I think I screwed up.

[deleted451730]

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Long story short: I am a Junior, messed up a class freshman year, panicked, changed my major sophomore year, hated it, changed back to premed junior year and royally screwed up. I took Organic over the summer and got a C, but I expected more from myself than that and then I got a D. My school keeps the most recent grade so I am stuck with the D. Now I am going to have to take it again but probably can't get in the class until the Fall.

I finally came to terms with the fact that I am extremely depressed, and it is really affecting my abilities to concentrate. I am working on getting that under control, but I am worried that I am screwed with school. All I have ever wanted is to be a doctor and I am freaking out that I ruined it. Would I be better off just starting over at a different school? I don't know what to do. Has anyone been in this situation? I am not looking for any "you can never be a doctor". I know it looks that way, but I finally got myself figured out and I am fixing my problems. I will become a doctor, I am just lost on what to do right now. Thanks for the help.

Hey AmIThereYet, keep chugging along. I know it sucks when life seems to drag you down like that, but if you've always wanted to be a doctor, you will be. If you look at the bright side, for one, your changing majors and returning to be a premed shows you found at least one thing you know you didn't want to pursue (your major sophomore year).

Don't beat yourself down. Is there perhaps something you can zone in on as to why you did poorly in orgo? Maybe something was going on in your life that affected you. Or maybe it was the professor/teaching style. Or maybe you spent too much time concentrating on orgo/school. Sometimes just taking a break and returning to studying is really helpful.

If this whole situation is making you extremely depressed as you wrote, don't blame yourself. The process is long and arduous. Just because you had this one stumbling block doesn't mean you're not cut out to be a doctor. Perhaps, try coming up with a list of reasons why you believe things didn't work out, chart another column of ways you can improve upon your app, and then formulate an action plan. It may take you an extra year to strengthen your app at this time, but consider that a precious gift of time to spend reaffirming your decision and just relaxing with those around you another year. I hear countless times of people who rushed straight from undergrad into med school (or professional/grad school) and regretted not having one last year of recuperating before never being given that chance again.

Merry Christmas!