Keep everything in perspective, my friends

[theNDhopeful44]

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[NotASerialKiller]

Hi all,

After what has been a long year of finishing pre-reqs, studying for/taking the MCAT, and waiting to hear back from all my schools, I'm here to encourage everyone on this site– and everywhere– to keep perspective about this process. Collectively, I believe our SDN community comprises some of the most intelligent, talented, and eager students in America and internationally. However, as I'm sure you have noticed, many of us (myself included) are incredibly caught up the admissions process. Rightly so, too– this is one of the most competitive fields to get into, and our nerves very frequently preclude us from seeing, thinking about, and doing anything other, than worry about whether or not we'll get into school somewhere. But I'm posting here because I'd like to shed some light on an often under-discussed topic on here: keeping perspective. I won't spend this post telling you that we should be thankful we're even able to access this site from computers, that we should be thankful we (hopefully) are able to eat, sleep under a roof, or that we should simply be thankful we've made it this far and are applying. I won't do this because you already know all of that– rather, the "keeping perspective" thing I'm talking about runs much deeper.

This process– this long, tedious, nerve-wrecking process– takes just as big of a toll on those close to you, if not more so, than the way in which it affects you. Believe it or not, people get tired of hearing us b**** and moan and complain about our unbalanced MCAT, not having a publication, or whatever else can be stressed about. Our nerves and anxieties do get the better of us, and impact how we interact with our families, significant others, and close friends– people who, when it comes down to it, are far more important than whether or not we're admitted this cycle, next, or never. It does. So much so that these people may take steps necessary so as not to hear your repeated b******* and moaning.

Today, I woke up to a text from my (now ex) girlfriend of 9 months saying we needed to talk. Seeing that she and I had, so far, weathered many storms and rough patches in our relationship (and lived to tell the tale!), I thought nothing of it. When I got off the phone with her, though, I was no longer her boyfriend. I was told I didn't treat her as a priority. That I thought of her as an afterthought. That I didn't even try in our relationship anymore. That I kept talking about the same things, over and over again.

She was right.

All of it was true, and I couldn't deny it. Amidst all my drama and angst surrounding hopefully being admitted to a medical school, I had pushed people away with my inability to consider others' points of view. I had been so worried about my own life and my own future career path that I failed to even consider that she also had a life and deserved to have someone care about it and enjoy talking to, and being with, someone who could see outside themselves. That is what this process has done to me: I have become self-centered, narcissistic, and worried to the point of driving my (now ex) girlfriend– and what I thought was a wonderful relationship– away. Far away. Every quality you wouldn't want in a doctor is presently within me.

So I encourage– I beg– all of you applying this cycle and in the future to seriously consider how your fear and anxieties about this process come across to those you love. It's very possible to become so self-absorbed in yourself and your hopes/dreams/desires that you completely forget that people actually listen to you when we talk, and might not necessarily want to stick around to continue hearing the same things. Or be neglected by you (even if that's the last thing you'd ever consciously do).

Take my advice and please don't make the same mistakes I made. Take the time to hug your parents, kiss you boyfriend/girlfriend, and show them you are more than this stupid application process. Care for them as if you never know what may happen, because in reality, you don't. I miss my girlfriend more than I can express with words, and it's completely my fault that we're no longer together. I think that's the hardest part. Because at the end of the day, med schools will be there. You can always try again. You can't always try again with what you've lost.

tl;dr keep perspective. there are people out there who deserve your presence in more ways than simply hearing about the medical school application process.

Did she also break up with you because you post emotional revelations on SDN instead of sharing them with people in your life? You should probably just go out for a few dozen beers with a friend, as far as I know that's what proper coping looks like.

 

[yungspleen]

Did she also break up with you because you post emotional revelations on SDN instead of sharing them with people in your life? You should probably just go out for a few dozen beers with a friend, as far as I know that's what proper coping looks like.

A little harsh

 

[ChymeofPassion]

Did she also break up with you because you post emotional revelations on SDN instead of sharing them with people in your life? You should probably just go out for a few dozen beers with a friend, as far as I know that's what proper coping looks like.

Thats some rek'd if I've ever seen it

 

[theNDhopeful44]

I'm just trying to give out my $0.02 out of love to all of you.

 

[Frogger27]

There's plenty of other fish in the sea...

 

[Dagrimsta1]

Saunas and massage chairs help I hear. Moral of the story go to the mall after the spa

 

[Matthew9Thirtyfive]

Your girlfriend of a whopping 9 months broke up with you because you were focused on med school. You're better off, because that relationship wouldn't have lasted had you somehow convinced her to stick it out. Just be glad you weren't already married.

 

[DingoPingo]

that's the ****, thanks for the kind words man

first compassionate post i've seen on this forums in a while

take it easy

 

[Horse Apiece]

Don't date needy. Very simple advice, but when not followed usually ends bad.

 

[ml200201]

If you were to do it all over again, i don't know if you could have done things differently. The people who get in are the ones who are focused on their goals and want it more than anything. If there was ever a time to be self-absorbed and super determined, now is the time. She might have been perfect for you in another career path, but now you need to find someone who will suffer beside you through med school.

 

[theNDhopeful44]

If you were to do it all over again, i don't know if you could have done things differently. The people who get in are the ones who are focused on their goals and want it more than anything. If there was ever a time to be self-absorbed and super determined, now is the time. She might have been perfect for you in another career path, but now you need to find someone who will suffer beside you through med school.

This is advice I really needed to hear. Thank you.

 

[MareNostrummm]

Did she also break up with you because you post emotional revelations on SDN instead of sharing them with people in your life? You should probably just go out for a few dozen beers with a friend, as far as I know that's what proper coping looks like.

REKT on aisle 2

 

[#GetRekt]

delete facebook, hit the gym

 

[Hospitalized]

Good message, interesting execution.

 

[Goro]

There's a Jack for every Jill, and a Jill for every Jack.

There's plenty of other fish in the sea...

 

[DingoPingo]

in love, we get hurt, and we hurt others

oftentimes both happen at the same time

the respectable will stand up and learn from their past mistakes

kudos to you