Let's get rid of fairy tales!

[Smilemaker100]

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I think we would benefit all little girls everywhere by doing something in their favor- STOP READING THEM FAIRY TALES!!!! There is no such a thing as a Prince Charming or ONE special man who will love you for the rest of your living days!

When I was a little girl, I used to enjoy all the Grimm fairy tales as well as the Disney adaptations of these stories. Even though the lead female caracters in recent Disney movies are more feisty and in control of their destiny there are always some sort of "Prince Charming" caracters. We are feeding lies to little girls everywhere and indirectly causing them sorrow later in life when there are no Prince Charmings to be found. What are the origins of this sorrow? The subconscious programming of little girls' brains with all these stupid fairy tale stories as well as other forms of "programming" such as certain TV shows, movies and Harlequin novels!

I don't think little girls should have fairy tales read to them...especially those which talk about girls who are saved or swept off their feet by a Prince Charming and live happily ever after- what a bunch of bulls**t! Let's do something positive for all the little girls the world over by throwing away all those fairy tale books and burning them at the stake ! Enough of fairy tales! Enough of lies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 👎 Down with fairy tales! Let's have a dose of reality!

 

[MoosePilot]

There are lots of us who want to be some Princess' Prince Charming 🙁

Of course, we're not as perfect as a storybook character, but are you?

 

[CoffeeMug]

When I was a little girl, I used to enjoy all the Grimm fairy tales as well as the Disney adaptations of these stories.

I still enjoy them. Old Disney cartoons are simply excellent in terms of technical achievement, visual arts, character development, plot, sound, music, and everything else in between. I think the problem is that your parents did a poor job helping you draw the line between fiction and reality. Instead of banning Disney cartoons we should ban crappy parents.

 

[Khenon]

I completely agree with this, and while we're banning I want all romance movies banned. I mean seriously. Is anyone ever, in real life, as in love as those people in the romance movies? NEVER! I hate them so much, I refuse to watch them (and I'm a girl, so I'm "supposed" to like the sappy ****). I have a wonderful fiance, whom I love very much. I want to spend the rest of my life with him, and he supports my pre-med angst 100%. But did he "save" me from anything? No. Did I have to go through 10,000 *ss h*l*s to get to the good one? Yes. When I was younger, I thought all that crap in the movies (Disney and others) was how it was supposed to be. My parents weren't bad, they just didn't sit me down and specifically tell me what love was supposed to be like (hey . . . maybe they don't really know either!). All these fantasies propagate unrealistic views of what love and marriage are supposed to be like. No wonder there's over a 50% divorce rate. People get married, face reality, and get divorced. I know. I know. There's alot of other reasons people get divorced, but I just wanted to show support to this post. Fairy tails are evil!

 

[GeneGoddess]

I was always a fan of the originals (before they were all Disney-fied). The original little mermaid killed herself. The original Cinderella (Ashenputtle) ended up offing her step-mom by drowning her. Lots of fingers were cut off and new brides killed in The Robber Bridegroom. Actually, the latter is one of my favorites...much to my husband's dismay.

I think emphasizing the originals and banning Harliquin romance novels and most feature length sap-o-rama cartoons would be more effective. Or at least add a disclaimer: What you are about to see is sexist BS. If you believe any of this is real, you get what you deserve!

 

[Smilemaker100]

I was always a fan of the originals (before they were all Disney-fied). The original little mermaid killed herself. The original Cinderella (Ashenputtle) ended up offing her step-mom by drowning her. Lots of fingers were cut off and new brides killed in The Robber Bridegroom. Actually, the latter is one of my favorites...much to my husband's dismay.

I think emphasizing the originals and banning Harliquin romance novels and most feature length sap-o-rama cartoons would be more effective. Or at least add a disclaimer: What you are about to see is sexist BS. If you believe any of this is real, you get what you deserve!

Completely agree with you GeneGoddess- we need a dose of reality!!!! You expressed my sentiments exactly!

