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Im bored of talking about the match

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Loopo Henle

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I have some axis 2 cluster C tendencies that have caused unwanted intrusive thoughts to persist in my brain for the past few months, Namely the match and my rank order list. I need to do something else for a while so I have decided to create a worthless opinion thread to amuse myself. Anyone who wants to join into this flame free zone is welcome. There is to be no talk of ROL's, prestige, love notes etc... So here are a few of my opinions:

1) Growing up in the country is superior to growing up in the city. If you grow up in the city, you are ill prepared to kill and eat your own food. Although, I no longer enjoy killing other living things (exept for dreadful bacteria, mosquitos and the occasional protozoan), I do possess the skills to do so. So when the rapture comes, I will be able to continue eating even after all of the chic-fil-A's close.
2) Scarlett Johansen is the second sexiest woman on earth.
3) I love birds, but I feel they would eat me if they could.
4) I vehemently dislike our current political administration's foreign, domestic and social policies although I admire their incredible spin team.
5) Given my interest in GI, I have considered changing my name to Loopo Bowel.

I have a theory (looks like a trend), that this thread will fail miserably and die a premature death secondary to the personality of my chosen field, but we shall see.
 

orientedtoself

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I am not a bird lover. Some birds are okay- hummingbirds, bluejays, robins, sparrows. Not crows. I have been attacked twice by crows. The first time, I was walking on a wooded path, minding my own business, when the bird swooped down and attacked my head. It got its claws in my hair and I felt its wings flapping next to my head. I started screaming and running. Eventually the bird flew off, but I kept screaming and running. Then I realized people were staring at me, and I stopped running and started explaining that I was okay. Then, I think it was a year later, the same thing happened to me at a different location on campus. Crows, with their strutting walk and little beady eyes, are evil.
 

Loopo Henle

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orientedtoself said:
I am not a bird lover. Some birds are okay- hummingbirds, bluejays, robins, sparrows. Not crows. I have been attacked twice by crows. The first time, I was walking on a wooded path, minding my own business, when the bird swooped down and attacked my head. It got its claws in my hair and I felt its wings flapping next to my head. I started screaming and running. Eventually the bird flew off, but I kept screaming and running. Then I realized people were staring at me, and I stopped running and started explaining that I was okay. Then, I think it was a year later, the same thing happened to me at a different location on campus. Crows, with their strutting walk and little beady eyes, are evil.

Agreed, Death to all crows :smuggrin: Except for that Brandon Lee movie "The Crow" that was pretty cool. Of Course, He is dead anyway. Probably killed by crows.
 

Mumpu

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The Match sounds like a dance move. What kind of dance move do you think it is?

It always makes me think of the Time Warp Dance from Rocky Horror Picture Show ("but it's the pelvic thruuuust, that really drives you insaaaane"). Hmmm... Pelvic Match?
 

Loopo Henle

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Mumpu said:
The Match sounds like a dance move. What kind of dance move do you think it is?

It always makes me think of the Time Warp Dance from Rocky Horror Picture Show ("but it's the pelvic thruuuust, that really drives you insaaaane"). Hmmm... Pelvic Match?

The pelvic match is what Ob/Gyn's go through I think. I think the match would be like the macarena--> really annoying but you can't get it out of your head.

I just finished watching Blade II. Does anybody else think about La Magra the blood god when a patient comes in coumadin toxic. I do.
 

coldfeet

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Re proposal #2--who's the first on the list?

Re proposal #4--I'm not even sure how good the spin team is. It just seems that almost noone in the American media (although it's more of a societal problem than just a media problem) has the the energy/attention span to track down and disprove each of the administration's pieces of spin in a way that the public can see/react to.

p.s. Steelers by 17.
 

Loopo Henle

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coldfeet said:
Re proposal #2--who's the first on the list?

Re proposal #4--I'm not even sure how good the spin team is. It just seems that almost noone in the American media (although it's more of a societal problem than just a media problem) has the the energy/attention span to track down and disprove each of the administration's pieces of spin in a way that the public can see/react to.

p.s. Steelers by 17.

