I need some serious advice!

[Perseverance7779311]

Hi guys. Right now Im taking Bio. Physics II, and Chemistry II as a post bac student. I work 16 hours a week. To some, this may not seem like a lot of hours to work, but for me, its too many hours. I just wish that i could free up some hours so that i would have more time to study. I currently work all day tuesday and thursday for my mom's company. I told her about my situation and told her that i don't think that i can work as much as 16 hours and she became upset, which I understand. THis is my last chance at doing well in these classes and i don't know what to do. My mom won't let me move back home with her so i don't have a choice but to work so that i can pay for my rent. However, my financial aid refund check should be coming soon, which should cover my rent for the next 6 months. Should i quit working with my mom? I know she would be a little upset. Thanks guys.

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[hopefuldoc97239]

If your mother if placing her business needs above your future then her priorities seem a little bit out of whack.


Here's my "tough love"-style advice:

You need to get your head in the game! Your post-bac grades are a key factor for admissions, because if you have an upward trend it can be used to forgive lower GPA from your undergrad, but if you have a downward trend then they'll worry that your performance is going to keep going down.

If you prioritize keeping your mother happy over getting into medical school, then don't be surprised if you don't get into medical school.

 

[RFHawks]

I agree with hopeful. I was in a similar situation and had to reduce hours from 16 to 4 to keep competitive in those classes. I used loans to help pay rent. But I think it was worth it.

 

[Kahr]

Ditto to the above, those classes need to be your top priority, no matter what it costs you to focus on them. Something else to keep in mind is that you're going to continue to run into things like this down the road, the MCAT being probably the next big one. It really is too bad that your mom isn't being more supportive...

 

[mafunk]

I'm probably going to get flamed for this, but here is my comment

If one is working 14 hours per week and taking the described three classes with NO other responsibility, then it should doable. If it is not doable I would wonder about one's ability to make it through medical school and a residency.

If one is working 14 hours per week, taking the described three classes, AND has other responsibilities or commitments, then I can see how one might need to cut back.

 

[EdLongshanks]

Hi guys. Right now Im taking Bio. Physics II, and Chemistry II as a post bac student. I work 16 hours a week. To some, this may not seem like a lot of hours to work, but for me, its too many hours. I just wish that i could free up some hours so that i would have more time to study. I currently work all day tuesday and thursday for my mom's company. I told her about my situation and told her that i don't think that i can work as much as 16 hours and she became upset, which I understand. THis is my last chance at doing well in these classes and i don't know what to do. My mom won't let me move back home with her so i don't have a choice but to work so that i can pay for my rent. However, my financial aid refund check should be coming soon, which should cover my rent for the next 6 months. Should i quit working with my mom? I know she would be a little upset. Thanks guys.

This is a very strange reaction for a mother and I'm a little surprised at it. I can envision 2 reasons for it.

1) She is a selfish, unnatural mother (unlikely)
2) She doesn't believe that you will really be a doctor, and believes that your classes are unimportant and waste of time. She believes that her company is your future and she's already overpaying you to stay there.

Now, you could quit. If you do, you're likely finished as far as financial help from your mother, unless you actually get into medical school, in which case her attitude will dramatically change.

But her attitude may have some basis in fact. If you are having problems with 12 hours of (admittedly, hard) classes with 16 hours work, then I don't think that 2 extra 8 hour shift study hours during the week will help you. I would suggest, instead, that you give up some of the time that you spend relaxing and watching TV. I, currently, am taking 19 hours of (much harder) classes and spending all day Friday volunteering at a clinic. I view this as a small mini-exercise preparation for medical school. My feeling is that you should adopt this same attitude and give up all of your other leisure activities for the next 10 weeks in order to pass these classes with A's.

 

[Perseverance7779311]

This is a very strange reaction for a mother and I'm a little surprised at it. I can envision 2 reasons for it.

1) She is a selfish, unnatural mother (unlikely)
2) She doesn't believe that you will really be a doctor, and believes that your classes are unimportant and waste of time. She believes that her company is your future and she's already overpaying you to stay there.

