aaronrodgers

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Hi everyone!

I was wondering if anyone has experience living/growing up in a physician + veterinarian household.

What is family life like? Do both individuals generally have enough time to see one another?

Were there any unique challenges?

Isn’t it a good thing to have someone who is in a completely different realm of medicine but who can still also relate to the other person’s career at a fundamental level because both are in healthcare?

How difficult is it to find jobs in the same location together? We both live in California

I asked the same question on the medical student forum but didn’t get a lot of response.

Thank you!
 
May 19, 2019
7
3
Status
Veterinarian
Hi, thought I would take some time to reply.

My husband is an MD and he’s currently a resident physician, working long hours with little pay. I’m a DVM from another country, going through the ecfvg program, and I’ve been shadowing a few veterinarians and doing some part time clinic work to help with test prep. We used to live in Cali but now we’re somewhere else for hubby’s residency.

I get to see my husband only when he comes back from work, most of the time that’s about 8-9pm ish and we’re lucky we live in a small town and we’re only about 10 minutes always from his hospital.

As for me, even though I don’t have my vet license yet, I’ve been offered a couple of jobs like assistant professor at a local community college, or government positions. I did not accept any of these positions though, had some things to take care of first. I did realize that if I had taken on a full time vet or vet related job, I probably wouldn’t be able to see my husband a lot since the most time I can spend with him is during the weekend when he’s on call or at the hospital (i pack up my textbooks and laptop and stay in the resident lounge with him, he works on his laptop and I work on mine, and then we call it a “date”).

We did discuss having kids after he finishes residency. We also agree that he should take a one week on one week off job (and I take a part time vet job) to spend as much time as we can with kids, but also to still practice what we love. We figured that if both of us work full time and have full fledged careers (let’s say both of us are clinic owners), we’d probably be missing from our kids’ childhoods.

As for having an MD for a husband, I want to share something with you. One day I was reading Blackwell’s five minute canine feline and saw that for clostridium related diarrhea, it would be helpful to give the dog a high fiber diet (I might be wrong). So when hubby got home I told him what I read today and asked him what’s he treatment for humans with clos related diarrhea. He told me it’s definitely not a high fiber diet cuz it would make humans worse. We ended up being really confused and went to bed not having reached a conclusion on how to treat clostridium related diarrhea (no fight, discussion was always fun, but only if both can respect each other’s professions, which we can).

There’s also one thing that I would like to point out. I know we do euthanasia and all that but personally (for me and my hubby) it’s more devastating for the both of us when he has to call the time of death on his patient. He would come home really sad and he feels really defeated. As for me I feel ok after a euthanasia because I’ve always convinced myself that my patient is in a better place and not in pain anymore and that I’ve done a good thing. Most of the time, it’s my husband’s work that makes us depressed and as a wife, I share that depression with him. Just want to say that you can’t have two doctors feel down at the same time, one of you have to at least keep cool and be there for the other one when dealing with work stress.

Lastly about jobs in California, with my hubby it’s not hard for him to find a job in Cali, maybe it’s because he’s from Cali and he’s already got his own connections. As for me, I’m from another country but I do have help from foreign vet grads who’ve made it in Cali, and I also have the help of hubby’s awesome alumni system. It might not be much of a problem for me if we decided to go back to his hometown in Cali. I keep a close eye on DVM and MD openings all the time and it seems like they’re always lacking physicians and veterinarians.

I hope this helps.
 
Last edited:
May 19, 2019
7
3
Status
Veterinarian
Also, I want to point out that we make an “extreme effort” to spend time with each other and we both think we’ve been doing great at this “no kids MD resident + part time DVM thing”.

some of the examples of our “dates”:

1.He brings me to work if it’s community clinic service and you’re allowed to bring family members to help.

2. I pop in to his office to surprise him with bentos and coffee, sometimes even a funny balloon or a rose, just to brighten his day. And then I make him hold the balloon/rose when he walks out of the hospital HaHa.

3. When he’s the only resident that day, I join him at work and wait in the cafeteria or resident chill room with a book so he can come see me and vent whenever he has time.

4. I make sure that my part time work is ALWAYS in sync with his work, because it’s harder for him to move his schedule around. When he’s off, I’m off, so we can spend the maximum amount of time together.
 
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SocialStigma

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I'm a DVM and my boyfriend is a med student, so this will be our future.

The most challenging part thus far is that we have been long distance (ranging from 2 to 8.5 hours apart) for pretty much the entirety of our relationship. We kept moving farther and farther away from each other as I pursued an internship and residency post-vet school, and he had to move for med school. Unfortunately you just have to go where you're accepted/match to. Right now we are 5.5 hours apart. Our hope is that he will match to a residency where I currently live so that we can finally move in together in a few years.

I can't really speak to what family life is like yet, but I suspect it will largely depend on what specialty the MD is in (and if the DVM specializes or not). Also will depend on the stage of career (resident vs. attending).

I personally love having a significant other who is medically-versed but is not a vet. He can relate but it's different enough that it's not completely the same.

Re: jobs, it will depend on whether you are interested in academia vs. private practice, and if the DVM is a specialist. I'm a surgeon so I'm more limited in where I can practice (academia or referral hospitals only), which means my boyfriend will likely have to accommodate me when it comes to his job search.
 
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May 19, 2019
7
3
Status
Veterinarian
SocialStigma sums it up pretty well, in the end one would have to accommodate the other (if both can’t have it all) so it really comes down to discussion. Situations are different for every couple.

My husband and i were also long distance, him in Cali and me in east Asia, and eventually the distance was unbearable so right after I graduated I packed my stuff, and joined him in the states. I threw away plans for doing DVM post grad training programs (like PAVE, which would make me move to another state) and went with my backup plans instead (part time vet clinic work + part time finance student + housewife + license test prep) which I enjoy a lot.

I’m lucky I don’t have any students loans to pay off though (or I might have done things differently?), vet school in east Asia really doesn’t cost much.
 

Dave1980

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Jan 25, 2007
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Probably the same as any relationship where both people work full time. Except for a few specialties MDs only work slightly longer hours than the average person.
 

BC_89

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Closing thread. Cross-posting is against SDN Terms of Service despite the topic covering to different professions within the same question. For continuation of discussion go to the following: