If You Were a Med School Interviewer...

[ryuuzaki]

If you were an interviewer for a medical school, how would you troll the person you are interviewing?

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[TheMightySmiter]

If you were an interviewer for a medical school, how would you troll the person you are interviewing?

"Is your muffin buttered? Would you like someone to butter your muffin?"

 

[Iso4ane]

If you were an interviewer for a medical school, how would you troll the person you are interviewing?

Easy:

First ask a complex question "What do you think of healthcare reform?" then do not write a lot.

Then ask a simple question like "How do you find the weather?" and not matter how they answer, sigh, pretend to write down a lot, and do a minor but noticeable face-palm.

 

[Whatyousay]

A better question:

What happens if the interviewer and applicant are both trolling each other?

 

[flatearth22]

Have a poop hot dog under my desk (freshly made of course) and offer them immediate admission to the medical school if they eat it right then and there.

 

[akaVonk]

Easy:

First ask a complex question "What do you think of healthcare reform?" then do not write a lot.

Then ask a simple question like "How do you find the weather?" and not matter how they answer, sigh, pretend to write down a lot, and do a minor but noticeable face-palm.

^Lol!

Ask them about their favorite sports team, how they feel about a classic rivalry with said team's traditional rival, goad them into really, really trash talking the rival team, and drop the bombshell of "Interesting. Btw, I'm a *insert rival team name here* fan. Any more questions before we wrap things up?"

 

[BHaus9]

i think i'd go with the faux psychotic breakdown. "why, in your opinion, do you think my son is a failure? do you think i'm a good parent?" and, most importantly of all, "what in your opinion makes life worth living?" - scrawl a few notes, look up when he/she finishes, and with inquisitive brow-furrow inquire "is that it?" then sigh, drop your pencil, and turn your chair around to stare out the window.

"Is your muffin buttered? Would you like someone to butter your muffin?"

just don't taken off guard when the interviewee responds in the affirmative and furnishes an already-buttered muffin. i for one never start my day without putting one in my transformers lunch box.

... and, incidentally, i would eat a poop hot dog/hamburger for an acceptance. no question

 

[NightGod]

Easy:

First ask a complex question "What do you think of healthcare reform?" then do not write a lot.

Then ask a simple question like "How do you find the weather?" and not matter how they answer, sigh, pretend to write down a lot, and do a minor but noticeable face-palm.

/thread

 

[Political]

my way:

"Do you like it shaken or stirred, if you know what i mean? *wink*"

 

[random cell]

Have a poop hot dog under my desk (freshly made of course) and offer them immediate admission to the medical school if they eat it right then and there.

where do you come up with this s***? no pun intended

it is genius btw

 

[random cell]

my contribution - I would have a normal interview then at the end say "thanks Steve" when their name is really John. Makes them wonder "omg was that a slip or did I just really interview for someone else omg" most pre-meds lack the balls to correct the interviewer. the months long wait for a decision would be agonizing.

 

[obgyny]

Have a poop hot dog under my desk (freshly made of course) and offer them immediate admission to the medical school if they eat it right then and there.

 

[Camy99]

If I had nothing better to do with my life, I would be a troll interviewee. *dreams*

Anyways "Why did the chicken cross the road?" and stare intensely expecting thee right answer.

OR

Say "WRONG!" after every answer.

 

[JESSFALLING]

I'd have some awesome temp tattoo that says "fu" spelled out on my knuckles and be sure to rest them in front of me on the table.

 

[Person0715]

Have a poop hot dog under my desk (freshly made of course) and offer them immediate admission to the medical school if they eat it right then and there.

How about a poop hamburger?

 

[MeowMeowCAT]

I would go Asian dad on them.

"only a 4.0?!" Then proceed with an obvious sigh.

And do the same for everything else they would think actually looks good on their application, and just continue looking dissatisfied.

How about a poop hamburger?

Poop does not come in burger shape.

 

[DAPI]

my contribution - I would have a normal interview then at the end say "thanks Steve" when their name is really John. Makes them wonder "omg was that a slip or did I just really interview for someone else omg" most pre-meds lack the balls to correct the interviewer. the months long wait for a decision would be agonizing.

