Incoming Interns

[buckley]

Many threads have people asking about what books to read, what stuff to get etc. As for me, I am in that phase where I feel I can't do anything anymore to prepare for it, I mean beyond the waiting game. I am getting sentimental, waking up with fears and anxieties before starting internship...I guess mine is magnified by the fact that I'm moving miles away from home away from firends and families. But I was just wondering if there are others out there who have this generalized nausea, anorexia and definitely butterflies in the stomach with occasional palpitations. I would love to hear from you. I am happy to have this opportunity, and I am grateful to match...it's just that...well, I am afraid. Silly me, huh?! Hahaha

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[Doowai]

Many threads have people asking about what books to read, what stuff to get etc. As for me, I am in that phase where I feel I can't do anything anymore to prepare for it, I mean beyond the waiting game. I am getting sentimental, waking up with fears and anxieties before starting internship...I guess mine is magnified by the fact that I'm moving miles away from home away from firends and families. But I was just wondering if there are others out there who have this generalized nausea, anorexia and definitely butterflies in the stomach with occasional palpitations. I would love to hear from you. I am happy to have this opportunity, and I am grateful to match...it's just that...well, I am afraid. Silly me, huh?! Hahaha

For me its just depression and not wanting to go on. I have moved away from friends and family several times. Have no lived at home for almost 30 years and lived thousands of miles away from parents for decades.But this time I am moving thousands of miles away from my wife and kids. Its my sons senior year next year : he is very popular, gets picked for all sorts of special school activities (archeology trips to other states, ambassador trips to other countries, leadership conferences), is taking his second year of college credit calculus (as well as other college courses). Where I am moving is high crime, very poor and the schools suck. can't move him.He and I are very tight. We go to the gym together several times a week. 12 years of father son campouts. Last night I read my 6 year old a bed time story - thought how it is probably one of the last ones I ever get to read him. When I am done with residency in 3 years, he may not want a bedtime story read to him. The plan is to move them out in a year, but I hate to move them ever to such a poor sucky area to live in when right now they live in a great area with great schools.I really am depressed about it. I gave upa good career to do this. Preceptors use to ask me "are you crazy?". Now I know what they meant.

 

[c5a]

Someone just told me yesterday, "hopefully you don't end up in the divorce court," when i told him i was starting residency soon.

little does this person know that my parents are going through a divorce, and my wife's parents are going through one as well. bad timing!

i'm scared of what residency will do to my wife and child. i miss them already. but at least we are in a very nice town, near the beach, with lots of touristy things to do.

 

[crazylegs]

I'm a little scared and depressed too. I chose my residency almost solely based on location - I wanted to be closer to my bf of 3 years (LDR the whole time). I moved last year to be with him and did the majority of my 4th year rotations here, I matched at my #1 here in March.

So, now we've been 'together' together for almost 1 year, and I have all of my ducks lined up in a row regarding my career and our now non-LD relationship. Things should be great now, right? Not exactly. I'm starting to have my doubts about the relationship, and am at the point where I don't even think we'll be together when I start on July 1st. I don't know anyone else here except for him, his family, and his friends. And while I think the program that I matched into is a very good one, I am/will be stuck in a location that I could care less about, as opposed to some of the "dream" places I applied to and would have ranked higher if I was single.

It's not the worst of situations, but now I'm wishing I would have made different choices.

*Sigh* Girls are so stupid sometimes.

 

[Doowai]

I don't know anyone else here except for him, his family, and his friends. .

You will probably make friends pretty quickly and you will probably be pretty tight with your residency class.

 

[Doowai]

Someone just told me yesterday, "hopefully you don't end up in the divorce court," when i told him i was starting residency soon.

little does this person know that my parents are going through a divorce, and my wife's parents are going through one as well. bad timing!

i'm scared of what residency will do to my wife and child. i miss them already. but at least we are in a very nice town, near the beach, with lots of touristy things to do.

