Making Decisions

[LadyInRed]

---

Members do not see this ad.

For those people lucky enough to have gotten accepted to more than 1 school, is anyone having trouble choosing between two or do most people have their top choice already set? If you are debating, what schools are you debating between? I thought this thread could be used for those people looking for the inside scoop on a couple schools to help make the decision easier, and then the spots they're holding can be quickly opened up for alternates. For those people who had an easy time deciding, what were your most important factors in making a decision?

 

[irish80122]

I had to debate a bit but I had a first choice all along which helped a lot. I am more than happy to help however I can, however.

 

[paramour]

hehe, I'm so glad I'm not one of you freaks (my mentor's term) who received multiple acceptances. 😎 I actually mentioned at the beginning of the process that I would rather have only one acceptance, simply so I would not have to choose between more than one program. Even though I was accepted to my top ranked program, I would still be here contemplating "what if I make the wrong decision?", particularly since there are certain aspects of other visited programs that I ended up liking better than my top choice . . . even though it still remained my top choice.

 

[amy203]

I was thinking about starting a thread on this!

I'm really struggling with deciding between several programs. They're all really great in their own ways and I'm sure things will work out whichever I choose, but I still need to make a decision! Soon!

Most of the advice I've gotten has fallen into 1 of 2 categories:
1) Make a list of pros and cons
2) Follow your gut

I'm mainly struggling with quality of life issues vs prestige of program and mentor issues. Plus, there's the husband to consider....

I'm not sure I trust my gut really - I'm worried it's easily swayed by nice weather and a pretty campus! On the other hand, my lists haven't been that helpful either. It's nice to have everything laid out, but I'm not going to base my final decision entirely on a spreadsheet.

It's been really helpful hearing how other people chose! Please post!

BTW - I'm only holding 2 clinical PhD offers (which I'm told is the "ethical number"). The other two are human development/social policy PhD programs.

 

[paramour]

I was thinking about starting a thread on this!

I'm really struggling with deciding between several programs. They're all really great in their own ways and I'm sure things will work out whichever I choose, but I still need to make a decision! Soon!

Most of the advice I've gotten has fallen into 1 of 2 categories:
1) Make a list of pros and cons
2) Follow your gut

I'm mainly struggling with quality of life issues vs prestige of program and mentor issues. Plus, there's the husband to consider....

I'm not sure I trust my gut really - I'm worried it's easily swayed by nice weather and a pretty campus! On the other hand, my lists haven't been that helpful either. It's nice to have everything laid out, but I'm not going to base my final decision entirely on a spreadsheet.

It's been really helpful hearing how other people chose! Please post!

BTW - I'm only holding 2 clinical PhD offers (which I'm told is the "ethical number"). The other two are human development/social policy PhD programs.

Amy, Have you decided whether you will at least choose one of your clinical programs or one of the non-clinical programs? Or still trying to figure it all out? Congrats again on your acceptances! And, g'luck with your decision.

EDIT: Just wanted to add, I feel silly admitting this but I actually felt slightly disappointed with my program simply because the building wasn't as aesthetically pleasing as some of the others I've visited. NOT that I would use this as a basis for my decision. 😀

 

[Sorg1123]

I started this process with a top choice in mind where I'm going to be attending, but I never thought I'd actually beat the odds and get in. I had four offers and had a tough time deciding nonetheless. Questions I ruminated on were, "Does this school have EVERYTHING I want in a program" (what does?), "Will I, did I make the right choice?" and other ones. I, like others, was hoping so much just to get one offer I never thought about how I would choose among some really good programs. I also thought that it would be easier to get only one acceptance so I wouldn't have any nagging doubts about my decision. It was quite nice though to be on the other side of this game and have schools competing for me. (I tried not to let that get to my head b/c I owe a lot to luck).

I looked at the financial package relative the cost of living, my 'fit' with the mentor, I considered quality of life for me and my spouse, my gut feeling of the school, my feelings about the school mascot, and the weather. After making my decision and turning down the other offers (each one of which was quite hard to do), I feel quite good about my choice though I do regret not getting to work with some of the really amazing people I met at the interviews. I tried to be systematic about it, but, in the end, I really had to go with where I felt most comfortable and where there are the best opportunities for my wife and I.

