Nontrad, new mom, need advice what path I should pursue/if becoming a doc was worth it to you

[ilovewintertime]

Hey everyone, I am in need of some advice and harsh truth/reality.

Background: I am a 30 year old female, newborn son (would be two when I start med school). Helicopter pilot in the Navy currently but getting out soon. I do not want to fly anymore so no matter what I will be making a career change. Husband is also a pilot and is going to pursue a pilot job in the civilian sector (unknown where it will be, whether he can live where I go to med school).

So here is my dilemma: No matter what I want to work in healthcare. I am debating between pediatric nursing and pursuing MD with the hopes of going into EM. I could go the med school route which has been my desire since I was young but that would be four years no pay, a minimum of 3 years kinda crappy pay, and a whole lot of schooling/time away from the fam. I could go nursing and do a one year accelerated program and start making money right away. (I only care about the money aspect solely because we are raising a child and I don't want to make him suffer too much because we are only on one income).

I only want to pursue pediatrics or ER; whether nurse or doc.

Here are my questions:
1. If you are a nontrad, was becoming a doc worth it or do you think you would have been fulfilled/happy with a different career in medicine?
2. If you went through med school with a family, how much did you actually miss out on?
3. Do you wish you had taken a job that would still have you working with patients but also give you more flexibility to be there for your own family?
4. If you have any advice or insight please hit me with it!

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[Just Call Me Doc]

My general recommendation that I give to my military friends looking to go into medicine (I was a former corpsman) is that if you want to take care of patients with a reasonable work life balance and you don't HAVE to be at the top of the food chain, go PA. You'll be under an MD but will generally be the first line provider for your patients. You'd only have about 2 1/2 years of school and training and then can start working. The biggest challenge, though, would be getting the patient hours for application. I've steered several of my medic colleagues to PA schools and have looked a little jealously as they have already started working long ago and actually get to see their family while I struggle in surgery residency to see my family much. That being said, I require the autonomy for what I want to do, so am reasonable happy with my choice (at least most of the time). It's just a very tough price to pay for it.

It is difficult trying to "balance" family life, especially during residency. Some weeks I see my kid for 30-45 minutes a day before bedtime. Other weeks may be a little better. In the end it depends on what your overall goal is in medicine and life to figure which path you think is the best fit for you. From what you've told us, I think it would be worth looking into PA which would also allow you to work in an ED. A few other tidbits: make sure you document any injuries (physical or mental) prior to separating and apply for disability. VR&E along with GI bill helps cushion the financial burden. Either path you choose, make sure you check out the Pat Tillman Foundation Scholarship for your schooling. And if you are interested in PA, then check out Yale's online PA program.

Good luck.

 

[BillBill1219]

1. If you are a nontrad, was becoming a doc worth it or do you think you would have been fulfilled/happy with a different career in medicine?
-Very hard for me to give a reasoned, balanced opinion on whether it is "worth it." I could easily rage and say "no, absolutely not, I should have been a mailman." That question won't truly be answered until I am at least a few years in practice. But I will say it is a very difficult process and when days go by that I don't see my wife and kids, I wonder what could be worth this sacrifice?

2. If you went through med school with a family, how much did you actually miss out on?
-My son was very young. I am a dad. The bond between mother and child is different. Given that you are raising these concerns before even starting the process, I can virtually guarantee that you will not see your little one nearly as much as you'd like while you are pursuing an MD. My female co-residents with kids say that have a lot of "mom guilt" because their baby wants mommy whether she is in med school/residency or not.

3. Do you wish you had taken a job that would still have you working with patients but also give you more flexibility to be there for your own family?
-Maybe. Residency is indentured servitude. Attending life, depending on how much you choose to work, may or may not be much better.

4. If you have any advice or insight please hit me with it!
If you don't HAVE to become a doctor, then I would not pursue MD path. Unless there is going to be a burning hole in your soul if you don't get the MD, I would find something else. I was nontrad and started a family as a 3rd year med student. My second was born one week before intern year. I am currently PGY-2, wife stays home with the kids which is a blessing. Is your med school application ready or do you have to take premed courses/MCAT? How much is this going to cost you and your family financially (in opportunity cost and in student loans etc.) While going to med school can be and often is done by older people and parents, the process is much easier when you are single and younger. I am grateful mine are still young and will have scant memory of this scourging. You can make a comfortable living as an NP/PA. Especially with a dual household income.