 

[abraxas20]

so we want to discourage fantasy and imagination???

no chick flicks, but it is ok to watch ben affleck save the world???

are we doing away with Danielle Steele also (which might not be a bad thing, but only because she is a lousy writer)

ah, come on....

 

[k's mom]

You realize that you have just pitted yourself against the entire Disney franchise, and under the articles of the Homeland Security bill, you are automatically added to the federal no-fly list? 😀
Regardless,

Find yourself (and every little girl in your life) a copy of The Practical Princess and other Liberating Fairytales by Jay Williams. Absolutely fabulous book! My mom bought me my copy in 1979, and I still adore it. I'm really disgusted that they have not had a reprinting, but, oh well!

 

[Smilemaker100]

You realize that you have just pitted yourself against the entire Disney franchise, and under the articles of the Homeland Security bill, you are automatically added to the federal no-fly list? 😀
Regardless,

Find yourself (and every little girl in your life) a copy of The Practical Princess and other Liberating Fairytales by Jay Williams. Absolutely fabulous book! My mom bought me my copy in 1979, and I still adore it. I'm really disgusted that they have not had a reprinting, but, oh well!

Yes, DOWN WITH LOVE! Time for REALITY! Because in reality, there isn't such a thing as a man who will be in love with one woman for the rest of his living days...that sort of man is a needle in a haystack! The kind of relationship between Nancy and Ronald Reagan is the type of relationship I want...completely devoted through the good and bad- that is VERY VERY hard to find. I know from experience. As soon as I need a sympathetic ear, the boy usually bids me farewell...it takes luck to have a Nancy-Ronald type of relationship...it's that or nothing for me even if it means I remain an old maid!

It's during the bad times that you know who really cares for you...most people (friends and boy/girlfriends) are usually around only when times are good. True friends and true loves stick through with you through the good AND the bad.

 

[Smilemaker100]

so we want to discourage fantasy and imagination???

no chick flicks, but it is ok to watch ben affleck save the world???

are we doing away with Danielle Steele also (which might not be a bad thing, but only because she is a lousy writer)

ah, come on....

Not exactly, but it's about time that we fabricated different types of stories for little girls...enough of the princesses meeting their Prince Charmings and living happily ever after!!!!!

 

[gildas]

I think we would benefit all little girls everywhere by doing something in their favor- STOP READING THEM FAIRY TALES!!!! There is no such a thing as a Prince Charming or ONE special man who will love you for the rest of your living days!

When I was a little girl, I used to enjoy all the Grimm fairy tales as well as the Disney adaptations of these stories. Even though the lead female caracters in recent Disney movies are more feisty and in control of their destiny there are always some sort of "Prince Charming" caracters. We are feeding lies to little girls everywhere and indirectly causing them sorrow later in life when there are no Prince Charmings to be found. What are the origins of this sorrow? The subconscious programming of little girls' brains with all these stupid fairy tale stories as well as other forms of "programming" such as certain TV shows, movies and Harlequin novels!

I don't think little girls should have fairy tales read to them...especially those which talk about girls who are saved or swept off their feet by a Prince Charming and live happily ever after- what a bunch of bulls**t! Let's do something positive for all the little girls the world over by throwing away all those fairy tale books and burning them at the stake ! Enough of fairy tales! Enough of lies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 👎 Down with fairy tales! Let's have a dose of reality!

I am a Prince Charming! No I am dead serious 😍

 

[abraxas20]

Not exactly, but it's about time that we fabricated different types of stories for little girls...enough of the princesses meeting their Prince Charmings and living happily ever after!!!!!

But without these stories, little boys will lack a model by which they can become Prince Charming. There is a downside, plus we would lose an extraordinary body of historic literature.

Perhaps it is a better idea to allow people to teach their children while including stories like these.

 

[alison_in_oh]

Yes, DOWN WITH LOVE! Time for REALITY! Because in reality, there isn't such a thing as a man who will be in love with one woman for the rest of his living days...that sort of man is a needle in a haystack! The kind of relationship between Nancy and Ronald Reagan is the type of relationship I want...completely devoted through the good and bad- that is VERY VERY hard to find. I know from experience. As soon as I need a sympathetic ear, the boy usually bids me farewell...it takes luck to have a Nancy-Ronald type of relationship...it's that or nothing for me even if it means I remain an old maid!

