I wish real life was like SDN!

[millepora]

This pre-medical forum is the definitely one of the most blunt outspoken crowd of people I have come across. The more I read through these threads the worst I see people can get on here. Anyway, real life is just a bunch of people who never say anything negative to your face (way to much sugar-coating). A pre-med student can get through school with a 2.5 and still have optimism about going to medical school, because no one ever has guts to tell him the reality of the situation. Behind our protected computer screens, on here you really get to see the unmasked personality.

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[spyderefs]

 

[Contrarian]

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[vin5cent0]

It's not SDN, it's the internet dude. I have a much easier time telling someone on here they have no chances since I don't know them and don't have to deal with any emotions afterward. In person, it's a lot harder..

 

[CoolWhipp]

zOWNED!!! ^^

The truth is, real life wouldn't work if it was like SDN. If people stopped sugar coating and bull****ing, all social systems would collapse. Fire would rain from the sky.

Do.. You.. Know.. What.. I.. Am.. Saying?

 

[175961]

This pre-medical forum is the definitely one of the most blunt outspoken crowd of people I have come across. The more I read through these threads the worst I see people can get on here. Anyway, real life is just a bunch of people who never say anything negative to your face (way to much sugar-coating). A pre-med student can get through school with a 2.5 and still have optimism about going to medical school, because no one ever has guts to tell him the reality of the situation. Behind our protected computer screens, on here you really get to see the unmasked personality.

man, your english is HORRIBLE....its not "to" the way you mean it, its "too".

wow, you're right, that was easier

 

[chief illiniwek]

Yeah, I'm blunt in person too and some people really don't like it. The type of people that I want to be around appreciate it though. I think a lot of people are afraid to speak their minds for fear of being disliked...and on anonymous forums you start to see how people really are. So many people say things on forums that they would deny in real life and would never admit to. Stupid phonies.

you think that "the way people really are" is how they act when on-line? it makes alot more sense to say the opposite, because people have been communicating face-to-face for thousands of years, but only like this for a few decades now.

on another note, i would also consider myself an exception to this rule. i would have said something similar if we were face-to-face right now, but i probably would have subconsciously rolled my eyes too.

 

[MedicineNutt]

I've been lurking SDN for 3 years...and I visit off and on...once a month or once every few/several months. The crowd on SDN Pre-Med forum has definitely grown more blunt over the years. However, other subforums on this website have stayed the same and are less blunt about things. Bluntness = one of my pet peeves. It's beyond annoying...it's ridiculous.

 

[Mopp22]

In most situations, you're more likely to get an honest response by anonymous people that don't feel a need to hold back.

That would be so useful in real life sometimes.

 

[anonymousername]

there are already enough premed dicks in real life, no need to pray for more

 

[randombetch]

there are already enough premed dicks in real life, no need to pray for more

 

[Slowpoke]

there are times for bluntness. one of those times would be to lay down the law when someone parades around wanting to go to medical school with a abysmal GPA.

 

[mrivera]

Most people are two-faced... I'm actually seven-faced, but thats just me

 

[Sammich117]

there are already enough premed dicks in real life, no need to pray for more

 

[mrivera]

there are already enough premed dicks in real life, no need to pray for more

why cant we be friends, why cant we be friends why cant we be friends, why cant we be friends why cant we be friends, why cant we be friends why cant we be friends, why cant we be friends why cant we be friends, why cant we be friends why cant we be friends, why cant we be friends why cant we be friends, why cant we be friends why cant we be friends, why cant we be friends why cant we be friends, why cant we be friends why cant we be friends, why cant we be friends why cant we be friends, why cant we be friends why cant we be friends, why cant we be friends why cant we be friends, why cant we be friends why cant we be friends, why cant we be friends why cant we be friends, why cant we be friends

 

[findlife]

ok, so, yes, bluntness has its benefits (such as adding a dose of reality), but this perspective strikes me as naive.

• people aren't their normal selves online (i, for one, am overly caustic, because being on the web depersonalizes things)
• sugar-coating has its uses too - its the way by which people relate to each other - by sugar coating, people choose constructiveness and positivity over focusing on eveyr little caustic detail. if everyone was blunt all the time, then society would implode into a spiral of negativity - a "he says, she says, now i feel bad" circle and people would spend their time trying to fix minute details. bluntness assigns responsibility - it makes people want to resolve their situations - which can be a good thing, but not always
• these are just a few reasons, but really i could make a list that goes on forever.

being blunt all the time makes no sense at all and just makes you look rude and immature. there are times for bluntness, but grown ups learn tact. tact is the method by which words are communicated strategically and powerfully in order to achieve the greatest constructive outcome. sometimes that means being blunt (like the example the OP described about the daydreaming premed), but sometimes silence is better than bluntness, and sometimes sugar coating is better than bluntness. why? because bluntness is not always the most constructive choice.
(i'm just being blunt. heh)

 

[adele87]

I wish real life was like SDN!

why would you ever
ever
ever
ever
ever
ever
[...]
ever
say that

 

[Jolt21]

Bluntness = one of my pet peeves. It's beyond annoying...it's ridiculous.

you want people to lie to you? why?

i'm just as honest in real life. people know me for that too. but it's great b/c my friends know they can talk to me about something and i'll give it to them straight. sugar-coating is for people living in a fantasy land. do you think adcoms aren't blunt when they stamp a fat "rejected" on your app?

life isn't fairies and unicorns. i dont get how bluntness is a pet peeve.

