Keeping your name?

[PTPoeny]

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This is mostly directed to the females. How many of you will keep your name professionally if you get married in medical school?

 

[crys20]

I would love to get a discussion going on this. For one, my SO's last name sounds very, very polish and I'm anything but, plus I like my last name! So I was thinking about keeping both names legal w/ no hyphen...as in:

Crystal MaidenName MarriedName

And then being Dr. MaidenName

But Mrs. MarriedName for like, the kids functions and what not...But I don't know about how all this name stuff works. So ladies, enlighten me 🙂

 

[Ambs]

I'll use my future hubby's name. 🙂

(Not that I have anything against my maiden name!)

 

[PTPoeny]

Personally I think my SO's name is a lot easier to say than mine and might just change my name. But I have also thout about going by mine professionally and his personally. So I'm not much help in the discussion. I kinda wanted to get a feel for other peoples thoughts on the idea.

 

[AStudent]

If you loved him you'd take his name.

 

[pillowhead]

If you loved him you'd take his name.

As a married medical student who has taken her husband's name, I think that is absolute BS. You could just as easily say the same thing about the husband. If he loves his wife and she wants to keep her name, he should have no problem with that. It's a totally personal decision. That said, I've always found hyphenated names to be kind of a pain, but hey, if you like it and it works for you, more power to you.

 

[wends]

my name with dr. in front of it sounds pretty cool, its sounds powerful adn to be respected lol....but if my future husband's last name is equally as cool then maybe i'd take it......i'd hate to switch names as i am the last in my family 🙁 my family's name dies with me......

 

[jmk]

my current bf's last name is cox. Not that we are close to getting married but I think it could be cool to be called dr. cox 🙂

 

[criminallyinane]

Nope, wouldn't take my husband's name. Keeping my own. I like it, and it's mine, and I don't want to take anybody else's.

Actually, I take that back. I would consider taking my husband's name if he also took mine, ie if both of us became

Firstname Middlename MyLast HisLast

Not hyphenated, just with both names represented in each of our names. I would then go by Dr. MyLast professionally, but would use his name socially, ie, would be Firstname HisLast.

But I wouldn't take his name if he also didn't take mine, because that seems to me to imply that his name is somehow more important than mine just because he is the male of the family... and I don't agree with that.

 

[ttpatel]

I havent really decided if I will change my name or not when I am married.

But if I happen to get married while in med school....after years of hard work and busting my ass ....my diploma will definitely have my maiden name on it!

 

[naimist]

I think if I married a fellow doctor, I would be more inclined to keep my own last name, at least professionally, so that we both wouldn't be Dr. HisLastName. Other than that, I think I'd be okay with taking his last name.

 

[Hakashi]

If you loved him you'd take his name.

Agreed.

Any woman who keeps her last name is a feminist and the man should seriously reconsider marrying her. I think it would be logical to conclude these types of women don't want many children and/or don't want to do the majority of the domestic house work. Stay away from these women at all costs.

If the man is good enough to marry, than he is good enough for you to take his last name. Period.

Honestly women? Why would you insult your husband like this? If the woman he loved wouldn't even take his name that is the biggest insult a future wife could do....

 

[Hakashi]

To the women in this thread....

Women have taken the man's name throughout the history of mankind. The word of God also says, "In the name of the Father..."

Why the all of a sudden change in the last 30 years?

 

[Hakashi]

But I wouldn't take his name if he also didn't take mine, because that seems to me to imply that his name is somehow more important than mine just because he is the male of the family... and I don't agree with that.

Feminist?

 

[CoffeeCat]

To the women in this thread....

Women have taken the man's name throughout the history of mankind. The word of God also says, "In the name of the Father..."

Why the all of a sudden change in the last 30 years?

Please keep religion out of this - not everyone's religious and even if they are they may not share your religious beliefs.

I'm married and as far as the name change thing goes I took my husband's because I liked his better, it's easier and I feel like we're more of a family with the same last name. I figured also, what would we do about the kids? Give them his last name and then I would be the only one in the family with a different name? Weird. I've also never felt that changing my name changed who I am or made me less of a person.

