It has come down to this...

[JayQuah]

So after interviews, rejections and one acceptance, JayQuah is met with a choice.
Go to Boston, his dream city, a place that he loves and a place that his girlfriend is willing to go, for an MD-only program,
OR
Go to Colorado, take the MSTP acceptance, live close to home but leave his girlfriend to her own devices.
Gotta search my heart of hearts, I guess....but what would YOU do?

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[MGD]

How would you feel about applying MD/PhD during your first or second year in Boston?

 

[Mr. Tee]

Which school in Boston?

 

[physicsnerd42]

So after interviews, rejections and one acceptance, JayQuah is met with a choice.
Go to Boston, his dream city, a place that he loves and a place that his girlfriend is willing to go, for an MD-only program,
OR
Go to Colorado, take the MSTP acceptance, live close to home but leave his girlfriend to her own devices.
Gotta search my heart of hearts, I guess....but what would YOU do?

What does the girlfriend have against Colorado. And how long have you been going out?

 

[Gfunk6]

I assume we are talking about BU based on your MDApplicants profile?

Of course, this is an intensely personal decision and I can't comment about your potential future with your girlfriend. But you should ask yourself if you really want to be a physican-scientist or not. If the answer is an emphatic yes, then go to Colorado.

If you gradaute from BU you will be in crushing debt and their MD/PhD program has very weak funding even if you were accepted after your 1st or 2nd year.

Added:
Just saw you app was pending at Tufts as well. Here, I believe the MSTP is fully-funded. But you will still have a mountain of debt from even 1-2 years of medical school.

 

[solitude]

Dang man that really sucks. Knowing that your application is strong enough to gain acceptance to at least one MSTP, I'm sure you have a great chance of getting in after your first year at the Boston school. At the same time, it's obviously hard to pass up a guarenteed MSTP spot. I think it really boils down to two factors:

1. How sure are you that she is the one? Could you be happy without her?
2. How important is the debt of the first one or two years of med school?

It's my personal opinion that your personal happiness should trump the monetary issues of having to fund the first year or two of med school. Of course, this assumes that you would get into the MSTP as an MS1. There is an outside chance that your dream of becoming a physician-scientist would be jeopardized by going to Boston, though, and deciding between that dream and your girlfriend is probably much more difficult than deciding between your girlfriend and 100K.

Since you asked...
If it were me, and I literally couldn't live happily without her, I would follow her to Boston and apply MSTP as an MS1, even if I was unsure about my chances of acceptance.

 

[CaipirinhaQuinho]

take the mstp and pimp slap your gf until she agrees to move out there.

colorado has great skiing and Denver is one of the most liberal places to be if you're interested in that sort of thing...i.e. (http://www.saferchoice.org/)

in all seriousness I think the mstp is a better choice. good luck with your choice.

 

[Bluntman]

JayQuah, my man, this is a tough situation you're in. Like the other guys have mentioned, it strongly depends on:

1. Your relationship with your girlfriend: Is it serious? Do you see yourself marrying her? The most pressing thing I think, though, is: can you get her to come to Colorado? It really is a sick place - maybe she hasn't had a chance to see what it has to offer (not sure if she lives in CO or not). Also, it seems to me that her sacrifice to live in Colorado while you do your training is much less than your sacrifice would be if you had to gave up the MD/PhD - which is a real possibility if you have to do your training in Boston...so...if you both really are into each other and see what you have together as really being something long term, then the natural choice to make as a couple would be to go with the option that is less of a sacrifice...i.e. her going to CO with you for the MSTP.

2. Your desire to go through with the MD/PhD: Would you be happy doing just an MD? There is a chance, although small, that you would not get picked up in second cycle admissions...would you be ok if it came to this? As a note: I, personally, would not consider BU as a viable MD/PhD option since (as others have noted) the price is prohibitively huge. Tufts would be a better option, in my opinion.

Anyway man, I wish you the best of luck in figuring this ish out. I see it as two options...either 1) You view the MD/PhD as the priority...in which case you'd go to Colorado without hesitation and deal with the girl troubles second or 2) You and your gf both view your relationship as your highest priority...in which case you'd still go to Colorado since (in my opinion) her giving up her location preferences is a smaller sacrifice than you giving up your dream career.

Hope everything works out.

 

[hardy]

Gotta search my heart of hearts, I guess....but what would YOU do?

Boston.... I love the city as well, it almost has an academic aura around it. And if you are at all serious about your girlfriend (which I am) then you cannot just discount her opinion.

 

[Thundrstorm]

Wow, Jayquah, I feel so bad you have to make this decision. I'm going to think about it and write my opinion later, but I just wanted to say that I sympathize.

