Just matched and pregnant Help!

[cillycilly]

Hi I just matched into an anesthesia advanced program that requires me to do a prelim year else where. Im doing a medicine prelim year and I just found out that I pregnant and would be due ending of December. This is my first pregnancy but I would like not to take any time off because I don't want it to affect me starting my advanced program in June of 2019. Is it possible to talk to the program to get my 4 week vacation during end of December beginning of January so that I can use this time to recover? Do I let my advanced program also know? would taking any more time than this effect my entry into my advanced year? has anyone been in a similar situation? what did they do? Thank you!

BTW my medicine year is call q 4 to 8PM sign out around 5 start around 6am for floors.

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[Mman]

Hi I just matched into an anesthesia advanced program that requires me to do a prelim year else where. Im doing a medicine prelim year and I just found out that I pregnant and would be due ending of December. This is my first pregnancy but I would like not to take any time off because I don't want it to affect me starting my advanced program in June of 2019. Is it possible to talk to the program to get my 4 week vacation during end of December beginning of January so that I can use this time to recover? Do I let my advanced program also know? would taking any more time than this effect my entry into my advanced year? has anyone been in a similar situation? what did they do? Thank you!

BTW my medicine year is call q 4 to 8PM sign out around 5 start around 6am for floors.

never been in that situation but you need to talk to both prelim and anesthesia programs. You will likely need to be out for more than 4 weeks. I mean for one thing you never know when you will deliver (might go early or later). Also don't know if you would potentially need a c-section which is 6 weeks before you can even pick up anything heavy and certainly not back at work before then. I'd plan on being out for at least 8 weeks and more likely 12. Prelim year will have to work around that and your anesthesia program will have to work around you starting later. It would be illegal for them to not accommodate you.

It ain't gonna be easy, but both programs can work with you to find a way to do it.

 

[Orin]

Congratulations! That is so exciting and scary. It happens a lot though, so don't sweat it, but realize you will have a lot of work to do both at home and with the medical job!

As a resident/hospital employee, you will get maternity leave. Folks have kids throughout residency. You will want to make sure you communicate your concerns and expected due date ASAP. You will want to realize that parasite will do whatever it wants, so things may change.

Marriage is about compromise while parenting is about sacrifice. So be ready to spend a few extra months as an intern/resident to make up for things, and losing out on breaks/vacations, but generally they can stack time off to help out. I know that sounds horrible, but in the long scheme of things, no one will care.

Be sure to be extra nice to your co-residents and the scheduling chiefs. We all know life happens and they will understand. You will want to make sure you've got backup from parents/in-laws/whoever.

 

[NICMAN]

You should have 15 days of sick time during 4 years of residency/intern training that can be used toward this in addition to the standard 15 days of vacation per year (translating to 3 weeks/year in most cases). This means you have 60 work days that can potentially contribute to maternity leave without risking extending your residency. The caveat is that you might have to complete the intern year as a separate unit (i.e., you might have to make up the rest of your intern year at the end of residency even though you have plenty of vacation time).

The main thing is that you shouldn't have to apologize or explain why you chose to get pregnant at this stage in your training. Tell them how much time you need off and they must accommodate that. It is illegal for programs to not accommodate you. Don't apologize for having responsibilities, duties, and obligations outside the merciless all-consuming career of medicine. Worst case scenario is that they have to hire a mid-level provider instead of paying the minimum-wage salary that they pay interns for the hours they work. Also, most good programs can accommodate these unexpected medical LOA without foisting burdensome workloads on other residents--if the program is humane and has only a modicum of sufficient business management.

 

[dannyboy1]

This is not a big deal all. You are having a baby and need time off. It’s as simple as that. You can take off all the time that you need, however that time will need to be made up. ( ie you will have to finish intern year in July/August and start your anesthesia residency following that). If you want to finish your anesthesia residency on June 30 then you will have to make up the months that you started late by eating into your vacation (btw it’s not a big deal to finish residency a few months late, people do it all the time and usually for this reason).

