Keeping your name?

[galactica2001]

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When I become Dr. X, I don't like the idea of my husband's family getting credit when it is my family and I who worked hard for so many years shaping me and supporting me.
And I think kids should have the mother's name because we're the ones that bear them and raise them. If you've never had children, just wait and see. 👍

I totally agree with ya

 

[Thundrstorm]

I don't think I'll change my name when I get married, but it has nothing to do with professional usage or anything. I just don't feel like I should have to change my name, which I love, and which I've had my whole ife, just b/c other people traditionally do it. I may change it; Ill make that decision when I come to it. And before anyone labels me, I'll go ahead and do it for you; I'm both a feminist and a Christian.

 

[psipsina]

When my husband and I first got married, I was not going to change my name to his. Everyone in my father's generation had female children, and I didn't want to risk the name dying. Also, my grandfather on my father's side was an amazing doctor in his time (he actually treated the Kennedy's in their compound, had a BS and MD from Haaaavard, and later taught at said medical school, made major cancer discoveries etc) so I thought it would be really cool to be a doctor with his name. However, throughout the past 5 years as we have struggled to put me thru med school (my husband is an actor so his only steady income comes from waiting tables and being a line cook, he worked to put me thru my undergrad, talk about a cool guy 😍 ) his family has be the ones to come to our rescue when we have needed it most. His mom actually just lent me the money so I could submit my amcas before my July 1st payday. His family is an immigrant family from sicily, my husband is the first in their family to attend college. I would be the first Dr. Gennnusa, whereas in my family it is not a rarity at all. I decided to change my name to his as a gift to his family for their generosity and support of my dream, I'm giving them their first doctor. However, my husband never questioned me when this was not my intention, and respected this issue as something for me to decide, because we are equals and parters.

 

[abraxas20]

If you loved him you'd take his name.

If he loved me he'd take mine. BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!

As it is, I changed my name for a year and then realized that it was silly not to have my name, so I went home one day and said "I want my name back" and he said "OK" and went back to his computer game.

A couple of hours later he came out to the living room and said "so what will we name our kids". I said we would give them his name. I know that once we have kids (after 6 years, we haven't embarked on that particular debacle yet) I will be Mrs. HisName, but I will be Dr. MyName.

Suits me fine.

Abraxas MyName

 

[abraxas20]

I'm going to be a brown-haired green-eyed white girl named Dr. Gonzalez. My patients are sure in for a surprise.

Oh this cracks me up. I worked with a kid whose last name was Gonzalez. His mother had changed her name to Gonzalez and no one looked like that should have been their name. I think it is so cool that names are moving around like that.

Rock on!!

 

[thirdunity]

Keeping my last name.

Having just separated (and before the trolls speak up about feminists and divorce - it was a situation of mental abuse and threats of physical violence), I expect I won't be getting married again any time soon, and whatever name I had in school should be the name I go by after I graduate.

This is the case with many women I know who marry later.

It's not a political statement. It's just easier this way.

 

[samdwi]

1. Your boyfriend is has not reached manhood. He is still a boy. He always will be.

2. I have just finished my second year of undergrad after getting a 4.0 in both years. Considering I just turned 18, it would be safe to assume I am far better off than you were at my age.

3. ‘wives, serve your husbands, serve your husbands in everything’ Ephesians 5: 21-69

What part of this quotation do you not understand? Can I assume you are a democrat who doesn't feel Christianity should have any say in government? 🙄

Hey Hakashi,

1. Please don't go into OB/GYN.

2. Christianity should have NO say in government, nor should any other religion.

3. You're f***ing weird.

4. You do realize that these religious quotes you state are over 2000 years old, and have little if any modern meaning?

5. Academically, you may be ahead of most pre-meds, yet moldy cheese has more maturity than you.

6. Your ego is awesome, please explain to the rest of us how you got head so far up your a** - its a medical marvel.

 

[Tigerstang]

I personally am looking for a man to change his last name to MINE!!!! and I want my kids to have MY last name. Me and my bf have actually gotten into many arguments about this.

But think about it..... a mother gives her children more than the father, namely DNA + mitochondria, she also bares the children and usually spends more time raising them.... the kids should have HER last name!!! and that is EXACTLY what I intend to do once I or if I get married and have kids!! My husband can have MY last name!!

