Live at school or at home?

[acarolina]

Hi all, I'm an incoming M1 with a question about housing. I will be attending an expensive NE medical school in a big city, and I'm unsure of whether it would be better to live at home or in a house close to campus. Just to set the scene, both places are huge and I'd have my own room, bathroom, etc. in both places.

Pros of being close to campus include: Convenient location (3 mins walking distance to school and hospital), living with other M1s (if we end up getting along)

Cons of being close to campus include: Living with other M1s (if we end up not getting along, would be living with 3 other people doing the exact same thing with similar schedules which could be stressful), costs $1500 per month

Pros of living at home: Don't have risk living with random M1s (if we don't get along or one of them isn't nice, etc. it could lead to an uncomfortable living situation), save $1500 per month

Cons of living at home: Have to commute to school on the days I have labs, etc. to attend (we have optional lectures)...if I do attend lectures, though, the commute accounting for traffic is 1 hour, would be living with parents (my dad and I argue over stupid things sometimes and he's in general not a super upbeat person so sometimes gets hard to be around, but my mom and I get along great), could get lonely being away from classmates (?)

This is a difficult decision for me to make because I don't know which situation will be better for me personally and academically (money is important but ultimately I want to do what's best for me). But financially, living at home would save $18,000 per academic year, and I will already be in minimum $245,000 of debt (accounts for everything but housing). So, I was thinking I have three options:

1) Live at school for M1, then make a decision for M2, M3, and M4 based on how the first year goes (for several reasons it would be easier to go from living at school for M1 to living at home for M2 than vice versa)
2) Live at home for M1
3) Live at school for M1 and M2, and at home for M3 and M4 (or a combination like that)

Would anyone have any experience or advice they would be willing to share? Sorry for the long post, and thanks very much in advance!

(As a somewhat related question, does each $1 you take in loans actually amount to $3 you have to pay back? Because $18k is a lot per year by itself, but paying back $54k per year for housing is a hell of a lot more)

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[bannie22]

I think living with a roomate could be fun.
Start it early. and if it doesnt work out you can always move back home for m2 year. its harder to find a roomate in the middle of the degree.

 

[Redpancreas]

Hi all, I'm an incoming M1 with a question about housing. I will be attending an expensive NE medical school in a big city, and I'm unsure of whether it would be better to live at home or in a house close to campus. Just to set the scene, both places are huge and I'd have my own room, bathroom, etc. in both places.

Pros of being close to campus include: Convenient location (3 mins walking distance to school and hospital), living with other M1s (if we end up getting along)

Cons of being close to campus include: Living with other M1s (if we end up not getting along, would be living with 3 other people doing the exact same thing with similar schedules which could be stressful), costs $1500 per month

Pros of living at home: Don't have risk living with random M1s (if we don't get along or one of them isn't nice, etc. it could lead to an uncomfortable living situation), save $1500 per month

Cons of living at home: Have to commute to school on the days I have labs, etc. to attend (we have optional lectures)...if I do attend lectures, though, the commute accounting for traffic is 1 hour, would be living with parents (my dad and I argue over stupid things sometimes and he's in general not a super upbeat person so sometimes gets hard to be around, but my mom and I get along great), could get lonely being away from classmates (?)

This is a difficult decision for me to make because I don't know which situation will be better for me personally and academically (money is important but ultimately I want to do what's best for me). But financially, living at home would save $18,000 per academic year, and I will already be in minimum $245,000 of debt (accounts for everything but housing). So, I was thinking I have three options:

1) Live at school for M1, then make a decision for M2, M3, and M4 based on how the first year goes (for several reasons it would be easier to go from living at school for M1 to living at home for M2 than vice versa)
2) Live at home for M1
3) Live at school for M1 and M2, and at home for M3 and M4 (or a combination like that)

Would anyone have any experience or advice they would be willing to share? Sorry for the long post, and thanks very much in advance!