Yes, but I would be sure to stumble for a second trying to recall their name, look down at my sheet of paper, and then thank them.

 

[Ride Big Sky]

my contribution - I would have a normal interview then at the end say "thanks Steve" when their name is really John. Makes them wonder "omg was that a slip or did I just really interview for someone else omg" most pre-meds lack the balls to correct the interviewer. the months long wait for a decision would be agonizing.

By far my favorite. It's a very subtle mind ***ing.

 

[Geekchick921]

"Is your muffin buttered? Would you like someone to butter your muffin?"

If I lapsed into reciting Mean Girls with you, would you automatically vote to accept me?

Also, some of you are EVIL. Hilarious and brilliant, but evil.

 

[synthase]

Poop does not come in burger shape.

Neither do hamburgers. They are made into that shape. Just like a poop burger would have to be.

 

[theseeker4]

After the real questions were done, I would say "Now, to begin the second half of the interview, what specialty are you most interested in?" and no matter what the answer is, frown, scribble furiously for a few seconds and say gruffly "Ok, thank you for your time."

Or any time the interviewee gives their opinion about anything whatsoever, roll my eyes and mutter "Right, like a pre-med would know anything about that!"

 

[MeowMeowCAT]

I would ask them about their opinion on chili.

 

[Narmerguy]

Pick my nose throughout the whole interview and stare directly at them in silence.

 

[MeowMeowCAT]

Pick my nose throughout the whole interview and stare directly at them in silence.

Nod your head and smile the whole time while maintaining strict eye contact.

 

[YouNeverKnow22]

Walk in 10 minutes late and sit down, look at file, laugh for like 2 minutes and say

"Dude no ****ing way you're gonna get in here, I'll go ahead and conduct the interview for formality purposes but I'll tell you that there is a 100% chance you will get rejected"

and then the interview proceeds for the next 30 minutes

 

[startswithb]

my contribution - I would have a normal interview then at the end say "thanks Steve" when their name is really John. Makes them wonder "omg was that a slip or did I just really interview for someone else omg" most pre-meds lack the balls to correct the interviewer. the months long wait for a decision would be agonizing.

I love it.

 

[pkwraith]

Entrapment.

I'd dress up in a suit, and sit with the interviewee while they're waiting. Casually do my entire interview there. Then, walk with them into my office and say "Thank you. Do you have any questions for me."

 

[TheMightySmiter]

If I lapsed into reciting Mean Girls with you, would you automatically vote to accept me?

Absolutely! One of my favorite movies of all time!

 

[Iso4ane]

Entrapment.

I'd dress up in a suit, and sit with the interviewee while they're waiting. Casually do my entire interview there. Then, walk with them into my office and say "Thank you. Do you have any questions for me."

Would only work if you're a student interviewer, or if you look really young.

 

[mmmcdowe]

I would offer any student who said that my school was their top choice the chance to sign a letter of matriculation right then and there. In the fine print, it would actually be a matriculation letter for Ross.

 

[mmmcdowe]

Would only work if you're a student interviewer, or if you look really young.

I think the other problem is a lot of pre-meds are paranoid about what they say in the suite anyways out of fear that one of the students is an adcom member.

 

[NickNaylor]

I would offer any student who said that my school was their top choice the chance to sign a letter of matriculation right then and there. In the fine print, it would actually be a matriculation letter for Ross.

Best idea yet.

 

[Iso4ane]

I think the other problem is a lot of pre-meds are paranoid about what they say in the suite anyways out of fear that one of the students is an adcom member.

I was definitely that way. When I was at one school the waiting room was a large teleconference room with cameras and mikes all around, I noticed them all and was like "Maybe they are watching us, even now..."

 

[Whatyousay]

I was definitely that way. When I was at one school the waiting room was a large teleconference room with cameras and mikes all around, I noticed them all and was like "Maybe they are watching us, even now..."

They're still watching you.

 

[Web MD]

"Why do you deserve to be a doctor more than I do?"
If they explain why, I respond with rage. If they don't think they do, I thank them for wasting my time. If they think they deserve acceptance just as much as I did, I explain how I have no equal.