Good luck finding a man to marry you.

 

[samdwi]

why do you right thinking people feed the stupid trolls? here's a good rule of thumb -

If the poster is making a completely inflamitory/outrageous argument (hakashi, mercaptovizadeh, npursuit), chances are they are pulling your chain. Nobody REALLY thinks like that, except in internet forums and psychiatric wards.

Actually, I have personally known some of the most whacky pre-meds. I'm not talking of stoned or just weird/eccentric, I'm talking fire-and-brimstone type, women-will-burn-in-hell type, gays-will-boil-in-a river-of-blood type nuts. And they got good MCAT scores to boot.

If this Hakashi guy is for real, I hope the system works and he gets weeded out of the med-school process. So far as I know, the religious whackos that I knew never made it into US Med Schools, however one did get into a school in the Phillipines.

I'm a male, and I would like for my future wife to adopt my last name, but its not a deal-breaker or anything. My family name has a 2300 year old history, so I'd like to see it continue in some way.

 

[Deleted member 72527]

I will be Dr. MaidenName, but Mrs. MarriedName (socially and in the phone book). My kids will be ____ MarriedName. Now I just need to find Mr. MarriedName 🙂.

 

[bwells46]

Ah, a bible thumper. It's all so clear now

I don't live my life according to an outdated, fictional text. If you'd like to, then hats off to you, but telling women that they should serve their husbands just makes you look d-u-m.

LOL! I'm guessing you mean d-u-m-b!

Seriously, though, educated women are HOT! I've dated a few very attractive blonde bimbos and those "relationships" fizzled out pretty quickly. I say "Great" to any woman that wants to get an education and have a rewarding career as a doctor, lawyer, engineer, investment banker, etc. To me, that only makes you hotter!

 

[criminallyinane]

LOL! I'm guessing you mean d-u-m-b!

I don't know if you're kidding but I was joking 😉

 

[bwells46]

I don't know if you're kidding but I was joking 😉

I was just poking fun - no harm intended 😉

 

[hobs]

Many females are spouting about how "my name is my name and I like it". Well many of you women(some not all) have your fathers last names. Had youre moms felt the way you feel you would have her name. I guess you would keep that name too huh? Or should you make up your own? Then it would truly be "Your Name."

I do have both my mother's and father's names: my middle name is my mom's and my last name is my dad's. My parents were very careful to give my sister and i legacy from both sides of the family.

Wanting to keep one's name isn't about resenting names attached to a male family member--husband or father. This is a gross misunderstanding. For me, it's about retaining identity. And it just seems like such a pain in the butt to change names.

 

[Writer1985]

Agreed, it's not a worldwide tradition for the wife to take her husband's name upon marriage. Some places are even more exacting (wrong word, but I'm tired...) When my cousin got married, he and his fiancee, both medical students, were considering changing not only her last name but also her first name. Apparently that's the tradition in India. That's what happened to my aunt, too, so all our family knows her by her birthname and all her friends later in life know her by her new name. It's pretty confusing.

As for me, I'm probably going to do what my mom did: keep my maiden name professionally and his name personally. Schools, I've found, tend to get confused when the kid's parents have two different names.

 

[MoosePilot]

"All your surname are belong to us!"

 

[CuddlyKumquat]

Not changing it.
One: Probably will marry outside of my race...and I like my family name because it ultimately connects me to my culture

Two: I've published papers already and although they aren't big ones, I would still like to be able to cite them

 

[jdb_712]

I just got married on Sunday and changed my last name to my husband's. I didn't really care about changing it either way and neither did he, but I thought about it and it is much easier to pronounce his last name then mine. I have never heard his last name pronounced incorrectly, while I would have to use both hands and feet to count the ways I have heard my last name pronounced. I could just hear it now.."Paging Dr. ?"

 

[LadyJubilee8_18]

my name with dr. in front of it sounds pretty cool, its sounds powerful adn to be respected lol....but if my future husband's last name is equally as cool then maybe i'd take it......i'd hate to switch names as i am the last in my family 🙁 my family's name dies with me......