Have you see the Malcom in the Middle episode where his evil grandmother gets married by keeping some old guy drugged up on benzo'? Just a thought

 

[kirurg]

I'm a little scared and depressed too. I chose my residency almost solely based on location - I wanted to be closer to my bf of 3 years (LDR the whole time). I moved last year to be with him and did the majority of my 4th year rotations here, I matched at my #1 here in March.

So, now we've been 'together' together for almost 1 year, and I have all of my ducks lined up in a row regarding my career and our now non-LD relationship. Things should be great now, right? Not exactly. I'm starting to have my doubts about the relationship, and am at the point where I don't even think we'll be together when I start on July 1st. I don't know anyone else here except for him, his family, and his friends. And while I think the program that I matched into is a very good one, I am/will be stuck in a location that I could care less about, as opposed to some of the "dream" places I applied to and would have ranked higher if I was single.

It's not the worst of situations, but now I'm wishing I would have made different choices.

*Sigh* Girls are so stupid sometimes.

Reminds me of an attending who said, "Jobs are 10, women are 5." He said he keeps a job for 10 years and stays married for about 5. Kinda crazy...

I wouldn't worry about your decision. People always say not to let relationships get in the way of education, but I would say you did the right thing. You chose to do what was best for you and your boyfriend at the time. I'd venture to say that you're more of a "real person" than someone who tells her boyfriend, "sorry, we're done, I matched at Hopkins."

I made a rank list based on my current relationship. Who knows if it will work out, and I'm pretty sure I would have gotten a more prestigious match in another city. Doesn't really seem worth it though...

Best of luck with everything!

 

[Doowai]

I don't know anyone else here except for him, his family, and his friends. .

WHat about dating one of his family or friends?

 

[buckley]

Thanks for the inputs. It's not a case of misery loves company (I hope not!) but well, it helps me feel not as silly as I think I ought to be.

Doowai--Children are amazingly resilient, I think they know it when you love them even if you feel you are falling short. And in a way, isn't doing residency also something you are doing for them?

To the posters who ranked the place numero uno because of a relationship---I'm sure you are not the first person to have done that, and even if it won't work out between the two of you, there must be a reason why you were directed there. Also, at the end of the day, I think your choice just reflected your priorities in life, which is nothing to be ashamed of. In fact I might second the post that it is even quite admirable. I can relate with the fear of not knowing anybody though. Sheesh, I feel like a little kid writing, "Dear Diary, please let them like me..."

As for me, I live with my mother and I am afraid she will be very lonely without me. So while I am afraid for me, I am afraid for her as well. I know in mainstream American culture, this is quite embarassing ( I believe it is called "failure to launch"? I remember the movie...). In our culture though, children really do stay with their parents and take care of them. But my mom is being so unorthdox in letting me go and following my dream, which she says is hers as well. But now, I am asking if the dream is really worth the price. Unfortunately, parents are not considered dependents in terms of visa laws.

It will be my chance to grow up, be independent, yada yada yada...I am grateful, but I will really miss her. What we say to each other is Kahlil Gibran's verse, "Joy and Sorrow flow from the same cup." What makes us sorrowful now is a measure of how much joy we have with each other. And what makes us sorrowful now, will bring us joy when we are once again together.

 

[fab4fan]

If you're not scared, you're going to be a bad intern. The fear means that you acknowledge the gravity of your responsibility, and realize that your mistakes can kill. Over time you start to deal with the fear, but I'm almost done with this year and my heart still beats fast at least once a night on call.

My first month of internship, I got stopped by a nurse because an ENT patient with her jaw wired shut had two episodes of vomiting, they didn't have wire cutters at the bedside, and the prn Zofran wasn't controlling the nausea.The intern on call said he wouldn't be coming to see the patient, because it was "nothing serious".

Just don't be that guy, and you'll be fine.

Wow. Makes you wonder why they didn't have the wire-cutters at the bedside, though. That's sort of, uhm, protocol. All the anti-emetics in the world aren't going to help if you don't have an airway.