1) My wife of course, but SJ's eyes bewitch me
2) I think his spin team are Gods. When the State of the Union was on and he spoke of the domestic spying program, I could have sworn I heard the founding fathers turning in their graves. I think I heard Ben Franklin cuss. Yet he gets a standing ovation. People applauded for this blatant trampling of our civil rights. It will be the death of our country I swear. When people happily hand over their liberty for the illusion of safety. Give me Liberty or give me DEATH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! How hard is it to get a warrant, honestly.
3) I am worried that the Steelers are favored by 4. They do much better as underdogs, but my prediction: Steelers 546 Seattle -7 unless they bring in Ditka.
 

BigBadBix

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1. Birds are scary, but fish are worse. All slimy and wriggly, getting all up against your legs when you're just trying to do a little snorkeling. Creepy, I tell you.

2. Also scary: outer space and the depths of ocean. I don't even like to think about them or see pictures. Too vast!

3. Re: current administration and their amazing spin team, I completely agree with Loopo Henle (Bowel?). The spell they have placed over red state America (which, sadly, includes my own family) is quite impressive.

4. Am I the only one here rooting for the Seahawks? How they suddenly became the underdog after the season they have had is just bizarre to me. East Coast bias perhaps? :p But that's OK because I always root for underdogs. And this year it's even better because they are from my beloved Seattle! :thumbup:
 

PickyBicky

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Mumpu said:
The Match sounds like a dance move. What kind of dance move do you think it is?

It always makes me think of the Time Warp Dance from Rocky Horror Picture Show ("but it's the pelvic thruuuust, that really drives you insaaaane"). Hmmm... Pelvic Match?

This post is running dangerously close to bringing up the dreaded "M" word. Man, the worst part about birds is two-fold, in my opinion. 1) The poop issue. Look, you don't see me poopin' on no bird nest, so leave the vehicle alone beaky-one. 2) The early AM tweeting. I'm glad you're getting that tasty worm and all, but could you do it a little less enthusiastically. Trying to catch a mate? Well, show that plumage, but shut the beak (at least until 7am or so)!

-PB
 

orientedtoself

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Seahawks by 3! I'm right there with you, BigBadBix!
 

Loopo Henle

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orientedtoself said:
Seahawks by 3! I'm right there with you, BigBadBix!

BOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! My thread has bred a bunch of Seahawk fans. I thought you two hated birds. Yet you root for seahawks, a breed of bird that will certainly eat you if you are ever miniturized. The might even drop you in the middle of the vast ocean.
 

Loopo Henle

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I love Meet the Press. Tim Russert is a press quoting mahine. The new house leader is named Boehner (pronounced bainer). He would be much more interesting if he pronounced it like it looked. He could have a summit with the lead singer of U2. The Bono-Boner summit.
12.7 billion cut from student loan programs over 5 years. Awesome. Increasing student loan interest rates in July. Awesome. I love this administration. Consolidate now!!!
 

DoctorSax

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1) Angelina soars above all numerical ranking systems in terms of hotness. Top ten hottest women lists run away in fear when they see her name. Oh, Angelina. Jolie, that is. I can just call her by her first name because someday she's going to marry me...and my wife...in some central African nation that allows polygamy. One day she'll run away, Brad, one day...you can't tame the beast!

2) I've never been pooped on by a bird. Thought I had been once, but it was just some sensory nerve spasm on my shoulder or something. No poop. Why do people tell you that it's good luck if you get pooped on? I guess it's one way to make yourself feel better despite the fact that you are on your way to lunch with Angelina Jolie and you have excrement on your sweater.

3) I'm still going for the Texans, for some reason. I really like underdogs. I see the entire Texans squad busting into the Detroit stadium and making the Steelers and the Seahawks so angry that they forget about the game and team up together for a winner-takes-all Super Ooper Bowl against the Texans. Bono and Boner do the halftime show. David Carr is sacked 8,236 times, but the Texans manage to hang on and only lose by 13.

4) Why is Ashlee Simpson so popular?

5) Bush's spin team is good, don't get me wrong, but have you met his spinning team? Man, when they get on those stationary bikes, I mean, you just can't stop 'em! You should've seen them back when Cheney could pedal. He kind of just "brings up the rear" these days (you know, frequent water breaks, resetting the pacemaker, etc). Rummy's taken over the lead--he gets to wear the Madonna microphone and bark nonsense into the loudspeakers to motivate the team.

