I really don't know why so many on this board seem to think academia is some refuge. Can you enlighten me on what tenure job does not have an salary offset requirement nowadays? Publish or perish is so 1990s, it's now funding or perish. Teaching classes, coordinating your faculty teaching if you're the course director, keeping accredited, making time for your graduate students tending your laboratory (or doing your ghostwriting). If you're clinical track, you have a practice to maintain as well as interns to look after and you're not going to have a job for more than 2 years on average. If you're line tenure track, there's the stupid service committees you have to be on, the research laboratory meetings you have to chair, the endless professional begging you have to do to NIH, PhRMA, and at the conferences for just enough money to keep your labs ongoing, and hey, didn't you agree to give a talk somewhere that you haven't prepared for yet. Academia is the only career where it's common to say that I need to take time off to get more work done. Academia isn't the student-humping, pot-smoking, industry-money laundering Ole Miss plantation days anymore and probably never was that way for even most faculty (but if the lore is accurate, there's some real entertaining stories about what it was like to be in Ole Miss's pharmacognosy department back in the day). I like academia just fine, the environment is great and the spiritual rewards outstanding, but it's real work for real responsibility in order to get paid.
Some faculty just don't get the message though:
http://www.pharmacytimes.com/news/new-details-emerge-in-pharmacy-dean-sexual-assault-case
But the X'ers and the Millennial faculty do not have the same sort of package deal than in the old days. I like the deal better because the university does a better job of supporting my actual work, but even in the old days, it's not all honey and milk.
Oh, and most clinical faculty make 25-40% less than the common market rate that averages inpatient and outpatient.
To the Op, that rules out lots of jobs in Industry (as you probably know from work being brought home), technical fields such as Informatics (same thing), Regulatory (no training, no flexibility), Management (stress levels and also the nature of the business is different). Why do you think the accountants, lawyers (my wife), and finance make it well even though their education is comparable to ours? High stress, high risk, long hours, some people are pretty enough to not work (but that's a job all its own). You might as well say that I'm looking to walk on water and turn it into wine as well. And this is the modern pharmacy days, it's a hell of a lot less stressful, much higher paying, much safer, and better work conditions overall (hard to believe, but Walgreens and CVS used to suck real hard prior to 2000 and Rite Aid had a special reputation for being horrible prior to their first bankruptcy.)
However, if you're willing to relax on the pay start, why don't you go back to school and become an actuary in an insurance company or a mathematical statistician in civil service? I know quite a number (could have been one myself and married one who later became a lawyer) where it's a 9-5 in the office, has great flexibility, can work from home, has low stress, does not involve any personal risk of malpractice or killing people, has great job security. You just can't lose the company money avoidably and you can't be stupid.
(And just for you real old timers, there were some good old days. My parents conceived me at a pharmacy school Eli Lilly trip, anyone else have Eli Lilly tour stories for when they used to give tours to every pharmacy school? Could you imagine these student squares doing that now?)