It's during the bad times that you know who really cares for you...most people (friends and boy/girlfriends) are usually around only when times are good. True friends and true loves stick through with you through the good AND the bad.

Pfffttht. Nobody likes a fair-weather friend, romantic relationship or no. It's not love if it isn't at least lurking during the bad times. Every successful couple I know has been through at least a couple of rough patches.

Love is reality. Happy endings exist. 🙂

ADDENDUM: From my friend Bill Shakespeare in his Sonnet 116:

"Let me not to the marriage of true minds
Admit impediments; love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds,
Or bends with the remover to remove.
Oh, no, it is an ever fixed mark
That looks on tempests and is never shaken;
It is the star to every wand'ring bark,
Whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken.
Love's not Time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks
Within his bending sickle's compass come;
Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,
But bears it out even to the edge of Doom.

If this be error and upon me proved,
I never writ, nor no man ever loved."

 

[2DEG]

I have a 3 year old daughter who loves disney stuff. And actually, because of her I end up watching a movie or read a book to her. And honestly, I like it too.

I would think that at least by the time you start college, you would figure out the difference between fairy tale and real life. While I think parents should guide their children, the children at 18 or older can and should be able to figure out the difference by themselves.

I still enjoy them. Old Disney cartoons are simply excellent in terms of technical achievement, visual arts, character development, plot, sound, music, and everything else in between. I think the problem is that your parents did a poor job helping you draw the line between fiction and reality. Instead of banning Disney cartoons we should ban crappy parents.

 

[CoffeeMug]

While I think parents should guide their children, the children at 18 or older can and should be able to figure out the difference by themselves.

Yes, but if they can't and live in lala land where they can whine about looooveeee and theee oneeeee until they're 25, I'd say parents did a crappy job. Stuff like this (which IMO isn't too far away from anarexia idiocy) just screams bad parenting. Evidently the kid has never done sports, read all the wrong books, and had crappy guidance overall.

 

[nachoDoc]

I don't think little girls should have fairy tales read to them...especially those which talk about girls who are saved or swept off their feet by a Prince Charming and live happily ever after- what a bunch of bulls**t! Let's do something positive for all the little girls the world over by throwing away all those fairy tale books and burning them at the stake ! Enough of fairy tales! Enough of lies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 👎 Down with fairy tales! Let's have a dose of reality!

I'm sorry you haven't found him yet, but he is out there. Yes, they are rare, like flawless diamonds, but they do exist. The funny thing about love is the harder you look for it, the more elusive it becomes. As far as reading fairy tales to little girls and boys, you may not have to worry about that. Your bitterness and frustration will only make you hurt more and hurt those that you think you are helping.
Truly sad.

🙁

 

[dancinjenn]

I completly agree!!! But I don't think you are going far enough.

Barbie and Ken have to go...no one looks that good, has all those cars, that big a house...and let's not forget about the body image she sends....

All movies that deal with love have to go...I mean it's not real...people don't fall in love and get married and stay married for more than 5 years...

In fact now that I think about it...I don't like anything that isn't realistic!!! I think we have to include games like Candy Land...there really isn't a place like that!! And The Wizard of Oz!!!Come on who ever heard of talking scarecrows and tinmen? What about wicked witches??? Those aren't real...let's can those too! Of course, anything that has to do with space travel or aliens...those aren't real either!!!

😱 😱 😱 I almost forgot about books...let's start the bonfire!!! I can't believe that publishers would let things be published about wizard schools, big red dogs, care bears, strawberry shortcake, etc etc...

I'm sorry all this talk has made me realize that my children should have NOTHING that is not realistic what-so-ever! I can't have my children be imaginative or creative! Hey while we are at it let's can Santa, the Easter Bunny and Cupid!!! They need to be indoctorinated in to the world as soon as possible! They need to understand how much it sucks!!! Let's make sure that they understand that nothing can ever be fun or fanciful. I agree, let's start now!