 

[Faebinder]

Many threads have people asking about what books to read, what stuff to get etc. As for me, I am in that phase where I feel I can't do anything anymore to prepare for it, I mean beyond the waiting game. I am getting sentimental, waking up with fears and anxieties before starting internship...I guess mine is magnified by the fact that I'm moving miles away from home away from firends and families. But I was just wondering if there are others out there who have this generalized nausea, anorexia and definitely butterflies in the stomach with occasional palpitations. I would love to hear from you. I am happy to have this opportunity, and I am grateful to match...it's just that...well, I am afraid. Silly me, huh?! Hahaha

One Woman/Man 180 lbs prn anxiety,
Get Laid 1-2 times qdaily (PO, Vaginal, or Anal),
Disp #60 encounters, Refill X2

 

[Rogue_Leader]

One Woman/Man 180 lbs prn anxiety,
Get Laid 1-2 times qdaily (PO, Vaginal, or Anal),
Disp #60 encounters, Refill X2

Am I going to have to be the one who points out the differences in relative attractiveness between a 180 pound man and a 180 pound woman?

 

[Faebinder]

Am I going to have to be the one who points out the differences in relative attractiveness between a 180 pound man and a 180 pound woman?

What if she was a 6' 0" girl? Let it go, I'm just guestimating a mediocre number everyone can work with.

 

[buckley]

Wait...you think I'm a 180 lb male/female based on what I said?

anyway, back to the posts, i just thought it would be nice to have a "ranting" thread to help cope with the stress of begining internship that isn't exactly about it...if it didn't happen to you or if it's not happening to you, then be happy... But then again, it does happen, and maybe it helps some to just hear about them. Thanks Tired!

 

[Faebinder]

Wait...you think I'm a 180 lb male/female based on what I said?

anyway, back to the posts, i just thought it would be nice to have a "ranting" thread to help cope with the stress of begining internship that isn't exactly about it...if it didn't happen to you or if it's not happening to you, then be happy... But then again, it does happen, and maybe it helps some to just hear about them. Thanks Tired!

Just when I had it suppressed you brought it out.... hence the get laid prescription.

 

[Doowai]

Doowai--Children are amazingly resilient, I think they know it when you love them even if you feel you are falling short. And in a way, isn't doing residency also something you are doing for them?

.

Screw them Its me I am worried about.

Seriously though, alot of it is how much I will miss them. Parents get as much or more out of the relationship than the kids - I imagine in the right situation my kids would throw me to the sharks if we were stranded on a life raft and thats the way it should be. Part of it is how much I will miss them when I am away

 

[buckley]

Doowai--i think you are waaay more nurturing than you would like people to see...but i wont argue with you though...hahahaha


I am having such a hard time with my net connection! This is the 3rd time Im typing this... Hmmm...

 

[Doowai]

Doowai--i think you are waaay more nurturing than you would like people to see...but i wont argue with you though...hahahaha


I am having such a hard time with my net connection! This is the 3rd time Im typing this... Hmmm...

Aaaugghhh, I KNOW. I have a thread going on business management in the family medicine forum and soooooo many times I will have written some long post, only to hit the "submit reply" button and have the screen go to the log in telling me I have to log in. I will have spent 20 minutes typing up something eloquently, get booted and go back and retype it , in a hurry and in frustration like I am a 5th grader.

 

[Doowai]

It is very rare that I feel a sense of community. Today I read a teachers article on wealth - that real wealth is measured by what can't be taken from us, and not what we have that could be taken from us. A sense of community is one thing he ranked highly in wealth.

Rarely I have felt this. I feel it at work now (I am teaching until residency starts) and I feel it with my children. I dread moving and losing a sense of community.

 

[Top Gun]

It is very rare that I feel a sense of community. Today I read a teachers article on wealth - that real wealth is measured by what can't be taken from us, and not what we have that could be taken from us. A sense of community is one thing he ranked highly in wealth.

