iwannabehappyMD
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I am an intern currently regretting my specialty choice in EM.
After submitting ERAS last year and going on to complete required 4th year electives, I found myself enjoying a few other specialties more and realized I may have made a mistake in choosing EM. I thought about reaching out to people to figure out how to switch but I told myself it was too late and there was a reason I chose EM, so decided to go through with the process.
Now that I've done a good amount of EM in residency, I just can't see myself doing this long-term. During my sub-i's, I thought I got a good feel for it and really enjoyed it but my experience in residency has been so much different. I think part of it may be being in a different hospital environment than my sub-i's, but I am also realizing things inherent to EM that make it hard for me to have a long career in this specialty. I focused so much on how I would get to become a jack of all trades who could handle anything that I ignored when people talked about the high stress, constant chaos, burnout, inconsistent schedules, having to work many holidays/weekends, and most of your shifts being when others in society are off of work. As an eager-for-anything medical student it was hard to get this through my head until now that I have signed up for this life. In these almost 6 months, I can already see how its gonna take a toll on those around me including my partner.
My co-residents talk about how they love the chaos but for me it just makes me anxious going to work or thinking ahead to an EM block. I find myself dreading the ED after an off-service rotation compared to others who are glad to be back. Some of the things I don't like are traumas because I wish I could just focus on the patients in front of me or how frequently my attendings hit me with the lets just reach out to so and so service for things that I've seen managed by EM docs in the community. I am in a 4-year ivory/academic program, so I think the volumes are just heavy and our attendings are trying to manage a bunch of residents/patients/traumas and its easier to defer to consulting for some management decisions. In off-service rotations I often see the attendings working one-on-one with their residents to get them to be really good at what they do. I really wish I had that, but in the ED this has been rare for me because I don't even know where my attendings are most of the time.
I know the grass is greener but its hard to put in the hours for 3.5 more years when I cannot see myself enjoying what I'll be doing at the end of the road. If I continue down this path I would only be trying to escape EM and it makes me sad that after all these years of grinding/delaying my life I chose a career I am not happy in. I do like clinical medicine and love being there for patients, but I think I realized EM isn't for me and I don't know what to do at this point. My evals have been really good in EM and off-service but its already past ERAS and am unsure of my options even if I did want to switch into something else and if i'd get any credit for what i've done. Things that I am interested in are: Psych, PM&R, Anesthesia, FM.
Its also the holidays and maybe i'm just down because I'll be missing time with family, but regardless I would appreciate any advice.
If it makes any difference in my options: T25 MD, Step 1 - pass, Step 2 - 250, decent amount of extra-curricular work
TLDR; EM intern currently realizing they made a mistake in their specialty choice
After submitting ERAS last year and going on to complete required 4th year electives, I found myself enjoying a few other specialties more and realized I may have made a mistake in choosing EM. I thought about reaching out to people to figure out how to switch but I told myself it was too late and there was a reason I chose EM, so decided to go through with the process.
Now that I've done a good amount of EM in residency, I just can't see myself doing this long-term. During my sub-i's, I thought I got a good feel for it and really enjoyed it but my experience in residency has been so much different. I think part of it may be being in a different hospital environment than my sub-i's, but I am also realizing things inherent to EM that make it hard for me to have a long career in this specialty. I focused so much on how I would get to become a jack of all trades who could handle anything that I ignored when people talked about the high stress, constant chaos, burnout, inconsistent schedules, having to work many holidays/weekends, and most of your shifts being when others in society are off of work. As an eager-for-anything medical student it was hard to get this through my head until now that I have signed up for this life. In these almost 6 months, I can already see how its gonna take a toll on those around me including my partner.
My co-residents talk about how they love the chaos but for me it just makes me anxious going to work or thinking ahead to an EM block. I find myself dreading the ED after an off-service rotation compared to others who are glad to be back. Some of the things I don't like are traumas because I wish I could just focus on the patients in front of me or how frequently my attendings hit me with the lets just reach out to so and so service for things that I've seen managed by EM docs in the community. I am in a 4-year ivory/academic program, so I think the volumes are just heavy and our attendings are trying to manage a bunch of residents/patients/traumas and its easier to defer to consulting for some management decisions. In off-service rotations I often see the attendings working one-on-one with their residents to get them to be really good at what they do. I really wish I had that, but in the ED this has been rare for me because I don't even know where my attendings are most of the time.
I know the grass is greener but its hard to put in the hours for 3.5 more years when I cannot see myself enjoying what I'll be doing at the end of the road. If I continue down this path I would only be trying to escape EM and it makes me sad that after all these years of grinding/delaying my life I chose a career I am not happy in. I do like clinical medicine and love being there for patients, but I think I realized EM isn't for me and I don't know what to do at this point. My evals have been really good in EM and off-service but its already past ERAS and am unsure of my options even if I did want to switch into something else and if i'd get any credit for what i've done. Things that I am interested in are: Psych, PM&R, Anesthesia, FM.
Its also the holidays and maybe i'm just down because I'll be missing time with family, but regardless I would appreciate any advice.
If it makes any difference in my options: T25 MD, Step 1 - pass, Step 2 - 250, decent amount of extra-curricular work
TLDR; EM intern currently realizing they made a mistake in their specialty choice
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