 

[PsychMD]

http://www.findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m2386/is_1999_Annual/ai_55983680

 

[irlandesa]

I was always a fan of the originals (before they were all Disney-fied). The original little mermaid killed herself. The original Cinderella (Ashenputtle) ended up offing her step-mom by drowning her. Lots of fingers were cut off and new brides killed in The Robber Bridegroom. Actually, the latter is one of my favorites...much to my husband's dismay.

I think emphasizing the originals and banning Harliquin romance novels and most feature length sap-o-rama cartoons would be more effective. Or at least add a disclaimer: What you are about to see is sexist BS. If you believe any of this is real, you get what you deserve!

must not forget the Grimm Brothers' original version of Cinderella where crows poked out the eyes of the evil stepsisters; talk about a revenge fantasy! As far as movies go, Shrek is charming and makes sure to give a dose of reality; though kids might not get some of the jokes. Plenty of good fairy tales out there that don't involve cheesy portrayals of perfect male-female relationships.

Also, LOVE the Shakespeare sonnet posted; I think that's my favorite one of all time.

 

[Smilemaker100]

Pfffttht. Nobody likes a fair-weather friend, romantic relationship or no. It's not love if it isn't at least lurking during the bad times. Every successful couple I know has been through at least a couple of rough patches.

Love is reality. Happy endings exist. 🙂

ADDENDUM: From my friend Bill Shakespeare in his Sonnet 116:

"Let me not to the marriage of true minds
Admit impediments; love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds,
Or bends with the remover to remove.
Oh, no, it is an ever fixed mark
That looks on tempests and is never shaken;
It is the star to every wand'ring bark,
Whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken.
Love's not Time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks
Within his bending sickle's compass come;
Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,
But bears it out even to the edge of Doom.

If this be error and upon me proved,
I never writ, nor no man ever loved."

I am a big fan of THE best barb of all time aka Shakespeare. Although, there is some speculation that he may have borrowed a lot from his contemporary Italian playwrights. I own his completed works ( play and sonnets). I used to attend "Shakespeare in the Park" shows during the summer seasons back home . I personally also like what Kahlil Gibran says about love in his internationally reknown classic poetic work "The Prophet":

"When love beckons to you, follow him,
Though his ways are hard and steep.
And when his wings enfold you yield to him,
Though the sword hidden among his pinions may wound you.
And when he speaks to you believe in him,
Though his voice may shatter your dreams as the north wind lays waste the garden.
FOR EVEN AS LOVE CROWNS YOU SO SHALL HE CRUCIFY YOU. Even as he is for your growth so is he for your pruning.
Even as he ascends to your height and caresses your tenderest branches that quiver in the sun,
So shall he descend to your roots and shake them in their clinging to the earth.
Like sheaves of corn he gathers you unto himself.
He threshes you to make you naked.
He sifts you to free you from your husks.
He grinds you to whiteness.
He kneads you until you are pliant;
And then he assigns you to his sacred fire, that you may become sacred bread for God's sacred feast.
All these things shall love do unto you that you may know the secrets of your heart, and in that knowledge become a fragment of Life's heart.
But if in your fear you would seek only love's peace and love's pleasure,
Then it is better for you that you cover your nakedness and pass out of love's threshing-floor,
Into the seasonless world where you shall laugh, but not all of your laughter, and weep, but not all of your tears.
Love gives naught but itself and takes naught but from itself.
LOVE POSSSESES NOT NOR WOULD IT BE POSSESSED;
For love is sufficient unto love.
When you love you should not say, "God is in my heart," but rather, "I am in the heart of God."
AND THINK NOT YOU CAN DIRECT THE COURSE OF LOVE, FOR LOVE, IF IT FINDS YOU WORTHY, DIRECTS YOUR COURSE.
Love has no other desire but to fulfil itself.
(the following is my favorite part) But if you love and must needs have desires, let these be your desires:
To melt and be like a running brook that sings its melody at night.
To know the pain of too much tenderness.
To be wounded by your own understanding of love;
And to bleed willingly and joyfully.
To wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving;
To rest at the noon hour and meditate love's ecstasy;
To return home at eventide with gratitude;
And then to sleep with a prayer for the beloved in your heart and a song of praise upon your lips. 😍