Now, you could quit. If you do, you're likely finished as far as financial help from your mother, unless you actually get into medical school, in which case her attitude will dramatically change.

But her attitude may have some basis in fact. If you are having problems with 12 hours of (admittedly, hard) classes with 16 hours work, then I don't think that 2 extra 8 hour shift study hours during the week will help you. I would suggest, instead, that you give up some of the time that you spend relaxing and watching TV. I, currently, am taking 19 hours of (much harder) classes and spending all day Friday volunteering at a clinic. I view this as a small mini-exercise preparation for medical school. My feeling is that you should adopt this same attitude and give up all of your other leisure activities for the next 10 weeks in order to pass these classes with A's.

Well i appreciate your response; however, maybe you're more able to handle a tough schedule, but I can honestly admit that working 16 hours just isn't fore me. Some people need more time to study than other people. Just like in med school, some people may require 3 hours a day to study whereas others need 5 or 6 hours. And no, i rarely do any leisure activities since i don't have the time because my main focus is on school.

 

[EdLongshanks]

Well i appreciate your response; however, maybe you're more able to handle a tough schedule, but I can honestly admit that working 16 hours just isn't fore me. Some people need more time to study than other people. Just like in med school, some people may require 3 hours a day to study whereas others need 5 or 6 hours. And no, i rarely do any leisure activities since i don't have the time because my main focus is on school.

Everyone reads themselves into the posts on these forums, as if we were not individuals. In this case, I empathize with your mother. If I were her, I would be concerned about an older son is taking only a fairly light load in school and not doing very well. Even though it is common, and almost expected, that a student will do some work toward supporting himself, he wishes to do almost no work in this way. I, as a parent, would do the same thing as her, which is to strongly attempt to persuade, and even force, you to support yourself at a job with flexible hours while attending school.

Even though your mother may not share your dreams, she may have your best interest in mind and might deserve some attention.

 

[lsu hopeful]

Hi guys. Right now Im taking Bio. Physics II, and Chemistry II as a post bac student. I work 16 hours a week. To some, this may not seem like a lot of hours to work, but for me, its too many hours. I just wish that i could free up some hours so that i would have more time to study. I currently work all day tuesday and thursday for my mom's company. I told her about my situation and told her that i don't think that i can work as much as 16 hours and she became upset, which I understand. THis is my last chance at doing well in these classes and i don't know what to do. My mom won't let me move back home with her so i don't have a choice but to work so that i can pay for my rent. However, my financial aid refund check should be coming soon, which should cover my rent for the next 6 months. Should i quit working with my mom? I know she would be a little upset. Thanks guys.

I'm shocked at the responses you've received and I'll give you a tough answer in saying that there are numerous people just on these boards that are working 40+ hours a week and taking those same classes, some more, some with children, so suck it up and bleed a little. Looking at how hard some people are sacrificing for this, you have no excuse even if the resources you've mentioned in your story are the only ones available to you, which I highly doubt.

 

[glamqueen]

I'm shocked at the responses you've received and I'll give you a tough answer in saying that there are numerous people just on these boards that are working 40+ hours a week and taking those same classes, some more, some with children, so suck it up and bleed a little. Looking at how hard some people are sacrificing for this, you have no excuse even if the resources you've mentioned in your story are the only ones available to you, which I highly doubt.

Well, I'm shocked that you are shocked at these responses. I'm a 2nd-year med student, and when I was in undergrad and taking those courses -the courses were weed-out, designed to try to get people to fail, and the labs took forever. I could not have worked and kept my head above water and done my volunteer work. Period. That said, I'm in the top 25% of my class right now, AND I had a baby during medical school. I'm doing pretty well, and I'm definitely not struggling!

OP - look, this isn't medical school. You aren't proving yourself to a bunch of SDN posters who apparently can handle more than I could, which doesn't mean they are better than me. Or you. If you can't handle working and taking those courses - don't do it. Don't let people make you feel like you aren't going to be academically ok in medical school for it either. Ridiculous. Every college teaches these courses differently, and the one I went to was out of control hard with them. If yours is the same, and you want to pull A's - pull those A's doing what you need to do. Grades in undegrad are forever when you apply to medical school. Live on your financial aid? Yes, I would do that. I would explain to your mom that you want to go to medical school - not work forever in the family business. You run your own life - and it might be time to cut the purse strings. Sometimes family isn't ready to accept that their son or daughter has chosen a different life path than the family business. I saw this in some people in undergrad too. It's your choice. You need to put this goal of medical school first if this is what you want. So that means prioritizing A's.