To each her own. 🙂

 

[Hakashi]

Please keep religion out of this - not everyone's religious and even if they are they may not share your religious beliefs.

Last time I checked we were one nation under God

 

[Miss Alyssa]

Hakashi, are you male or female?

"I think it would be logical to conclude these types of women don't want many children and/or don't want to do the majority of the domestic house work. "

this is a pre-med forum, I dont too many women here want 6+ children. We probably wont be doing the 'majority' of the housework either, seeing as doctors spend alot of time at work... if you're looking for a housewife, you might be looking in the wrong place...

 

[Miss Alyssa]

Last time I checked we were one nation under God

Part of the Old Testament condones beating your wife. I guess we should continue to allow this too?

 

[Dies Irae]

To the women in this thread....

Women have taken the man's name throughout the history of mankind. The word of God also says, "In the name of the Father..."

Why the all of a sudden change in the last 30 years?

Are you serious?

 

[ocean11]

Are you serious?

I personally am looking for a man to change his last name to MINE!!!! and I want my kids to have MY last name. Me and my bf have actually gotten into many arguments about this.

But think about it..... a mother gives her children more than the father, namely DNA + mitochondria, she also bares the children and usually spends more time raising them.... the kids should have HER last name!!! and that is EXACTLY what I intend to do once I or if I get married and have kids!! My husband can have MY last name!!

 

[45408]

Part of the Old Testament condones beating your wife. I guess we should continue to allow this too?

link? citation?

 

[criminallyinane]

Feminist?

Chauvinist?

As a woman, I will not do most of the housework, I will do half.
I will not expect that my husband needs me to stroke his ego by taking his name, I will expect that we will decide on what works for our family based on our own values, traditions, and cultures.
I will have as many kids as he and I decide we want to have.
I will not spend all of my time child-rearing, I will share the parenting responsibilities with him.

Just because I have a vagina, it doesn't mean that my duty in life is to take care of a man, kids, and housework, without thought to my needs, desires, or goals.

You are sexist.

 

[ocean11]

Agreed.

Any woman who keeps her last name is a feminist and the man should seriously reconsider marrying her. I think it would be logical to conclude these types of women don't want many children and/or don't want to do the majority of the domestic house work. Stay away from these women at all costs.

If the man is good enough to marry, than he is good enough for you to take his last name. Period.

Honestly women? Why would you insult your husband like this? If the woman he loved wouldn't even take his name that is the biggest insult a future wife could do....

Why would he insult me and not take MY last name?!? and don't you think you're being judgemental by saying 'stay away from these women at all costs.' and as for med students/doctors not wanting kids NOT TRUE! many of my female friends, one in particular, want VERY large families....

Perhaps its time for men to put the apron on and share the domestic duties..

 

[Dies Irae]

Either way, make sure you sign a pre-nup...BOTH OF YOU!

 

[Hakashi]

Chauvinist?

As a woman, I will not do most of the housework, I will do half.
I will not expect that my husband needs me to stroke his ego by taking his name, I will expect that we will decide on what works for our family based on our own values, traditions, and cultures.
I will have as many kids as he and I decide we want to have.
I will not spend all of my time child-rearing, I will share the parenting responsibilities with him.

Just because I have a vagina, it doesn't mean that my duty in life is to take care of a man, kids, and housework, without thought to my needs, desires, or goals.

You are sexist.

You are a female chauvenist.

Good luck finding a man who is willing to do what you want. Men do not want feminists.

Did you learn this type of thinking from your mother or by reading about the feminst movement in books?

 

[Hakashi]

Perhaps its time for men to put the apron on and share the domestic duties..

This will never happen. Despite the feminist movement and women's liberation movement, more and more men today are realizing what has happened over the past 50 years is disgusting.

Good luck finding a man with any honor and balls willing to do that. Unless you are looking for a man who is just marrying you for your money (assuming you get into medical school)

 

[criminallyinane]

You are a female chauvenist.

