Medical Is misconduct holding me back?

[Goro]

Background: Junior w/ 3.9x GPA 514 MCAT. Researched organic chemistry synthesis for 30+hrs a week for several weeks. Volunteered at hospital for 3 years (with a break due to COVID) and recently began facilitating virtual classes for the elderly. Working as a PCA in a private adult foster home. Leader within a cancer outreach campus org. Worked as an RA, then hired as a lead RA.

Story: I was hired as a lead RA for a hall. On some nights, our RAs thought it was funny to prank call other hall RA phones. "Is your fridge running" and the like. On two nights, I chose a clip from YouTube that included sexually crude content. Nothing you wouldn't see in a late night comedy, hear in music, or play in 'Cards Against Humanity'. I don't say this as an excuse, but rather an explanation for why it was used. It did not contain any misogynistic, demeaning, or otherwise directly offensive content, but was certainly crude and I should have known better than to use it. While there was no ill intent, I recognize that intent does not equal impact. It got reported to the Title IX office, and I immediately came forward when I heard that it was being discussed. I have been straightforward and taken complete ownership, as I believe that is the only way in which mistakes should be addressed. I have certainly grown in understanding of myself and what it means to be a leader when you fall. All members of the Title IX and ResLife offices acknowledge my ownership and my discussions on moving forward in a positive manner with my peers. I was terminated from my position, but my boss and I still hold an outstanding relationship - she intends on writing a LoR. I have yet to receive an IA, but will likely receive sexual harassment misconduct.

I fear that the connotation of sexual harassment will overshadow the rest of my application. I believe that this doesn't represent my ability to handle gender-based sensitive situations. One of my patients has a history of sexual abuse, and I must take extreme care when bathing, toileting, and changing clothes. Additionally, a professor from a Gender, Women, and Sexuality studies course is writing another LoR based on my performance in his class. That kind of sensitivity and empathy is what I wish to highlight, not this temporary lack of judgement.

Will this mistake hold me back?

It's not good.

Best to put as much time as possible between the incident and your app, and engage in positions of responsibility.

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[TheBoneDoctah]

Were your comments directed at someone specifically or was it to a group of other RAs? You got reported by the other RAs?

Regardless of what happened, fact of the matter is you got busted. Best thing to do is put as much time between the incident and your application as possible and to also show you have learned and grown from the incident. If you do not feel you have done this, it would be ok to take a gap year. Medical schools aren’t going anywhere.

 

[GoSpursGo]

The audio was used in calling several hall phones. Nothing was directed at anyone specifically, we just tried to share a laugh using something we thought was funny. Unfortunately, that ‘something’ was completely inappropriate in the given circumstance. RAs who received the calls reported it, not those with me. I let everyone involved on my end know, and came forward to my boss less than 30 minutes after hearing from another hall RA that it was being discussed by higher offices. The others and I were completely surprised to have heard that it went as high as it did, but have accepted whatever consequences ensue.

I hope that adcoms will see that I took mature action following the immature situation. I don’t know if it’s weird to say, but I have appreciated the pressure it has placed on me. I would love to discuss the process of introspection that has resulted. I just hope I am given a chance to do so.

Do those reading apps just simply throw out applications if they see something they don’t like, or do they give the rest of the application a chance to prove worth?

It depends on what the something is.

In this case, “sexual harassment” is going to be a really tough charge for you to shake without some time between the offense and your app.

 

[GoSpursGo]

And rightly so. Such a charge should not be taken lightly.

Under the definition of sexual harassment, there are a wide range of things that may qualify. This did not include any unwanted requests for sexual favors or physical contact. However, it certainly did contain sexual content and was uninvited. Perhaps this will be considered differently when the situation is explained? I would rather be questioned on terms of judgement rather than morality.

I hope it doesn’t appear as though I’m trying to justify things or divert ownership. I’m only trying to explain further without disclosing everything.

I appreciate the input so far, and value honesty over comfort.

