Lost her...

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Rx 4 MiSeRy

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  1. Pharmacy Student
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A lot of people warned me before I went to pharmacy school that "99.9% of relationships" won't make it out of the first year. Well... sadly I have fell victim to that percentage! I had a girlfriend for 3.5 years and we had been through the distance thing before in undergrad but wow... Apparently I was more dedicated to my career than her, or so she says. This happened back in November but its definitely always on my mind - I know this is random as heck but how do you just draw a line between your social life and your profession? I tried to but it seemed I was always talking about something related to pharmacy whether it was work related or about school...

We really need a general discussions thread... Sorry for the randomness I just can't believe I was dumped over having a sense of purpose! 😡
 
wow, don't sweat it. If it's not meant to be, it's not meant to be. You should put your career #1 (because u deserve it and worked hard for it!!) and she should understand that. I mean, wouldn't you do the same for her if the situation was reversed? Relationships should be about compromise and understanding (and honesty, communication, etc) and if she does not get it then, well, its her loss then. 3.5 years is a long time and you thought that your relationship would be strong enough, truth be told, this was the ultimate test. Maybe with some time apart, she'd kom to her senses, but in the meantime to try to get your mind of the heartache: workout and focus on school!

As far as drawing the line, i wouldn't know. My fiancé knows that this is important to me (as with him too) and we managed through so far because we make the time for each other whenever we can and make sacrifices too. So, it helps when there's an understanding.
 
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Without knowing the two of you or the history, it's really hard to say. There are no words of mine that will make you feel better. Time will have to heal this wound.

And just so you know, my wife hate science, but I have talked about pharmacy and she has put up with it for almost 28 years because she is interested in me (hard to believe, I know). She also is not a sports fan, but she puts up with Eagles stuff all of the time.....

To build a life together, you need common values, not common interests. The right person will love to hear about pharmacy related stuff, because she cares about you.

Good luck to you. Focus on school and life will bring you many surprises. As the poet said:

Birth is a beginning and death is a destination and life is journey.
Click to expand...
Enjoy the ride.......
 
Old Timer said:
Without knowing the two of you or the history, it's really hard to say. There are no words of mine that will make you feel better. Time will have to heal this wound.

And just so you know, my wife hate science, but I have talked about pharmacy and she has put up with it for almost 28 years because she is interested in me (hard to believe, I know). She also is not a sports fan, but she puts up with Eagles stuff all of the time.....

To build a life together, you need common values, not common interests. The right person will love to hear about pharmacy related stuff, because she cares about you.

Good luck to you. Focus on school and life will bring you many surprises. As the poet said:

Enjoy the ride.......
Click to expand...


I really dont think Donovan deserves a superbowl ring. Usually I pity people who played for a while who dont get that goals, but Donovan isnt one of them.

I hope next year, chad pennington and the dolphins get it.
 
When you realize that there is no such thing as a soul mate or "the one" and that there are probably several million girls you can have a meaningful relationship with, ending a relationship isn't a big deal anymore. I've had girls that have told me such excuses before, too. It isn't the career thing. She just was looking for an excuse to end it. "Career" is very convenient and doesn't make her look like the bitch she probably is (no offense if you take any by it) when she ended the relationship. The big excuse a few of my exes used was religion. I'm not a Christian, so they use it as a GREAT excuse. Meanwhile, I had a freaky threesome with her a month earlier with her and her best friend, she was starting to become an alcoholic (which was starting to annoy me because I don't drink, but I digress), and I never heard of her ever going to church...but...yeah...religion...that's why you don't like me...

I was lucky enough to find a pre-pharmacy student with similar aspirations, similar religious views, and similar personalty as me to hook up with. Almost 5 years later we're married and doing fine. Just say "**** it" and move on. There are girls everywhere that need some lovin', playa. Statistically speaking there's like a 99.99999+% chance that there's someone better for you out there.

That you in your avatar, btw? Cool...nobody ever does that...
 
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Rx 4 MiSeRy said:
We really need a general discussions thread...
Click to expand...

No offense, but it's called the All-Students Forum. It's not used as much as it should be.

Oh, and I agree with Mike. Give up pharmacy and keep someone willing to give you up for it. Or find someone who's willing to go down the road you've chosen for yourself.
 
if theres 1 thing everybody always says about Wingate University SOP, its how many fine mamacitas are running around.

those mamacitas will be earning 6 figures in a couple years. Look around you and realize it was probably a blessing.

I mean, having to talk to your chick on the phone all the time, pretending like you care how her day was...not to mention you'd probably eventually have developed brain cancer from all the cell radiation. On top of all that you dont even get to wake up next to her every day?

Thats for suckers.
 
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PharmPrincess said:
wow, don't sweat it. If it's not meant to be, it's not meant to be. You should put your career #1 (because u deserve it and worked hard for it!!) and she should understand that.
Click to expand...