Rarely I have felt this. I feel it at work now (I am teaching until residency starts) and I feel it with my children. I dread moving and losing a sense of community.

Wow, are you sure you still want to do medicine? It sounds like you really love teaching.

 

[buckley]

I dread moving and losing a sense of community.

Amen. Since word got out that I might be leaving for residency, it's unbelievable how many well wishers I've had calling. And I am like, "Oh my God, do I really want to give this up?" These people know me so well, they know what ice cream flavor I like, what songs I want to hear, and they give the best hugs But whose to say we won't bring this sense of community with us, it shoudln't be bound by geography, right? And whose to say we won't find new communities too? That's what I tell the anxious little devil over my shoulder.

 

[Top Gun]

It will be hard maintaining a sense of community with family members or friends that we are leaving behind. On the other hand, though, each of us will have a new class of interns coming in with us. I suspect that working together for at least 3 years will give us all a new sense of community, provided we have nice people in our classes.

 

[ineedsleep]

I think this thread might be what I need. I've lived in the same state for all my life. I have never lived more than a 1.5 hours from my parents. I love the fact that I can walk into a grocery store or coffee shop and run into people I know. I'm glad to have matched, but its more than 2,000 mi from home. And well the weather's very different (I tend to believe I'm freezing to death when it is less than 70). And so is the town. The couple residents I've met seem nice, but it's not the same. I know there are good people everywhere, but I kinda like what I have here. The known is more comfortable than the unknown. A month and two days before the epic drive out there.

 

[buckley]

Yep. Adjusting to the weather is a big issue for me too! Yesterday our ground temperature reached 34 deg centigrade (ok, what's the formula for fahrenheit again?...that's another thing I have to adjust to. But whatever it is, that is hot!) and I am moving to Chicago! Before the interview season, I have never even seen snow...except in the movies and the snow globes!

I agree that the unfamiliar is pretty scary. And sometimes even if it's the same thing (i.e. McDonalads or you go to a restaurant that prepares your cuisine), it feels so weird how it's not the same thing. You tend to look for the little things that remind you of home. I remember seeing a cat who looked a lot like the cat I have back home, I ended up crying, and my friend never lets me forget I got sentimental over a kitty!

 

[koyaanisqatsi]

I'm actually finishing up my internship year in Chicago and moving to Houston for my advanced spot, which is pretty scary for me, especially since I may only have three days between my last day of work as an intern and my first day of residency orientation. (I'm on a floor month in June and requested a call schedule such that I'd be able to take off two days early to make a total of five days between internship and residency, but I'm not sure if that'll happen.) It's going to be really hectic trying to move in during that short period, but hopefully orientation won't be too time-consuming or energy-draining. Since moving to Chicago, I've gotten really used to walking around or taking public transit to eat, shop, play, and run errands, so it's going to be vastly different being in a city where I'm most likely going to have to drive around to do most of those things. Although I've only lived here for six years (med school + year of research + internship), I've made a lot of friends outside of medicine, so it's going to be tough giving up that support network, or at least not seeing my friends in person nearly as often. I'm also bummed that I'm leaving this place right when the weather is starting to get really nice and arriving in Houston when it's super hot and humid. I feel like after suffering through the worst Chicago winter in the past six years that I've lived here, I'm being pulled away before I can reap the benefits of the gorgeous summer! Anyway, I'm on my one-and-only four-week break for internship year right now and know that I'm absolutely not going to be in any mindset to be back on the floors in June, both because it's the end of a tough year and because I'm going to be sentimental about leaving this great city.