My SO's last name is Navejar...and I'm black. People would be so freakin confused. I still don't say it correctly, and we have been dating for 20 months! Would you go to a doctor who couldnt pronounce her own last name? Also, what if I become established as a doc before I get married, if I change my name, I will lose all that name recognition and have a harder time attracting patients or getting grants for research. Really, these reasons are excuses, because I think Dr. Blazer sounds kick ass! I'm keeping mine.

 

[Xandie]

I just got married on Sunday and changed my last name to my husband's. I didn't really care about changing it either way and neither did he, but I thought about it and it is much easier to pronounce his last name then mine. I have never heard his last name pronounced incorrectly, while I would have to use both hands and feet to count the ways I have heard my last name pronounced. I could just hear it now.."Paging Dr. ?"

Congratulations! What are you doing on SDN? Shouldn't you be enjoying the newly married life?

Also, July 3rd is a fabulous wedding day (Sunday was our first anniversary). Good luck to you!

 

[2tall]

I have no idea what comments have been made in this thread. I've only read the title.

ATTN...All those who will not take on their husband's last name. If you don't take my name, I'm not wearing a wedding band.

Simple as that.

That is all.

 

[BlondeCookie]

Whoever is THE doctor in the house gets to choose what the last name of the baby is going to be.

 

[SarahGM]

Oh well, not only do I take comfort in knowing I am mentally superior to you, but also knowing I can physically knock you on your feminist ass with one swing 😀 Have a good day.

Oh wow... a male chauvinist AND a potential spousal abuser! We've got a real winner here, girls. 🙄

Hakashi, go back to mommy. You're getting eaten alive in here.

 

[jdb_712]

Congratulations! What are you doing on SDN? Shouldn't you be enjoying the newly married life?

Also, July 3rd is a fabulous wedding day (Sunday was our first anniversary). Good luck to you!

Thanks Xandie! We aren't taking our honeymoon until August-our schedules didn't work out until that point. Sunday the 3rd is a great day. The day before the 4th-you always have the holiday-that is unless you are in your hellish residency years.

 

[SlippingSloth]

Either way, make sure you sign a pre-nup...BOTH OF YOU!

You had all better sign pre-nups. Think about it. We pay thousands of dollars for home insurance that the vast majority of us will never need. Why? Because just in case a disaster happens we can call it in and a fire wont ruin our lives. Marriage can be a great thing just remember that 50% end in divorce. Do you want to be left trying to figure things out when the spouse leaves with the house and kids? I know I sure don't.

 

[Masamune4567]

Why is this thread even here?

You are asking FEMALE PREMEDS (most likely feminists) if they are going to change their name? That's like asking the Pope if he's Catholic.

This is one of the main reasons I am not even going to date a premed/med female. They are very feministic and the 'I'm a woman, I'm equal and can do anything a man can do' things makes my stomach churn.
And what's good for me is that the feminists at UBC and here on this board will see me as a 'chauvenist bigot' and not be interested in me. So in the end, we both win 😀 The only difference is, my marriage will be more likely to succeed than yours 🙂

Although Hakashi is obviously on drugs I have to agree with him when he says that men do not want feminists. I want a woman who wants children and wants to stay home and raise a family while I work to support her and our children?

And I'm going to ask the women in here, what the hell is wrong with that?

 

[Dies Irae]

Oh wow... a male chauvinist AND a potential spousal abuser! We've got a real winner here, girls. 🙄

Hakashi, go back to mommy. You're getting eaten alive in here.

I can't believe people are still getting upset over what this guy wrote.. He was banned weeks ago. Face it, there are plenty of ingorant people in the world who love to instigate. You're hypersensitivity to these *****s only reveals your own defensivesness over their absurd spew. 👎

And no woman is taking my last name, because I'm changing my name to a single word, like "Prince."

 

[Dies Irae]

Why is this thread even here?

You are asking FEMALE PREMEDS (most likely feminists) if they are going to change their name? That's like asking the Pope if he's Catholic.