Good luck finding a man who is willing to do what you want. Men do not want feminists.

All of the men I've been in relationships with in the past seem to not mind dating a woman who believes she is his equal. Neither does my current boyfriend.

Did you learn this type of thinking from your mother or by reading about the feminst movement in books?

I learned this type of thinking by associating with educated folk. Maybe you should try it sometime!

 

[confettiflyer]

I think it would be logical to conclude these types of women don't want many children and/or don't want to do the majority of the domestic house work. Stay away from these women at all costs.

Haha wow, I didn't know they still made people like you.

You make me ashamed to be called male


Anyway and old chemistry pair I had a long time ago had combined hyphenated names. (names changed), so Ms. Laurel Michael and Mr. Richard Jackson became Mrs. Laurel Michael-Jackson and Mr. Richard Michael-Jackson. I thought it was pretty darn cool.

 

[Dies Irae]

You are a female chauvenist.

 

[Hakashi]

All of the men I've been in relationships with in the past seem to not mind dating a woman who believes she is his equal. Neither does my current boyfriend.



I learned this type of thinking by associating with educated folk. Maybe you should try it sometime!

1. Keyword is men, not boy. You have dated boys. It would be safe to assume that none of these boys are going into medicine and would have a salary close to yours. This is your way of gaining control and power in the relationship.

2. Is this why my GPA is 4.0 and yours isn't?

Perhaps you should realize that a woman should not prioritize her career over having children and keeping a home for her family.

 

[Miss Alyssa]

link? citation?

Wow, I was HORRIBLE mistaken, and don't know where I got that info from

"Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them." Colossians 3:19

although I could have sworn there were specifications as to the size of rod you can beat your wife with... did I mix that up with the "rule of thumb"?

I dunno
sorry though, especially is I offended anyone 🙁

 

[Hakashi]

👎

Haha wow, I didn't know they still made people like you.

You make me ashamed to be called male


Anyway and old chemistry pair I had a long time ago had combined hyphenated names. (names changed), so Ms. Laurel Michael and Mr. Richard Jackson became Mrs. Laurel Michael-Jackson and Mr. Richard Michael-Jackson. I thought it was pretty darn cool.

LOL. It is boys like you who give the male gender a bad reputation. Your weak views and actions make me ashamed to be the same gender as you.

It also doesn't surprise me that you are from a democratic state 👎

 

[Hakashi]

Wow, I was HORRIBLE mistaken, and don't know where I got that info from

"Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them." Colossians 3:19

although I could have sworn there were specifications as to the size of rod you can beat your wife with... did I mix that up with the "rule of thumb"?

I dunno
sorry though, especially is I offended anyone 🙁

‘wives, serve your husbands, serve your husbands in everything’ Ephesians 5: 21-69

What part of this quotation do feminists not understand?

Don't get me wrong. I'm not against women working. But many female physicians put their careers over serving their husbands which is wrong.

 

[criminallyinane]

1. Keyword is men, not boy. You have dated boys. It would be safe to assume that none of these boys are going into medicine.

My boyfriend is an MD/PhD student at a top ten medical school.

2. Is this why my GPA is 4.0 and yours isn't?

Where have you gotten into medical school?

Perhaps you should realize that a woman should not prioritize her career over having children and keeping a home for her family.

Why is that? Because she's born with a vagina? What makes a man able to prioritize his career over keeping a home for his family - his penis? And what is degrading about a man who pitches in at home? Does it make his penis smaller?

Inquiring minds want to know.

 

[Miss Alyssa]

1. Keyword is men, not boy. You have dated boys. It would be safe to assume that none of these boys are going into medicine.

2. Is this why my GPA is 4.0 and yours isn't?

Perhaps you should realize that a woman should not prioritize her career over having children and keeping a home for her family.

So if I am unable to have children, am I worthless?

