I give up on Medical School.

[Select All That Apply]

@RNtoMD87 Sounds like you took a lion's share of critical shifts and cashed in on OT. Also curious, was your first year in California?

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[RNtoMD87]

Louisiana. And yeah I worked about 5 shifts a week, and there is no shortage of double emergency pay (20.00 an hour extra). Starting pay 24.50 an hour, 5.25 night diff, 5.00 weekend diff, and overtime. 5 12s a week is easily doable too. In the Army I was working 85 hours a week my last 2 years in, and only making 2200 a month. At one point I worked 20 hours a day for 22 days straight and the 4 hours off were not consecutive. (got stuck as the ONLY armorer in a military police unit. Had to always be someone there to draw weapons for both field units and law enforcement units). Finally had a higher ranking sergeant step in and take over, and I worked under her. Bless her heart.


Honestly nursing is a REALLY nice job. I don't get what all of these wenches are complaining about that I work with. Literally do nothing but complain about pay or how hard the job is and gossip about each other like children. Nice ass pay, easy ass work. I just want more knowledge, I feel like the knowledge needed is very little, and I get bored.

 

[Alt+Doc]

Today, I finally admitted something incredibly difficult to myself: Medical School is not for me.

I am currently a first year Pre-Med Biology student. I volunteer in a Children's Hospital because I planned to become a Pediatrician. I applied to be a Medical Scribe to get further clinical experience. I've started looking for research opportunities. This is what I've always wanted to do.

However, I found myself having constant panic attacks and being prescribed antidepressants. I am unhappy. I do amazing in my biology courses, but I barely pass math and chemistry. I've been taking my stress out on those around me, and I have not been myself. Physicians that I speak to tell tales of being in school for 15 years, and I can't imagine a future for myself in their shoes. If I struggle now, I will not succeed in medical school. I study hard and I work hard, but not enough. Not enough to survive medical school.

I had an honest conversation with myself today and came to the conclusion that I choose my own happiness. The reason why I decided to pursue a career in the medical field to begin with was because I wish to combine my passion for biological sciences and the want to help and improve lives. I can do that in other ways besides being a doctor.

At last, I ask for your opinion: what would you do if you were me? I am incredibly lost, because I spent my whole life focusing on one option. I am currently thinking about changing my major to Nursing. Life is very strange at the moment.

Hello remmms,

Was reading your post and can completely understand your situation. I was like that when I first started out in pre-med. Scored well in my subjects but felt that medicine may not be for me. I stuck with it and finished. Mid career due to the burnout I took a step back and got into Clinical Research. I have been doing this for a while and I work much better hours and still make decent $$. It also gives me time with the family and also to breath and rethink things. If you have questions feel free to reach out to me.

 

[remmms]

Louisiana. And yeah I worked about 5 shifts a week, and there is no shortage of double emergency pay (20.00 an hour extra). Starting pay 24.50 an hour, 5.25 night diff, 5.00 weekend diff, and overtime. 5 12s a week is easily doable too. In the Army I was working 85 hours a week my last 2 years in, and only making 2200 a month. At one point I worked 20 hours a day for 22 days straight and the 4 hours off were not consecutive. (got stuck as the ONLY armorer in a military police unit. Had to always be someone there to draw weapons for both field units and law enforcement units). Finally had a higher ranking sergeant step in and take over, and I worked under her. Bless her heart.


Honestly nursing is a REALLY nice job. I don't get what all of these wenches are complaining about that I work with. Literally do nothing but complain about pay or how hard the job is and gossip about each other like children. Nice ass pay, easy ass work. I just want more knowledge, I feel like the knowledge needed is very little, and I get bored.

Would you say that your desire for further knowledge was your biggest motivator to go from RN to MD?

 

[remmms]

Hello remmms,

Was reading your post and can completely understand your situation. I was like that when I first started out in pre-med. Scored well in my subjects but felt that medicine may not be for me. I stuck with it and finished. Mid career due to the burnout I took a step back and got into Clinical Research. I have been doing this for a while and I work much better hours and still make decent $$. It also gives me time with the family and also to breath and rethink things. If you have questions feel free to reach out to me.

