a jerk.

Also, you seem crazy yourself. You might be overreacting, just a bit. I had a friend get busted for stealing a car and this event is a big deal in your family. You guys need to learn perspective.

And suddenly all that you've accomplished is worth nothing, hmm. Crazy!

I would have told my dad to chill out. But he would not have reacted that way, so I can't relate to this nutty thread. Get help, therapy, family therapy, etc.

At dinner tonight, tell crazy man dad, that "spiritiualduck" says, "Go F(*k yourself oldman freak boy."

 

[MoosePilot]

I must say, you've got an excellent point. I think I'm almost over it, I have to face my dad tonight over dinner and I'm going to do my best to 'be cool' and get into his good graces again 🙂

Thanks for the support guys, it really REALLY helps and means alot 🙂

Be cool and get into his good graces again?

How old and from what cultural background are you?

I'd go up to my dad and say, "What has you so upset over this? I didn't realize it wasn't yours, I'm willing to pay the costs of using it, but you seem awfully upset over it."

Don't be cool, just be straightforward. Air this out and find out why it became such a big deal.

 

[bbake87]

wtf?

Wtf again.

 

[thackl]

Be cool and get into his good graces again?

How old and from what cultural background are you?.

I'm guessing Indian or Chinese 😕

 

[gerido]

I'm guessing Indian or Chinese 😕

Stop with the stereotype, i think the OP is just BSing, doesn't have enough to do.

 

[PiccoloPlaya]

Oceans11,

You are an adult and responsible for your own decisions. You are a grownup now. Your parents have to accept that you're not dependant on them anymore, and not treat you like a kindergartner. I've been through this, my parents didn't even let me DRIVE by myself until I was 22. Yeah, I was not allowed to drive and I'm 23 and still not allowed to date! You just have to stand up to them, assert that you are your own person now, and show them that they cannot control your life forever. THAT'S maturity.

 

[MoosePilot]

Oceans11,

You are an adult and responsible for your own decisions. You are a grownup now. Your parents have to accept that you're not dependant on them anymore, and not treat you like a kindergartner. I've been through this, my parents didn't even let me DRIVE by myself until I was 22. Yeah, I was not allowed to drive and I'm 23 and still not allowed to date! You just have to stand up to them, assert that you are your own person now, and show them that they cannot control your life forever. THAT'S maturity.

This is fishy given your screen name, your user title and your previous posts. You almost seem familiar...

 

[MoosePilot]

Moose? You don't go to my med school, do you? (stalker music....) JONATHON?!?

Hahaha... no, I'm not in any medical school yet. I'm applying this year. It would be from this forum or not at all.

 

[Pontifex Maximus]

Eh, overreaction. Give the money and be done with it.

 

[MoosePilot]

That's too bad, cuz I think John's hot. You could be dating a sexy bootylicous babe like me. Then again, you probably couldn't handle me 😀 <--- p.s. for those of you with no sense of humor, no, I'm not conceited, that's a JOKE you guys

No, I probably couldn't handle a 23 year old virgin. There lies too much drama even for me.

 

[ocean11]

F)(*K your dad. He's a jerk.

Also, you seem crazy yourself. You might be overreacting, just a bit. I had a friend get busted for stealing a car and this event is a big deal in your family. You guys need to learn perspective.

And suddenly all that you've accomplished is worth nothing, hmm. Crazy!

I would have told my dad to chill out. But he would not have reacted that way, so I can't relate to this nutty thread. Get help, therapy, family therapy, etc.

At dinner tonight, tell crazy man dad, that "spiritiualduck" says, "Go F(*k yourself oldman freak boy."

wow! you obviously have NO respect for those that brought you into the world. Be careful what you say or what you do, Karma has a way of coming back to you!

 

[MoosePilot]

wow! you obviously have NO respect for those that brought you into the world. Be careful what you say or what you do, Karma has a way of coming back to you!

I'm getting the impression you are bored and just making this story up, because you're avoiding response to our basic point that your dad overreacted and you didn't do anything bad.

 

[tinkerbelle]

I've been through this, my parents didn't even let me DRIVE by myself until I was 22. Yeah, I was not allowed to drive

Oh gosh. I thought I was the only one with a mother who refused to let me drive by myself 😀 She can't really stop me now that I bought my own car though 😛

 

[ocean11]

I'm getting the impression you are bored and just making this story up, because you're avoiding response to our basic point that your dad overreacted and you didn't do anything bad.

Ok, so let's address the issue. No I'm not just bored and making it up. I wouldn't waste people's time like that. I honestly felt really bad about this situation and had a very 'streneous' day and perhaps was over-reacting abit. Nevertheless thanks for the advice people and things are ok now.... 🙂

 

[bluemuffin]

CUT THE CORD!!!!!!!!

Your parents won't let you drive nor date? You are an adult tell them it is no longer their decision. They will be mad but they'll get over it, just like ocean's dad. I understand being concerned about what your parents think, but seriously, grow up!

 

[ocean11]

CUT THE CORD!!!!!!!!

Your parents won't let you drive nor date? You are an adult tell them it is no longer their decision. They will be mad but they'll get over it, just like ocean's dad. I understand being concerned about what your parents think, but seriously, grow up!

The problem here, is that in some cultures this is 'the norm'. Saying "grow up" isn't going to help the situation. If the daughter decides to date and go out late at night etc... (which most of us consider normal in western society) the parents might disown her, or throw her out on the street. So I think you need to come up with a better solution than 'grow up'.

 

[Clin_Epi]

No, I probably couldn't handle a 23 year old virgin. There lies too much drama even for me.

That is THE funniest thing I have read on the internet...or at least on SDN.



/Ocean 11 no worries...

 

[bluemuffin]

The problem here, is that in some cultures this is 'the norm'. Saying "grow up" isn't going to help the situation. If the daughter decides to date and go out late at night etc... (which most of us consider normal in western society) the parents might disown her, or throw her out on the street. So I think you need to come up with a better solution than 'grow up'.

Believe me I understand that in some cultures this is the case, but at some point life altering decisions have to be yours to make. It's unfortunate if your parents would be rash enough to disown you and if that is the case then you have to decide which is more important to you, tough spot and that sucks. I would not want to have to make that decision.

As far as them throwing you on the street though, at 23 no matter what culture you come from you should know how to take care of yourself, but if the money they give you is that important to you. Then you have made the decision to continue to live by their rules and so you have to deal with the consquences.

This all may sound harsh, but I'm tired of society continuing to baby grown adults who 100 years ago would already be supporting their own families. As adults it is our responsibility to inform our parents of our adulthood because if it were up to many parents they would control/support us until we were 30.

 

[SpiritiualDuck]

I can't believe this thread continues. I can't believe I have more to say.

The thing is: I don't care about rationalizations that include the need to be culturally sensitive. We should encourage healthy adult relationships with out parents in our own lives. We should work to be reasonable people. I'm concerned when I read threads like this because I believe that many of the people that are becoming physicians are not equipped emotionally for this task.

People hurt, people suffer, and I know we shouldn't minimize the pains of others, but I can't be sensitive to crazy behavior. And f*(&k the Karma BS. I've been through tons of crap in my life, death of a parent, loss of close friend, and I still live in reality. So, grow up. And demand mature relationships from your friends and family.

 

[heldicus]

To the OP:

I think your dad needs to get laid.