 

[Psyclops]

This may come off sounding harsh and like a lecture (which it is), so I apologize first. However, you should decide quickly. And shame on you if you are holding more than two offers. The time you take to decide is not only affecting you, but other students, labs, and even departments.

If you need help with the process think about this. What piece of information do you need that would help you decide or what piece of information is keeping you from deciding? I suggest you sit down, do some deep thinking about what that is, and either ask it of the programs, or if there isn't a good reason for you to keep dragging your feet, make a decision. I would not leave the decision of where to spend my next 5 years, the program from which I will launch my career, to this crowd.

To the OP: I am surprised that you had the good fortune of being admitted to a variety of programs yet just didn't seem prepared to be. What is holding you up from deciding? You keep starting these threads asking for the opinions of others on here. What is it that you wanted or looked for in a program? Is there anything that people could say on this board that would make your choice crystal clear? I don't think so.

 

[amy203]

I, like others, was hoping so much just to get one offer I never thought about how I would choose among some really good programs.

I remember, back in November, my boss asked what I would do if I got into both "top choice school A" and "top choice school B" and I was like "Um, pee my pants?" (He told me to stay out of his office if this occured). I was totally focused on just getting in somewhere

Well, it happened (and no, I didn't have any "accidents") and I'm not entirely sure how to deal with it now...

 

[Therapist4Chnge]

I remember, back in November, my boss asked what I would do if I got into both "top choice school A" and "top choice school B" and I was like "Um, pee my pants?" (He told me to stay out of his office if this occured). I was totally focused on just getting in somewhere

Well, it happened (and no, I didn't have any "accidents") and I'm not entirely sure how to deal with it now...

I'd thinking peeing your pants is still off the table...if not, you may have a wee bit to think about.

-t

 

[RayneeDeigh]

I'd thinking peeing your pants is still off the table...if not, you may have a wee bit to think about.

-t

hahaha you're so punny. 😛

 

[amy203]

This may come off sounding harsh and like a lecture (which it is), so I apologize first. However, you should decide quickly. And shame on you if you are holding more than two offers. The time you take to decide is not only affecting you, but other students, labs, and even departments.

If you need help with the process think about this. What piece of information do you need that would help you decide or what piece of information is keeping you from deciding? I suggest you sit down, do some deep thinking about what that is, and either ask it of the programs, or if there isn't a good reason for you to keep dragging your feet, make a decision. I would not leave the decision of where to spend my next 5 years, the program from which I will launch my career, to this crowd.

To the OP: I am surprised that you had the good fortune of being admitted to a variety of programs yet just didn't seem prepared to be. What is holding you up from deciding? You keep starting these threads asking for the opinions of others on here. What is it that you wanted or looked for in a program? Is there anything that people could say on this board that would make your choice crystal clear? I don't think so.

Good Lord, Psyclops, where did you come from!?!

I was expecting this type of response, even if it's not directed at me. The primary reason I'm holding multiple offers is because I still have a visitation weekend to attend (the human development programs are on a different schedule then the clinical programs. Also, they don't have interviews. You are accepted and then invited to a visitation/open house). The other schools/mentors are well aware of the situation and have told me to take my time. I'm planning to decide by next week (at least whittle it down to 2) and the end of the month at the latest.

Also, for a person who use to post on this forum like 20 times per day, you sure are being awfully dismissive of it. I've found it very helpful to hear other people's experiences with choosing programs. I've talked to a variety of other sources, but I'd like to hear what people here have to say as well.

 

[paramour]

. . .

 

[LadyInRed]

I started this process with a top choice in mind where I'm going to be attending, but I never thought I'd actually beat the odds and get in.

Exactly 🙂

This may come off sounding harsh and like a lecture (which it is), so I apologize first. However, you should decide quickly. And shame on you if you are holding more than two offers. The time you take to decide is not only affecting you, but other students, labs, and even departments.

