Long Distance Relationships in Med School

[April16MCAT]

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I am currently applying to medical schools and my boyfriend just started his PhD about 10 hours away from the area I am applying. I am just wondering if there are success stories out there about long distance relationships. Also, we plan to see each other one weekend a month, but I am worried I will have to much work when he comes to visit. As a med student, can you afford to take a weekend here and there away from your work? Thank you!

 

[Jolie South]

I am currently applying to medical schools and my boyfriend just started his PhD about 10 hours away from the area I am applying. I am just wondering if there are success stories out there about long distance relationships. Also, we plan to see each other one weekend a month, but I am worried I will have to much work when he comes to visit. As a med student, can you afford to take a weekend here and there away from your work? Thank you!

I'm not in med school, but I had a long distance relationship with my husband for a year and a half before we got married.

We saw each other at least every month, sometimes every 2 weeks. If you love each other and are committed, it can work.

If it doesn't work out, it probably wasn't meant to be anyways.

 

[Law2Doc]

I am currently applying to medical schools and my boyfriend just started his PhD about 10 hours away from the area I am applying. I am just wondering if there are success stories out there about long distance relationships. Also, we plan to see each other one weekend a month, but I am worried I will have to much work when he comes to visit. As a med student, can you afford to take a weekend here and there away from your work? Thank you!

There are success stories -- it usually depends on how long the couple has been together. You can certainly take some time off during a non-pre-exam weekend, but other than the weekend immediately after exams you might find it difficult to take an entire weekend off. Not necessarilly impossible, but difficult -- I certainly wouldn't plan on taking one weekend per month regularly -- you need to play that kind of thing by ear. If you are struggling, the loss of a weekend might not make you feel happy to see your boyfriend.

 

[ziggy793]

I lived in the same borough in NYC as my ex-bf (we are taking a break not bc of other issues) and we only see each other on the weekends, and even so, it's so jam packed with his extra hours and my med school apps. Distance is only a factor if you let it before-- i think there are so many other issues also that may play a bigger force (like studying!) I think if you want to be together, it will work. Having a significant other is really nice when you go through something so important like med school! Hang in there-- don't throw it away without trying!😍

 

[pittnative]

I am currently applying to medical schools and my boyfriend just started his PhD about 10 hours away from the area I am applying. I am just wondering if there are success stories out there about long distance relationships. Also, we plan to see each other one weekend a month, but I am worried I will have to much work when he comes to visit. As a med student, can you afford to take a weekend here and there away from your work? Thank you!

Everyone's circumstance is different. My gf and I broke up this summer cause we would've been doing long distance this year, LA to Pittsburgh, and I don't know where I'm going to be next year for med school.

I personally wasn't ready to commit. We dated for 2.5 yrs through college and it got to the point where we would either get married or see where our own lives would take us. Plus I didn't want to base where I went to med school around a relationship. It was mutual and we still talk a lot, so someday...if it's meant to be

You'll know if the long distance is worth it if you're willing to do all the things I wasn't, I just wasn't ready.

Oh, and I got to hook up with this really cute girl all summer, so that made things a bit easier 😉

 

[GreenShirt]

I'm in an M-I in a long-distance relationship (my bf's in a PhD program too). On the one hand, I'm glad that the relationship is long-distance because I would never have anytime to see him and if I did, I wouldn't get a lot of stuff done that I need to. On the other hand, it's hard when you're having a bad day and there's no one to come home to. We talk on the phone everyday and count down the days until we finishing our doctoral degrees.

 

[silverlining1]

If you love each other and are committed, it can work.

If it doesn't work out, it probably wasn't meant to be anyways.

👍 👍 👍 I completely agree with this.

I am also not in med school, but I am going to be a senior in undergrad (applying to med school right now). My boyfriend and I started dating the summer before I started undergrad, so we have been together in a long-distance relationship for 3 years. We plan to get married, but I do not think we will do it yet if we are not able to live together. Our situation is a bit complicated because I'm applying to med school now, but he won't be applying to grad school for another 1-2 years. We're both aiming to end up in the Southern California area (he is there now doing a masters program). I'm not applying to med schools OOS because of him - we're committed to making this work.

