Intern Year, Spouse Deploying. Dog???

[12EM12]

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Hi everyone. I'm a new member. I know this seems like a slightly random question but I hope someone can help me out. I'm about to begin the process of applying into EM residency programs. My fiance (soon to be husband) recently found out that he will be deploying to Iraq this spring for about a year. He's in the Army reserves and while he has done this before, I have never done this and I'm quite nervous about it. One of the first things I thought was "I need to get a dog." The idea of coming home to an empty apartment everyday is a sad thought to me. Do you think this is at feasible during intern year? I would obviously hire a dog walker to come walk once during the day. Thanks for your input.

 

[njac]

depending how long he will be gone, you can also get a roommate, which will help with living expenses as well.

I am moving across the country (again) and found a roommate who is more excited about my dog moving in than I am. Win:win situation!

 

[deleted109597]

While doable, a cat might serve you better.
Dogs don't handle call well. I used to have to board mine intern year on call days. It got old and expensive.
Also, the size of your yard is important, because if the dog is inside all day, then it definitely needs to get out and play some after you get home. It was hard staying awake after a night of working to play frisbee so my dog wouldn't endlessly pace while I tried to sleep post call.

 

[kungfufishing]

As much as the thought of coming home to an empty house sucks for you, think of how that empty house will be for the dog there alone all day. I wouldn't do it.

 

[Stitch]

My wife and I lived apart for a year after dating in separate cities for several years. She got a dog, then went on to do an internship in general surgery. The dog had plenty of space and we paid to have a dog walker come by quite often. She also had a couple of friends who were dog lovers and they would bring the dog to their house for company sometimes.

She picked the dog carefully. It was an older dog (3 years) so she didn't have to do the puppy stuff. It was also a small dog and didn't need a huge yard to run around in.

In the end it was worth it. The joy the dog brought her (and now me since we live together) during that year really kept her going.

But the bottom line is that you have to be willing to find the people and pay the money. On top of that, find a low maintenance dog that fits your living space. Otherwise it's just cruel to the animal, and that's not cool.

 

[sunshinevet]

Get a cat. An older one, so you know if it will be affectionate or not. Then pretty much, you will have company and affection when you want it, and the knowledge that it doesn't really care when you're not there (as long as it gets fed, and it has a scratching post.)

Almost every single pet dog in the world exhibits some form of seperation anxiety. They need way more than walks - they crave companionship. I don't think it would be nice for the dog, and it would be HORRIBLE for you to have to deal with the almost inevitable behavioural problems.

 

[peppy]

I agree it would be easier to look for a friendly cat (or even two, since two aren't much more trouble than one and then they can keep each other entertained). Dogs are a much bigger commitment than cats are. I have had cats since my 2nd year of med school and it hasn't been a problem at all.

 

[WilcoWorld]

ditto the above

It will be extremely difficult (though not impossible) to give your dog enough attention as an effectively single intern. I recommend you think very hard about how much of a commitment this will be before you get the dog, and should you chose to do so, you should almost certainly not get a puppy - an older dog with less energy will do much better.

I know this is pretty far from the advice you asked for, but if you're going to be alone intern year, you might seriously consider trying to match somewhere near family and/or friends. A support system outside of work makes a huge difference.

 

[deleted65604]

Cats are only useful as dog-food.

What?

 

[12EM12]

Thanks everyone for your advice, I really appreciate it. In theory I agree with everyone who says that getting a cat would be a better option. Unfortunately, my fiance is allergic so its not a good choice for me in the long term 🙁 I also definitely hear where people are coming from in terms of the dog and I certainly won't make the decision without a lot of thought and planning. After hearing your advice, I'm leaning towards not doing it but I'll keep thinking.

WilcoWorld, thank you for that advice about matching and I definitely agree with you. I have a network of friends here and both my family and my fiance's family are both within driving distance so I'm really hoping to stay close to where I am currently. I think it would be a difficult time for me to step out of my comfort zone and be away from support systems.