 

[Timeoutofmind]

Hi I just matched into an anesthesia advanced program that requires me to do a prelim year else where. Im doing a medicine prelim year and I just found out that I pregnant and would be due ending of December. This is my first pregnancy but I would like not to take any time off because I don't want it to affect me starting my advanced program in June of 2019. Is it possible to talk to the program to get my 4 week vacation during end of December beginning of January so that I can use this time to recover? Do I let my advanced program also know? would taking any more time than this effect my entry into my advanced year? has anyone been in a similar situation? what did they do? Thank you!

BTW my medicine year is call q 4 to 8PM sign out around 5 start around 6am for floors.

Congrats!!!!!!!!

Word of advice from a person who had a kid during training...

It all goes so fast and is so crazy and at times stressful enough as is without cramming stuff in and taking the shortest break possible...your hormones and sleep will be all over the place.

It takes downtime for your family to become a cohesive unit.

This is a marathon not a sprint.

A kid changes everything.

I would just take a reasonable maternity leave and extend your residency

 

[AdmiralChz]

Yeah agreed with all the above. You'll want to contact your prelim program immediately to get this on their radar - chances are they will probably switch you to an elective of some sort around your due date so if you go out suddenly it won't have a catastrophic effect (I highly doubt you internship will be 12 months of ward medicine as you describe, at least I hope it isn't).

How much time you take off will be up to you, of course, but you might not get more than 3 (or 4 with sick leave) weeks paid leave so keep this in mind since you won't be eligible for FMLA - my wife went through this earlier this year, you have to be employed at a place > 1 year to meet eligibility.

Try to come up with a plan of attack for how to deal with this with your program, I am sure this isn't the first time it's come up. You might need to delay the start of your anesthesia residency (as you must fully complete your internship first) but your prelim program will give you more guidance on this. Not a bad idea to give a heads up to your advanced program as well, but obviously it is too early to be making specific arrangements on their end.

 

[Mehd School]

I'm in kind of a similar situation, except that my baby is due 3 weeks before I'm supposed to start residency this summer. I learned about it halfway 25% through the interview season and didn't feel it to be wise to give programs a reason to avoid me. I matched a categorical position, and one where I spend 3 months of intern year with the Anesthesia team. The rest will be mix of wards/ICU/EM/surg.

So needless to say, I'm watching what people are saying here. I haven't contacted my program to let them know yet. I'm going to wait until we have the new chiefs elected and reach out to them first. I'm nervous to reach out and say "Excited to meet you! I need 3 weeks off", especially so early in the relationship with my program.

I couple's matched and we are 2 physicians living in a city without family, so we will be utilizing daycare. All the daycares near me won't accept infants until 6 weeks, so there's a 3-4 week time period I'm extra nervous about.

So good luck OP. On top of struggling with being a new doctor we get to struggle with learning to be new parents. I'm excited and terrified.

 

[PTPoeny]

I'm in kind of a similar situation, except that my baby is due 3 weeks before I'm supposed to start residency this summer. I learned about it halfway 25% through the interview season and didn't feel it to be wise to give programs a reason to avoid me. I matched a categorical position, and one where I spend 3 months of intern year with the Anesthesia team. The rest will be mix of wards/ICU/EM/surg.

So needless to say, I'm watching what people are saying here. I haven't contacted my program to let them know yet. I'm going to wait until we have the new chiefs elected and reach out to them first. I'm nervous to reach out and say "Excited to meet you! I need 3 weeks off", especially so early in the relationship with my program.

I couple's matched and we are 2 physicians living in a city without family, so we will be utilizing daycare. All the daycares near me won't accept infants until 6 weeks, so there's a 3-4 week time period I'm extra nervous about.

So good luck OP. On top of struggling with being a new doctor we get to struggle with learning to be new parents. I'm excited and terrified.

Unfortunately you are in a very different position. My residency program was incredibly supportive and worked out 3 months of paid leave for every woman in my program that they could. But your programs hands may be tied if your baby is born before you start. I had a co resident who had a baby two weeks before orientation and started on time because her family couldn't afford to have her not working and she wasn't eligible for paid leave.

Similarly, my fellowship had a generous paid maternity leave policy, but I had a baby a few weeks before the end of residency so I wasn't eligible for any of it (and I only had a few weeks of residency left so I got those few weeks paid but not a full maternity leave).