I don't mean to harp on semantics (well, actually, I guess I do), but you're not really putting your career #1. You're certainly prioritizing your education and career right now, but I imagine that you and many people choose a good career not only for their own welfare but also to ensure prosperity and a good life for those around them. For many people, one of the reasons that you want to hold a strong career is for the benefit of your wife/husband, children, and family. I don't want to judge your ex-girlfriend, because I can understand the perspective that perhaps she wanted more attention and direct affection. However, I feel that a truly understanding girlfriend and a reciprocating relationship would make it so that she would understand that whatever gains that you make are an advantage for her and are done so in part because they also benefit her.

I won't pretend to understand relationships, though. Ultimately, it's a very complicated creature to understand. 3.5 years is a long time, and I imagine it's very painful for you right now. But, there will be better times.

--Garfield3d
 
PharmPrincess said:
You should put your career #1
Click to expand...

Does your fiance put his career first?

I couldn't disagree more with this statement. Family (or future family in the OP's case) should always come first. How could you possibly expect a relationship or marriage to work if you put your career first?? I'm not saying blow off school or work, but its not that hard to balance. I'm in rx school in richmond and my girlfriend is in med school in baltimore and we aren't having any problems. We bust our asses during the week studying so that we dont have to study at all when we see each other on the weekends.

I agree with WVU that career is an easy cop-out, unless you really were spending every waking moment with your therapy book, only you would know...
 
I'm going to offer a different spin on your situation. Grow a pair, then get out there and use them. Your feelings may be real, but your too damn young to be so hung up on some chick who obviously wasn't that into you. Hey man, its cool. Move on, and enjoy.
 
Rx 4 MiSeRy said:
A lot of people warned me before I went to pharmacy school that "99.9% of relationships" won't make it out of the first year. Well... sadly I have fell victim to that percentage! I had a girlfriend for 3.5 years and we had been through the distance thing before in undergrad but wow... Apparently I was more dedicated to my career than her, or so she says. This happened back in November but its definitely always on my mind - I know this is random as heck but how do you just draw a line between your social life and your profession? I tried to but it seemed I was always talking about something related to pharmacy whether it was work related or about school...

We really need a general discussions thread... Sorry for the randomness I just can't believe I was dumped over having a sense of purpose! 😡
Click to expand...


I bet she is hooking up with an MD student
 
I agree that career cannot come FIRST when you are married. Definitely your spouse must come first. I'm sorry for what you're going through. I know it's hard. I bet one day you will look back and think you're glad it happened for whatever reason...that reason will probably be because you are in love with someone better for you!

I would just like to add that this is the #1 reason why pharmacy school makes me nervous. I am married and things are good. But school DOES take its toll on me AND us. And I think that's because I work full time AND go to school...but I bet Pharmacy School won't be any less stressful...if it's not MORE stressful. Then again I suppose if we can get through the things we have been through so far then we can make it through pharmacy school as well.


And don't listen to bigpharmd...
 
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I've seen enough crazy things in my pharmacy class. Everybody is sleeping with everybody even the married ones. It's sickening!!!

With long distance relationships, It's either "out of sight, out of mind" or "distance makes the heart grow fonder". So in the end, it really is up to the individuals and how they handle their relationships. Once a person wants to end it, they will find a reason. Just focus in school and do well.
 
WVUPharm2007 said:
When you realize that there is no such thing as a soul mate or "the one" and that there are probably several million girls you can have a meaningful relationship with, ending a relationship isn't a big deal anymore. I've had girls that have told me such excuses before, too. It isn't the career thing. She just was looking for an excuse to end it. "Career" is very convenient and doesn't make her look like the bitch she probably is (no offense if you take any by it) when she ended the relationship. The big excuse a few of my exes used was religion. I'm not a Christian, so they use it as a GREAT excuse. Meanwhile, I had a freaky threesome with her a month earlier with her and her best friend, she was starting to become an alcoholic (which was starting to annoy me because I don't drink, but I digress), and I never heard of her ever going to church...but...yeah...religion...that's why you don't like me...

I was lucky enough to find a pre-pharmacy student with similar aspirations, similar religious views, and similar personalty as me to hook up with. Almost 5 years later we're married and doing fine. Just say "**** it" and move on. There are girls everywhere that need some lovin', playa. Statistically speaking there's like a 99.99999+% chance that there's someone better for you out there.

That you in your avatar, btw? Cool...nobody ever does that...
Click to expand...


Yes its me! lol Your so right, nobody ever does that, except you so I figured I would join your club!

But about the relationship... Wow Almost 2 months have gone by and she is already on guy number 2. I know this probably doesn't sound like a unique story because we hear these kinds of things all the time... but if you knew her you would be shocked. She was the furthest thing from what she has become, and that is part of the reason I was so attracted to her way back when - just a good, down to earth girl who didn't play games.

