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Another year. The same damn songs. I swear to God, whoever choses the music that is played in my pharmacy is on my permanent, all-time **** list. Like...Pitt...people that buy foreign cars...Steve Jobs...the dude that shot MLK...Hitler, I guess...even though he hasn't really wronged me directly...but anyway, its an exclusive elite list of *******s. And the ******* that chooses the songs played in my pharmacy is on the list. If I hear Frank Sinatra tell me its cold outside one more damn time I'm setting the William Penn National Forest on fire to warm the entire outside up enough to get him to shut the hell up. STOP PLAYING CHRISTMAS SONGS. THEY GNAW AT MY SKULL LIKE A BRAIN PARASITE.
I went out today to try to buy some K-cups for my coffee maker. You ****ing *******s bought all of the sleepytime tea. How the hell am I supposed to go to sleep now? Do they make Ambien K-Cups? No, of course not. While I'm at it, why the **** is everyone buying each other a ****ing coffee maker for Christmas? I saw like 14 people in line with their stack of 20% off coupons at bed bath and beyond holding that damned mr coffee keurig brewer.
But back to my tea, I had to Amazon Prime that ****. Seriously. This is supposed to be a recession. As in, I should be able to buy my stupid little unit dose tea thingy because everyone else isn't buying **** in general. But noooooo...we have a month set aside where everyone goes ape**** buying crap for each other they don't need. Your ****ing kid doesn't need an iPad. Half of Americans are legally considered poor for Christ's sake, yet this damned annual charade continues. Stop not acting poor, America. I don't give a **** what time of the year it is. Continuing this constant consumerist **** is what got us all into trouble in the first place.
What else has annoyed me.
Oh, right, the douchebag with the lights. There is this ******* on Butler Pike up here in my neck of the woods that has this gargantuan light display. This thing is ridiculous. However I could attempt to describe it doesn't do its ridiculousness justice. His electricity bill could probably feed an African village for a week. That's probably not an exaggeration.
Well, the SOB decided to live on a busy road that happens to be on my way to work. Somehow, some way, this public nuisance has his own road signs and crossing guards at night. So every night I'm sitting there trying to get to work and all of the local ******s that are still amused after their 30th or 50th or whateverth Christmas by blinking lightbulbs are slowing down, pulling over, parking, pulling into traffic, crossing the road, etc ,etc. I've had enough. I started screaming obscenities at these asshats from my car to get the hell out of the road a few times last week. And why do I have to deal with this ****? Christmas. Why the hell do you people do the same **** every year? Why don't you get tired of it? It's unnatural! Christmas lights are stupid! Blah!
To hell with this damned holiday. Let's be clear. It's not a real holiday in the first place. It's totally made up whether or not you believe in a specific religion or religions. It's a borrowed, synthetic tradition that is filled with Pagan symbolism (this fact actually cracks me up more than anything.) At this point, all its doing is making people go further into debt spending money they don't have on **** nobody needs. I know that it's a boon for narcotics sales. I've never seen Percocet fly off the shelves of my narc safe like I have the last few weeks. People need to be high as hell to tolerate this ****, I guess.
We just need to cancel this **** for *one* year. That's all I'm asking. Let's just not do it one year. I guaran****ingtee you that everybody would love December so much more that Christmas would be relegated to being a third tier holiday. It would be like Ash Wednesday or something (which is a much more symbolically important Christian holiday, mind you...but people don't spend money for absolutely no reason that day, so American Christians haven't been brainwashed to make it seem important.)
But, alas, I know it won't happen. Thankfully, the new job has really let me stay away from Christmas everything. Sleep all day...go to work...come home...sleep...get up...go to work...continue not being exposed to xmas crap...come home...repeat. My week off, unfortunately, is torturous whenever I leave the house...but it is much more tolerable when I don't have to interact with other humans during the work week. I find myself much less depressed because of it.
But anyway, what's my point? As usual, Christmas sucks and if you cheerfully celebrate Christmas you are a social pariah. Celebrate Boxing Day instead.
I hope all of your Christmas trees burn down and everyone that's ever released a Christmas album gets throat cancer.
I went out today to try to buy some K-cups for my coffee maker. You ****ing *******s bought all of the sleepytime tea. How the hell am I supposed to go to sleep now? Do they make Ambien K-Cups? No, of course not. While I'm at it, why the **** is everyone buying each other a ****ing coffee maker for Christmas? I saw like 14 people in line with their stack of 20% off coupons at bed bath and beyond holding that damned mr coffee keurig brewer.
But back to my tea, I had to Amazon Prime that ****. Seriously. This is supposed to be a recession. As in, I should be able to buy my stupid little unit dose tea thingy because everyone else isn't buying **** in general. But noooooo...we have a month set aside where everyone goes ape**** buying crap for each other they don't need. Your ****ing kid doesn't need an iPad. Half of Americans are legally considered poor for Christ's sake, yet this damned annual charade continues. Stop not acting poor, America. I don't give a **** what time of the year it is. Continuing this constant consumerist **** is what got us all into trouble in the first place.
What else has annoyed me.
Oh, right, the douchebag with the lights. There is this ******* on Butler Pike up here in my neck of the woods that has this gargantuan light display. This thing is ridiculous. However I could attempt to describe it doesn't do its ridiculousness justice. His electricity bill could probably feed an African village for a week. That's probably not an exaggeration.
Well, the SOB decided to live on a busy road that happens to be on my way to work. Somehow, some way, this public nuisance has his own road signs and crossing guards at night. So every night I'm sitting there trying to get to work and all of the local ******s that are still amused after their 30th or 50th or whateverth Christmas by blinking lightbulbs are slowing down, pulling over, parking, pulling into traffic, crossing the road, etc ,etc. I've had enough. I started screaming obscenities at these asshats from my car to get the hell out of the road a few times last week. And why do I have to deal with this ****? Christmas. Why the hell do you people do the same **** every year? Why don't you get tired of it? It's unnatural! Christmas lights are stupid! Blah!
To hell with this damned holiday. Let's be clear. It's not a real holiday in the first place. It's totally made up whether or not you believe in a specific religion or religions. It's a borrowed, synthetic tradition that is filled with Pagan symbolism (this fact actually cracks me up more than anything.) At this point, all its doing is making people go further into debt spending money they don't have on **** nobody needs. I know that it's a boon for narcotics sales. I've never seen Percocet fly off the shelves of my narc safe like I have the last few weeks. People need to be high as hell to tolerate this ****, I guess.
We just need to cancel this **** for *one* year. That's all I'm asking. Let's just not do it one year. I guaran****ingtee you that everybody would love December so much more that Christmas would be relegated to being a third tier holiday. It would be like Ash Wednesday or something (which is a much more symbolically important Christian holiday, mind you...but people don't spend money for absolutely no reason that day, so American Christians haven't been brainwashed to make it seem important.)
But, alas, I know it won't happen. Thankfully, the new job has really let me stay away from Christmas everything. Sleep all day...go to work...come home...sleep...get up...go to work...continue not being exposed to xmas crap...come home...repeat. My week off, unfortunately, is torturous whenever I leave the house...but it is much more tolerable when I don't have to interact with other humans during the work week. I find myself much less depressed because of it.
But anyway, what's my point? As usual, Christmas sucks and if you cheerfully celebrate Christmas you are a social pariah. Celebrate Boxing Day instead.
I hope all of your Christmas trees burn down and everyone that's ever released a Christmas album gets throat cancer.
