Hi SDN,
I'm not sure why I'm writing this as I can't change anything, but I need some reassurance that I didn't make a flop of a decision and possibly some good would come out of this.
I'm a junior now and I turned down a really prestigious research opportunity in SEA this summer. The job literally fell into my lap by some work of fate (long story). And it's something I was so passionate about. I was able to work under a doctor there on a my senior thesis project. It feels like a crime to turn it down.
...So I turned it down. I think you would call me stupid and you have a right to, but I decided to stay in the states to take a class, do some light research here, and study as much as I can to take the MCATs in September. I am already taking a gap year. If I were to go overseas, I would have to push MCAT studying into January or the spring semester and would just have a lot going on during the school year to really adequately study.
But sitting in class...and being here, it's really daunting on me that I could have made a really big mistake. It's not like I can take back the offer that I rejected. But it hasn't been sitting well that I really let go of an opportunity that could have been life-changing. I'm not in a race, but it really feels like this is what it has become - to get the end goal of medical school. Also, I love my family but I am first-gen, so it's really hard to just find some sort of guidance. Or have clarity. I love my mom, but if I had gotten some form of support or reassurance from her, I would have taken the leap of faith and worried about MCATs later. I just feel like I haven't done all the things I wanted to do. And yes, medical school is the end goal, but I want to learn and do a lot more and sit back and not feel like I'm in a huge rat race.
Does this make sense? I just feel a little disillusioned by the system, I guess. Sorry I had to rant, SDN!
I'm not sure why I'm writing this as I can't change anything, but I need some reassurance that I didn't make a flop of a decision and possibly some good would come out of this.
I'm a junior now and I turned down a really prestigious research opportunity in SEA this summer. The job literally fell into my lap by some work of fate (long story). And it's something I was so passionate about. I was able to work under a doctor there on a my senior thesis project. It feels like a crime to turn it down.
...So I turned it down. I think you would call me stupid and you have a right to, but I decided to stay in the states to take a class, do some light research here, and study as much as I can to take the MCATs in September. I am already taking a gap year. If I were to go overseas, I would have to push MCAT studying into January or the spring semester and would just have a lot going on during the school year to really adequately study.
But sitting in class...and being here, it's really daunting on me that I could have made a really big mistake. It's not like I can take back the offer that I rejected. But it hasn't been sitting well that I really let go of an opportunity that could have been life-changing. I'm not in a race, but it really feels like this is what it has become - to get the end goal of medical school. Also, I love my family but I am first-gen, so it's really hard to just find some sort of guidance. Or have clarity. I love my mom, but if I had gotten some form of support or reassurance from her, I would have taken the leap of faith and worried about MCATs later. I just feel like I haven't done all the things I wanted to do. And yes, medical school is the end goal, but I want to learn and do a lot more and sit back and not feel like I'm in a huge rat race.
Does this make sense? I just feel a little disillusioned by the system, I guess. Sorry I had to rant, SDN!