Who gives a flying frick frack if people on this board can work 60 hours a week, take pilot lessons on the side, be in the Guard, have a family with six kids, volunteer for three ER's and still take 20 hours a week and pull straight A's. It was harder for me to get used to those science classes, because I came from an artsy background. Guess what? I did what I had to do to get used to the load, and by the time I graduated with my second degree in microbiology - I was fine, and I was able to manage it better. And I am doing great in medical school!

Please...for the love of Batman...if you need more time to study - yes, for Pete's sake 16 extra hours a week would make a difference. It does to me in medical school, so I imagine you would do better in freaking undergrad!

Stop listening to these insane responses and do what you need to do.

And seriously, AS A MOM MYSELF - your mom wants you to BE HAPPY. If going to med school would make you happy, sit down and have a come to Jesus talk with her. I promise if you spell out what your goals are perhaps better - she would understand. If my son told me that he needed to quit the family business in order to study more and go to medical school - I would probably pat him on the back and encourage him to go for it!

 

[EdLongshanks]

Well, I'm shocked that you are shocked at these responses. I'm a 2nd-year med student, and when I was in undergrad and taking those courses -the courses were weed-out, designed to try to get people to fail, and the labs took forever. I could not have worked and kept my head above water and done my volunteer work. Period. That said, I'm in the top 25% of my class right now, AND I had a baby during medical school. I'm doing pretty well, and I'm definitely not struggling!

Well, that's a different story than I've every heard before. You're the voice of experience that those courses can be harder than Med School, but it is hard to believe. Is it possible that you learned study skills that you previously did not have?

The reason that I do not go along with this advice is precisely because of the mother's attitude. Mothers know their sons pretty well. She knows if he is working or slacking. I have a daughter who is taking only 12 hours of courses, and I am not encouraging her to get a job, because I know that she is studying hard. I find it hard to believe that a mother would literally put her business above her son's college career. I know that there are unnatural mothers out there, but I don't get the impression that this is one of them.

 

[glamqueen]

Well, that's a different story than I've every heard before. You're the voice of experience that those courses can be harder than Med School, but it is hard to believe. Is it possible that you learned study skills that you previously did not have?

The reason that I do not go along with this advice is precisely because of the mother's attitude. Mothers know their sons pretty well. She knows if he is working or slacking. I have a daughter who is taking only 12 hours of courses, and I am not encouraging her to get a job, because I know that she is studying hard. I find it hard to believe that a mother would literally put her business above her son's college career. I know that there are unnatural mothers out there, but I don't get the impression that this is one of them.

They are not easier - by far not easier, but they are structured differently. Medical school is by far the hardest school I've ever done, but all three of those courses plus labs is a different kind of beast, and in undergrad before you've experienced the firehose of medical school - you may need all your time to get their busy work of lab done plus the studying for lecture and the many many tests that all pile on top of each other. It's just different.

Many many mothers don't understand rigorous classes and school. This is unfortunate, but sadly, I have a mother that doesn't understand AT ALL how hard medical school is and how much time it takes. She doesn't understand why I can't play host to her visits as often as she wants to come to see my son. It's because I have to continue doing well and studying. It isn't that moms don't think their kids can do it sometimes - sometimes it is just becuause they don't understand.

And no - no study skills were learned. But weed out undergrad courses have a different mentality than other harder, more rational and applicable sciences like medical school or even some of my more advanced microbiology courses from undergrad. You'll see what I mean next year (just to utter the most irritating sentence in the world, but hopefully it doesn't irritate you, because you are ACCEPTED).

 

[Perseverance7779311]

Well, that's a different story than I've every heard before. You're the voice of experience that those courses can be harder than Med School, but it is hard to believe. Is it possible that you learned study skills that you previously did not have?