The one line that gets me every time I think about it is... "I just can't be the wife of a pharmacist". I really didn't know what to say to that. I guess you live and learn! I just thought this was the last thing I had to worry about!

Now... On to Drug Mech! 🙄
 
Garfield3d said:
I don't mean to harp on semantics (well, actually, I guess I do), but you're not really putting your career #1. You're certainly prioritizing your education and career right now, but I imagine that you and many people choose a good career not only for their own welfare but also to ensure prosperity and a good life for those around them. For many people, one of the reasons that you want to hold a strong career is for the benefit of your wife/husband, children, and family. I don't want to judge your ex-girlfriend, because I can understand the perspective that perhaps she wanted more attention and direct affection. However, I feel that a truly understanding girlfriend and a reciprocating relationship would make it so that she would understand that whatever gains that you make are an advantage for her and are done so in part because they also benefit her.

I won't pretend to understand relationships, though. Ultimately, it's a very complicated creature to understand. 3.5 years is a long time, and I imagine it's very painful for you right now. But, there will be better times.

--Garfield3d
Click to expand...

Thanks a bunch! I'm just hoping those better times will hurry up and get here!
 
Rx 4 MiSeRy said:
Yes its me! lol Your so right, nobody ever does that, except you so I figured I would join your club!

But about the relationship... Wow Almost 2 months have gone by and she is already on guy number 2. I know this probably doesn't sound like a unique story because we hear these kinds of things all the time... but if you knew her you would be shocked. She was the furthest thing from what she has become, and that is part of the reason I was so attracted to her way back when - just a good, down to earth girl who didn't play games.

The one line that gets me every time I think about it is... "I just can't be the wife of a pharmacist". I really didn't know what to say to that. I guess you live and learn! I just thought this was the last thing I had to worry about!

Now... On to Drug Mech! 🙄
Click to expand...


I had that same shock after my first serious g/f dumped me, too. It's like they aren't even the same human being you knew a few weeks ago. Just find someone hotter and more accomplished. It probably won't be that hard. Hit the gym and start subscribing to GQ. Then in 5 years when you and your spouse are making like $250k combined and she's married to a mechanic, you can look her up and rub it in her face. :laugh:
 
WVUPharm2007 said:
I had that same shock after my first serious g/f dumped me, too. It's like they aren't even the same human being you knew a few weeks ago. Just find someone hotter and more accomplished. It probably won't be that hard. Hit the gym and start subscribing to GQ. Then in 5 years when you and your spouse are making like $250k combined and she's married to a mechanic, you can look her up and rub it in her face. :laugh:
Click to expand...

haha!

Thanks WVU! Glad to hear I'm not the only one that feels this way. I really don't know what I would do without SDN. 😀
 
:laugh: Wow suddenly my pic looks really dumb.. haha
 
Rx 4 MiSeRy said:
A lot of people warned me before I went to pharmacy school that "99.9% of relationships" won't make it out of the first year. Well... sadly I have fell victim to that percentage! I had a girlfriend for 3.5 years and we had been through the distance thing before in undergrad but wow... Apparently I was more dedicated to my career than her, or so she says. This happened back in November but its definitely always on my mind - I know this is random as heck but how do you just draw a line between your social life and your profession? I tried to but it seemed I was always talking about something related to pharmacy whether it was work related or about school...

We really need a general discussions thread... Sorry for the randomness I just can't believe I was dumped over having a sense of purpose! 😡
Click to expand...


Jeebus Christ... get real dude.. Stop moping around posting this "poor me" crap... no wonder your ex dumped you.. Be a man. Pick your ass off the ground and go out and get you a new girlfriend. Good Lord.. 👎
 
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ItsOverZyvox said:
Jeebus Christ... get real dude.. Stop moping around posting this "poor me" crap... no wonder your ex dumped you.. Be a man. Pick your ass off the ground and go out and get you a new girlfriend. Good Lord.. 👎
Click to expand...

How many girlfriends do YOU have?
 
ItsOverZyvox said:
Jeebus Christ... get real dude.. Stop moping around posting this "poor me" crap... no wonder your ex dumped you.. Be a man. Pick your ass off the ground and go out and get you a new girlfriend. Good Lord.. 👎
Click to expand...

Actually that wasn't the intent... Don't weep for me! I just wanted to share with people that may be going through the same thing I am... Sorry.
 
Rx 4 MiSeRy said:
Actually that wasn't the intent... Don't weep for me! I just wanted to share with people that may be going through the same thing I am... Sorry.
Click to expand...


Dude...don't apologize to me.. go out and make me proud.
 
WVUPharm2007 said:
Move to Morgantown...I'll hook you up with a dental student or PT student...gimme like, 5 hours...
Click to expand...


