LOR Issue... Interesting Situation

[DoctorOfRock]

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So, one of my good friend's dad is a Family Medicine physician. At the beginning of this year, I took advantage of the fact that I already knew him and would feel comfortable asking him if I could shadow him. I shadowed him multiple times early this year, and ended up asking him for a letter of recommendation in early September. Anyways, I've tried to ask him to get it done a few times since, without sounding pushy. He told me "We'll get it done by November 1st!" Well, it's not done. I called him just now, but I always feel like I am bothering him. He said "we'll get it done.. sometime before Jesus comes back". How should I go about this? I don't want to annoy him, but I'd really (obviously) like the LOR from him.

 

[joshmell]

When do you actually NEED the letter in? Ask him a month before that date, and stress the importance of the due date.

Edit: Otherwise, I'd stop bothering him or his annoyance might show in the LOR.

 

[arrugula2]

I think you should forget about this guy, if you have to bother him he'll write it in a hurry. I had the same thing happen with a professor I've known well since freshman year I emailed and called all summer after speaking with him in the spring and still haven't heard anything; thankfully I had other good LORs. I ended up sending in the three LORs that I did have, even to schools that wanted more than three or a different mix of letters (i.e. 1 research, 2 science, 1 non-science). None of my schools seemed to have a problem with this, they probably don't appreciate tons of letters anyway.

 

[bluesmd]

I ended up sending in the three LORs that I did have, even to schools that wanted more than three or a different mix of letters (i.e. 1 research, 2 science, 1 non-science). None of my schools seemed to have a problem with this, they probably don't appreciate tons of letters anyway.

did you check specifically with these schools. just because they haven't mentioned it doesn't mean that don't need it. you should call/email and ask just to make sure you have all the requirements down

 

[RSAgator]

Do you know if this letter will be any good to begin with?

 

[Law2Doc]

So, one of my good friend's dad is a Family Medicine physician. At the beginning of this year, I took advantage of the fact that I already knew him and would feel comfortable asking him if I could shadow him. I shadowed him multiple times early this year, and ended up asking him for a letter of recommendation in early September. Anyways, I've tried to ask him to get it done a few times since, without sounding pushy. He told me "We'll get it done by November 1st!" Well, it's not done. I called him just now, but I always feel like I am bothering him. He said "we'll get it done.. sometime before Jesus comes back". How should I go about this? I don't want to annoy him, but I'd really (obviously) like the LOR from him.

Just offer to help by emailing him a draft you wrote that he can work from. If it's honest and he likes it, he may just sign off on it. Or your offer may serve as a reminder that's helpful without coming off as a pushy "do this now". Make sure he knows he doesn't have to use the draft, and should feel free to make any changes he deems appropriate. And that you have waived the right to see the final version.

 

[scg]

Yes, I agree that you should write a draft and send it to him. Essentially you want to make it as easy as possible for him to write you a LoR.

It's also helpful because a lot of times they don't know what should be in the letter or are not as familiar with your work as you hope for.

 

[arrugula2]

did you check specifically with these schools. just because they haven't mentioned it doesn't mean that don't need it. you should call/email and ask just to make sure you have all the requirements down

Yes, I've checked and even interviewed/been invited by some of them. As long as you have approximately what they ask for it doesn't seem to be an issue.

 

[biophysicianai]

Sorry DocRock - can I call you DocRock 😛? - but I agree with one of the previous writers about this one: you should probably forget about this fellow. It was nice of him to let you shadow, but if he has been lazy about writing you a letter, he'll be even lazier about making sure that letter is good.