 

[Smilemaker100]

I am a Prince Charming! No I am dead serious 😍

And I am a princess 😉

 

[nachoDoc]

And I am a princess 😉

Actually, I believe you are!
I've read your emotional poems which are really good :
"In your tight embrace, I saw the stars dancing above.
My heart leaped and the music of your heart muffled the words I could not speak.
My first kiss has chased my childhood away..."
and I feel the emotions in your postings.
"Well, whoever the ONE is (if that is in my destiny), he'll be lavished with love poems and love letters continuously because I am a hopeless romantic...and many other little things...because every day is a treasure and every day must be celebrated and one must tell their loved ones they love them every day. But I don't think there are many men who appreciate those little things anymore...which is why I haven't met the ONE yet- those type are a rarity - a needle in a haystack."

You just haven't been treated like one, that's all and haven't met your perfect one yet.
Too many damn frogs!
😀
👍 👍

 

[Tiagao]

😕 I must say this a very interesting thread!. I think that everyone wants to find the Prince or Princess, as was my case. Met my wife in April of 2000 was engaged in May and married in July of that year. We are expecting our 3rd child and I believe we are living happily ever after. 😍

It has been written that there are good times and bad times, but just think of every "frog" as one less that you have to weed out to get your Prince.

Keep on smilin' because he's out there somewhere and when you find him, he'll make the movie-made princes seem like frogs themselves.

 

[LADoc00]

Holy **** smilermaker and I thought I was bitter! You need to belly up to Prozac bar and wash that down with 3 stiff martinis.


Lighten up...

 

[jennie 21]

Yes, DOWN WITH LOVE! Time for REALITY! Because in reality, there isn't such a thing as a man who will be in love with one woman for the rest of his living days...that sort of man is a needle in a haystack! The kind of relationship between Nancy and Ronald Reagan is the type of relationship I want...completely devoted through the good and bad- that is VERY VERY hard to find. I know from experience. As soon as I need a sympathetic ear, the boy usually bids me farewell...it takes luck to have a Nancy-Ronald type of relationship...it's that or nothing for me even if it means I remain an old maid!

It's during the bad times that you know who really cares for you...most people (friends and boy/girlfriends) are usually around only when times are good. True friends and true loves stick through with you through the good AND the bad.

Yes, there are men like this out there. And there is real love out there too. I know, because I found it. No, every day isn't exactly like a fairy tale...but it's my own real-life fairy tale, and that's the best part.

Love isn't easy, as the poem by Kahlil Gibran suggests. If you stick it out, it will teach you a lot about yourself, including some things you'd rather not know.

Real love is about being there for each other in good times and in bad, knowing each other through and through, and loving each other through it all. It's about having a companion, a partner, someone who you respect with whom to share the journey and keep company. It's about supporting each other's dreams. It's not about changing each other or expecting the other person to save you. In that sense, there is no "Prince Charming"; nobody can save you from your own problems or shortcomings.

Real love does exist. It is out there. Don't get bitter.

 

[Smilemaker100]

Actually, I believe you are!
I've read your emotional poems which are really good :
"In your tight embrace, I saw the stars dancing above.
My heart leaped and the music of your heart muffled the words I could not speak.
My first kiss has chased my childhood away..."
and I feel the emotions in your postings.
"Well, whoever the ONE is (if that is in my destiny), he'll be lavished with love poems and love letters continuously because I am a hopeless romantic...and many other little things...because every day is a treasure and every day must be celebrated and one must tell their loved ones they love them every day. But I don't think there are many men who appreciate those little things anymore...which is why I haven't met the ONE yet- those type are a rarity - a needle in a haystack."

You just haven't been treated like one, that's all and haven't met your perfect one yet.
Too many damn frogs!
😀
👍 👍

Thanks for the compliments...at least SOMEONE has appreciated it!