 

[njac]

WilcoWorld, thank you for that advice about matching and I definitely agree with you. I have a network of friends here and both my family and my fiance's family are both within driving distance so I'm really hoping to stay close to where I am currently. I think it would be a difficult time for me to step out of my comfort zone and be away from support systems.

Yeah, a year ago I wouldn't have had much to say about it. But having moved across the country away from friends/boyfriend and still being at least 8 hours from really anyone I knew... I would do things differently.

Residency by itself is hard enough. Throwing in having to put down my dog, a break up, and normal " life sucks" stuff into this year while effectively not having anyone to go to has really been crappy. I've made some great friends, but they have their own lives (and residencies) to contend with at the same time.

 

[dchristismi]

My dogs were essential to me staying sane in residency. I had 3 (4 now), but I also had a layabout, chronically-unemployed alcoholic husband whose only real function was as a dogsitter. (He didn't start out like that, but that's how he ended up.) The dogs were a big reason why I stayed with him, as it wasn't much of a marriage. Also, residency would have been a crappy time to try to separate, and honestly, my dogs were more important. Heck, I figured that if he wasn't doing anything else, he could help with MORE dogs, and we volunteered with a local rescue as a foster family. I do love dogs!

I am now done with residency, in the middle of the divorce, and my dogs have been a huge rock for me. They make me exercise. They love me unconditionally. They don't smell, or drink beer excessively, or waste money. (Not that I'm ranting about a certain ex-life-partner, or anything) 😉

One of the OB residents who started when I did had a dog, but lived fairly close to campus. The other OB residents sort of adopted the dog, and took turns walking him when she was on call. That might be an option. A roommate might be as well.

I think with dogwalkers and the right dog, it would be doable. It might be a lot of work, but since when do good things always come easy? If I were in your shoes, I'd probably contact several rescues and start thinking about a slightly-older (3ish) mixed breed. Or a retired racing Greyhound. Also, as a woman living alone, there's something to be said for having an alarm system with teeth. (My German Shepard is more bark than bite, but he's a hell of a lot of bark)

Just my dog-lovin 2 cents.

 

[dpmd]

Or a retired racing Greyhound.

Wouldn't this kind of dog want to run around a lot?

 

[Apollyon]

Wouldn't this kind of dog want to run around a lot?

A friend of mine had two (Mecca and Medina - and, no, she's not Muslim - she's just like that), who lived full lives and died, then got two more. She lived north of SF in an apartment, and had enough space to let them do their thing as dogs.

Now, she lives on a farm between SF and Sacramento, so there's enough room for the whole flock of animals.

 

[njac]

I've heard greyhounds referred to as "the world's fastest couch potatoes"

all of the ones that I've met are *done* with running. they just like to hang out, maybe go for a walk, but overall very mellow dogs.

 

[Aloha Kid]

Had a friend who named his dog Rosen and his cat Tintinalli. You can imagine the responses he always gave when asked what he did during his break.

 

[CraftyMed]

As you can tell from my pic, I've got a dog. I got my first dog (in the pic) during my first year of med school, when she was just shy of a year old. I got my second dog during my second year of residency. She was just shy of two years old. They are both lab x greyhound mixes. I have not come home one day and not been greeted with tail wags and that unconditional love dogs are famous for giving. I have fantastic upstairs neighbors (who are also my landlords) who "steal" my dogs to take them out on runs, to the park, or even to a weekend at their beach cottage. I have been very fortunate to have great friends otherwise that have always been willing to "borrow a dog" for a day or two when I've been on call. I've always grown up with dogs and can't imagine not having one (or more) around. In the past, I've also had a dog walker, and the luck of living between a dog park and a dog bakery. In the case of the latter, there were always people sneaking a treat thru my mail slot to feed my pup!!

All that being said, both my dogs were rescues. They were not puppies, but were already housetrained and had gone thru basic obedience. Rescues come with their own share of issues, but not having to get up multiple times during your post-call nap was definitely a benefit. Consider a young dog so that you can still teach it your habits and lifestyle, but avoid the puppy phase.

Hope my story helps your decision. But do NOT get a dog if you're not going to be able to properly take care of it. It's not fair to the dog, and he/she will probably reciprocate with some bad behaviors as a result.