That is very interesting! I thoroughly enjoy my lab classes, so this is a fascinating career path. How did you get into Clinical Research? When you say that you stuck with it and finished, do you mean that you went through Medical School?

 

[FlavivirusProtease]

At last, I ask for your opinion: what would you do if you were me? I am incredibly lost, because I spent my whole life focusing on one option. I am currently thinking about changing my major to Nursing. Life is very strange at the moment.

Might be difficult to get into a nursing program at your same university. I can only speak for San Diego State University, (Which I've been told by nursing students at my old school is a top 15% program). But they don't allow switching into the nursing program. So you might be stuck either trying to switch schools or finish your major and apply for a 2 year nursing program for people with bachelors after graduating.

 

[Deleted member 737595]

When I said keep grinding and go AA, I meant Anesthesiologist Assistant, in case there were any confusions.


Sent from my iPhone using SDN mobile

What else could AA mean??

First off, I'm sorry you are feeling so lost and confused. It sucks when you have been planning for something but then start to think that it is not for you anymore. I would make an appointment at your school to speak to the career advisor (most have one). If they aren't available, I would at least try to speak to an academic advisor for advice.

Also, the first year of college is really overwhelming. It doesn't matter how great of a student you were in high school, college is a whole other ball game when it comes to studying and doing well (speaking as a straight A high school student who flunked out freshmen year). Are you studying the same as in high school, or differently? Have you been spending the recommended 2 hrs per hour of class time of dedicated studying (not working on assignments, but straight studying)? Do you have to cram before exams in a panic, or is the night before an easy review to solidify things? Going to office hours and tutoring for chemistry and math?

Given how studying for biology differs from chemistry and math (biology is more memorization, chemistry and math requires understanding the concepts and doing lots of practice problems), I would argue a trip to the student resource center/tutors to get study tips for those classes would be beneficial. What math class are you taking? Different levels of math also can be harder than you expected depending on how your brain thinks. Do you enjoy the subject matter for chemistry and math, but just do poor on exams and quizzes/find it too hard, or do you actually not like the subjects?

Have you looked into fixed versus growth mindset before? Just reading your post, I feel that you may be struggling with a fixed mindset (I have struggled and still struggle with having a fixed mindset.) It is easy for someone with a fixed mindset to decide that because they are doing poorly, because something is really hard, that must mean that they can't do it, it is IMPOSSIBLE, and that they should do something else, that is easier.

Have you done any recent shadowing? I'm not sure how far you are with volunteering at the Children's Hospital (if you are still doing At Your Service or if you have moved up to something with patient interaction and less standing around), but some more clinical exposure might help in giving you the inspiration to continue on the med school path if you so choose. I feel like the whole pre-med path is an example of extreme delayed gratification. You have to take all these courses, some you probably won't enjoy, do all these E.C.'s (which while are enjoyable, they are just another thing you need to do), if you volunteer at a hospital, you have to do hours and hours of non-patient work before you can move up, and it is hard to see how it relates to becoming a doctor besides checking a box. It can feel pointless, even though you know it serves a purpose. I don't know about everyone else, but I feel easily discouraged a lot (which I do think has to do with the whole fixed mindset thing). On days when I'm feeling overwhelmed and discouraged, I look up day in the life of a pediatrician videos on youtube (as I've had poor luck with shadowing, and while they skew to positive, they can be a good pick me up on a rough day).

It can make you want to go into a career that just requires a 4 yr degree, where your G.P.A. doesn't matter, and there are no E.C's needed.

Lastly, why exactly are you unhappy? It it unhappiness stemming from not feeling good enough, or is from forcing yourself in a course of study that you don't enjoy? Or something else?

Hopefully some of this helps. You don't need to answer all my questions, but just thought they might be useful to ask yourself (and are questions that I have asked myself, for the most part) I also love biology but struggle with chemistry, have had difficulty learning how to study for college, and want to be a pediatrician. I wouldn't tell yourself that just because you aren't doing well now, doesn't mean that you can't do well in medical school. I know a lot of people say that on here, but you are in your first year of college, which is a huge learning curve in regards to how to be a student.