 

[criminallyinane]

‘wives, serve your husbands, serve your husbands in everything’ Ephesians 5: 21-69

Ah, a bible thumper. It's all so clear now

I don't live my life according to an outdated, fictional text. If you'd like to, then hats off to you, but telling women that they should serve their husbands just makes you look d-u-m.

 

[Hakashi]

My boyfriend is an MD/PhD student at a top ten medical school.



Where have you gotten into medical school?



Why is that? Because she's born with a vagina? What makes a man able to prioritize his career over keeping a home for his family - his penis? And what is degrading about a man who pitches in at home? Does it make his penis smaller?

Inquiring minds want to know.

1. Your boyfriend is has not reached manhood. He is still a boy. He always will be.

2. I have just finished my second year of undergrad after getting a 4.0 in both years. Considering I just turned 18, it would be safe to assume I am far better off than you were at my age.

3. ‘wives, serve your husbands, serve your husbands in everything’ Ephesians 5: 21-69

What part of this quotation do you not understand? Can I assume you are a democrat who doesn't feel Christianity should have any say in government? 🙄

 

[Dies Irae]

1. Keyword is men, not boy. You have dated boys. It would be safe to assume that none of these boys are going into medicine.

2. Is this why my GPA is 4.0 and yours isn't?

Perhaps you should realize that a woman should not prioritize her career over having children and keeping a home for her family.

Look, I mean no offence, but posting this kind of an opinion here will not change anyone's beliefs or values, especially not independant, educated women who are going to be doctors.

There are women out there that would agree with your values, consider searching for them in bible belt. Or get a trophy wife--my uncle's got one, and she is the most ravishing beauty I have ever seen. 😍

👍

 

[Hakashi]

Ah, a bible thumper. It's all so clear now

I don't live my life according to an outdated, fictional text. If you'd like to, then hats off to you, but telling women that they should serve their husbands just makes you look d-u-m.

Ah, a democratic feminist/socialist. Now I understand.

Too bad you are the minority in America 😀

No, you don't live your life to the Bible, which is the Truth. Instead you live your life to the poisoned views that feminists have spewed into your mind.

Oh well, not only do I take comfort in knowing I am mentally superior to you, but also knowing I can physically knock you on your feminist ass with one swing 😀 Have a good day.

 

[NiteOwl]

I will probably keep my last name. Unless my guys name was really great. And I mean it would have to be a really really great name. I mean there are some names I would not take. For instance, I've met someone with the last name 'Peed'...(yes, I am serious). No offense to anyone if that is their last name, but there is no way I would change my last name to Peed.

To the person who said that it is feminist to not take the mans last name: I really disagree. If that is true then if a man refuses to take the womans name he must be chauvinistic. There is nothing wrong with a woman who wishes to keep her maiden name. Just because you are a Christian does not mean that you need to think of women as inferior. I am a Christian and I don't believe that.

 

[Hakashi]

To the person who said that it is feminist to not take the mans last name: I really disagree. If that is true then if a man refuses to take the womans name he must be chauvinistic. There is nothing wrong with a woman who wishes to keep her maiden name. Just because you are a Christian does not mean that you need to think of women as inferior. I am a Christian and I don't believe that.

Being from Alabama, it would be safe to conclude that most of your fellow residents would not agree with you.

Bottom line: "In the name of the Father"

If any woman was to say to me after I propsed that she wants to keep her maiden name, I would immediately retract the offer.

 

[Hakashi]

Look, I mean no offence, but posting this kind of an opinion here will not change anyone's beliefs or values, especially not independant, educated women who are going to be doctors.

There are women out there that would agree with your values, consider searching for them in bible belt. Or get a trophy wife--my uncle's got one, and she is the most ravishing beauty I have ever seen. 😍

👍

Most intelligent post other than mine in this thread.

Sometimes I have to remember where I am posting. In a female PREMED forum. And we all know what type of girls female premeds are 🙄

 

[criminallyinane]

1. Your boyfriend is has not reached manhood. He is still a boy. He always will be.

This coming from an 18 year old

2. I have just finished my second year of undergrad after getting a 4.0 in both years. Considering I just turned 18, it would be safe to assume I am far better off than you were at my age.