Yes, I am a hopeless romantic...the key word is ROMANCE ...most men are lousy at it. They think that by simply saying "I love you" they are being romantic enough but it isn't - some men can say that straight into a woman's eyes without meaning a word of it just to get her in the sack.

 

[Smilemaker100]

Holy **** smilermaker and I thought I was bitter! You need to belly up to Prozac bar and wash that down with 3 stiff martinis.


Lighten up...

I am not bitter , I just have low expectations from men these days or maybe I just have high standards. There are few men who have impressed me with their chivalry. Is chivalry dead? Maybe I am too feminine in the sense that I am being passive and should be more aggressive. The wounds are too deep for me to make any "gestures" or "moves".

 

[Smilemaker100]

Yes, there are men like this out there. And there is real love out there too. I know, because I found it. No, every day isn't exactly like a fairy tale...but it's my own real-life fairy tale, and that's the best part.

Love isn't easy, as the poem by Kahlil Gibran suggests. If you stick it out, it will teach you a lot about yourself, including some things you'd rather not know.

Real love is about being there for each other in good times and in bad, knowing each other through and through, and loving each other through it all. It's about having a companion, a partner, someone who you respect with whom to share the journey and keep company. It's about supporting each other's dreams. It's not about changing each other or expecting the other person to save you. In that sense, there is no "Prince Charming"; nobody can save you from your own problems or shortcomings.

Real love does exist. It is out there. Don't get bitter.[/
QUOTE]

My sentiments exactly.

 

[PsychMD]

Met my wife in April of 2000 was engaged in May and married in July of that year. We are expecting our 3rd child and I believe we are living happily ever after.

3 children in 4 years? No offense meant, however...are you SURE that your wife is just as blissful as you seem to be?!

 

[nachoDoc]

Thanks for the compliments...at least SOMEONE has appreciated it!

Yes, I am a hopeless romantic...the key word is ROMANCE ...most men are lousy at it. They think that by simply saying "I love you" they are being romantic enough but it isn't - some men can say that straight into a woman's eyes without meaning a word of it just to get her in the sack.

You're welcome and yes I agree completely. And I admit that in my past, I was guilty of saying that. Too many guys still do. It was all about Me Me Me!!!! Well, it took a long time to realize it's all about being sensitive to her her her because that made me me me so much happier in the end. Too bad so many guys don't get this. I became a hopeless romantic too. I hope you find someone that gives you all that you desire as I have. There really is your perfect mate out there. 👍 👍

 

[Tiagao]

3 children in 4 years? No offense meant, however...are you SURE that your wife is just as blissful as you seem to be?!

That's a good question. Both my wife and I are from fairly large families. When we got married, we thought that it would be nice to have about 5 kids. After the second I was ready to take them one at a time, but she is still wants at least five. She loves being a mom and honestly feels that the best thing she can do in her life is be the best one in the world. I can't agree with her more. I mean, a lot of people say that a woman has to get out and work outside of the home to be a benefit to society, but I disagree.

My wife has her degree and the only differences between her and a teacher at the local elementary school is that she loves her students more, doesn't get a salary or weekends off, and her class never graduates. Sometimes I forget how special a woman she truly is. Thanks for reminding me! 🙂

 

[Smilemaker100]

You're welcome and yes I agree completely. And I admit that in my past, I was guilty of saying that. Too many guys still do. It was all about Me Me Me!!!! Well, it took a long time to realize it's all about being sensitive to her her her because that made me me me so much happier in the end. Too bad so many guys don't get this. I became a hopeless romantic too. I hope you find someone that gives you all that you desire as I have. There really is your perfect mate out there. 👍 👍

Making someone else happy automatically makes me happy 😀 Maybe trying to please everyone is a "fault" of mine- sort of like a child always trying to seek the approval of his/her parents. But it's the only way that makes sense to me because when you are in a happy environment, the days go smoother and little troubles don't weigh you down as much. 😀

 

[alison_in_oh]

That's a good question. Both my wife and I are from fairly large families. When we got married, we thought that it would be nice to have about 5 kids. After the second I was ready to take them one at a time, but she is still wants at least five. She loves being a mom and honestly feels that the best thing she can do in her life is be the best one in the world. I can't agree with her more. I mean, a lot of people say that a woman has to get out and work outside of the home to be a benefit to society, but I disagree.