Now, if it isn't a temporary feeling of "not good enough," but you actually realizing that you don't want to become a doctor anymore, there are so many other careers that help children (and some with biological sciences). Do you like psychology? If so, I would explore child life specialist (you can volunteer in that department) or child therapist (pHD/psyD or MFT/MSW). More medical, there is speech and language pathology (master's degree, really flexible, can work only with children, ability to own your own practice, really flexible career). I would definitely go to the career center and talk to them for sure though. Don't feel like that just because you have planned this path, that you can't change.

It is better to realize this now rather than when you have invested time down the road. Another option would be to take a year off of classes to give yourself a break and time to figure out what you want to do. Medical school will always be there.

Thank you for this obviously very well thought out and put together post. I think it really helps even in an online forum like this to hear someone reason through different options.

While I do agree that pre-med is bogus for the most part, I think in order to not only succeed as a pre-med but excel is to enjoy as many of the activities you do as possible, be it volunteering, research, academics, or artistic enrichment. The biggest mistake I see from the stereotypical pre-med is that they think they HAVE TO do a, b, c, d, e et cetera, versus thinking that they GET TO do a, b, c... etc. I feel blessed that I GET TO volunteer in the emergency department, even though I barely actually do anything, because who am I to be able to do anything as an untrained volunteer? I GET TO work with the homeless in taking care of their hygiene, because the poor bring me to do charitable works. Even if the initial intention WAS pre-medical for these activities, which I can unashamedly say that they ABSOLUTELY were, that intention can transform and further develop the desire to serve in an altruistic role as a physician.

Being able to think this way involves learning humility, which, contrary to popular belief does NOT mean to excel less or try to be less important, but means to know that even though you may fall time and time again, there is always hope and the possibility to rise higher and to serve society in a meaningful way.

Anyways, that was a bit rant-ISH, but I think you need to reassess your mindset if you will continue to pursue medicine. As @danistarr said, if mindset is clear and good and you still feel dismay to think about pursuing the path to physician, then you need to reassess career choice, as he mentioned.

 

[RNtoMD87]

Would you say that your desire for further knowledge was your biggest motivator to go from RN to MD?

Absofrickinlutely. I'm a huge nerd. I am completely satisfied with every aspect of nursing except that I feel unmotivated that I don't understand the why much more. And I want to know it on a deeply intimate scientific level. Anything less will not do.

Well that and the fact I hate pretentious old women trying to justify nurses being completely equal to physicians from anti patriarchial third wave feminism.

 

[bahdahboom]

Today, I finally admitted something incredibly difficult to myself: Medical School is not for me.

I am currently a first year Pre-Med Biology student. I volunteer in a Children's Hospital because I planned to become a Pediatrician. I applied to be a Medical Scribe to get further clinical experience. I've started looking for research opportunities. This is what I've always wanted to do.

However, I found myself having constant panic attacks and being prescribed antidepressants. I am unhappy. I do amazing in my biology courses, but I barely pass math and chemistry. I've been taking my stress out on those around me, and I have not been myself. Physicians that I speak to tell tales of being in school for 15 years, and I can't imagine a future for myself in their shoes. If I struggle now, I will not succeed in medical school. I study hard and I work hard, but not enough. Not enough to survive medical school.

I had an honest conversation with myself today and came to the conclusion that I choose my own happiness. The reason why I decided to pursue a career in the medical field to begin with was because I wish to combine my passion for biological sciences and the want to help and improve lives. I can do that in other ways besides being a doctor.

At last, I ask for your opinion: what would you do if you were me? I am incredibly lost, because I spent my whole life focusing on one option. I am currently thinking about changing my major to Nursing. Life is very strange at the moment.