6) Even though I think that what he does is important in terms of exposing the underbelly of sensitive issues, there's just something about Michael Moore that aggravates me. My sadistic side wants to see him combine forces with Morgan Spurlock and make a documentary--then watch how awkward it is when they talk about the obesity issue in the US.

DS
 
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whispers

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1) ) My wife of course, but SJ's eyes bewitch me

Good answer!! :D

2) Why can't you guys tranfers to my school I'm tired of the ______ing types A's. Wait I read the ROL thread forty times daily. I'm slowly turing into them too. S___. :(


3) Start posting your plans for VDay 'cause I talked with some of my med school male friends and they really need some help. Plus who cares where you match if you don't have anyone to share it with. Or at least vent on for a few hours.
 

Loopo Henle

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DoctorSax said:
3) I'm still going for the Texans, for some reason. I really like underdogs. I see the entire Texans squad busting into the Detroit stadium and making the Steelers and the Seahawks so angry that they forget about the game and team up together for a winner-takes-all Super Ooper Bowl against the Texans. Bono and Boner do the halftime show. David Carr is sacked 8,236 times, but the Texans manage to hang on and only lose by 13.

4) Why is Ashlee Simpson so popular?

DS

1) I agree about Angelina Jolie. She is definetely hot plus she is crazy which is always a good combo (in the short term), but I rank her #3.

3) Being a Texans fan must be hard, sort of like being a cubs fan. I would rather be pooped on by a pelican than be a Texans fan. You should get a big lift draft day though, when a new Bush comes to Houston.

4) Because everyone is hoping she will introduce them to her sister (#4).
 

Loopo Henle

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whispers said:
3) Start posting your plans for VDay 'cause I talked with some of my med school male friends and they really need some help. Plus who cares where you match if you don't have anyone to share it with. Or at least vent on for a few hours.


VD Day? Every day is VD day in the teen clinic. My most hated time on OB/GYN, teen clinic. Me to teen: "Do you or have you ever had gonorrhea, the clap?" Teen to me: "Doesn't everybody?" True answer, Yes in the teen clinic along with chlamydia, herpes, trich, crabs. One of my class mates did a wet prep and saw trich swimming with sperm. Honestly, you can't tell your boyfriend NO right before your gyn appointment, gross!!!!!!!

If you are talking about Mday celebrations, I will either be drinking, crying or drinking and crying. Our Dean gives our class 1K to party afterwards. I think that is enough to rent a beer truck with taps on the side. We can even bring some dialysis machines so we can get drunk then sober then drunk again without dying. It will be awesome.
 

orientedtoself

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Loopo Henle said:
BOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! My thread has bred a bunch of Seahawk fans. I thought you two hated birds.
Oh, um. I tend to take things quite literally. I didn't even associate the Seahawks with birds. I think of them more as a native american symbol. Yeah, they are [email protected] birds. We're going to take your eyes out, Loopo! :horns:
 

Loopo Henle

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Dirty Seahawk fans have infiltrated my thread, but I am sure they will fade into the woodwork once again after the Steelers flog those soggy pacific northwesterners until they run crying all the way back home to their very own Starbucks. Well enough banter for now. The game is about to begin, and in the words of the immortal Shamus O'Toole:

Let's get drunk!!!!

I have to give myself the +pad+ smiley because I almost hit 4 posts in a row without anyone else responding. This thread has been a tremendous help to me. It is better than therapy. Free association rules!!!! How many posts in a row before you are considered schizophrenic or dissociative identity disorder? I guess I better go get some advice on the psych site.
 

Loopo Henle

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What a beautiful Super bowl. One for the ages!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Longest rush for a TD in superbowl history. Longest interception return in superbowl history. Only touchdown throw by a wide receiver in superbowl history. That reverse flea flicker will go down as one of the greatest plays ever. Is it wrong for me to love Bill Cowher? If it is I don't want to be right.