FMLA only makes it so you don't lose your job. Generally programs aren't going to fire a resident for taking maternity leave since it is a pain to be down a resident and they know we are going to come back and finish or fill training, so the lack of FMLA hadn't been a problem for any interns I know of who had babies.

 

[deleted171991]

You should have 15 days of sick time during 4 years of residency/intern training that can be used toward this in addition to the standard 15 days of vacation per year (translating to 3 weeks/year in most cases).

Any absence beyond one month per year tends to extend training (each board has its own policy).

 

[Mehd School]

Unfortunately you are in a very different position. My residency program was incredibly supportive and worked out 3 months of paid leave for every woman in my program that they could. But your programs hands may be tied if your baby is born before you start. I had a co resident who had a baby two weeks before orientation and started on time because her family couldn't afford to have her not working and she wasn't eligible for paid leave.

Similarly, my fellowship had a generous paid maternity leave policy, but I had a baby a few weeks before the end of residency so I wasn't eligible for any of it (and I only had a few weeks of residency left so I got those few weeks paid but not a full maternity leave).

FMLA only makes it so you don't lose your job. Generally programs aren't going to fire a resident for taking maternity leave since it is a pain to be down a resident and they know we are going to come back and finish or fill training, so the lack of FMLA hadn't been a problem for any interns I know of who had babies.

I appreciate your experience and input. I kind of figured this to be the case.

We're generally not looking to miss a lot of time. Also, we're fine not getting paid for missed time. Our resident handbook basically states that we are free to use vacation time or unpaid leave. I think if each of us use a vacation week and each use a week of unpaid leave we should be good.

 

[cillycilly]

Thank you all for the responses, it seems that I might have to extend my residency time. Im just worried about the learning curve of starting later than everyone else the when I start my anesthesia year. also, if I take unpaid vacation leave like 2 weeks after my 4 week vaca will I have to make that up also?

 

[vector2]

I'm in kind of a similar situation, except that my baby is due 3 weeks before I'm supposed to start residency this summer. I learned about it halfway 25% through the interview season and didn't feel it to be wise to give programs a reason to avoid me. I matched a categorical position, and one where I spend 3 months of intern year with the Anesthesia team. The rest will be mix of wards/ICU/EM/surg.

So needless to say, I'm watching what people are saying here. I haven't contacted my program to let them know yet. I'm going to wait until we have the new chiefs elected and reach out to them first. I'm nervous to reach out and say "Excited to meet you! I need 3 weeks off", especially so early in the relationship with my program.

I couple's matched and we are 2 physicians living in a city without family, so we will be utilizing daycare. All the daycares near me won't accept infants until 6 weeks, so there's a 3-4 week time period I'm extra nervous about.

So good luck OP. On top of struggling with being a new doctor we get to struggle with learning to be new parents. I'm excited and terrified.

Just my 2 cents but I wouldn't be waiting for new chiefs assuming your PD is still going to be the same person. Larger programs, especially, are already in the process in working out kinks/making changes to the schedule of the rising intern class. They're not going to be a huge fan of the news regardless of when you tell them, so better to be upfront and give them more time to plan rather than less.

 

[deleted697127]

First off, congrats and good luck. I couldn’t do it. My vote would be to email sooner rather than later. You just need to break the seal for the ongoing communication. Not all programs are going to be upset. It may be difficult coordinating between two programs if you are not categorical, but you are not the first and won’t be the last. You don’t owe anyone an apology for having a life outside of work. My administration routinely supports residents in your situation. Delaying graduation means an extra senior resident down the road in July when most hospitals tend to be understaffed.

 

[Orin]

I haven't contacted my program to let them know yet. I'm going to wait until we have the new chiefs elected and reach out to them first. I'm nervous to reach out and say "Excited to meet you! I need 3 weeks off", especially so early in the relationship with my program.

I couple's matched and we are 2 physicians living in a city without family, so we will be utilizing daycare. All the daycares near me won't accept infants until 6 weeks, so there's a 3-4 week time period I'm extra nervous about.

Congratulations to you guys too!