My wife has her degree and the only differences between her and a teacher at the local elementary school is that she loves her students more, doesn't get a salary or weekends off, and her class never graduates. Sometimes I forget how special a woman she truly is. Thanks for reminding me! 🙂

Out of curiosity, since y'all have the desire, love, money and space for a large family, have you considered adoption?

 

[Tiagao]

Out of curiosity, since y'all have the desire, love, money and space for a large family, have you considered adoption?

We have considered it, yes. At this point the jury is still out, but we both believe that it would be a wonderful thing. After all, there are a lot of children that need a solid family life.

 

[alison_in_oh]

We have considered it, yes. At this point the jury is still out, but we both believe that it would be a wonderful thing. After all, there are a lot of children that need a solid family life.

Cool. 🙂

 

[MoosePilot]

Out of curiosity, since y'all have the desire, love, money and space for a large family, have you considered adoption?

It bothers me in a way that people who want to have a large family are questioned about why they're not adopting. Adoption is outstanding, but having a large family of your genetic descendants is a valid desire, too.

Alison, you said it was just curiosity, so I'm not directing this at you, but your question made me think of people I know that do think this way.

 

[alison_in_oh]

It bothers me in a way that people who want to have a large family are questioned about why they're not adopting. Adoption is outstanding, but having a large family of your genetic descendants is a valid desire, too.

Alison, you said it was just curiosity, so I'm not directing this at you, but your question made me think of people I know that do think this way.

Yep, I'm simply curious if people who desire large families have considered and rejected adoption or if they just hadn't really thought about the less intuitive ways to acquire that passel of young ones to raise, love, shape, mold and guide. 🙂 Either way, it's your family, your life -- your choice. 😉

 

[podarski]

From the sounds of things a lot of people here are a little bitter about past relationships. Honestly who says the chance of finding some guy who will love you and only you dosn't exist anymore? I'll give you a hint don't go looking for your next partner in a bar or a club and you might just get one who will stick around.

 

[nachoDoc]

From the sounds of things a lot of people here are a little bitter about past relationships. Honestly who says the chance of finding some guy who will love you and only you dosn't exist anymore? I'll give you a hint don't go looking for your next partner in a bar or a club and you might just get one who will stick around.

Still a lot of frogs out there.



But every now and then....

😉
(waits for you know who to rebutt)

 

[Smilemaker100]

From the sounds of things a lot of people here are a little bitter about past relationships. Honestly who says the chance of finding some guy who will love you and only you dosn't exist anymore? I'll give you a hint don't go looking for your next partner in a bar or a club and you might just get one who will stick around.

I think the problem is that the view on monogamy is different according to your gender. Women have a tendency to want to be monogamous whereas men want to spread around their "seed". Most men make me sick . I don't believe in them anymore...the only ones I believe in are far and few in between- namely my dad, brothers and a few platonic male friends. For the most part, men don't know what true love is- they think with the wrong "head"...

A lot of men I have come across are Don Juans...fortunately, I never really got too involved with them and I think they were disappointed...it's their punishment. Justice was served. Some men fool around and cheat. One day they come across someone that for the first time they feel genuinely in love with ...someone that they want to be become better people for but then they realize that the woman is unattainable and has a certain amount of self-dignity that most women they have met don't have...and then they live a life in inferno because this woman that they desire so much leaves their lives as quickly as they arrrived...leaving a painful mark forever...My last boyfriend was one of them. I didn't want to hurt him but even though he wanted to be puritanical and good to me, he deceived me so much that I didn't believe or trust him anymore. Once the trust is gone , there is pretty much no point in having a relationship with someone.