Steelers Win Super Bowl XL!!!!!!
 

orientedtoself

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Bix, our bird crapped out. :( But they have come a long way. . .
 

Mumpu

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Considering the bogus "pass interference" call on Seahawks' first TD and the "TD" call on Steeler's first attempt that was obviously inches short, I'd say Seahawks won 17 to 14.

Loved the streaker sheep though! :)
 

BigBadBix

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orientedtoself said:
Bix, our bird crapped out. :( But they have come a long way. . .

I know...I'm so sad. :( I was really hoping the Pacific NW would finally bring home a national title in a sport! But what the Seahawks accomplished this season is actually pretty amazing. Especially considering that when I was an undergrad in Seattle just 5 years ago, they were TERRIBLE and played for half-empty stadiums. They have really turned things around.

Mumpu, I totally agree that those calls were bogus. However, I do have to admit that there were plenty of opportunities in the second half for the Seahawks to score, and they just didn't come through. They played so well at first, but then it seemed like they got psyched out once the Steelers got some momentum.

And with that, I'm headed to bed to ponder the eternal question - what is it that men find so attractive about Angelina Jolie? It is a mystery to me how she has bewitched you all. The woman has obnoxiously large lips and wore a vial of Billy Bob Thornton's blood around her neck for heaven's sake!!

-BBB
 
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Mumpu

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BBB, true, Seahawks kind of pooped out. On the upside, Seattle won't have to deal with hippies rioting in the streets, torching coffee houses, and throwing beer cans into non-recycleable garbage. :) (just kidding all, I loved Seattle!)

I don't think Angelina Jolie is attractive at all. Zoey Deschanel is something completely different, however.

I was watching some Can-eh-dian geese taking off today and it got me thinking: how do they tell each other apart? I mean, a bunch of geese took off and they very obviously joined specific groups of other geese.... That reminds me of a Jack Handey "Deep Thought:" I don't think that swans pairing up for life is such a big deal. I mean, if you are a swan, what are the chances that you will ever meet a better-looking swan?
 

Loopo Henle

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Those Refs owed the Steelers a few calls after that Colts game. I agree that some of the calls were relatively questionable, but that Seattle dude clearly pushed off in the end zone, and that is clearly offensive pass interference.

Even though, my Steelers won, I am terribly depressed. You see I have just started my neurology rotation, and that means I am actually going to have to work for a living. Oh well, I guess I can't take every month off 4th year. If I could I would, but I can't so I shan't.

Angelina Jolie is hot because she is crazy. There is something about a woman that would wear your blood around her neck that makes men drool. Most men aren't as excited about her obnoxiously large lips as they are her obnoxiously large ............ well I digress.
 

DoctorSax

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Loopo Henle said:
Angelina Jolie is hot because she is crazy. There is something about a woman that would wear your blood around her neck that makes men drool. Most men aren't as excited about her obnoxiously large lips as they are her obnoxiously large ............ well I digress.

You be referring to her obnoxiously large tummy filled with Jolie-Pitt spawn. She's getting too thin these days. Went from voluptuous (Tomb Raider II) to Katemossicus over the past couple of years. I think that she's past the blood around the neck stage. Two adopted refugee children can turn you responsible pretty durn fast.

I started ENT today. I actually have to read. Uy vey.

Congrats on the Super Bowl, Loopito. Sorry Triple B and the Seahawks corps. Next year in Jerusalem, as we say.

DS
 

maryshelley2006

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Y'alls crack me up; I love this thread. I find Angelina Jolie icky, and Scarlett Johannsen pretentious as hell (in one interview she spoke about older men escaping from their rotting house-bodies by lusting after younger women...she also spoke about how post-menopausal women were dried up and gross.) However, Mark Ruffalo is one find hunk of man. Mmmmm. And I'd still happily do Jude Law, even if he has a tendency to bang the nanny.

I never follow football but I still was sad that Seattle lost, because I always root for the underdog.

Winter Olympics are coming up! I'm hoping Michelle Kwan finally gets a gold. And I also have an insane crush on a very cute male French skater, Brian Joubert, even though he's sucked this year. He did an awesome program to "The Matrix" a couple of years back.
 