 

[ineedsleep]

I'm actually finishing up my internship year in Chicago and moving to Houston for my advanced spot, which is pretty scary for me, especially since I may only have three days between my last day of work as an intern and my first day of residency orientation. (I'm on a floor month in June and requested a call schedule such that I'd be able to take off two days early to make a total of five days between internship and residency, but I'm not sure if that'll happen.) It's going to be really hectic trying to move in during that short period, but hopefully orientation won't be too time-consuming or energy-draining. Since moving to Chicago, I've gotten really used to walking around or taking public transit to eat, shop, play, and run errands, so it's going to be vastly different being in a city where I'm most likely going to have to drive around to do most of those things. Although I've only lived here for six years (med school + year of research + internship), I've made a lot of friends outside of medicine, so it's going to be tough giving up that support network, or at least not seeing my friends in person nearly as often. I'm also bummed that I'm leaving this place right when the weather is starting to get really nice and arriving in Houston when it's super hot and humid. I feel like after suffering through the worst Chicago winter in the past six years that I've lived here, I'm being pulled away before I can reap the benefits of the gorgeous summer! Anyway, I'm on my one-and-only four-week break for internship year right now and know that I'm absolutely not going to be in any mindset to be back on the floors in June, both because it's the end of a tough year and because I'm going to be sentimental about leaving this great city.

Chicago. It's just a great city. But you'll probably love the Houston winters a big more. I'm lucky 'cause I'm doing the opposite. I'm leaving 110F heat (but it's a dry heat) for cooler temps in June. Winter will be a new experience.

I definitely am going to miss my support network especially the non medical people. I got a cool new cell phone and a plan with a whole lot of minutes to stay in touch.

 

[buckley]

I hope I will learn to love winter too. I'm also going to be moving for my advanced year, I just applied for a terminal leave. I hope it gets approved!
I heard that AT&T to AT&T calls are free

 

[Doowai]

I think this thread might be what I need. I've lived in the same state for all my life. I have never lived more than a 1.5 hours from my parents. I love the fact that I can walk into a grocery store or coffee shop and run into people I know. I'm glad to have matched, but its more than 2,000 mi from home. And well the weather's very different (I tend to believe I'm freezing to death when it is less than 70). And so is the town. The couple residents I've met seem nice, but it's not the same. I know there are good people everywhere, but I kinda like what I have here. The known is more comfortable than the unknown. A month and two days before the epic drive out there.

I get along best with my mom at 1500 miles between us.

I hope I get along with my class. There is only one other guy in it. I am dreading the humidity and the bugs. And the poverty. And living in an apartment. And the crime.

 

[DOCTORSAIB]

Will I be shot if I say I'm "excited" about internship in this thread?

Man, thank God I'm not married, have no kids (none that I know of) and living even closer to family/friends in VA/DC once I move to Baltimore for internship...

 

[buckley]

Will I be shot if I say I'm "excited" about internship in this thread?

living even closer to family/friends in VA/DC once I move to Baltimore for internship...

Nah, I am happy for you
I am "excited" too, but I guess it's the mix of that with dread that creates the potent anxiety pill.

 

[OB1🤙]

No. You should be excited. Internship is sometimes difficult, but way fricking better than medical school.

QFT.

 

[Top Gun]

Nah, I am happy for you
I am "excited" too, but I guess it's the mix of that with dread that creates the potent anxiety pill.

That's how I feel too. A mix of eagerness, anticipation, and terror.

 

[deleted109597]

That's how I feel too. A mix of eagerness, anticipation, and terror.

The first two pass quickly.
If you're smart, the third won't for years.

 

[theCamel]

The first two pass quickly.
If you're smart, the third won't for years.

??? you're still constantly terrified?

 

[deleted109597]

??? you're still constantly terrified?

Yep. I also have PTSD with the sound of my pager.

 

[Jumpu]

I think I have PTSD to the sound of other people's pagers too...with a completely different ring.

 

[fuzzyerin]

Yep. I also have PTSD with the sound of my pager.

I agree to both the terrified thing and the pager thing.

Being terrified, that should never leave, because then you'll miss stuff. As long as you always have in the back of your mind "is there something else," you'll be fine.

And the pager thing...I hear music on the radio and the background sounds like my pager. And now, when it goes off (as the third year, and now soon to be chief) I think "why the hell are people paging me, they're supposed to be paging the intern!"