If you need help with the process think about this. What piece of information do you need that would help you decide or what piece of information is keeping you from deciding? I suggest you sit down, do some deep thinking about what that is, and either ask it of the programs, or if there isn't a good reason for you to keep dragging your feet, make a decision. I would not leave the decision of where to spend my next 5 years, the program from which I will launch my career, to this crowd.

To the OP: I am surprised that you had the good fortune of being admitted to a variety of programs yet just didn't seem prepared to be. What is holding you up from deciding? You keep starting these threads asking for the opinions of others on here. What is it that you wanted or looked for in a program? Is there anything that people could say on this board that would make your choice crystal clear? I don't think so.

Psyclops, I'm glad the decision for you was a simple one, and I appreciate the response. Couple things...1) For the record, I'm only holding 2 offers: Washington University in St. Louis and Georgia State, both for neuropsych. Not sure who your comment about multiple schools was directed to. 2) The reason my decision is difficult is because I was not admitted to my top choice school (waitlisted, ugh! Still hopeful although last year no one was brought in off the alternate list). 3) While of course I would not leave my decision to a forum, the one thing that the forum does do is provide a perspective that you don't find talking to people at the school itself, who are of course extremely biased (yes, people on the forum are biased as well). As I mentioned in previous posts, I'm fairly new to neuropsych and reputation of schools is a difficult thing to judge, which is what I was personally hoping to gather a bit from this thread. All I'm doing is gathering information, not basing my final decision on whatever the next poster says. 4) Additionally, I did not think I was the only person who did not automatically have a first choice of the ones they were admitted to (thanks, Amy! 🙂 ) and as I mentioned, I figured this would be a good place for other people to discuss some of the concerns that they had. It's quite likely that on this forum there are students who go to these schools, or applied to these schools, or have other information about these schools that I (or any other one applicant) do not or was not able to gather from the 24 hours spent on one campus or the 3 phone calls made afterward.

 

[psychwanabe]

This may come off sounding harsh and like a lecture (which it is), so I apologize first. However, you should decide quickly. And shame on you if you are holding more than two offers. The time you take to decide is not only affecting you, but other students, labs, and even departments.

If you need help with the process think about this. What piece of information do you need that would help you decide or what piece of information is keeping you from deciding? I suggest you sit down, do some deep thinking about what that is, and either ask it of the programs, or if there isn't a good reason for you to keep dragging your feet, make a decision. I would not leave the decision of where to spend my next 5 years, the program from which I will launch my career, to this crowd.

To the OP: I am surprised that you had the good fortune of being admitted to a variety of programs yet just didn't seem prepared to be. What is holding you up from deciding? You keep starting these threads asking for the opinions of others on here. What is it that you wanted or looked for in a program? Is there anything that people could say on this board that would make your choice crystal clear? I don't think so.

Okay, so you are sounding unfortunately rude. Now here I am, on a waitlist for two of my schools (my top two choices), and my admittance status is depending on those people who are holding acceptances. However, I am not bitter about this or railing at those students for waiting to withdraw.

This is the system we are given to work with (much like the awful internship match process) and we have to do our best with it. If I were in their shoes, holding multiple offers but still waiting on my top choice to say yes or no, I would probably do the same thing. You have to know the contents of your entire hand before you can make a safe bet. Just because other people are waiting does not mean those students should hurry up their decisions. Everyone deserves the chance to consider carefully.

I have one acceptance at a program with which I am interested but not thrilled. I have not told them yes or no yet, and I won't until I hear for sure that I am not getting in to my higher-ranked schools. This is life, and it's the way it is. We don't control the way this system works, we just have to live with it.

And I think you need to chill out.

 

[Therapist4Chnge]

They system does indeed suck.

The internship matching system especially sucks! I wish they did it like med school and had Step scores so you could figure out a bit easier about placement...it seems like top candidates would be much less likely to fall through the cracks because of weird matches. Of course, with .6 applicants for every spot, I guess 'missing' a placement really doesn't happen in psychiatry. 🙁

-t

 

[tkj]

...