DoctorSax

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maryshelley2006 said:
Y'alls crack me up; I love this thread. I find Angelina Jolie icky, and Scarlett Johannsen pretentious as hell (in one interview she spoke about older men escaping from their rotting house-bodies by lusting after younger women...she also spoke about how post-menopausal women were dried up and gross.) However, Mark Ruffalo is one find hunk of man. Mmmmm. And I'd still happily do Jude Law, even if he has a tendency to bang the nanny.

I never follow football but I still was sad that Seattle lost, because I always root for the underdog.

Winter Olympics are coming up! I'm hoping Michelle Kwan finally gets a gold. And I also have an insane crush on a very cute male French skater, Brian Joubert, even though he's sucked this year. He did an awesome program to "The Matrix" a couple of years back.

That's the funny thing about the nanny. See, I thought that we had heard the last of Fran Drescher, but then there she is, "Well, Helloooooouuaaauuuaaaaw" and all in that new show. And what of Joaquin? Isn't he supposedly the new Jude?

Love the winter Olympics, but watching it sometimes makes me wish I wanted to be an orthopedist. It's just knee replacement followed by knee replacement followed by ACL tear 2 years from now...Mmmmm...knee replacement...

Then again, I used to want to be a ski jumper.

Speaking of which, why can't I find Premiership soccer here? Yeah, there's Fox Soccer Channel, but it's insufficient. I live in a small place, so none of the pubs show "the footy." I need the footy. I want to see Michael Owen play for Newcastle. I want to see Arsenal's gentle dip into mediocrity. I want to see someone BEAT CHELSEA. But no...no market in the US=no footy for me. Stupid market.

DS
 

Loopo Henle

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DoctorSax said:
You be referring to her obnoxiously large tummy filled with Jolie-Pitt spawn. She's getting too thin these days. Went from voluptuous (Tomb Raider II) to Katemossicus over the past couple of years. I think that she's past the blood around the neck stage. Two adopted refugee children can turn you responsible pretty durn fast.

DS

There is something nauseating about the term: Jolie-Pitt Spawn. I don't think I will ever look at her the same now. I agree she has moved from the crazy phase to the save the world phase. Speaking of that hottie, Scarlet Johanson. Has anyone seen the cover of Vanity Fair, WOW!!!. I see Scarlet's budunka dunk!!! That makes loopo a happy loopo. I don't care if she is a pretentious little bunghole. I am married, for me she is but eye candy.

I fell off my freakin' bicycle today. That sucked. I have abrasions in very unusual places. I feel very old right now.

SDN sure is speedy tonight. I just played an entire game of expert level minesweeper waiting for this thread to load.
 

Loopo Henle

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maryshelley2006 said:
However, Mark Ruffalo is one find hunk of man. Mmmmm. And I'd still happily do Jude Law, even if he has a tendency to bang the nanny.

Winter Olympics are coming up! I'm hoping Michelle Kwan finally gets a gold. And I also have an insane crush on a very cute male French skater, Brian Joubert, even though he's sucked this year. He did an awesome program to "The Matrix" a couple of years back.

Maryshelley I guess we are not giving equal time to the hot dudes. So here is my list of the hottest guys (compiled by my wife). I don't rank guys personally unless I drink bourbon which for some reason turns me gay.
#1 me
#2 Heath Ledger
#3 Johnny Depp
#4 Jude Law
#5 George Clooney
#6 Richard Simmons (whoops, Dang Wild Turkey!!!!!!)

I am looking forward to the olympics as well. I am a huge curling fan. Now that is a real mans sport. They should rename it ice bowling. Big fat beer swilling dudes and dudettes with brooms and giant rocks with handles on them. Awesome!!!! Female snowboarder chicks are hot (thank goodness the bourbon wore off!)
 

DoctorSax

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Loopo Henle said:
Maryshelley I guess we are not giving equal time to the hot dudes. So here is my list of the hottest guys (compiled by my wife). I don't rank guys personally unless I drink bourbon which for some reason turns me gay.
#1 me
#2 Heath Ledger
#3 Johnny Depp
#4 Jude Law
#5 George Clooney
#6 Richard Simmons (whoops, Dang Wild Turkey!!!!!!)