 

[deleted109597]

And the pager thing...I hear music on the radio and the background sounds like my pager. And now, when it goes off (as the third year, and now soon to be chief) I think "why the hell are people paging me, they're supposed to be paging the intern!"

There is an old Biggie Smalls song that has a beeper sound in it. I heard it driving in one morning at like, 430, and was furious that someone would be paging me that early.
Also, at the front of my hospital, they have a flatscreen that has "Hospital" commercials on it. 24/7 loop. One of them has all the doctors getting a page and going to some meeting. When I walk by it in the morning, I want to punch it.

 

[buckley]

I agree with the PTSD. I once saw a resident (yep, a surgery resident) hurl his pager on the wall. I finished internship outside the US, and good lord, the first few weeks out, I was so jumpy everytime I heard a beep. I distinctly remember that feeling of dread as I press to read the message...and the relief when it's just a message from a friend, and not something I have to do or worry about. I've become such a trouble shooter after internship, i felt i was always looking for the next "bad thing to fix". I don't ever want to go that way again.

Starting in a new country however, when that pager goes off, I'll know it's not from a friend

 

[DreamLover]

Yep. I also have PTSD with the sound of my pager.

I concur

Whenever my pager goes off....I want to puke

then...I get angry

then I start to cuss under my breath at the idea of anyone paging me-it could be 3pm or 3am, it doesn't matter

I immediately return every page I get...

then I am usually put on hold while the "emergent 3am pager" is hunted down and eventually makes it to the phone to let me know that they were reviewing the med reconciliation form (of a patient I am cross covering on and have never seen in my life) and at home they were one metoprolol bid and here it was only ordered QD...would I like to change that to bid she asks...

I then ask, "what is the patient's BP?"

She states, "121/70"

I say nothing....I collect myself....I look at the pager again to make sure it really was 3am and then I say very nicely, "I think he'll be okay until the morning when his team rounds on him. Feel free to ask them if they wish to change the order, thank you."

Then I sit there, hate IM a little more and count down the days until I never step foot on a ward again!

 

[Winged Scapula]

In that case above, it warrants a conversation with nursing supervisors. There is no reason to make non-emergent pages at 300 am especially for the reason you describe - stable patient, normal vital signs, for a change in medication which would not be redosed until 0800 am.

Many hospitals/allied health providers do not understand the "page only for emergencies over night" as they assume that you are working a shift. Even if you are the night float and are working a shift, there seems to be little reason to be dealing with those issues at 0300.

 

[DreamLover]

In that case above, it warrants a conversation with nursing supervisors. There is no reason to make non-emergent pages at 300 am especially for the reason you describe - stable patient, normal vital signs, for a change in medication which would not be redosed until 0800 am.

Many hospitals/allied health providers do not understand the "page only for emergencies over night" as they assume that you are working a shift. Even if you are the night float and are working a shift, there seems to be little reason to be dealing with those issues at 0300.

Well, that exact instance just occured on my last call Friday night (or Sat morning I guess) and honestly, it has happened at every hospital I've taken call at this year...always a couple a night just like that...from diet orders to SSI questions like "The sliding scale says give X units of regular insulin when the blood sugar is Y....do you want me to do that" and then I say, "....uuuuhhhhhhh...what do you think?"...actually, I'd like to, but what I really say is yes and then hang up.

I'm lucky to have whatever is left of my sanity at this point in the game....I'm not up for fighting any system...I want to do my time and get out...Residency is more like the military than I ever imagined!

25 days left for me and then my IM endentured servitude is over!!

 

[Winged Scapula]

Well, that exact instance just occured on my last call Friday night (or Sat morning I guess) and honestly, it has happened at every hospital I've taken call at this year...always a couple a night just like that...from diet orders to SSI questions like "The sliding scale says give X units of regular insulin when the blood sugar is Y....do you want me to do that" and then I say, "....uuuuhhhhhhh...what do you think?"...actually, I'd like to, but what I really say is yes and then hang up.

