Is this okay to write in a personal statement...?

[immike1234]

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I'm currently in the brainstorming process for my personal statement. An experience that I want to talk about is my time working at my local dentist's office. I wanted to use this example to explain the notion that experiences provide a more realistic vision of a dentist's job at a private practice. As I observed my dentist, I noticed that she had the qualities of not only a boss but also a leader. Yet, there are leadership skills I learned from things she did well, and things she could have improved on.

Is it okay to critique my dentist in my personal statement? I don't want to come across as overly critical and conceited. However, it seems wrong to set my dentist on a pedestal and say that I want to be exactly like her when I come out of dental school.

 

[doc toothache]

While you are at it, make it clear that you are offering the same services to dental school faculty.

 

[dieanotherday]

I'm currently in the brainstorming process for my personal statement. An experience that I want to talk about is my time working at my local dentist's office. I wanted to use this example to explain the notion that experiences provide a more realistic vision of a dentist's job at a private practice. As I observed my dentist, I noticed that she had the qualities of not only a boss but also a leader. Yet, there are leadership skills I learned from things she did well, and things she could have improved on.

Is it okay to critique my dentist in my personal statement? I don't want to come across as overly critical and conceited. However, it seems wrong to set my dentist on a pedestal and say that I want to be exactly like her when I come out of dental school.

I wouldn't. Why can't you just write about what you learned there (business, leadership, clinic aspects)? Even if you don't plan to be exactly like so and so DDS, you can just say that the things you learned there were helpful in your decision to become one and the time you spent there (if significant amounts of time) gave you enough experience to understand what it is like in that kind of a setting (general practice or specializing).

How would criticizing someone else in YOUR personal statement make you look good? Especially the dds that let you shadow him/her

 

[immike1234]

I wouldn't. Why can't you just write about what you learned there (business, leadership, clinic aspects)? Even if you don't plan to be exactly like so and so DDS, you can just say that the things you learned there were helpful in your decision to become one and the time you spent there (if significant amounts of time) gave you enough experience to understand what it is like in that kind of a setting (general practice or specializing).

How would criticizing someone else in YOUR personal statement make you look good? Especially the dds that let you shadow him/her

Sorry, critiquing was too strong of a word. I learned a great deal from my dentist, but I wanted to emphasis that I learned from aspects that I admired, while noting staff's reactions to implementation of systems that weren't as well received. I didn't just mindlessly clock in every day, do the minimum duties needed, and leave without observing what was actually happening in the office.

Edit: Wow. I read my post again and the entire second paragraph sounds obscenely conceited. That was definitely not what I wanted to convey. Thanks dieanotherday for your input, and I am planning on focusing specifically on how I learned from her and why shadowing her helped me decide why I wanted to become a dentist.

 

[immike1234]

While you are at it, make it clear that you are offering the same services to dental school faculty.

Noted. I am planning on writing personal letters to each faculty member to make that service clear to them, how does that sound?

 

[blcopp]

I didn't just mindlessly clock in every day, do the minimum duties needed, and leave without observing what was actually happening in the office.

I understand what you are trying to say by really trying to get the point across to the dental school that you just didn't shadow. However, I still wouldn't say that. How about instead you talk about when you shadowed your dentist you observed the different techniques and various ways of communication that they used with every patient (for example the difference between talking to/working on a young kid compared to an elderly person). That is just an example.

You can easily prove that you didn't just mindlessly shadow by going in depth with the positives and using a couple examples.

 

[immike1234]

I understand what you are trying to say by really trying to get the point across to the dental school that you just didn't shadow. However, I still wouldn't say that. How about instead you talk about when you shadowed your dentist you observed the different techniques and various ways of communication that they used with every patient (for example the difference between talking to/working on a young kid compared to an elderly person). That is just an example.

You can easily prove that you didn't just mindlessly shadow by going in depth with the positives and using a couple examples.

Yeah... I wanted to demonstrate that I did above the minimum, but evaluating my dentist is not the way to go now that I've read the comments on this thread and thought about it. I liked your example with the kid / elderly person. I actually shadowed a pediatric dentist, but she did approach kids with special needs in a particular way in order to get them to cooperate.

Thanks for the suggestions 🙂

 

[J777]

Mike, also keep in mind that nearly every applicant has had shadowing experience and has observed dentists doing their work.. The PS is an opportunity for you to lay out who you are, what makes you unique, and why you would make a great healthcare provider. If you are going to write about this experience, make sure that it is used as a means of telling YOUR story. Good luck

 

[immike1234]

Mike, also keep in mind that nearly every applicant has had shadowing experience and has observed dentists doing their work.. The PS is an opportunity for you to lay out who you are, what makes you unique, and why you would make a great healthcare provider. If you are going to write about this experience, make sure that it is used as a means of telling YOUR story. Good luck

Awesome, I've just started brainstorming for my PS and had not really thought about my own strengths as a candidate. Thanks you for the insight!