I am looking forward to the olympics as well. I am a huge curling fan. Now that is a real mans sport. They should rename it ice bowling. Big fat beer swilling dudes and dudettes with brooms and giant rocks with handles on them. Awesome!!!! Female snowboarder chicks are hot (thank goodness the bourbon wore off!)

That's crazy. My wife's list of hottest guys includes:

Robert Redford
Angelina Jolie
Roger Moore
No young men, basically...weird.

I lived in Canada for college and the curling thing was a trip. I'd never watched it before and was amazed by how into it the Canucks were. Apparently it's a pretty complex game--I just was happy that the habitus-endowed folks had a sport to excel at. Then I lived in England for a year and realized how popular darts was. People watch that stuff all day!

Crazy Canadians and Brits. Love em.

DS
 

sophee

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Loopo Henle said:
Maryshelley I guess we are not giving equal time to the hot dudes. So here is my list of the hottest guys (compiled by my wife). I don't rank guys personally unless I drink bourbon which for some reason turns me gay.
#1 me
#2 Heath Ledger
#3 Johnny Depp
#4 Jude Law
#5 George Clooney
#6 Richard Simmons (whoops, Dang Wild Turkey!!!!!!)

I am looking forward to the olympics as well. I am a huge curling fan. Now that is a real mans sport. They should rename it ice bowling. Big fat beer swilling dudes and dudettes with brooms and giant rocks with handles on them. Awesome!!!! Female snowboarder chicks are hot (thank goodness the bourbon wore off!)


Hi,
I am sick and tired of type A personality med students. Why we don't have more of you. I can't find any one in my class who likes to have a good time. It sucks.

#1 Catherin Zetha Jones, She is HOT, Exotic
#2 Angelinia Jolie
#3 SJ She is OK, not HOT
 
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Loopo Henle

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sophee said:
Hi,
I am sick and tired of type A personality med students. Why we don't have more of you. I can't find any one in my class who likes to have a good time. It sucks.

I wish I wasn't a type A, but I am. I will admit it. I am actually a bit of a maniac. It is possible to be type A without being a complete turd blossom. I haven't actually met a type-B medical student yet. Some try to act type B, but sooner or later their real tendencies emerge. I do enjoy a good laugh. I will agree that most medical students take themselves way to seriously. That is why this forum needed a thread like this to vent our repressed immaturity.

I forgot to add Matthew McConaughey to the sexy men list. My wife informed me that he is number 1 and I am actually just below Richard Simmons.

Do you ever wonder what goes through peoples minds? I really wonder some times. I had a patient today that had the most severe mullet I have ever seen. He made Billy Ray Cyrus look like a choir boy. His cognitive process must follow 1 of 2 different paths:
1) Dang my mullet is sexy! Nothing brings the ladies flocking like sweet hockey hair and a Grabherbootie and Pinch t-shirt or,
2) Ummmmmmm Beer!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So it boils down to denial or mindlessness (not sure if that is a word). Anyway mullet rationalization is beyond my meager mind's capability. I once threatened to grow a mullet just to irritate my wife, but she threatened to neuter me so I backed down. Oh well I guess I could always buy a Tommy Pullmyfinger shirt, that is sure to drive the ladies wild.
 

BigBadBix

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Loopo Henle said:
I forgot to add Matthew McConaughey to the sexy men list.

That's what I'm talking about! I was just going to post my list with him as #1. SO hot - even his voice is sexy. :)

Jessica Biel is one of the women I wish I looked like - along with Catherine Zeta-Jones and Jessica Simpson. Angelina has never been on that list, although I'm starting to rethink that now that she's managed to woo Brad Pitt with those lips...or whatever it was that she used. ;)

Do you think there is a secret society of people somewhere who think it looks nice to have a mullet? I mean, these people MUST be getting some kind of positive feedback to keep getting it cut like that. My husband used to do the socks with sandals thing, because somehow he actually knew people that thought that looked cool. He thought it was stylish until I mocked him mercilessly.

Anyway, how do you even go about getting a mullet? Do you just walk into Supercuts or whatever and ask for it? Would any self-respecting hairstylist actually DO that for someone?