This is one of the main reasons I am not even going to date a premed/med female. They are very feministic and the 'I'm a woman, I'm equal and can do anything a man can do' things makes my stomach churn.
And what's good for me is that the feminists at UBC and here on this board will see me as a 'chauvenist bigot' and not be interested in me. So in the end, we both win 😀 The only difference is, my marriage will be more likely to succeed than yours 🙂

Although Hakashi is obviously on drugs I have to agree with him when he says that men do not want feminists. I want a woman who wants children and wants to stay home and raise a family while I work to support her and our children?

And I'm going to ask the women in here, what the hell is wrong with that?

You have a reasonable preference. Some share your opinion. Some don't. But think of where you are posting it. That's why this thread keeps afloat.

 

[Masamune4567]

You have a reasonable preference. Some share your opinion. Some don't. But think of where you are posting it. That's why this thread keeps afloat.

My point exactly buddy. If we were in Alabama, for example, I can guarantee many more women would agree with me than here on this board for PREMEDICAL STUDENTS.

It doesn't take a genius to figure out why so many females in this thread don't want to take their husbands name and/or don't want to have children. THINK OF THE TYPE OF WOMEN YOU ARE TALKING TO. YOU ARE TALKING TO FEMINISTS WHO PLACE TREMENDOUS IMPORTANCE ON THEIR CAREER.

Don't like women like this men? Me either. But don't get worked up about it. There are PLENTY of women who would love to date a male physician who is making $300,000/yr.

 

[Masamune4567]

You have a reasonable preference. Some share your opinion. Some don't. But think of where you are posting it. That's why this thread keeps afloat.

My point exactly buddy. If we were in Alabama, for example, I can guarantee many more women would agree with me than here on this board for PREMEDICAL STUDENTS.

It doesn't take a genius to figure out why so many females in this thread don't want to take their husbands name and/or don't want to have children. THINK OF THE TYPE OF WOMEN YOU ARE TALKING TO. YOU ARE TALKING TO FEMINISTS WHO PLACE TREMENDOUS IMPORTANCE ON THEIR CAREER.

Don't like women like this men? Me neither. But don't get worked up about it. There are PLENTY of women who would love to date a male physician who is making $300,000/yr.

 

[toofache32]

Whatever happened to the most important job in the world? Women seem to look down on others who take care of their own children full-time. As a surgical resident, I work less hours than my wife who quit her job to raise our children. At least I am guaranteed a day off every week. At least I can turn off my pager when I get home. When I have free time I take my turn in taking care of the house and kid so she can get out and regain her sanity. I'm more tired after 4 hours of doing her job than 24 hours doing my job. I just don't understand where all the disrespect, bitterness, and "poor thing" attitude comes from. It's like a woman is weak, stupid, or couldn't work another job if she raises and moulds her own offspring.

 

[bwells46]

Whoever is THE doctor in the house gets to choose what the last name of the baby is going to be.

What if the other person is a CEO or VP pulling down a multi-million dollar salary? Does that matter?

Also, what does being a doctor have to do with naming the kid?

 

[MoosePilot]

What if the other person is a CEO or VP pulling down a multi-million dollar salary? Does that matter?

Also, what does being a doctor have to do with naming the kid?

No kidding. Just because you've got a good degree doesn't mean you get to take over as petty dictator

 

[DarkFark]

wut is all this talkin bout fee-mail docters? I 'spect ma wife too spend her days barefoot in a lawg cabin, bearin ma childrun.

Who wus thinkin otherwise?

 

[bwells46]

wut is all this talkin bout fee-mail docters? I 'spect ma wife too spend her days barefoot in a lawg cabin, bearin ma childrun.

Who wus thinkin otherwise?

Good evening, Cletus 😀

 

[Deleted member 72527]

Whatever happened to the most important job in the world? Women seem to look down on others who take care of their own children full-time. As a surgical resident, I work less hours than my wife who quit her job to raise our children. At least I am guaranteed a day off every week. At least I can turn off my pager when I get home. When I have free time I take my turn in taking care of the house and kid so she can get out and regain her sanity. I'm more tired after 4 hours of doing her job than 24 hours doing my job. I just don't understand where all the disrespect, bitterness, and "poor thing" attitude comes from. It's like a woman is weak, stupid, or couldn't work another job if she raises and moulds her own offspring.

You could always stay home and do it 🙂 . As for me, I'd rather do what I've been working towards my entire life.