(As a somewhat related question, does each $1 you take in loans actually amount to $3 you have to pay back? Because $18k is a lot per year by itself, but paying back $54k per year for housing is a hell of a lot more)

Live at home. Circumstantial evidence but all my friends who live at home do better than me (could be because they're more efficient with their time just like they are with their money). Also, circumstantial evidence is that the only shelf I honored was the one I spent a month at home doing rotations at a different site from. Scored the second highest in the class. It was a very nice setting and while my parents argue a lot and cause drama, and it's annoying, they're the best people in the world for me. Point is academically I felt better at home and 72K is just a bonus. There's no advantage to being at school after hours because it's not like college where professors have office hours (some may - but concepts aren't too difficult in medical school and there are Blackboard/other forums professors are more active on.)

The only benefit is about 2 hrs of time each day (with traffic, do what everyone at my school does and study at school for 1-2 hrs till traffic dies down) and then go home.

 

[HopefulEMed]

It's such a personal decision. I spent the first three years living by myself. And currently living with my parents. Looking back, I wish I had spent my first three years living at home. My parents and I are much closer and honestly, I love spending time with them. I moved out when I was 18 and it's much different now that I am a 26-year old. And I also realise that I won't get to spend as much time with them, come residency. Another factor was the money. I wanted to save-up at least 7000-8000 of my loan money for moving expenses and Europe trip come May. Given that I will be mostly traveling for interviews and away rotations, it just made the most sense. It's also really nice to spend my M4 year cooking with my mom and gardening with my dad.

 

[acarolina]

Thanks everyone for the responses! It's really helping me think through the decision

@step1almostdone The only reason for me to live at school would be for the same reason you did, for the social aspect. It's reassuring to hear, though, that people living at home were still able to meet the same amount of people, make friends, etc. because I am seriously worried about having a similar experience with my potential roommates as you had with yours. My commute time would be 20 minutes if there isn't traffic and 1 hour if there is, but I could easily avoid traffic if I streamed lectures from home. Problem is, I don't know what I would prefer to do (stream or attend lectures) because while I do like attending lectures in general to be there in person, the social aspect of it, etc. I think my attention will dwindle after the first two hours of lecture and at that point it might make more sense for me to stay home and stream so I can go at my own pace and pause the video for notes, etc. (?) I think you and @bannie22 are right, the best decision might be to live at school for M1 and then decide what to do for M2, but the problem for me is that is the house is unfurnished so I would have to drop a few thousand on furnishing the house, my room, etc. which would then be a waste if I decide to move out M2. Would any of this change what you'd advise, @step1almostdone?

@Backtothebasics8 Do you feel like the 2 hours, or, say, 1 hour, that you spend in the car instead of doing whatever else you would be doing has a big impact on your day (or is an inconvenience)? And my parents argue between themselves and with me sometimes too, and it always affects my mood...did you find that it being at home ever made you less focused or efficient (either because they argued and it was annoying or because you spend too much time talking to them, etc.)? I went home some weekends in undergrad and loved it because of all the support around and not having to do things like cook, etc. but as you can tell I'm having a hard time deciding whether to do it for med school. But I'm glad you had such a good experience and crushed that shelf!

@HopefulEMed I do think no matter where I live for M1 I will definitely live at home for M4 just because, like you said, it's going to be (hopefully) full of interviews, etc. so you won't be around at home most of the time anyways (no reason to pay for housing when you could instead go on a Euro trip!). Good luck with M4 year!

 

[DropMets]

This is obviously only personal opinion coming from life experiences, and others may disagree, but it's time to leave the nest and get on with it.

Yes, more expensive, but you'll pay it off. Do you really want to live at home again? We all get crushed by loans. Go be with your adult colleagues. You have time to do laundry and cook and whatnot. If you don't, this will give you good life skills and management lessons.

Plus...as someone who was a parent similar to your dad, you may end up really angry and resentful, and they may as well. Medical school doesn't bring out the best in others. If you have people around the house that will be negative...you will be miserable at certain points, and it can strain your relationship with them.