The reason that I do not go along with this advice is precisely because of the mother's attitude. Mothers know their sons pretty well. She knows if he is working or slacking. I have a daughter who is taking only 12 hours of courses, and I am not encouraging her to get a job, because I know that she is studying hard. I find it hard to believe that a mother would literally put her business above her son's college career. I know that there are unnatural mothers out there, but I don't get the impression that this is one of them.

I am a female!!!

 

[EdLongshanks]

... You'll see what I mean next year (just to utter the most irritating sentence in the world, but hopefully it doesn't irritate you, because you are ACCEPTED).

I bow to your experience.

 

[EdLongshanks]

I am a female!!!

I couldn't tell, the name was androgynous.... sorry.

 

[Perseverance7779311]

Well, that's a different story than I've every heard before. You're the voice of experience that those courses can be harder than Med School, but it is hard to believe. Is it possible that you learned study skills that you previously did not have?

The reason that I do not go along with this advice is precisely because of the mother's attitude. Mothers know their sons pretty well. She knows if he is working or slacking. I have a daughter who is taking only 12 hours of courses, and I am not encouraging her to get a job, because I know that she is studying hard. I find it hard to believe that a mother would literally put her business above her son's college career. I know that there are unnatural mothers out there, but I don't get the impression that this is one of them.

To be honest, you dont know what my work ethic is. I am a very hard working student. Do you think I want to work less than 16 hours for my health, no. I feel as though that it would be best for me to work less hours so that i can dedicate all my time to getting into med school. I wish i could go back to working 40 hours a week and not have to struggle financially. However, i have put everything on the line for my dream, which is to purse med school. You even said that you are not encouraging your daughter to work with her 12 hour course load. You said she is hard working, well so am I. And yes, my mother does know that i am a very diligent student.

You are being hypocritical, you say that you dont blame my mom because i should be supporting myself through school yet you don't even encourage your own daughter to work, who is taking 12 credits.

 

[EdLongshanks]

You are being hypocritical, you say that you dont blame my mom because i should be supporting myself through school yet you don't even encourage your own daughter who is taking 12 credits.

I'm a parent of young adults, I empathize with parents who are trying to guide their children.

 

[crazycooljoel]

Dominique,

You know your situation best. There are two sides and almost everyone is right, respectively. However, I would agree that if you need to quit the job and live off FASFA, that might be what decides whether you go to medical school or not. Is it worth it? That depends on how much you really want to be a physician. If I were in the situation I would live off FASFA and student loans and maybe live in a tent if I couldn't afford it just to get the A's, although, my wife would kill me if we lived in a tent so I can get a couple of A's. This is all situational and opinionated according to each individual. Granted, some folks can remember everything they read and rarely study to get A's, some can't do that, blah blah. Do what works best for you and your situation.

 

[katiemaude]

Remember you're asking this question of a bunch of other nontrad pre-meds/med students who have juggled families, work and school, among other responsibilities, so working part-time doesn't seem that bad to a lot of us. If you're young and this is the first time you've juggled this type of load, it's going to seem harder for you.

Btw, I say this with respect for what you're doing... I work ~15 hrs a week, and it's not enough to make a huge financial impact or look awesome on my resume. I would love to get those hours back but I no longer qualify for federal loans. I need every cent. I'm taking physics II and orgo II plus an MCAT class 6 hrs a week. I volunteer 4 hrs. I freelance in my old profession about 10 hrs a week. I own a home and have to do all the cleaning, shopping, cooking, laundry, etc. No spouse or parents to help. I don't have kids though, so there's something!

It's your mom and your life. You've got to do what's best for you. If not working for a semester or two during school won't kill you financially and irreparably harm your relationship with your mom (because it leaves her stranded or whatever), than there's not a big risk in quitting. I'd try to give her notice the way I would any employer and if your help is a matter of her business sinking or swimming, reconsider. Give her time to find a replacement as you would with any employer who's treated you well. I would be careful not to take advantage of the fact she's your mom, by quitting with no notice. It's not good practice for the real world.