PS - why is it you only mention women? What about the contempt for men who stay home - they encounter a lot more disrespect.

 

[criminallyinane]

[satire]

Why is this thread even here?

You are asking BLACK PEOPLE (most likely non-segregationalists) if they want to go to school with whites? That's like asking the Pope if he's Catholic.

This is one of the main reasons I am not even going to talk to black people. They are very into equality and the 'I'm black, I'm equal and can do anything a white person can do' things makes my stomach churn.
And what's good for me is that the blacks at Central High and here on this board will see me as a 'racist bigot' and not be interested in socializing with me. So in the end, we both win 😀 The only difference is, my friendships with other whites will be more likely to succeed than your interracial friendships 🙂

Although Hitler is obviously on drugs I have to agree with him when he says that whites do not want blacks. I want a black who wants to work in menial jobs, go to their own schools and leave my water fountains alone, while I work to continue to steer our nation in the right direction and work at the important jobs.

And I'm going to ask the blacks in here, what the hell is wrong with that?


[/satire]

 

[criminallyinane]

You have a reasonable preference. Some share your opinion. Some don't. But think of where you are posting it. That's why this thread keeps afloat.

[satire]

My point exactly buddy. If we were in Alabama, for example, I can guarantee many more blacks would agree with me than here on this board for NON-SEGREGATIONALISTS.

It doesn't take a genius to figure out why so many blacks in this thread don't want to work for below minimum wage and/or don't want to stay in the back of the bus. THINK OF THE TYPE OF BLACK PEOPLE YOU ARE TALKING TO. YOU ARE TALKING TO LIBERALS WHO PLACE TREMENDOUS IMPORTANCE ON THEIR RIGHTS AND FREEDOM.

Don't like blacks like this? Me either. But don't get worked up about it. There are PLENTY of blacks who would love to work for a white physician and make $300 a year.

[/satire]

 

[Tiki]

I plan on taking my husband's last name. To me, it's a small sacrifice that I can make for him to let him know how important he is to me. I don't look down on any woman who doesn't want to though, to each their own.

 

[toofache32]

You could always stay home and do it 🙂 . As for me, I'd rather do what I've been working towards my entire life.

PS - why is it you only mention women? What about the contempt for men who stay home - they encounter a lot more disrespect.

I haven't seen any of the same reactions for men. I'm just saying that it's odd that some people seem to look down on those (male or female) who are "just" stay-at-home parents when that has got to be the toughest and most tireless job out there. I still think it's the most important job you can have...way more important than anything I do at the hospital.

 

[Masamune4567]

[satire]

Why is this thread even here?

You are asking BLACK PEOPLE (most likely non-segregationalists) if they want to go to school with whites? That's like asking the Pope if he's Catholic.

This is one of the main reasons I am not even going to talk to black people. They are very into equality and the 'I'm black, I'm equal and can do anything a white person can do' things makes my stomach churn.
And what's good for me is that the blacks at Central High and here on this board will see me as a 'racist bigot' and not be interested in socializing with me. So in the end, we both win 😀 The only difference is, my friendships with other whites will be more likely to succeed than your interracial friendships 🙂

Although Hitler is obviously on drugs I have to agree with him when he says that whites do not want blacks. I want a black who wants to work in menial jobs, go to their own schools and leave my water fountains alone, while I work to continue to steer our nation in the right direction and work at the important jobs.

And I'm going to ask the blacks in here, what the hell is wrong with that?


[/satire]

HAHAHAHAHHAA. Oh that was a real funny one! Got any more coming?
I'm not going to get into a barking contest with a feminist. And you don't want to get into one with a chauvenist.

However, I would enjoy seeing a RL photo of yourself. From what I've seen of your posts here, you are a very condescending woman. I don't know how any good man (other than one who wants sex) would want to spend time with you. I wouldn't be surprised if you were not a very attractive woman and a little resentful of better looking females too.

Oh yes, I forgot. You consider staying at home and looking after children insulting/demeaning. Can I assume you also consider carrying a child/delivering it unfair too? Can I assume you feel this is unfair treatment of women and men should somehow be punished for it?

As I said before to you, I feel sorry for you, because people like you always die alone...