Well, little boy, I am going to medical school, and considering your attitude, it would be safe to assume that I am far better off that you will be at my age 😉

3. ‘wives, serve your husbands, serve your husbands in everything’ Ephesians 5: 21-69

What part of this quotation do you not understand? Can I assume you are a democrat who doesn't feel Christianity should have any say in government? 🙄

I am a follower of the Constitution, which demands a separation of church and state. Oh, and I don't believe in Jayzus, nor do I believe that our government should make laws based around a fictional text such as the Bible.
😛

 

[Miss Alyssa]

‘wives, serve your husbands, serve your husbands in everything’ Ephesians 5: 21-69

What part of this quotation do feminists not understand?

Don't get me wrong. I'm not against women working. But many female physicians put their careers over serving their husbands which is wrong.

"However, in the Lord, neither is woman independent of man, nor is man independent of woman. For as the woman originates from the man, so also the man has his birth through the woman; and all things originate from God." 1 Corinthians 11:11-12

"The husband must fulfill his duty to his wife, and likewise also the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does; and LIKEWISE also the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does." 1 Corinthians 7: 3-4

the way I read the Text, everything goes 2 ways

 

[Dies Irae]

Most intelligent post other than mine in this thread.

Sometimes I have to remember where I am posting. In a female PREMED forum. And we all know what type of girls female premeds are 🙄

I do not agree with your beliefs or values, but I respect your right to have them. I only ask that you show the same respect for others. When our fundamental personal values are attacked, we are going to say angry things and sound stupid: that is true whether you are a traditional Patriotic Christian or a Feminist Liberal Communist.

 

[NiteOwl]

Being from Alabama, it would be safe to conclude that most of your fellow residents would not agree with you.

Bottom line: "In the name of the Father"

If any woman was to say to me after I propsed that she wants to keep her maiden name, I would immediately retract the offer.

Not all people from Alabama are like you. Oh, and this will shock you too, not only am I a Christian, I am a republican too! Yet I still don't think women are inferior. You do realize that "Father" in the quote "In the name of the Father" represents God and not human men right? And if I were the woman you proposed to, I would be quite happy that you would take back the offer. I am not one of those women who was brainwashed into thinking that I have to be a housewife who takes orders from a husband.

 

[mercaptovizadeh]

This is dumb. My mother never changed her name, and she isn't a professional. She says "When I married my husband, he didn't become my father." So, I don't personally don't care for my wife to change her name. Nor would I want my sister or my daughters to change their names. If it's equal, then it's equal.

On the other hand, the title "Ms." for my wife would somewhat annoy me; I would prefer "Mrs." Then again, this contradicts the above to some degree.

 

[bluepanda]

There is another possibility for married people and that is to form a hybrid last name, combining parts of each partner's pre-married last name to create an entirely new name symbolic of their union.

Hakashi: as an individual striving to enter a field based on science that demands empathy toward and tolerance of patients whose views may be very different from your own, it may be wise to critically evaluate your own views and actually try to understand others' choices.
When you cite scripture as "the absolute truth" to support your opinion, you are not relying on the scientific method. As tybebmd argued in a completely different thread, when one lacks any facts to support their view, it is simply an opinion of no more or less value than any other opinion without factual backing. As you claim to be a Christian, you might consider reading "The Heart of Christianity" by Marcus J. Borg. It may help you gain insight into the the power of a transforming relationship with the divine that begins when one dies to their own selfish demands and desires.

 

[akpete]

Troll?

Hakashi, are you gonna be one of those guys that keeps his wife held hostage in their own home that are on cheesy talk shows all the time? Pig.

 

[sierra89]

I'd only take my husband's name if he took mine or if we somehow made a hybrid.

I do not believe that a wife's position is to serve her husband, have his children, do most of the housework, etc. That contradicts the idea that marriage is a partnership between two people (IMHO).