Inter-Service Marriage

[Asher2011]

My boyfriend is Army and I'm Navy, in our second year of medical school. We have recently been talking about our future, and if it would work to stay our own services and come what may, or if he should consider a lateral transfer to the Navy.

I did some amateurish research online, but cannot find any blogs or advice as to what to do. In the past, we both just assumed we could make it work, but after being on different coasts for just two weeks, it was very difficult.

If anybody has any advice for two future doctors trying to figure out whether an Army/Navy mixed marriage can work, or if it would be better to be in one service, it would be most appreciated!

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[a1qwerty55]

I'd lateral transfer to the Army. The Army usually is a little more interested in keeping couples together, has more straight through training opportunities. At least one of you is likely to be a GMO in the Navy - and that could mean 3 years separated.

 

[NavyFP]

I'd lateral transfer to the Army. The Army usually is a little more interested in keeping couples together, has more straight through training opportunities. At least one of you is likely to be a GMO in the Navy - and that could mean 3 years separated.

That's not true, the Navy is just as concerned about keeping couples together as the Army. Separation is dependant on a multitude of factors and can happen in any service.

 

[TheGoose]

for just two weeks, it was very difficult.

Even if you are the same branch, deployments last a lot longer than 2 weeks and certainly wont be a easy to work through....best of luck for the two of you on the switch though

 

[elderjack21]

One of you should lateral transfer to the other branch...once you are married. I don't think that either of the services will allow you to transfer prior to being married.

After that, sticking together as docs shouldn't be so difficult as long as you try to stick to some of the larger hospitals that have both of your specialties.

Also, I have known multiple husband/wife teams to deploy together to the same locations...and even to be shacked up together. Both medical and non-medical. So you can make that work as well.

 

[The White Coat Investor]

Also, I have known multiple husband/wife teams to deploy together to the same locations...and even to be shacked up together. Both medical and non-medical. So you can make that work as well.

I've known multiple husband/wife teams that deployed together and COULDN'T BE SHACKED UP TOGETHER. They worked together for 6 months but couldn't have sex (at least in theory, I didn't follow them around to the bunkers.)

 

[del Sol DOHC]

If they're married, they probably didn't want to anyway.

 

[manucelt]

Cohabitation in theatre is a command decision. General Order 1 prevents non married cohabitation regardless of the situation and this has been irrationally extended to not even allow members of the opposite sex in each others rooms. If you are married and end up deploying together you shouldn't have an issue

 

[backrow]

To actually help the OP a little bit:

It would be best if one of you transferred to the other service. If one of you is Army and the other Navy the only place I can think of off the top of my that you could truly be stationed together is either Washington, DC or Seattle/Bremerton Washington. And to get that to work would be some serious wrangling. The key for the transfer is the getting married part. You cannot start the transfer package until you are married and even then it takes a long time to get it finalized. Sometimes the services institute a 1:1 switch where if you are trying to go Army somebody else out there has to want to switch to Navy. I would recommend contacting HPSP program office to get more information about transfers as there is quite a bit to it. The sooner you get married the better (for this issue) as the GME application process can become quite muddled if one of you is still Army trying to apply to Navy programs. It usually works out, but it is better if you are already in the "right" service.

 

[The White Coat Investor]

Cohabitation in theatre is a command decision. General Order 1 prevents non married cohabitation regardless of the situation and this has been irrationally extended to not even allow members of the opposite sex in each others rooms. If you are married and end up deploying together you shouldn't have an issue

Is it just me or does sentence 3 completely negate sentences 1 and 2?

 

[DrLtoBe]

Are you both HPSP? If you are, then transferring branches married or not is going to be a challenge. I am Navy HPSP and husband is not but is AD AF, I wanted to go to AF HPSP because his job won't transfer well to Navy, in order to make the switch you need a direct 1 to 1 transfer with a student in the opposite branch. So for me I would need a fourth year AF HPSP willing to go Navy, the process to transfer takes approximately 9-12 months and is as much fun paperwork as you can imagine.

Good Luck!

 

[a1qwerty55]

That's not true, the Navy is just as concerned about keeping couples together as the Army. Separation is dependant on a multitude of factors and can happen in any service.

Maybe things are different now but I can remember the USN separating a couple for 3 years because they needed an Orthopedist in Okinawa. The wife was also a physican and Army - and the Navy was totally inflexible. The Army offered to fill the Okinawa Navy billet with an Army Orthopedist, and let the Navy guy stay with his wife in an Army slot. The Navy said no dice. Just an anecdote I know but pretty draconian if you ask me.

The bigger issue is the GMO one. If you are both Navy - odds are one of you will get a GMO and it probably Will Not be at a residency training site. The cold hard truth is that the Army has fewer GMO's and interruptions in training meaning that a couple in the Army has a much higher chance of completing residency together at the same site than a Navy couple.

 

[NavyFP]

Maybe things are different now but I can remember the USN separating a couple for 3 years because they needed an Orthopedist in Okinawa. The wife was also a physican and Army - and the Navy was totally inflexible. The Army offered to fill the Okinawa Navy billet with an Army Orthopedist, and let the Navy guy stay with his wife in an Army slot. The Navy said no dice. Just an anecdote I know but pretty draconian if you ask me.
Totally draconian considering the Army was willing to cough up an orthopod. But that is for a bi-service couple. If both are the same service, the detailers work hard to not separate the couple.

The bigger issue is the GMO one. If you are both Navy - odds are one of you will get a GMO and it probably Will Not be at a residency training site. The cold hard truth is that the Army has fewer GMO's and interruptions in training meaning that a couple in the Army has a much higher chance of completing residency together at the same site than a Navy couple.
I agree with you here.

All that said. Navy is not inclined to let people go without a swap.

 

[a1qwerty55]

All that said. Navy is not inclined to let people go without a swap.

That's the point of the story.. The Army offered to swap, the Navy declined for no logical reason that I can see.

 

[NavyFP]

That's the point of the story.. The Army offered to swap, the Navy declined for no logical reason that I can see.

I didn't see an Army person willing to go Navy in the thread. I can't see the Navy saying no if there were a comparable swap. (an Army student in the same graduating class)