That's not how you hook up a brotha.. you should have several waiting in line for him to pick out.... not wait 5 hours.
 
WVUPharm2007 said:
...in 5 years when you and your spouse are making like $250k combined and she's married to a mechanic, you can look her up and rub it in her face. :laugh:
Click to expand...

Nah, they're both working at Hooters. She's a waitress and he's the cook. And yes, I do want fries with that.
 
WTH does "I just can't be the wife of a pharmacist" mean anyway?!? That is so stupid! I think being the wife of a pharmacist would be wonderful! She's weird!
 
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VCU2011 said:
Does your fiance put his career first?

I couldn't disagree more with this statement. Family (or future family in the OP's case) should always come first. How could you possibly expect a relationship or marriage to work if you put your career first?? I'm not saying blow off school or work, but its not that hard to balance. I'm in rx school in richmond and my girlfriend is in med school in baltimore and we aren't having any problems. We bust our asses during the week studying so that we dont have to study at all when we see each other on the weekends.

I agree with WVU that career is an easy cop-out, unless you really were spending every waking moment with your therapy book, only you would know...
Click to expand...

Maybe not #1, per se, but I still do want him to make it close to #1. I do agree that family (& future family if its that serious) is always first, but i was just trying to encourage the poor guy. My fiance and I both attend WSU, I in Pharm School and he in Med School. Since, we're on similar paths, we know the importance of school. I mean, we both worked hard for this so giving it up easily for the other person is not gonna cut it. This is the understanding we have. Since we've been together for a long time (6+yrs), we've worked through our whole undergrad (& HS) dealing with time management (for school, job, us and ourselves), so i feel that we've managed prioritizing. Sacrifices do happen though and i feel honest communication of where each other stands is the key to making it work.
 
Rx 4 MiSeRy said:
But about the relationship... Wow Almost 2 months have gone by and she is already on guy number 2. I know this probably doesn't sound like a unique story because we hear these kinds of things all the time... but if you knew her you would be shocked. She was the furthest thing from what she has become, and that is part of the reason I was so attracted to her way back when - just a good, down to earth girl who didn't play games.

The one line that gets me every time I think about it is... "I just can't be the wife of a pharmacist". I really didn't know what to say to that. I guess you live and learn! I just thought this was the last thing I had to worry about!
Click to expand...

Superficial b*tch. F**k her. Good riddance.

Time to get a (dog/cat/fish/hamster/parrot/whatever). They don't play games and they're honest and loyal.
 
[FONT=trebuchet ms, arial, helvetica][FONT=trebuchet ms, arial, helvetica]Too bad because you were supposed to deliver this line (modified for a pharmacist) to her after you became a pharmacist:

"I'm sorry, <her name>. I always knew that after I became a [pharmacist], I would dump whoever I was with and find someone better. That's the dream of becoming a [pharmacist]." - Seinfeld

:laugh:
..
 
It was easier for me to have a relationship with people in the same field, they understand the demands. It's nice to be married to someone who rolls their eyes and corrects me when I screw up my antibiotic mechanisms of action. It's just nice to talk with someone who doesn't cry or glaze over when you talk about your career, and can even advise you at times.
 
Old Timer said:
To build a life together, you need common values, not common interests.

I deeply feel what you said. Its part of my misery... The following quote on the other hand reminds me that I always need something more, that i want my partner (in another field) to be able to share with me things (academic and professional) that play a big part in my life. I feel guilty that i may be putting my study and career over him and US, but i always feel that we dont have communication...

Megas said:
It was easier for me to have a relationship with people in the same field, they understand the demands. It's nice to be married to someone who rolls their eyes and corrects me when I screw up my antibiotic mechanisms of action. It's just nice to talk with someone who doesn't cry or glaze over when you talk about your career, and can even advise you at times.
Click to expand...

I feel the same. Also, its good to have someone who understands how hard i have worked to achieve something in school or in my career...
Click to expand...
 
WVUPharm2007 said:
I had that same shock after my first serious g/f dumped me, too. It's like they aren't even the same human being you knew a few weeks ago. Just find someone hotter and more accomplished. It probably won't be that hard. Hit the gym and start subscribing to GQ. Then in 5 years when you and your spouse are making like $250k combined and she's married to a mechanic, you can look her up and rub it in her face. :laugh:
Click to expand...

Agreed, but OP, aim for somebody slightly more inept so you'll fall below the $250K obama salary cap. We've all fallen victim to the "high school sweetheart bull**** routine." Just be happy you fell for it before you started collecting your salary as a pharmacist.

Slap that Bitch in the taint/grundle/nifkin/perineum next time you see her--do it for me. I don't care how shameful it is, I'll commend you.
 
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I'm sure they'll be many girls out there in pharmacy school for you!
 
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