I am currently an MD2 and you sound exactly like me from my freshman year. That was the year I was diagnosed with some anxiety issues and began mediciation. That was the year I hated my life, and it was a struggle for a while. Being pre-Med did not help. I gave up on it towards the end of my sophomore year and explored other options. I decided to restart my pre-Med plans during my junior year when I realized I didn’t have much of a plan B.


Please please please trust me when I say this. Pre med and medical school are NOT THE SAME. I HATED the cruel game of building my resume, crying over a C, getting nauseous at the thought of the MCAT and the dreaded application cycle I would never wish on anyone. I’m studying for Step 1 now and I would do this any day over doing premed again.

Don’t let your pre med experience dictate your desire for being a doctor. The only thing you need to ask yourself is, do I honestly want to be a physician? Don’t ask yourself if you want to endure Orgo, you don’t, no one does. Don’t ask yourself if you want to keep sacrificing to pass in physics, you don’t, no one does. Pre med is a horrendous mind game. But medical school A LOT better.

My response may not be what you want to hear, but it’s the truth. Pre med freaking sucks and I hope the curriculum nationwide gets revamped for the sake of young minds. Medical school is more work but it’s more relevant, enjoyable work.

Live the life no one wants now, so you can live the life everyone wants later . I don’t know you but if Medicine is what you want, I believe you can endure the struggle and come out better and stronger.

 

[RNtoMD87]

I'm excited to learn g chem and organic chem. Seems like some of the more useful classes one can learn. To clean my suppressor baffles I create acetate which reacts with the lead from the bullets to create lead acetate, and facilitates MUCH easier cleaning. (Just a pain to dispose of this hazardous waste sometimes).

Can't wait to learn more tricks.

 

[Select All That Apply]

What else could AA mean??

 

[FlavivirusProtease]

“Hi everyone. My name is FlavivirusProtease, and I’m an anesthesiology assistant.”

 

[Goro]

Well that's exactly my point. Studying for the MCAT doesn't realistically do anything. It doesn't make you smarter, knowledgable, or increase your skills. Yet we need it because adcoms need to judge us on it. So in a philosophical sense, it is a waste of time.

This statement is so foolish it's almost malicious. The MCAT is a high stakes, career deciding exam. If you don't think you can gain something by preparing for that, then you're pursuing the wrong profession.

 

[RNtoMD87]

This statement is so foolish it's almost malicious. The MCAT is a high stakes, career deciding exam. If you don't think you can gain something by preparing for that, then you're pursuing the wrong profession.

I don't think he's saying it's worthless to study period, I think he means on its own. As in the only point of studying the MCAT is to get into school. I don't think anyone would debate that though

 

[21Rush12]

“Hi everyone. My name is FlavivirusProtease, and I’m an anesthesiology assistant.”

Hi FlavivirusProtease, good share!

 

[Alt+Doc]

Would you say that your desire for further knowledge was your biggest motivator to go from RN to MD?

I never was an RN. I studied straight into becoming an MD. Cleared my mle exams and all, I worked in Internal Medicine. I have done research as an MD. I did take a short course to familiarize myself in Clinical Research . No matter how much you think you know you still need industry specific information. I joined a short course in NJ and shortly thereafter I got a job as a Clinical Researcher. I feel that this was a good choice. You get to travel, work your alottted hours, still be involved in a Clinical setting and have the weekends to yourself. Plus the earnings I can't complain about.

 

[LOLERs]

Well that's exactly my point. Studying for the MCAT doesn't realistically do anything. It doesn't make you smarter, knowledgable, or increase your skills. Yet we need it because adcoms need to judge us on it. So in a philosophical sense, it is a waste of time.

Sorry, but this statement is useless

 

[FlavivirusProtease]

You have to spend hours and hours studying for the MCAT (I personally think of the MCAT as a waste of time because studying for the MCAT doesn't make you smarter it just makes you able to take a test).

Did you really learn nothing about biology or chemistry or psychology while studying for the MCAT? There were no holes in your knowledge that you needed filled? You did zero content review throughout the whole thing?

 

[IlDestriero]

If you’re not learning anything by studying for the MCAT you probably don’t need to study. Just take it and crush it. See you at MGH.


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Il Destriero