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[Stagg737]

The one big thing you mentioned that would kill the living at home situation for me would be a 1 hour commute. There's a lot to be said for saving the 20k+ if you lived at home (I'm assuming your parents would also pay for food, utilities, laundry, etc), but having to drive an hour to get to campus would just be too far for me. I'd live near campus first year, you can always change your mind and commute for the last 3 years if that's what you really want to do.

 

[Tsunnami]

I know that you're analyzing this from all possible angles and you want to get a 100% accurate conclusion, but I'm going to tell you this : it's a risk no matter what you do.

When there are so many cons and pros and undetermined variables, you can only decide which risk you want to take, but you cannot get a guarantee in any of those cases.
You might not know this yet, but one of the thrills of life is that often times there are no guarantees : whether it's about choosing a specialty, getting married, not getting married, traveling abroad, not traveling abroad, having kids, not having kids, starting a business, etc. - it's all a risk.
You've got to only decide which risk you want to take.

 

[Tenk]

100% live at home. $72k with interest accruing is nothing to scoff at. Anyone who says otherwise has prolly never paid off that much money in loans before. Trust me. It hurts. Bad.

 

[Donald Juan]

100% live near campus. 1 hour commute is horrible, you may find you want to go to campus more often than you currently plan, and if you're an hour away from school you won't be part of any social scene. If you decide after M1 year you hate your classmates and your roommates and you never want to be on campus, then move in with your parents starting M2.

 

[y123]

Live at home. You can always come to school earlier or leave later in non-rush hours to avoid traffic and use the extra time to study in the library.

 

[grapefruit17]

If you are really saving 1500 a month by living at home then I would for sure do that. I would have took one hour out of my sleep every day for 1500 a month. Even a 1000 a month. Plus you can stay at school and study. The commute sucks, but think long term. Just make it through your classes anyways, id rather be a low B student who has 200k debt then an A student with 260k debt.

 

[precisiongraphic]

I would live at home the first year and then re-evaluate for M2. So many people have bad experiences picking a roommate from Craigslist or a school list. You might end up with a good roommate situation or bad. A really bad roommate could hurt you academically during M1.

During M1 year, see if there is someone that might be a good roommate for M2. Oftentimes, best friends aren't the best roommates but someone who has the same life philosophy towards studying, socializing etc might be a good match. 20 minutes is a good commute. An hour might be long but you could listen to notes/lectures or use it as relaxing time so it's not a total waste.

 

[acarolina]

Thanks so much for all of the advice you all have given, you have all been such great help.

In my original post I didn't include that I'm the type of person who studies a lot and I have to study alone (because I need silence and I have to be alone to concentrate), I would be streaming lectures, and other than studying I exercise (alone at home, since I have my own set up) and go to yoga classes. Friday and Saturday evenings are the only time I go out with friends. This would lead me to the conclusion that socially it wouldn't matter whether I lived at home or at school?

And @Tsunnami's post rang true. So I think the best I can do with this decision is maximize what matters most to me: A comfortable studying environment (minimizing conflict, noise, and maximizing good relations with the people I am living with), having emotional support (someone to talk to when things get hard, and someone to bother when I take my 5 minute study breaks), minimizing stressors (cooking, cleaning, and the such), and convenience.

Since...

Living at home advantages: Emotional support (someone to bother for 5 minutes when I’m taking a study break or talk to during a meal), reduces stressors (minimizes cooking and cleaning), isolation from classmates (I won’t be preoccupied with what other people are doing with their time all day or how other people are studying, etc.)

Living at home disadvantages: Commute (will be in a car for 45 minutes to 1 hour 2 to 3 times a week), isolation from classmates (and classmates are the only people who understand what you’re going through)

Living at school advantages: Being close to campus (3 minute walk to campus), surrounded by classmates

Living at school disadvantages: No way of knowing how my relationships with my roommates will be, rent and utilities would run me $1800 per month (!!!)