 

[Reimat]

So after interviews, rejections and one acceptance, JayQuah is met with a choice.
Go to Boston, his dream city, a place that he loves and a place that his girlfriend is willing to go, for an MD-only program,
OR
Go to Colorado, take the MSTP acceptance, live close to home but leave his girlfriend to her own devices.
Gotta search my heart of hearts, I guess....but what would YOU do?

That is tough - talk about a decision I would fear having to make. What is your gf looking to do that her options would be limited in Colorado, or is it just that she doesn't want to go there?

 

[shortyganoush]

From reading and responding to your earlier posts, my question to you is regardless of your gf:

if you could interview and be accepted to Stanford for MD only would you take it over Colorado MSTP?

I'm struggling with the question myself on top of throwing UTSW into the mix, although my SO could be convinced to move to either place. If you would, then Tufts is basically the same thing weighing in that Boston your dream city. Good Luck!

 

[shortyganoush]

colorado has great skiing and Denver is one of the most liberal places to be if you're interested in that sort of thing...i.e. (http://www.saferchoice.org/)

Also, I loved my interview at Colorado, but I'm not sure if I'd lable Denver as one of the most liberal places to be regardless of that website. The state if anything seems sort of on the redder side of purple.

 

[Dr.Dr.]

Also, I loved my interview at Colorado, but I'm not sure if I'd lable Denver as one of the most liberal places to be regardless of that website. The state if anything seems sort of on the redder side of purple.

I grew up in Colorado and as a state, it's pretty much red. However, Denver has the demographics of any large city and is much more liberal than the rural areas. Also, if that is really an issue for you, you can do your research at CU-Boulder. And "the People's Republic of Boulder" is WAY liberal. There are more natural food supermarkets then traditional one's!

 

[JayQuah]

Thanks for all your replies. To address some of the questions that have come up so far:
1. The boston schools are either Tufts OR BU. I haven't gotten in to either of those, and if I don't, it will make this decision a whole lot easier.
2. My gf and I are very serious. We're less sure that we want to get married, because of this situation and my consideration of it...but like everything, its complicated.
3. She's a product designer. Not a lot of job opportunity in CO at all, but there is in the bay area (i'd def stay at Stanford for MD only) and in Boston.
4. I think i'd definitely be able to do what I want to do with an MD only program, eventually. It would just be less ideal...and how sure am I that I want to give it a chance if a lot of signs are pointing to it not working out anyway?

I knew going into this post that a lot of the responses were going to be "damn, that's tough. Good luck JayQuah!". But that's ok. I have been feeling very alone for a long while, and it helps to hear from people who are making similar decisions and are driven by the same types of things that I am.
Specific shout outs to Bluntman, Thundr, and Civic. You guys have always been very helpful and inspirational.
I'll let you know how things play out in the next couple of weeks and months.
Jay

 

[CaipirinhaQuinho]

Thanks man. I wish you the best and I hope one day I could refer some patients to you. haha, the future is a scary thought. good luck dude, keep me posted.

-mg

 

[Thundrstorm]

Let us know what you decide. I was going to post some advice, but I can't even makeup my own mind and I only have myself to think about (no SO). And I know how paralyzed I feel by the enormity of this decision. So, I'll just tell you what everyone else has been telling me: Go with your gut. And if you do decide to go for an MD program in Boston, I'd set up an appointment with the MD/PhD director to discuss your situation and tell them your intent to apply into the joint program after M1, and even see if they could set you up with a summer lab rotation or let you go to MD/PhD journal club or whatever so that they get to know you and see your committment. As other have said, hopefully Tufts works out because they seem to have a better funded and organized program than BU and they're an NIH-supported MSTP.

As everyone keeps reminding me, this kind of decision, while tough, is a good problem to have. Either way, your options are all fantastic.

 

[1Path]

Right now there is only one choice to make becasue you have only one acceptance in hand (which BTW I'm QUITE suprised by ). Go to Colorado.

However, if you get into a Boston school BUT you're not sure you want to marry your girlfriend one day, I still think you should go to Colorado. Many, many people in the SAME position as you have made career decisions based on "girlfriend/boyfriend" relationships that never moved on to a more serious committment, and lived to regret it.

Good luck with whatever you decide!

 

[Bluntman]

Thanks Jay. Same to you man - It's amazing to see the level of support and camaraderie that develops when a bunch of random strangers are brought together under the same hard circumstances.

 

[JayQuah]

Just got into BU's MD only program. I'm so happy...but now, the decision that I dread is upon me.
Just wanted to keep you posted. Rawk awn.

 

[Thundrstorm]

Congrats! Let us know what you decide.

 

[shortyganoush]

Major Congrats! Let us know if Tufts works out too