Definitely reach out to the program directors sooner rather than later, as they can let the outgoing/incoming chiefs to start thinking about figuring that out.

In general, ask for help early and often, but don't expect to get anything.

Reach out to the interns ahead of you for tips on work/schedules.

You will want to figure out if someone outside you/your partner can rotate on/off for those first weeks and any transitions to help out. The transition to daycare can be a bit rocky, and it's a lot harder to go get to your kid in the middle of the day if they spike a fever or aren't feeding when you're both doing clinical work.

You will get through it, but you'll want to stay flexible, schedule your priorities, and realize there's more to life than being the best at school/work/cooking/etc

 

[PTPoeny]

Also sign up for daycare today. Where I matched for fellowship I got my son on several lists right after I matched (in December not march) and my husband started hike for a few months because he didn't get into anywhere we could afford right away. Daycare also (probably) won't have hours that work for two interns do you should look into a nanny as well. Ask your new program if there is a family support email list or Facebook group and you may be able to find another family to share a nanny with. This is what several families in my residency ended up doing.

 

[Mehd School]

Also sign up for daycare today. Where I matched for fellowship I got my son on several lists right after I matched (in December not march) and my husband started hike for a few months because he didn't get into anywhere we could afford right away. Daycare also (probably) won't have hours that work for two interns do you should look into a nanny as well. Ask your new program if there is a family support email list or Facebook group and you may be able to find another family to share a nanny with. This is what several families in my residency ended up doing.

Really appreciate your advice.

Many daycares near us are open 6:30am-6pm. On non-call days this works for me perfectly (~7am-~5pm). On call days my wife or a friend will have to drop baby off as I will need to be at work by 5:30am.

I'm going to call tomorrow and get on some lists. Sharing a nanny with another family (or two) would honestly be ideal for us. We obviously can't afford it individually ($15-20/hour) whereas a month of daycare M-F will cost us around $850. I'm attending a large academic program with essentially every specialty, so hopefully there are others utilizing nannies as well.

Thanks again! Also, hope I'm not hijacking you OP as a lot of these posts can apply to both of us.

 

[precisiongraphic]

Really appreciate your advice.

Many daycares near us are open 6:30am-6pm. On non-call days this works for me perfectly (~7am-~5pm). On call days my wife or a friend will have to drop baby off as I will need to be at work by 5:30am.

I'm going to call tomorrow and get on some lists. Sharing a nanny with another family (or two) would honestly be ideal for us. We obviously can't afford it individually ($15-20/hour) whereas a month of daycare M-F will cost us around $850. I'm attending a large academic program with essentially every specialty, so hopefully there are others utilizing nannies as well.

Thanks again! Also, hope I'm not hijacking you OP as a lot of these posts can apply to both of us.

You might also try to find someone who can be a nontraditional nanny. A few friends of mine used women who also had newborns who wanted to work but needed childcare too. The nanny brought her baby along while she worked and accepted a lower rate than if the nanny hadn't brought her child along with her. These were educated women who wanted to stay home for a while but still needed a job. They also accommodated a variable schedule well, for example for a firefighter's or doctor's family where it wasn't M-F 8-5. On the days that the nanny wasn't needed they didn't have to pay.

 

[Mehd School]

You might also try to find someone who can be a nontraditional nanny. A few friends of mine used women who also had newborns who wanted to work but needed childcare too. The nanny brought her baby along while she worked and accepted a lower rate than if the nanny hadn't brought her child along with her. These were educated women who wanted to stay home for a while but still needed a job. They also accommodated a variable schedule well, for example for a firefighter's or doctor's family where it wasn't M-F 8-5. On the days that the nanny wasn't needed they didn't have to pay.

Fantastic idea. I never would have thought of that.

 

[precisiongraphic]

Fantastic idea. I never would have thought of that.

If I remember correctly, one was an employee at a daycare center who just had a baby and the second was someone that they met through a friend of a friend. So not an easy way to find someone but check with friends and your church/temple and your neighbors, assuming that you're not moving for residencies. Good luck!

 

[flightnurse2MD]

Jesus- this all makes me want to get a vasectomy...