...the best option seems to be to live at home (?) Or live at school for M1 and M2 and then at home for M3 and M4 (while moving back home would be really difficult, no matter where I lived I don't think I would be home much for these years since I'd be so busy anyway?).

 

[acarolina]

100% live at home. $72k with interest accruing is nothing to scoff at. Anyone who says otherwise has prolly never paid off that much money in loans before. Trust me. It hurts. Bad.

If you are really saving 1500 a month by living at home then I would for sure do that. I would have took one hour out of my sleep every day for 1500 a month. Even a 1000 a month. Plus you can stay at school and study. The commute sucks, but think long term. Just make it through your classes anyways, id rather be a low B student who has 200k debt then an A student with 260k debt.

The agent emailed me the other day saying rent will be $1800 per person per month instead of the $1500 she said it would likely be...so now it's even more expensive! Hooray! But @grapefruit17 I can't study in the library at school, so I wouldn't be able to just stay at school and study. I would rather dish out more money for housing than sacrifice academic performance, because in the long run it'll cost me more (in terms of money and personally) if I do worse on Step than it would to pay for housing no? I just wish I knew what was the better place for me to live academically and personally, there's just so many factors to consider.

 

[aalamruad]

Thanks so much for all of the advice you all have given, you have all been such great help.

In my original post I didn't include that I'm the type of person who studies a lot and I have to study alone (because I need silence and I have to be alone to concentrate), I would be streaming lectures, and other than studying I exercise (alone at home, since I have my own set up) and go to yoga classes. Friday and Saturday evenings are the only time I go out with friends. This would lead me to the conclusion that socially it wouldn't matter whether I lived at home or at school?

And @Tsunnami's post rang true. So I think the best I can do with this decision is maximize what matters most to me: A comfortable studying environment (minimizing conflict, noise, and maximizing good relations with the people I am living with), having emotional support (someone to talk to when things get hard, and someone to bother when I take my 5 minute study breaks), minimizing stressors (cooking, cleaning, and the such), and convenience.

Since...

Living at home advantages: Emotional support (someone to bother for 5 minutes when I’m taking a study break or talk to during a meal), reduces stressors (minimizes cooking and cleaning), isolation from classmates (I won’t be preoccupied with what other people are doing with their time all day or how other people are studying, etc.)

Living at home disadvantages: Commute (will be in a car for 45 minutes to 1 hour 2 to 3 times a week), isolation from classmates (and classmates are the only people who understand what you’re going through)

Living at school advantages: Being close to campus (3 minute walk to campus), surrounded by classmates

Living at school disadvantages: No way of knowing how my relationships with my roommates will be, rent and utilities would run me $1800 per month (!!!)

...the best option seems to be to live at home (?) Or live at school for M1 and M2 and then at home for M3 and M4 (while moving back home would be really difficult, no matter where I lived I don't think I would be home much for these years since I'd be so busy anyway?).

Rent and utilities will run you $1800 per month? Try looking for a cheaper place! You don't really need a huge room and your own bathroom. I go to school in the most expensive city in the country and I'm only paying around $1300, and I could even be paying a couple hundred less if I lived a few minutes farther from campus in a slightly worse apartment, so I'm pretty sure there's no way you need to be paying $1800. I'd recommend getting a really cheap place near campus and saving yourself 6+ hours per week of commuting

 

[y123]

Which city is it? $1800 is ridiculous.

 

[acarolina]

Rent and utilities will run you $1800 per month? Try looking for a cheaper place! You don't really need a huge room and your own bathroom. I go to school in the most expensive city in the country and I'm only paying around $1300, and I could even be paying a couple hundred less if I lived a few minutes farther from campus in a slightly worse apartment, so I'm pretty sure there's no way you need to be paying $1800. I'd recommend getting a really cheap place near campus and saving yourself 6+ hours per week of commuting

I know, I know, that is what makes the most sense and what any other reasonable person would do, but I have grown accustomed to having my own space and I have incredibly high standards for the house I'd want to live in (completely my fault). That combined with the fact that most students have already found places for the upcoming year leave me with my two options being living in this house with the insane rent or living at home.