 

[podarski]

I think the problem is that the view on monogamy is different according to your gender. Women have a tendency to want to be monogamous whereas men want to spread around their "seed". Most men make me sick . I don't believe in them anymore...the only ones I believe in are far and few in between- namely my dad, brothers and a few platonic male friends. For the most part, men don't know what true love is- they think with the wrong "head"...

A lot of men I have come across are Don Juans...fortunately, I never really got too involved with them and I think they were disappointed...it's their punishment. Justice was served. Some men fool around and cheat. One day they come across someone that for the first time they feel genuinely in love with ...someone that they want to be become better people for but then they realize that the woman is unattainable and has a certain amount of self-dignity that most women they have met don't have...and then they live a life in inferno because this woman that they desire so much leaves their lives as quickly as they arrrived...leaving a painful mark forever...My last boyfriend was one of them. I didn't want to hurt him but even though he wanted to be puritanical and good to me, he deceived me so much that I didn't believe or trust him anymore. Once the trust is gone , there is pretty much no point in having a relationship with someone.

I think the guys where you are at are a lot different than the guys where I live. Not to many spread there seed around here, and a whole lot less do once they are married. Don't give up hope there are plenty of good guys out there you just have to know where to look. People spend so much time focusing on the bad in the world they don't realize how much good there really is.

As far as adultery I definatley think it should be like back in the days where it's a crime (I should say enforced since it's still against the law in most states) If they do it throw in jail. If you aren't happy with your spouse and just can't make it work get a divorce and then go looking not the other way around.

 

[alison_in_oh]

I think the problem is that the view on monogamy is different according to your gender. Women have a tendency to want to be monogamous whereas men want to spread around their "seed". Most men make me sick . I don't believe in them anymore...the only ones I believe in are far and few in between- namely my dad, brothers and a few platonic male friends. For the most part, men don't know what true love is- they think with the wrong "head"...

Yeah, that's a gigantic misperception if I've ever seen one. Painting any gender with a broad brush is a Very Bad Idea. Just sayin'. The feminist in me is every bit as infuriated by overgeneralizations about men as about overgeneralizations about women -- who, of course, are only interested in money and power (now where have I heard that lately?) 🙁

EDIT: I should note that most of the (healthy, stable) polygamous relationships I know of have more men involved than women, eg. one woman with several lovers. How does that fit into your genders and monogamy viewpoint?

Once the trust is gone , there is pretty much no point in having a relationship with someone.

That I can agree with. But the real tragedy is when the trust is never there to begin with.

 

[jennie 21]

Smilemaker, I hope you won't take this the wrong way. But it seems like you have a lot of issues with men and trust and perhaps this board isn't the best forum for dealing with them. Have you considered seeing a counselor or psychiatrist? You don't have to be "sick" or mentally ill to benefit from it, plenty of normal people who are just having some issues in their lives find it helpful to talk to someone objective. I think you might find it really beneficial. Again, please don't be offended. I've had counseling at various points in my life and found it really helpful for getting over some of the inevitable speedbumps in the road that we all hit at one time or another.

 

[nachoDoc]

But the real tragedy is when the trust is never there to begin with.

"The moment you take love for granted is the begining of the end" and if there was no trust to begin with, it was a relationship built on quicksand.

( heh heh heh I knew it!!!!)



🙂

 

[myfavred]

If we getrid of the fairy tales, Disney will have to close down Fantasy Land at Magic Kingdom. Because if they won't, then the kids will ask who was cinderella. Disney will also have to change the castle to something else. Because Disney will have to go through all these renovations they will pay their workers even less 🙁 also those who live in the Orlando area and sell disney stuff at their gift shops will have to get rid of all the stuff showing the castle 😱 .

Also at the time of halloween costume shops won't be able to sell traditional costumes. They may have to get rid of the fairy tales ones they have already made. They will lose money.

Do you have any idea how big of a financial burden this would be. Our economy is alreayd going down 👎
We should keep the fairy tales so people can make money. Please don't get rid of them.

Thank you

 

[alison_in_oh]

( heh heh heh I knew it!!!!)

What did you knew, you?

 

[nachoDoc]

What did you knew, you?

See!!!
😀