Also, loopo said budunka bunk.

-BBB
 

Mumpu

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Business in the front, party in the back. It's exactly the same as the dress slacks and scrub top outfit favored by so many ER docs.
 

orientedtoself

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BigBadBix said:
Anyway, how do you even go about getting a mullet? Do you just walk into Supercuts or whatever and ask for it? Would any self-respecting hairstylist actually DO that for someone?
I doubt they walk in there and say, "I'd like to get a mullet"- they probably say "I like it shorter in front, and long in the back". . .
 

BStein76

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orientedtoself said:
I doubt they walk in there and say, "I'd like to get a mullet"- they probably say "I like it shorter in front, and long in the back". . .
I saw on Jacka#% Johnny Knoxville went into barbershop and ask for a mullet; maybe it is more common than we think.
 

Loopo Henle

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orientedtoself said:
I doubt they walk in there and say, "I'd like to get a mullet"- they probably say "I like it shorter in front, and long in the back". . .

I doubt they go to a barber at all. They probably go to their uncle Ned who has a pair of sheep shears. Maybe the mullet provides some evolutionary advantage that is not evident at first glance. I bet if a study were to be done, Mullet sporting dudes would have a much lower incidence of neck melanoma. Just a guess. I think I have found a research project for myself. If any of you turds steal my idea I will find you. Look for my retrospective review of mullets and melanoma coming to a JAMA near you.
 

BStein76

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Loopo Henle said:
I doubt they go to a barber at all. They probably go to their uncle Ned who has a pair of sheep shears. Maybe the mullet provides some evolutionary advantage that is not evident at first glance. I bet if a study were to be done, Mullet sporting dudes would have a much lower incidence of neck melanoma. Just a guess. I think I have found a research project for myself. If any of you turds steal my idea I will find you. Look for my retrospective review of mullets and melanoma coming to a JAMA near you.
I would aspire for NEJM or Lancet; we can collaborate since I am in the Southeast. We could look at what ages the mullet must develop by to confer a protective risk against melanoma.
 

Loopo Henle

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bbart76 said:
I would aspire for NEJM or Lancet; we can collaborate since I am in the Southeast. We could look at what ages the mullet must develop by to confer a protective risk against melanoma.

Excellent, by combining our two institutions we will be able to get much bigger numbers. Perhaps we could begin our own journal. The Journal of the American Mullet Association (JAMA), crap that is already taken. How about the New Evidence Justifying Mullets (NEJM). Crap again!! Okay we can publish it in the Lancet then. I am of the opinion that mullets are genetic in origin therefore do not "develop" but instead grow. We need to do some twin studies to see if the mullet is truly nature vs. nurture. The research possibilities here are astounding! I smell Nobel.
 

souljah1

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Sorry guys, I beat you to it. I just published a prospective study in Obstetrics and Gynecology looking at rates of teenage pregnancy in women whose partners have mullets. See the reference below. The relative risk of screwing a mulletman with no jimmy hat was 4.6 (P < 0.01). A confounder could be the potentcy of their semen, but that is for someone else to study.

souljah et al, Men with Mullets. They knock you up more. Obstetrics and Gynecology, 13 (2), 2006.
 

Loopo Henle

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souljah1 said:
Sorry guys, I beat you to it. I just published a prospective study in Obstetrics and Gynecology looking at rates of teenage pregnancy in women whose partners have mullets. See the reference below. The relative risk of screwing a mulletman with no jimmy hat was 4.6 (P < 0.01). A confounder could be the potentcy of their semen, but that is for someone else to study.

souljah et al, Men with Mullets. They knock you up more. Obstetrics and Gynecology, 13 (2), 2006.

Henle, Loopo, Determining the posterior hair length to semen potency ratio in males/females with mullets: The Samson effect, a RCT. Journal of Reproductive Health, 69 (1), 2006.

Henle, Loopo, Patients with mullets found to have high levels of Omega 3 fatty acids, could a hairdo cure heart disease? [editorial]. JAMA 5 (2), 2006.

Long live the mullet!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 

souljah1

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Excellent work Dr. Loopo.