Honestly, I'm just not sure there's a ton of daylight between exhibiting questionable judgment and questionable morality from the perspective of potential schools. Bottom line, either of those make you a liability, particularly when the charge is sexual harassment--in this case, your intent literally does not matter because the problem is how the action is received, so it doesn't really matter whether you did the action because you're a bad person vs. because you were thoughtless.

As someone who was once a 20 year old male and could imagine doing something stupid without fully considering the consequences of my actions, I am not without empathy towards you. I'm not saying you're a bad person. But at the end of the day I think the fact that this is happening in your junior year less than 4 months before apps open is going to make you radioactive for this cycle. While I think you're saying all the right things you really need time and ideally demonstrable actions that you're trying to atone for this, and ultimately prove that this was an isolated lapse in judgment rather than reflective of an underlying flaw that will become a pattern.

It's tough to advise you because your stats are pretty good and you just need one school to decide you're worth the risk, so it would not be ENTIRELY crazy to apply broadly this year and hope for the best. The LOR from your boss explaining exactly what happened and saying that you are an upstanding and moral citizen will be absolutely critical. But the safe course of action would be to take a gap year. Even if you decide to apply, you need to find a solid backup because you are probably likely to be reapplying.

 

[TheBoneDoctah]

I greatly appreciate your input. I will be applying next year. I have initiated the process of training to become a RAINN (Rape, Abuse, & Incest Nation Network) sexual assault hotline volunteer because the Title IX process has opened my eyes to a side of the world that I have never experienced. As a man, I have a privilege in how the world treats me, and fear not about the same things that many women do. Becoming a volunteer through this organization is the right thing to do, but I don’t want it to appear as though I’m simply putting a bandaid on myself because that isn’t the case. How would you suggest demonstrating genuine atonement?

I think just taking the gap is a good idea. Your chances will be stronger with the volunteer work and extra time.

 

[GoSpursGo]

Agree with above. There’s no substitute for time and action to show atonement

 

[Goro]

Stop trying to lawyer this. It only hurts your case. Just own this, and point out what you have done to make amends.

Here are the problems you face from the admissions committee members:

1., is this the type of person we want to have in our class?

2. Why accept this person, when we have so many candidates who didn't do stuff like this?

 

[GoSpursGo]

Understood and noted. I would say that any institution that doesn’t ask themselves those questions certainly wouldn’t be an institution worth studying at or working for.

If given the opportunity to interview, it’s fair to assume that similar questions would be asked. In response, would it be fair to state how I established ownership and took action following, then elaborate upon how that demonstrates the crucial ability to recover after mistakes? In what we call the human experience, we are bound to fall, fail, and disappoint - I think moving in a positive direction after the fact is one of the most important life skills. However, I don’t want to undercut the seriousness of situation by stating a cliche “everyone makes mistakes”, but rather stress how positively recovering from such height of a mistake demonstrates responsibility and tenacity of character. Is that too positive of a spin, and better to just clearly state how I recognize the severity of the issue?

Once again, I can’t overstate how much I value this input. It has helped tremendously with grounding my emotions. Additionally, I should mention that I recognize that as strangers, you may have sensitive ties to this topic that I am unaware of, so I appreciate the level of respect given.

Just take ownership and keep your response short and sweet: you made a terrible mistake, and once you realized it you took full responsibility, did what you could to make amends, and have learned from it. Don't try to turn it into a positive.

 

[Mr.Smile12]

Going by the original post, it is still not clear exactly what your role was. It's clear that as a leader of this group, you have responsibility to stop it and report it. I also expect that as part of your RA training would be harassment training, including commitments and oaths to uphold community principles. You should have known better and were entrusted to ensure the safety of the students you oversaw as a lead RA... and broke that trust by being complicit or tolerant. Did you hurt people? No doubt, and probably the extent goes beyond what you already know.

Would it look bad? Absolutely. Would your mea culpas and remediation for the critical lapse in judgement and leadership help you? Maybe over time. There are many salvation stories among those who have taken journeys to medicine and health care, but they have shown a true turnaround from their past mistakes and decisions. I can't say the door is closed completely, but you're going to need a lot of help and championing from others to open it wider.