Inappropriate Resident

[Aphasic]

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Anyone been hit on by their resident?

I keep getting inappropriate texts inviting me out for drinks from my MARRIED resident. Of course this is in the field I want to go into.

I'm off service now, but I still feel uncomfortable, and will continue to run into this person at department events, etc...

Anyone else ever been in my situation?

 

[Jacknut]

I would just recommend hooking up with this resident..it will increase your chances of getting into the program..

ps: no need to thank me 😎

 

[Doctor4Life1769]

I would just recommend hooking up with this resident..it will increase your chances of getting into the program..

ps: no need to thank me 😎

👍

 

[CK8652]

I keep getting inappropriate texts inviting me out for drinks from my MARRIED resident. Of course this is in the field I want to go into.

Text him back and ask him if his wife will be there, that should shut him up 🙂

 

[wholeheartedly]

Text him back and ask him if his wife will be there, that should shut him up 🙂

I had that thought, but that statement could really be taken the other way too... like
You: "is your wife gonna be there"
Him: "no" (hoping you'll respond: "good" )

Maybe you could spin this though and say something like:
"Will your wife be there? I'd love to meet her."

 

[ACSurgeon]

Anyone been hit on by their resident?

I keep getting inappropriate texts inviting me out for drinks from my MARRIED resident. Of course this is in the field I want to go into.

I'm off service now, but I still feel uncomfortable, and will continue to run into this person at department events, etc...

Anyone else ever been in my situation?

While this might be the most spinless suggestion of the bunch, I would recommend ignoring him or politely declining or stating you are in a relationship, etc. As a student you have to be careful about things backfiring. If it's to the point where you don't feel safe, then I would talk to someone from your school's administration.

 

[starkcrazy]

so it's not a friendly "let's all go out for drinks" or "hey you're cool and my favorite student, let me buy you a drink" type of thing? sometimes - the best thing to do is ignore. they're texts, not calls - so u can always say your texting service expired (really lame, i know... but "i don't get texts anymore" has worked for me in the past haha) or that you lost your phone or make up something when the need arises. the point is to avoid and to not cause any harm to your professional standing.

 

[Aphasic]

Well his wife lives out of the state, and I made it clear I'm in a relationship. I'll continue to nicely but explicitly avoid him. I just don't want to do anything to jeopardize my "career"

 

[McGillGrad]

If you want real advice, then here it is... be nice, but not too nice. Be careful to avoid sending serious signals while maintaining an ambiguous mixed-signal wavelength. Then drop him like a bad habit once your time is done.

You either work the situation or it works you.

 

[illegallysmooth]

Anyone been hit on by their resident?

I keep getting inappropriate texts inviting me out for drinks from my MARRIED resident. Of course this is in the field I want to go into.

I'm off service now, but I still feel uncomfortable, and will continue to run into this person at department events, etc...

Anyone else ever been in my situation?

Oh hey, maybe i know him! You're not in Buffalo, are you?

 

[IM Substance P]

Actually, being asked out by a resident is never appropriate. You need to report him. It's as simple as that.

What if an attending was doing this to you? Would you accept it?

Any physician -- be it resident or attending -- should be identified and reprimanded for trying to take advantage of a student. No joke.

It's way out of line. Talk to your Dean of Students or ombudsman or something.

 

[Scaredshizzles]

Actually, being asked out by a resident is never appropriate. You need to report him. It's as simple as that.

What if an attending was doing this to you? Would you accept it?

Any physician -- be it resident or attending -- should be identified and reprimanded for trying to take advantage of a student. No joke.

It's way out of line. Talk to your Dean of Students or ombudsman or something.

I disagree on reporting him, unless you have clearly told him no and he is in some way menacing you and trying to use his power (which residents don't usually have anyway as your attending evals matter much more most places) to force you to go out with him. I sense from the OP posts, that she has not quite clearly told him she doesn't want anything to do with him. Some guys are just dumb and don't get hints.

 

[MasterShakeDO]

I disagree on reporting him, unless you have clearly told him no and he is in some way menacing you and trying to use his power (which residents don't usually have anyway as your attending evals matter much more most places) to force you to go out with him. I sense from the OP posts, that she has not quite clearly told him she doesn't want anything to do with him. Some guys are just dumb and don't get hints.

While he is probably not overtly using his position, the mere fact is that she feels pressured to say yes because of he does have some affect on her grade/ability to match in her desired specialty. Nobody should be put in that position.

 

[obiwan]

is it only inappropriate because the resident is asking you to hang out (maybe its with a bunch of other residents) or is there some other comments that make it inappropriate?

 

[thepoopologist]

Poop on his face

 

[34140]

same here, its really difficult to deal with because i had to work with this guy on a daily basis and he was texting me after hours and stuff. and then when i moved to a different rotation he still texted me and made excuses to come to my floor to talk to me. eventually i made up a fiance and got him off my back. 😀 if it falls through ill just say the fiance was hitting on other girls behind me back.

 

[basupran]

No idea why they do this, but I have seen too many married residents (+/- children) hit on med students. What happened to decency? Or was it always like this?

 

[Aphasic]

Well I've been off service for a while, but the problem is that he's texting, and it's clearly inappropriate things like "You looked really cute today."

Just to clarify: I'm NOT interested, I DO have a fiance (which I have said, many many times), and he is married with children, but they live out of state.

It's a small specialty and I don't want to stir up anything. Anyways he will be leaving this June before I start my 4th-yr rotations so I can pretty much try to avoid him and be ok, though I still feel uncomfortable (I still hang out with the other residents, have seminars, lectures, and other events to attend, where I run into him quite often). I have been hit on before and I can usually deal with it pretty well, but I just got a creepy inappropriate vibe from him. I was just looking for somewhere to vent or maybe commiserate. Thanks everyone!

 

[footcloud]

That's disgusting...He's married with kids and flirting with a medical student? Yea where did decency go? Seems like marriage = nothing nowadays....

I feel sorry for you and you really shouldn't have to put up with this type of b.s.