Is residency compatible with raising a family? If so,which ones?

[goodlookinrebel]

Hello all nontrads. By the time I finish med school I will be in my mid 30s and raising a young family, and I am not prepared to sacrifice them for my career. If that is what it takes then I will just stick with what I am doing now. I am most interested in neurology/behavioral neuropsychiatry, that sort of thing. Would a neuro residency leave me time for my family? I understand that psychiatry is supposed to be very cushy, but I love the hard science of neurology.

Anyone else face or facing this dillema?

---

Members don't see this ad.

 

[Chodan]

I am currently 31, married with one child and another due August 2nd, and feel the exact same way as you. I have been shadowing a neurologist for the last several weeks and he said that his residency was not bad at all. A lot depends on where you do your residency, of course, but he said he was on call only one night per week. Hope that helps!

 

[ChandutheMagici]

Hello all nontrads. By the time I finish med school I will be in my mid 30s and raising a young family, and I am not prepared to sacrifice them for my career. If that is what it takes then I will just stick with what I am doing now. I am most interested in neurology/behavioral neuropsychiatry, that sort of thing. Would a neuro residency leave me time for my family? I understand that psychiatry is supposed to be very cushy, but I love the hard science of neurology.

Anyone else face or facing this dillema?

I often considered family time when making the decision. Some residencies are definitely more cushy than others. It just depends on how competitive you are and what you wanna do. As for neuro and psych, you might want to take a look at the combined residencies they have. Either way, I think both these residencies lie somewhere between nice hours and moderately crappy hours, dependent upon location. So, if you don't wanna pick up your family and move....well, that could be tough on them (If the psych or neuro residency near you sucks).

Anyway, you have to get into school first. Then, you have to go through third year (which from my understanding is by no means cushy). Once all that is done, you can say which field is right for you. It might still be psych or neuro, but there's a chance that it won't be. What if the only thing you could see yourself doing after third year is surgery? Eeek!

No matter what you do, you WILL have to sacrifice time to school and internship. Internship sucks, there's no way around it. You will hate it, your family will hate it, and there's a good chance they'll hate you for being so miserable.

You just have to ask yourself if 7-10 years of sacrificing your time is worth it. For me, it is. I can't really see myself doing anything other than being a physician at this point in my life. So, I'd rather sacrifice my time and be happy in the long run than do some BS job and be miserable in the long run. If you're unhappy with your choice of career (where you spend the bulk of your life) it can take a toll on your family. I know, my dad was a miserable bastard who was hardly ever around.

 

[flip26]

I am currently 31, married with one child and another due August 2nd, and feel the exact same way as you. I have been shadowing a neurologist for the last several weeks and he said that his residency was not bad at all. A lot depends on where you do your residency, of course, but he said he was on call only one night per week. Hope that helps!

I live next door to a married couple - a neurology res and an ortho res - and the neurology res is away from home more than the ortho res...by a lot.

You are right - it probably depends on the program - but it blows my mind how much they are away from da house.

 

[quiz]

Don't know about residency, but I live next to a pediatrician and an ob. They have an 8 month old, 2 year old, and 6 year old. They seem to be doing fine and are home enough for me to see them every now and then. They only recently got a nanny to help out 4 days a week. Although I also see the grandparents often too so I'm sure they have support.

 

[punkiedad]

2 kids and starting school in July.

I would imagine each residency has its issues. Don't forget to look beyond residency as well.

Also, I have found it is not necessarily the amoutn of time, but the quality of the time spent. There is a lot of people sitting at home all day with their kids, yet they have Jerry springer on and aren't really that into their kids.....Quality is the key, though it is tough to be away sometimes...then again, it is probably tougher on me than them.

 

[bjolly]

I'm actually a little older than my 30s with a family, and am going into neurology. I'm doing my intern year now. My schedule next year will be q5 overnight call which I think is pretty typical for neuro. This year it's around
q5 as well - I picked a prelim program that was not cushy, but reasonable and humane. This year has been tough but not terrible, and I expect next year to be about the same. After next year the schedule is supposed to get much better. This year hasn't been cushy by any stretch of the imagination, but it's been very doable. Neuro is also a good field for controllable hours after residency, which is something to keep in mind.

I was not willing to consider any fields that would have a super-intense schedule, because I felt it would make me and my family miserable. I was lucky that neuro is what I really wanted to do, and is a field where you can have a balanced life. So I say if neuro is what you like, go for it, it's definitely compatible with having a family life.

 

[goodlookinrebel]

Well thank you everyone for the responses! I appreciate it.

Of course no residency is going to be cushy as compared to say, being a fine arts professor, but I mean, from what I hear neuro and psych are comparatively cushy. And I know that, if you take your vocation seriously, it will require sacrifice. It just shouldnt require the sacrifice of everything.

I should say that what I mean by cushy is having a few nights a week for family and at least a part of one of the weekend days. Is that hoping for too much or too little? I dont know if a neuro residency would offer more or less than that...?

 

[nontrdgsbuiucmd]

I share your concern regarding having some time for the family, as well as for medical training. Read a book recently by an MD going through an IM residency, that sounded pretty tough hours-wise, I think the program was in Portland, OR.

Another SDN poster had suggested, when interviewing for residency, to ask about residents who are pregnant or who have young children, with the thought being to see if the program is familiar with the family and physical demands of being pregnant and being a resident. Hopefully this would encourage some semblance of normalcy during residency? That IM residency scares me a bit, particularly considering it's required for GI, Cards, Hem/Onc.. the areas that I'm tentatively interested in.

Although one can do anything for a handful of years..I think by the point of residency, especially after completing a PGY year, a few more tough years may seem doable in the pursuit of the ultimate (career) goal of being board-certified in that specialty.

 

[TacoStand]

You are asking a very valid and important question. How much are you willing to sacrifice to do what you want to do. I am in my mid-30's with a 3 year old and one on the way nearing the end of my 3rd year. The fact is that you will sacrifice time. 3rd year is brutal at times and you will be gone from the ones you love. The 1st two years are not bad, but there are certaintly times that force you to be apart from your family. From my perspective, residency will be difficult (not your 40-50hrs/wk job), but your choice of neuro/psych will be a lot easier than say surgery. If you can survive 4-years of med school and still find meaningful time with your family, then chances are you will also survive residency. Just be cognizant of your specialty choice and be aware that you will deal with changes constantly. You will probably have to uproot your family and move, but then again, maybe not. So many unpredictable things on this journey....

I do agree with one of the above posts that quality not quantity is the important factor. I know that my perspective has changed in the past 3 years. You find that you can do and survive periods that were unimaginable before med school. In my class there are those that have had babies in med school, two classmates have 3 kids (one with 3 under the age of 2), and many other students like me who have 1-2 kids and are doing great. Guess what my hobbies are: studying medicine and being with my family.

 

[melanoleuca]

...Hello all nontrads. By the time I finish med school I will be in my mid 30s and raising a young family, and I am not prepared to sacrifice them for my career....

Then don't go to medical school. If your current family is really that important you will think long and hard about sacrificing them like you are about to do for nothing but your ego, boredom, or whatever else could induce any sane person to throw themselves into the meat grinder.

 

[melanoleuca]

...If you can survive 4-years of med school and still find meaningful time with your family, then chances are you will also survive residency.

No. Residency is nothing like medical school.