 

[dieanotherday]

I would say almost every dental applicant that got into D school did more than the minimum. If you were cognizant and aware of your surroundings, how could you "absentmindedly shadow"?
The problem is that you are assuming other applicants and predents only do the "bare minimum", do you have a criteria in your mind of what "bare minimum" means? Every dental office is different, and certain dentists require more out of shadowing such as dental assisting, chair assisting, sterilization, learning about insurances, and how you educate the patient about their procedure. I'm sure at some level, every predent is exposed to more than just standing/hovering and watching a dentist do their work.

 

[doc toothache]

Noted. I am planning on writing personal letters to each faculty member to make that service clear to them, how does that sound?

You are a fast learner. In one month (+/-) you went from having a limited knowledge of dentistry to qualifying as a dental consultant. Did she perchance write you an LOR?

 

[immike1234]

I would say almost every dental applicant that got into D school did more than the minimum. If you were cognizant and aware of your surroundings, how could you "absentmindedly shadow"?
The problem is that you are assuming other applicants and predents only do the "bare minimum", do you have a criteria in your mind of what "bare minimum" means? Every dental office is different, and certain dentists require more out of shadowing such as dental assisting, chair assisting, sterilization, learning about insurances, and how you educate the patient about their procedure. I'm sure at some level, every predent is exposed to more than just standing/hovering and watching a dentist do their work.

In my mind, the minimum that can be done shadowing is to observe what procedures your dentist does and then call it a day.

But I think that's really besides the point... I never said that I "absentmindedly shadowed." I started off by shadowing my dentist, but ended up volunteering for her (that summer) and then returned the next summer after she offered me a job as an assistant. Because I often put in much more time than she expected, I said that I did more than the bare minimum.

Also, I never accused any member here of doing minimal amounts of work when they shadowed or volunteered for their dentist. It is more than certain that there are many members here that have spent much more time and effort in shadowing and volunteering.

 

[immike1234]

You are a fast learner. In one month (+/-) you went from having a limited knowledge of dentistry to qualifying as a dental consultant. Did she perchance write you an LOR?

It was actually over the course of 6 months. I shadowed/volunteered my freshman summer and returned the following summer to work for her. I'm applying for dental school this summer, so I have not yet asked her for a LOR but she has stated several times that she would be more than willing to write me a good LOR.

 

[dieanotherday]

I didn't just mindlessly clock in every day, do the minimum duties needed, and leave without observing what was actually happening in the office.

^this. You wrote this, which to me I thought was kind of rude since this implies you think that shadowing for others could be "mindlessly clocking in everyday and doing the minimum duties needed without observing" and that your own experience is better than others "minimum"

Talking yourself up is fine but do not ever imply that you did better than others in your PS or interview or anywhere else. Putting others experiences down does not make you look good.

 

[immike1234]

^this. You wrote this, which to me I thought was kind of rude since this implies you think that shadowing for others could be "mindlessly clocking in everyday and doing the minimum duties needed without observing" and that your own experience is better than others "minimum"

Talking yourself up is fine but do not ever imply that you did better than others in your PS or interview or anywhere else. Putting others experiences down does not make you look good.

To clarify: I didn't just mindlessly clock in every day, do the minimum duties needed (...) as I COULD have done or other workers in the practice might have ASSUMED i would have done.


EDIT: Closing thread as the original question has been answered!

 

[doc toothache]

It was actually over the course of 6 months. I shadowed/volunteered my freshman summer and returned the following summer to work for her. I'm applying for dental school this summer, so I have not yet asked her for a LOR but she has stated several times that she would be more than willing to write me a good LOR.

After you get your LOR, be sure to send her your evaluation of her practice.

 

[immike1234]

After you get your LOR, be sure to send her your evaluation of her practice.

You're quite relentless.

 

[immike1234]

Doc toothache, I'll commit Suppuku if you leave my thread close. Please no more witty remarks, save them for tomorrow's posters.

 

[doc toothache]

Saved from the tanto.

 

[NMC2010]

I don't think there's anything wrong with including your shadowing experience in your PS, but bear in mind that all competitive candidates have shadowed. I actually used my shadowing experience in my own PS, but it was just a brief blurb about how it helped me realize I wanted to be a dentist and what I learned from it (about dentistry and myself). Your PS, as others said, is basically to show what makes you unique and worth a school's investment in you.

 

[Minion]

Doc toothache, I'll commit Suppuku if you leave my thread close. Please no more witty remarks, save them for tomorrow's posters.

So you think you're better than us, "people" huh?

 

[tandem7]

Try not to put anything that could even remotely be interpreted as negative. Definitely talk about your shadowing experiences and the dentist's leadership experience, but don't critique anything negative. Some might interpret it as being arrogant or ungracious. Also, remember the P.S. is about you and why you want to be a dentist!