Another one I think would be fun is "The world ends in 10 seconds, what do you do?" Then count down at 2x speed. "So you chose to just sit there like a jackass, interesting move"

 

[Eric01]

just do the Jenna Marble face the entire time

 

[pkwraith]

I think the other problem is a lot of pre-meds are paranoid about what they say in the suite anyways out of fear that one of the students is an adcom member.

Fine, then I will dress as a homeless person that accost them outside of the medical school with odd but poignant questions about their desire for medicine.

 

[MeowMeowCAT]

Start of the interview with "I have found quite a number of interesting information about you on the internet" and don't comment nor bring it up through the rest of the interview.

 

[NickNaylor]

I think the other problem is a lot of pre-meds are paranoid about what they say in the suite anyways out of fear that one of the students is an adcom member.

Unless you're at Hopkins, in which case you ARE being evaluated during the "hang out" time.

 

[senorsquishie]

Open up what looks like their file, and say "you've got to be kidding me!" Next, chuck the file across the room, or better yet out a window. Storm out of the room.

 

[obgyny]

Just sit in silence and stare unrelentingly at the applicant. Wait for him/her to break.

Or the classic 5-year-old trick: start the interview with "Why Medicine?", then just ask "why?" after everything the applicant says for the entire interview .

 

[mmmcdowe]

Unless you're at Hopkins, in which case you ARE being evaluated during the "hang out" time.

I felt the same way about Yale too, because the director was in the waiting room like the whole time.

 

[juliedi]

This thread is golden.

I think I'd fake a heart attack or something like that during the middle of the interview. Then as the interviewee is panicking/trying to help/calling for help or whatever, I'd suddenly come to and tell them they acted entirely inappropriately, and that they'd never make it as a doctor.

 

[ryuuzaki]

Actually, the funniest thing I've seen was in the strange interview moment thread where the interviewer said "Wait, let me stop you right there. I've read Student Doctor."

Another way you could troll an applicant: in the middle of a good interview, admit to not having read their personal statement, but start reading it in front of them. After the first two sentences say out loud "Why does this sound so familiar?" and begin comparing it to another PS you've got around. After a minute, just abruptly get up and tell the kid to sit tight because you're going to go have a small chat with the dean.

 

[ryuuzaki]

my contribution - I would have a normal interview then at the end say "thanks Steve" when their name is really John. Makes them wonder "omg was that a slip or did I just really interview for someone else omg" most pre-meds lack the balls to correct the interviewer. the months long wait for a decision would be agonizing.

I lol'd at this one. Good stuff.

 

[Narmerguy]

This thread is golden.

I think I'd fake a heart attack or something like that during the middle of the interview. Then as the interviewee is panicking/trying to help/calling for help or whatever, I'd suddenly come to and tell them they acted entirely inappropriately, and that they'd never make it as a doctor.

Better yet, I get a theater student to pretend to be an interviewee. I pretend that it's a group interview and have the other student say tons of douche stuff and I keep showing blatant favoritism.

--or--

Get the other theater student to pretend to start having a heart attack while I sit calmly behind the desk staring directly at the interviewee and asking him:
"well, you want to be a doctor, what are you going to do?"
"aren't you going to help him? Are you that competitive?"
"are you sure you should be doing that?"
"he could die right now and you're trying to make a phone call??!"

 

[NickNaylor]

Better yet, I get a theater student to pretend to be an interviewee. I pretend that it's a group interview and have the other student say tons of douche stuff and I keep showing blatant favoritism.

--or--

Get the other theater student to pretend to start having a heart attack while I sit calmly behind the desk staring directly at the interviewee and asking him:
"well, you want to be a doctor, what are you going to do?"
"aren't you going to help him? Are you that competitive?"
"are you sure you should be doing that?"
"he could die right now and you're trying to make a phone call??!"

Option #1 is very promising.

 

[HatWobble]

"So, what interests you the most about law school?"

 

[MeowMeowCAT]

"Why should you get accepted than someone of a minority that will make the school look more diverse?"

 

[senorsquishie]

Conduct the interview naked.