 

[jcorpsmanMD]

I'm sure you could manage to study in the library or some recluse spot for 1-2 hours after school, you have to learn to adapt sometimes.

86k for rent over 4 years is a LOT of money, that's just rent at $1800 per month. Hell, you could buy yourself a brand new car to make that commute a bit more sufferable and still save 40-50k.

Just my 2 cents.

 

[doglover919]

Sorry if you already mentioned this and I didn't see it but have you been living away from your parents up until this point? If so, have you thought about the stress of having some of your independence lost by moving in with your parents again? When I moved back in with mine after college it was super hard at first because I had been this fully independent person and then came back home and everything reverted to back to how it was during my high school days. It's nothing intentional on my parent's part but there is always a tendency to want to take care of their (now fully adult) kid. My mom always wants to know where I am, have a say in my life decisions, know all of my business etc. Also do you have a significant other? If no do you think you would want to get one while living with your peeps? That could also cause issues. All parent living situations will be different but this is what I've learned from living with mine and I will definitely be moving out for med school.

 

[acarolina]

Sorry if you already mentioned this and I didn't see it but have you been living away from your parents up until this point? If so, have you thought about the stress of having some of your independence lost by moving in with your parents again? When I moved back in with mine after college it was super hard at first because I had been this fully independent person and then came back home and everything reverted to back to how it was during my high school days. It's nothing intentional on my parent's part but there is always a tendency to want to take care of their (now fully adult) kid. My mom always wants to know where I am, have a say in my life decisions, know all of my business etc. Also do you have a significant other? If no do you think you would want to get one while living with your peeps? That could also cause issues. All parent living situations will be different but this is what I've learned from living with mine and I will definitely be moving out for med school.

Yeah, I have been living away from home for the past 4 years, but I went home about once a month (freshman and senior year, now that I think about it sophomore and junior year I didn't go home unless it was for a break) since my undergrad was also somewhat close to my house. It's a good point you raise, and my mom is the same way as yours is which can be frustrating. I don't have a bf now, and TBH I'm not sure if I will have the time or the desire the first three years for a relationship, but who knows!

 

[grapefruit17]

Yeah, I have been living away from home for the past 4 years, but I went home about once a month (freshman and senior year, now that I think about it sophomore and junior year I didn't go home unless it was for a break) since my undergrad was also somewhat close to my house. It's a good point you raise, and my mom is the same way as yours is which can be frustrating. I don't have a bf now, and TBH I'm not sure if I will have the time or the desire the first three years for a relationship, but who knows!

How much of your medical school costs are you paying with loans? 100 percent? Is your family helping?

 

[acarolina]

How much of your medical school costs are you paying with loans? 100 percent? Is your family helping?

I am covering 100 percent of my tuition and fees with loans, and housing would also be covered by my loans. My parents will be helping me by paying for groceries, yoga membership, etc. (regardless of where I choose to live) and if I live at home they will also buy me a new car.

*Edited for clarity

 

[grapefruit17]

That's just a lot of money in the long run. 1800 is a ridiculously huge cost.

Keep in mind your school dictates your cost of attendance and your housing expense alone would be around 21k. You usually only get around 25k to live off maybe less or more depending on the area

 

[LutGholein]

The agent emailed me the other day saying rent will be $1800 per person per month instead of the $1500 she said it would likely be...so now it's even more expensive!

There is cheaper housing out there--and yeah it probably means sharing an apartment but $1800 plus utilities a month is ridiculous for a medical student unless your parents are loaded.

 

[dr.Breezy]

It's very expensive to live near campus but I'm telling you, do all you can to find cheaper housing. DON'T live with your parents first year, trust me, move in with them for the following years if your peers really are unbearable. I've lived with my parents for an extended period of time coming back from college to save money, and I regret it. You will lose a lot of independence.