 

[csmittyB]

you want people to lie to you? why?

i'm just as honest in real life. people know me for that too. but it's great b/c my friends know they can talk to me about something and i'll give it to them straight. sugar-coating is for people living in a fantasy land. do you think adcoms aren't blunt when they stamp a fat "rejected" on your app?

life isn't fairies and unicorns. i dont get how bluntness is a pet peeve.

See post 19 which discusses tact. Have you noticed that rejections letters don't say "Congrats, you are rejected looser!!! Thanks for the secondary fee."

 

[Eyti]

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[Myuu]

I would not say that what you see online is necessarily an accurate portrayal of a person's personality. Its a different culture online than it is in the physical world. I think that because we are all here with the intent to actually get a dialogue going on is the main difference between a forum and when you happen to start talking with people in person.

Looking ahead, I think I'd prefer working with an SDNer over a non-SDNer. In my mind its fo social reasons.

Is that because you would have an already-established pseudo-relationship with that person?

 

[riceman04]

I've been lurking SDN for 3 years...and I visit off and on...once a month or once every few/several months. The crowd on SDN Pre-Med forum has definitely grown more blunt over the years. However, other subforums on this website have stayed the same and are less blunt about things. Bluntness = one of my pet peeves. It's beyond annoying...it's ridiculous.

You must be a southerner...

j/k...kind of...

 

[Eyti]

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[brianmed]

If some people have a 2.75 GPA then let them know that getting into medical school in the US may be difficult. But if that's truthfully their dream then there are other options- DO or abroad....

Theres a difference between being blunt and being a hurtful influence on someone than to motivate and inspire and show them that success can come to them- even if its in ways that they least suspect.

The prevailing attitudes here are in line with why many medical students have low sympathy for their patients and it was disheartening to read

 

[zinciest]

I think that this site is a great source of information, but some attitudes aren't too great. It's not bluntness exactly, but just being mean. When somebody says something that others perceive to be dumb, they're called a *****, a ******, etc.. It's kind of a drawback of this site.

 

[spyderefs]

When somebody says something that others perceive to be dumb, they're called a *****, a ******, etc.. I'm glad that people aren't that willing to be cruel in real life.

I'm pretty sure people still do that in real life, and in worse ways than hurting your feelings.

 

[zinciest]

I'm pretty sure people still do that in real life, and in worse ways than hurting your feelings.

I've not run into too many people who feel totally okay with calling people ******s or *****s.

 

[spyderefs]

When somebody says something that others perceive to be dumb, they're called a *****, a ******, etc.. I'm glad that people aren't that willing to be cruel in real life.

I've not run into too many people who feel totally okay with calling people ******s or *****s.

Really? Many would give no thoughts in calling you a ****** or a ***** or perhaps even blow your head off when you do something that they perceive to be dumb...

 

[apumic]

Part of the thing online is that tact doesn't work as well when things are only typed. There are simply fewer shades of grey without tone and body language to add to the meaning of words.

OTOH, I do think it would be a good idea for all of us, myself included, to tone down the sarcasm and overbearing level of bluntness quite a bit. I suspect some of us simply get a little annoyed when there are multiple of the same "I wuz a bad student and have a <3.0 GPA but wanna be a dokter sooooooo bad; where do you think I can go with my 2.5/22?" posts all the time. Those people often get a combination of extreme posts -- some are definitely overly "inspirational" (read: giving false hope) while others often try to balance that with a reality check. Perhaps we could all learn to communicate more clearly with more tact in an online forum format....

 

[sgtbrushes]

There is a time and a place for everything, including blunt honesty and tactful lying. If a patient who just had both legs amputated above the knee asks you, "Is walking again going to be tough?" you'd darn well better say "You betcha." But if a pregnant wife/ girlfriend/ sister/ etc. asks you if she looks fat, the correct answer is never "You betcha."

 

[ziggydoc]

I think apart from a few ppl, SDN isn't really that mean. I try to walk the balance on here, and prob wouldn't do much different in real life if someone asked me the same questions. Be realistic, but no need to crush their dreams, you should just let them know it will be difficult, and if they choose to go for it, more power to them.

P.S. I learned everything regarding premed stuff from this site.

 

[tennisball80]

I would have to agree with OP. SDN rocks!

 

[xanthomondo]

If the real world was like SDN I'm pretty sure I would have killed myself by now.

 

[FrazzleSnazzle]

This pre-medical forum is the definitely one of the most blunt outspoken crowd of people I have come across. The more I read through these threads the worst I see people can get on here. Anyway, real life is just a bunch of people who never say anything negative to your face (way to much sugar-coating). A pre-med student can get through school with a 2.5 and still have optimism about going to medical school, because no one ever has guts to tell him the reality of the situation. Behind our protected computer screens, on here you really get to see the unmasked personality.

Lol, not at my undergrad. I've heard stories that our pre-med adviser has made kids run out of her office crying due to her brute honesty.

 

[Myuu]

If the real world was like SDN I'm pretty sure I would have killed myself by now.

And at least 3 random strangers would've have egged you on after you told them about it.

 

[oran berry]

I'm pretty glad not everyone is like a typical SDNer, or else I would not be able to get into medical school [I won't have insane stats/ec's]

 

[NickNaylor]

Many of the people in the pre-med program at my university are like SDN users.

Trust me, it's irritating.

 

[apumic]

Many of the people in the pre-med program at my university are like SDN users.

Trust me, it's irritating.

Wow. Well, congrats on making it at your school! I think I would have transferred by now if the premeds here were like on SDN! Don't get me wrong, I like the blunt honesty here b/c where else can you get a no-BS answer? But still...if everyone I was around actually acted that way in real life....