I'm lucky to have whatever is left of my sanity at this point in the game....I'm not up for fighting any system...I want to do my time and get out...Residency is more like the military than I ever imagined!

25 days left for me and then my IM endentured servitude is over!!

But NOW is the perfect time. You're leaving, they can't hurt you anymore!

I know, its happened at every hospital I've ever worked too and it still happens as an attending (but much less), but it drives me nuts to hear about it. Its soooo ridiculous.

 

[Faebinder]

The nights I carried the service pager were stressful... even if when no one called. Yesterday an attending's pager went off and I nearly jumped in conference as I leaned down to check my pager.

 

[Dr Serenity]

But NOW is the perfect time. You're leaving, they can't hurt you anymore!

Ah, but you forgot one of the cardinal rules of the House of God...They can ALWAYS hurt you more!

 

[Faebinder]

Ah, but you forgot one of the cardinal rules of the House of God...They can ALWAYS hurt you more!

So so so true.... You might need a letter confirming you did internship over there or some hospital privilage signed from them... beware.

 

[DreamLover]

Ah, but you forgot one of the cardinal rules of the House of God...They can ALWAYS hurt you more!

So true....and knowing my luck...if there's a way they can....they will!

 

[Gfunk6]

'TERNS!!!!!

 

[Winged Scapula]

Eh, the nurses aren't on the medical staff doing the credentialing.

I'd say STAND UP FOR YOURSELF, THINK OF ALL YOUR BROTHERS AND SISTERS WHO WILL COME AFTER YOU AND MAKE THEIR LIFE A LITTLE EASIER!!!

Fight the Power!!!!

 

[Doowai]

"...actually, I'd like to, but what I really say is yes and then hang up.

!

I pray I can be that civil, even from day one when I am a grunt. I mean, I expect someone smart enough to get through nursing school (and be qualified to then get a DNP) to have enough common sense not to call about such an issue. I have such a cutting tongue at times.

I am use to teaching in an inner city school for 2 years with heavy gang influence where I have been able to say anything I want, even shocking things at times. And before that 16 years of owning a business , and just firing anyone I wanted.

I talked to a classmate of mine for about 20 minutes about that very thing today. I will have a hard time not saying : DAYUM. Are you drunk? Did you do nursing school by correspondance? Is today your first day on the job (pause) - no that is a serious question? Is it? If you tell me its your first day I will be cool - but if you have worked here even 2 days I am going to crawl up your *** and explode. Hello? How long have you worked here? Do you need some extra fingers to count on? Do I need to speak slower? How... long..... have....... you...... worked...... here?

I am confessing here, not bragging. I really hope I can be half way civil and not get fired. Most websites I belong to and post on are for blue collar redneck, sports loving, gun toting, uber straight males. When I first started posting here I got numerous warnings for being a bit course. Its very hard to be civil sometimes in real life.

Last week we had alot of fights at school. Only time I have been scared there - and we had already had 2 gun incidents this year. But this day was something - numerous police cars at different times. Parents arrested for fighting. Its a crazy school at times. One kid had shot up a car on 87th and encanto with an automatic assault rifle with a 100 round clip - and other than that I do not know anything, I could not tell you who it was or any authorities that might be reading. The kid did not get arrested and had left the scene by the time the police got there - and I am claiming not to know anything else. If I am queried maybe it is all just rumor. I had a crip and a blood in my class, and held up my left fist and said this one is called crip killer and held up my right fist and said this one is called blood killer. Luckily they did not kick my ***. I have cussed so much in the last 2 years teaching,.... how can I go all day without cussing?

But I am not used to being civil. I am used to threatening people in my work environment with violence and it being cool. I really am worried I can't tip toe all around the issue and be all polite to a *****. And then have that nursing ***** go on to be called doctor years later with a DNP.

Just wanna slap em silly :http://youtube.com/watch?v=ZarSjMWe6zI