 

[Dies Irae]

HAHAHAHAHHAA. Oh that was a real funny one! Got any more coming?
I'm not going to get into a barking contest with a feminist. And you don't want to get into one with a chauvenist.

However, I would enjoy seeing a RL photo of yourself. From what I've seen of your posts here, you are a very condescending woman. I don't know how any good man (other than one who wants sex) would want to spend time with you. I wouldn't be surprised if you were not a very attractive woman and a little resentful of better looking females too.

Oh yes, I forgot. You consider staying at home and looking after children insulting/demeaning. Can I assume you also consider carrying a child/delivering it unfair too? Can I assume you feel this is unfair treatment of women and men should somehow be punished for it?

As I said before to you, I feel sorry for you, because people like you always die alone...

Dont bother, she's been hovering over this thread for weeks trying to peck at the patriachy. Not all Pre-meds are like her, although she is a vocal minority. The more you instigate with personal attacks, the more fuel you give to her agenda. Just let the damn thing die. 👎

 

[SpeedRacer]

I don't know how any good man (other than one who wants sex) would want to spend time with you.
QUOTE]

HAHHAHA if you think there are men that don't want sex then you are sorely mistaken - now we know who the ugly one is here

 

[MoosePilot]

I don't know how any good man (other than one who wants sex) would want to spend time with you.

HAHHAHA if you think there are men that don't want sex then you are sorely mistaken - now we know who the ugly one is here

How does being mistaken about male sexuality reveal who is ugly?

 

[ForbiddenComma]

Wow, this thread has gotten way out of control.

I can't believe all the guys here who are threatened to the core by successful med/premed women, and feel the need to troll this thread. Can't stand the thought of dating anyone who is your equal? Then fine, don't. Self-select yourself out of the med-school dating pool. Everybody wins. Your own patriarchal home won't come crashing down around you if a couple moves in down the block where the female is the doctor. Geez, lighten up.

 

[visualwealth]

Believe it or not this has been argued before on SDN!!! If you are a man and want a woman to take your last name know that there are many who will be willing to. Also, if you want a woman to take you last name it does not make you a chauvinist... If you are a woman it is okay to keep you last name or, you can always use a hyphen. This is really not something that should be debated on SDN that is, most of the people on SDN are the biggest haters/most selfish/arrogant/elitist people in the world . And the very few of us who have common sense rightfully avoid such inane debates over frivolous topics.

 

[cmgoalie]

Just a quick word - I know a couple in which the wife is a doctor and kept her last name. I'm not sure if she originally wanted to, but it costs an arm and a leg to change the name on your license so she kept her maiden name. I think it's about time to let this one die; it's a choice, pure and simple, and no one is better than anyone else for the choice that they make. End of story.

 

[Masamune4567]

Dont bother, she's been hovering over this thread for weeks trying to peck at the patriachy. Not all Pre-meds are like her, although she is a vocal minority. The more you instigate with personal attacks, the more fuel you give to her agenda. Just let the damn thing die. 👎

Understood.

Is there some way I can block all posts by this woman so I don't see what she says?

 

[ocean11]

Masamune4567 you're hilarious buddy.... so I gather from your posts that if you are a female and happen to have a carrier you 'die alone'.... in other words 'you're lonely/can't get a husband etc..' interesting perspecitive, although completely inaccurate. Look around you buddy.... plenty of female lawyers, doctors, judges, managers, CEO's etc.... with a rich family life and friends and 'gasp' a husband!!!!!!!

If you want a stay at home wife, great!!! just don't complain when she gains a few pounds eating bonbons on the couch watching soaps all day LOL

 

[mi1020]

If I marry my current SO, I am more inclined to keep my maiden name for a slew of reasons. Firstly, it's much shorter and easier to pronounce than his.. Secondly, his last name is very decidedly Indian, whilst I look very East Asian.. thus, for aesthetic reasons, it just doesn't seem to go. Thirdly, and most importantly, he's already pretty sure of himself.. I wouldn't want to fuel his ego and contribute to the problem of there being 2 Dr. B's walking around....!

And I agree with the earlier posts. I am contributing my mtDNA to my children. That is SIGNIFICANT. He should take my last name!