I think we've been able to stay strong by talking on the phone every day and being honest about what we do, who we meet, etc. We also see each other once or twice a month. It's hard, but it's doable because this relationship is very important to us.

 

[mycurlyearly]

I am not in medical school yet, and am about to start my senior year in undergrad. My boyfriend and I have been together for 5 1/2 years and were long distance for two years in high school.

I honestly think that if it's meant to be and you are both committed, distance won't be too big of a deal. I want to stay in California with him, because he won't be applying to grad school till 1-2 years after I enter med school either. I decided to apply to OOS because a new experience is always good, and I feel that if we can survive long distance in medical school we are definitely meant to be. Of course I would love to stay with him in San Diego, but we can't always have it our way 🙂 good luck!

 

[pandulce321]

My boyfriend just finished his first year at BrownMed and I just finished undergrad at UF. We spent the last year long distance... and saw each other once a month. To be honest, you appreciate someone so much more when you don't get to see them very often. We have been dating for four years and I am applying to medical school this year. You will be busy, and that will help... but its not going to be easy. I can only echo everyone else by saying, if you love the person, you will make it work. There will be plenty of temptation when you are spending long hours studying with someone and sympathizing with your fellow classmates, but half of his med friends are also in long distance relationships, so you won't be the only one suffering.

 

[deleted36260]

I'm planning on dumping mine when I get in medschool...what can I say??? 😳




😉

 

[Psycho Doctor]

In some ways it's easier to be apart. My first two years and through 2 years of undergrad, we were apart. We spent a lot of time on the phone and visiting but it also made us value the time togethe rmore. Now for the summer my gf has been living with me trying to get a job. It's been torture because she wants us to be together and do things during any time I'm off and I'm superbusy and exhausted. it upsets her if I can't give her all my attention and it makes me feel guilty.

 

[spospo]

M1 here, and i am going to have to agree that it is almost easier to begin med school with the distance. i have plenty of time to study because talking on the phone a few times a night doesn't take up nearly as much time as spending time with the person. he is planning on moving down next summer, at which point i hope to have the whole studying thing down.

 

[crystalgreen]

I'm planning on dumping mine when I get in medschool...what can I say??? 😳




😉

wow you're honest...how will she feel if she knew about this? i wonder how you'll feel if someone was planning to do this to you...tsk tsk tsk...

 

[Law2Doc]

wow you're honest...how will she feel if she knew about this? i wonder how you'll feel if someone was planning to do this to you...tsk tsk tsk...

As callous as it seems, the dude is being a realist. Many many relationships break up during the first year of med school. If it wasn't a strong relationship before it started, you can pretty much consider it history once time becomes a premium.

 

[Jaded03]

Well...I think what they're saying is...why not now? 😛. It's not really being a realist to beat around the bush with these thoughts. If you're not in a strong relationship now...she's kinda being used.

 

[crystalgreen]

Well...I think what they're saying is...why not now? 😛. It's not really being a realist to beat around the bush with these thoughts. If you're not in a strong relationship now...she's kinda being used.

I agree, if someone has no integrity and likes to take advantage of other people, he/she's more likely to beat around the bush just to fool someone.

 

[crystalgreen]

As callous as it seems, the dude is being a realist. Many many relationships break up during the first year of med school. If it wasn't a strong relationship before it started, you can pretty much consider it history once time becomes a premium.

yeah...a realist with no honor

 

[April16MCAT]

Thanks for all the input. I know my boyfriend is the one I want to marry, I guess I was just trying to get an idea of how much time I will have to spend with him over the next four years. Can any more current med students give input on if it is possible to go on weekend trips and blow off working for two days or would you fall pretty far behind?

 

[Law2Doc]

yeah...a realist with no honor

It's still a lot better than those folks who maintain the long distance thing but date locally on the side.