Long distance relationships/marriages with a law student

[Swttxcandy]

Hey everyone,

I know there is a thread already dedicated to long distance relationships, but I haven't seen anyone in my predicament.

I am entering medical school in the fall and my boyfriend of four years is starting law school in FL. We've done the long distance thing before, however, I not sure of the strain professional school is going to take on our relationship. Any tips on how to make it work?

Also, we want to get married in about 1-2 years. Any suggestions on when to get married? Neither one of use is opposed to long distance marriage either. I am interested in family practice so I am pretty sure we can be together once I am out of medical school.


Thanks everyone!

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[Law2Doc]

Hey everyone,

I know there is a thread already dedicated to long distance relationships, but I haven't seen anyone in my predicament.

I am entering medical school in the fall and my boyfriend of four years is starting law school in FL. We've done the long distance thing before, however, I not sure of the strain professional school is going to take on our relationship. Any tips on how to make it work?

Also, we want to get married in about 1-2 years. Any suggestions on when to get married? Neither one of use is opposed to long distance marriage either. I am interested in family practice so I am pretty sure we can be together once I am out of medical school.


Thanks everyone!

You probably shouldn't be dating 4 year olds, even if they are prodigies.

You didn't say how long a distance we are talking -- a couple of hours drive is very different than ten. Law school will be a bit more flexible as some only have exams at the very end of the course, so make sure he knows he will be doing most of the travelling.
The summer after first year is probably the optimal time to get married. After second year you have the boards to contend with, and would make wedding planning a b*tch. Some folks get married in winter break of second year, but end up having to cut short or delay any sort of honeymoon.

 

[LJDHC05]

Hey everyone,

I know there is a thread already dedicated to long distance relationships, but I haven't seen anyone in my predicament.

I am entering medical school in the fall and my boyfriend of four years is starting law school in FL. We've done the long distance thing before, however, I not sure of the strain professional school is going to take on our relationship. Any tips on how to make it work?

Also, we want to get married in about 1-2 years. Any suggestions on when to get married? Neither one of use is opposed to long distance marriage either. I am interested in family practice so I am pretty sure we can be together once I am out of medical school.


Thanks everyone!

I'm in the same boat. My GF has been in Law School in Vermont for the past year while I've been working in Boston full time. It's been doable while I'm working and right now the plan is to just hang out a couple of weekends a month and study for some of the weekend.

 

[njbmd]

Hey everyone,

I know there is a thread already dedicated to long distance relationships, but I haven't seen anyone in my predicament.

I am entering medical school in the fall and my boyfriend of four years is starting law school in FL. We've done the long distance thing before, however, I not sure of the strain professional school is going to take on our relationship. Any tips on how to make it work?

Also, we want to get married in about 1-2 years. Any suggestions on when to get married? Neither one of use is opposed to long distance marriage either. I am interested in family practice so I am pretty sure we can be together once I am out of medical school.


Thanks everyone!

Hi there,
If you both are dedicated to your relationship, it can work. There are a few factors here to consider. One, both of you will be pretty involved with your studies. Even if you were in the same house together, you would be spending some serious time "in the books". I am sure that your BF would be doing the same thing.

Second, being apart does give you both something to look forward to on holidays and vacations. You can work very hard in ther intervening time but get together (perhaps halfway for both of you) and reward yourselves.

Third, after third year is complete, you can do your electives away from your medical school. Perhaps you might be able to do some of them in the same town as your BF. Also, since his school is three years, he might be able to work closer to your location. Either way, plan on being apart for three years as opposed to four.

Last, professional school does change many people and thus, may change one or both of you. You could end up closer together or you could grow apart. On the other hand, the same thing could happen if you are under the same roof.

The key to any relationship is the commitment of the parties involved. If you both are on the same page and dedicated to each other, then things will work out. I found myself feeling guilty when I was spending so much time studying even when my BF lived in the same house with me. In the end, it was those "planned dates" that gave me something to look forward to after putting in the study time.

If he had given up on me, I would have let him go. He always said that he knew that medicine made me happy and that he was happy to be with me while I pursued my dream. We are still engaged and we are still very happy after four years of medical school and residency.

Good luck!
njbmd

 

[Marigold]

It's totally do-able.

My husband and I have been doing the long distance thing for the past 2 years, and we have at least one more year left. I just started 3rd year at BCM, and he's starting his 5th year of his PhD at Baylor U. So we're 3 driving hours apart.

We see each other every 2-3 weeks, and we really miss each other sometimes, but we're each busy independent enough that we don't shrivel up and die when we have to go awhile without seeing each other. Having a family plan where we can talk free as long as we want has been fantastic, and 3 hours isn't that long of a drive.

We dated for my last year of college, and for the first 2 years of med school. We just got married on June 25 of this year, a week before 3rd year started. I wedding-planned while on rotations (peds, OB/GYN, and neuro), and I didn't think it was that bad. In fact the wedding was a welcome distraction when I wanted something ELSE to focus on for awhile!

It can totally be done, especially if you're both independent enough to carry on with your own life when you're not together, and stay busy during the week so the time goes by faster and weekends come sooner. I don't think staying busy will be a problem for either of you, though.

 

[Swttxcandy]

Thanks you guys! You've been really helpful. I have a renewed hope in beginning this long distance relationship.

Right now we are planning to visit each other once a month on the weekends. Because he's in Fl and I will be in TX. The flight is about 2 1/2 hours. They will get expensive but we can do it.

You all are right, if we both stay busy in between visits we will be fine. I am sure neither one of us will have trouble staying busy.

Thanks

 

[amandil]

Right now we are planning to visit each other once a month on the weekends. Because he's in Fl and I will be in TX. The flight is about 2 1/2 hours. They will get expensive but we can do it.

If you're looking to minimize airfare, I really like the flight search engine http://www.kayak.com/

good luck!

 

[beponychick]

It's totally do-able.

My husband and I have been doing the long distance thing for the past 2 years, and we have at least one more year left. I just started 3rd year at BCM, and he's starting his 5th year of his PhD at Baylor U. So we're 3 driving hours apart.

We see each other every 2-3 weeks, and we really miss each other sometimes, but we're each busy independent enough that we don't shrivel up and die when we have to go awhile without seeing each other. Having a family plan where we can talk free as long as we want has been fantastic, and 3 hours isn't that long of a drive.

We dated for my last year of college, and for the first 2 years of med school. We just got married on June 25 of this year, a week before 3rd year started. I wedding-planned while on rotations (peds, OB/GYN, and neuro), and I didn't think it was that bad. In fact the wedding was a welcome distraction when I wanted something ELSE to focus on for awhile!

It can totally be done, especially if you're both independent enough to carry on with your own life when you're not together, and stay busy during the week so the time goes by faster and weekends come sooner. I don't think staying busy will be a problem for either of you, though.

I really admire you for being able to do the long distance thing, especially when you guys are married. I think I personally would not be able to deal with it. My bf and I moved in together closer to my school, even though this increased the distance he would have to travel to work (he is an attorney). I think the distance would put unnecessary stress on both of us, and we decided it would be best for our future for both of us to move, instead of just just having me move. I totally admire your commitment to your husband and your ability to make it work. You are a much stronger person than I am.

 

[LJDHC05]

If you're looking to minimize airfare, I really like the flight search engine http://www.kayak.com/

good luck!

Great site...my coworker's cousin is the CEO of kayak