Some more articles in my treasure trove:

1. Souljah, Dishwala. Does screening for mullets increase the early detection of clitoromegaly in women? Endocrinology 26(7) 2002.

2. Souljah, Dishwala. Does assuming that women with mullets are lesbians indicate the need for CBT? The impact of psychotherapy on homophobia. Journal of Pschiatric Health, 1 (1) 2003.

3. Souljah, Dishwala. The controversy surrounding the use of Mullets in Society. Are they considered a hairdo or a hairdon't? Anthropology 2(12), 2004.

4. Souljah, Dishwala. Patients with Mullets (specifically camero mullets) have a higher incidence of ethylene glycol intoxification. A call to make ethylene glycol taste less sweet and look less appetizing. The Journal of Emergency Medicine 2 (2), 2005
 

BStein76

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souljah1 said:
Excellent work Dr. Loopo.

Some more articles in my treasure trove:

1. Souljah, Dishwala. Does screening for mullets increase the early detection of clitoromegaly in women? Endocrinology 26(7) 2002.

2. Souljah, Dishwala. Does assuming that women with mullets are lesbians indicate the need for CBT? The impact of psychotherapy on homophobia. Journal of Pschiatric Health, 1 (1) 2003.

3. Souljah, Dishwala. The controversy surrounding the use of Mullets in Society. Are they considered a hairdo or a hairdon't? Anthropology 2(12), 2004.

4. Souljah, Dishwala. Patients with Mullets (specifically camero mullets) have a higher incidence of ethylene glycol intoxification. A call to make ethylene glycol taste less sweet and look less appetizing. The Journal of Emergency Medicine 2 (2), 2005


I am in the process of revising my paper for Nature Medicine titled "The withdrawal method and mullet-1 mutations is associated with increased urinary HCG levels in Drosophila". It should be out soon after I revise some of the figures and include some C. elegans data.
 

Loopo Henle

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I guess I should lay off of the mullet wearing crowd since I once thought it was supremely cool to rock a rat tail with checkerboard vans and a swatch watch. When I think back to the 80's I remember what a monster dork I used to be. (I know, when most of you think back to the 80's you think of what a monster embryo you used to be, but I am old cut me a break). I also thought it was cool once to shave my football number into the side of my head and paint it with red glitter a la Brian Bosworth. My mother has pictures of me wearing leather pants with 40 zippers on them and a gray members only jacket. Then again, when I came to medical school I had a shaved head and a goatee so I could look like a professional wrestler. Fashion trends come and fashion trends go, but the mullet has endured time as the official hairdo of two major sports: Nascar and Hockey. Some ladies must like the mullet because people that rock mullets have no trouble reproducing. If my wife ever leaves me, I am definetely going to start sporting a mullet. It would be Un-American not to!
 

Loopo Henle

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In fact, I think I have just enough hair to shave the sides off, spike up the top and sport a mini-mullet for graduation. If I don't cut my hair between now and then, I could have a respectable tail flap. What a great idea.

Whatever happened to break dancing anyway? They used to make movies about breakin' (Breakin', Breakin' 2: electric boogaloo) but now nothing. I guess 'You got served' comes close but it is nothing like the original. Throwing down a square piece of cardboard, putting on the members only jacket, and spinning on your back like a road kill turtle to the sweet sounds of a electric drum and synthesizer. Ahhhh the good old days.
 

maryshelley2006

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I did a family medicine rotation in a rural Southern town, and could not believe the insane mullets that ran rampant there...on women as well as men! Like serious, hard-core, tiny handful of strands down to the ass in the back, with a crew-cut style front. Why would anyone want to make themselves look like that? Other than ScarJo a few years back (despite her pretentiousness) I don't think I've ever seen anyone who could pull it off. I am regretting, though, that I didn't take a bunch of covert pics. I would have had a wealth of mullet data for these proposed papers.

There is that fashion celebrity photographer, David LaChapelle, who did a movie about high-speed crunk dancing a year or two ago. Somehow I don't think it had quite the charm of Breakin 2: Electric Boogaloo (which is a classic). Kids today don't know what good dancing is. They just think all you gotta do is flash everyone a la Paris Hilton, and you're golden.
 
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