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[acarolina]

Hi everyone, thanks for all of your help! It has come time for me to make a decision, and I think I have decided to live near school for the first 15 months (our preclinical curriculum, which would cost $24k in total), and then move home once we start rotations (since we will all have to commute most days anyways). Does this sound reasonable? I was also thinking to live near campus for either the month of August or until December, and then sublet the room and move home for the rest of the year? If I wasn't so worried about being able to have the same social life as I would if I lived close and the commute sucking, I would live at home. But living at school might help ease the transition?

Does anyone have any thoughts or suggestions? These are the only two housing options I have, and I'm not worried about losing independence—I'm just worried about where I would be able to do better both academically and personally.

@Stagg737 It's actually a 30 minute commute one way, 1 hour with traffic (but the times I would be leaving and coming would not be during rush hour), if this changes your opinion? 30 minutes is not that long, but I don't know if the commute will become stressful.

 

[WingedOx]

Wait, is the 1500 a month just in rent (with roommates)? This school better be in NYC or boston to even come close to justify paying that much.

 

[NotYou20]

Can't you find somewhere with roommates that y'know isn't 1800/m? You said the place is huge, why not pay less for a smaller place?

 

[acarolina]

Yes is it is in a big expensive city!

 

[jcorpsmanMD]

Just go home then, no use in paying rent for the amount of a brand new car because you aren't 'comfortable' anywhere else. I'm sure you have a nice home, enjoy that commute, but wasting loan money on a 'nice' place isn't worth it when most of your time will be spent elsewhere in class or studying.

 

[WingedOx]

Yes is it is in a big expensive city and no I wouldn't be willing to look for a new place for two reasons: First, I start school in week and have no desire to look for somewhere else, and, second, I am used to this type of house and wouldn't be happy or comfortable somewhere else. I'm just wondering, between the two options I have, which would be better.

So you're going to school in a big expensive city, but you're telling me that you need a massive room to be comfortable? Certainly stay at home then.

However, my unwanted advice is to disabuse yourself of that need, and fast. You're likely going to be spending the next 7-9 years in expensive cities and that's money that you simply don't have available to spend.

 

[Stagg737]

Hi everyone, thanks for all of your help! It has come time for me to make a decision, and I think I have decided to live near school for the first 15 months (our preclinical curriculum, which would cost $24k in total), and then move home once we start rotations (since we will all have to commute most days anyways). Does this sound reasonable? I was also thinking to live near campus for either the month of August or until December, and then sublet the room and move home for the rest of the year? If I wasn't so worried about being able to have the same social life as I would if I lived close and the commute sucking, I would live at home. But living at school might help ease the transition?

Does anyone have any thoughts or suggestions? These are the only two housing options I have, and I'm not worried about losing independence—I'm just worried about where I would be able to do better both academically and personally.

@Stagg737 It's actually a 30 minute commute one way, 1 hour with traffic (but the times I would be leaving and coming would not be during rush hour), if this changes your opinion? 30 minutes is not that long, but I don't know if the commute will become stressful.

30 minutes each way is reasonable but annoying. I had that for second year and it wasn't too much of an issue, though it would certainly have been much more convenient to be closer to campus.

 

[Pepe18]

.

 

[Donald Juan]

Just go home then, no use in paying rent for the amount of a brand new car because you aren't 'comfortable' anywhere else. I'm sure you have a nice home, enjoy that commute, but wasting loan money on a 'nice' place isn't worth it when most of your time will be spent elsewhere in class or studying.

Wait, what kind of car costs $1500/month?

 

[jcorpsmanMD]

Wait, what kind of car costs $1500/month?

Actually, quite a few, but I'm not talking about the monthly rent. I'm talking about the absurd amont she'd be spending in rent for 1 year just to be 'comfortable'.