 

[psychopeful123]

Here's my two cents:

If you're into two schools, and you're on a waiting list for your top choice, I think it is most ethical to get rid of one of your offers, RELATIVELY quickly (i.e., ~1 week). This means that you're really only considering two schools, which is, where I think the ethics come in.

I think if you're holding two offers, and you're likely to turn them both down, it puts a lot of people in a bind. For instance, let's suppose that you have an offer from school X and School Y but you really want to go to school Z. From now until April 10 you hold onto X and Y. April 10, Z calls you, you accept. You promptly call X and Y and decline. X and Y move down their waitinglists. Someone on the waiting list has an offer abotu equivalent to X, so they sit on it for a couple days. It's now April 13, the alternate at X decides to go to the other school. They move down the waiting list again. Someone who's a second alternate at X has only had one mediocre offer, jumps at an April 13 offer. However, April 13 is a Friday. does the school the second alternate had in their pocket for 6 weeks still get to move down a waiting list? What if everyone has accepted already; by the time the second alternate gets to decline his/her first offer, it's late into the last weekend? Does that prof get stuck without a student? What if everyone on their waiting list has accepted offers?

The situation can be VERY complicated... I'd say only hold one offer at a time, and wait for those top choices.

That being said, this is a VERY demanding process... I feel for the decision makers out there. It's a big decision, but it has to be made eventuall.

Good luck to you decision makers!!

 

[serotonin]

I feel bad holding onto ONE offer! I really really love the program and department and really everything but the location, but I am waiting to hear back on my post-interview status at one school I like even MORE.

I seriously feel so guilty that that I can't give the first school a decision faster. They were so kind to me, gave me such fast feedback-- I got on offer the day after I interviewed, which was a month ago. I feel like I owe it to them. But there's really nothing I can do, other than send an email saying, "I'm still waiting on one last school, sorry this is taking so long!" or something to that effect.

 

[Salsybabe]

I'm holding two offers. I know where I want to go, but I'm waiting to hear about funding from that school. If I don't get adequate funding, I'll have to choose school #2 who has offered me good funding. I wish I could make a decision faster, but it'll take a few weeks to hear back from my first choice. I should know by the end of March what the deal is. That's the only thing holding me back from making a decision at this time.

 

[Psyclops]

I'm glad to see my comments were well received. Perhaps if I use a little more honey and a little less vinegar they would come accross more clearly.

I cetainly didn't want to imply that this is not a hard decision to make, or that this decision did not carry heavy consequences. However, I did want to point out your decision has consequences for others too. And to the extent that you are dilly dallying, picking petals off the flowers to help you decide (I'll go there, I'll go here not), rolling around in your acceptance letters on your bed, reading tea leaves, or otherwise wasting time, that really can affect alot of people in an adverse way. I also do not think that the magnitude of the decision necessarily makes it one that has to take a long time.

I also can not help but think, if a person is so new to the field that they are not sure where to go, or what kinds of reputations will matter, or what they are interested in, perhaps they should wait a year or two and apply again.

The only thing worse than making everyone way for no reason you ask? Taking a spot and then deciding after 4/15 or after the 1st year that it isn't for you. So, if 4/15 comes, and you are wafling, but you still have options that might materialize over the summer, don't accept you aren't ready and taht is fine, but don't punish a lab and department and another eager student for it. Or, if you are going just to see if it is something you want to do, don't. The time to figure out your interst in this path is before your first year. This isn't to say one can't change their mind, only that they sholdn't come in less than comitted.

I also will say that I think the process is not perfect, but a pretty good one. I think that interviews are in the best interst of both parties, those accepting and those applying.

 

[Psyclops]

I'm holding two offers. I know where I want to go, but I'm waiting to hear about funding from that school. If I don't get adequate funding, I'll have to choose school #2 who has offered me good funding. I wish I could make a decision faster, but it'll take a few weeks to hear back from my first choice. I should know by the end of March what the deal is. That's the only thing holding me back from making a decision at this time.

See, I think this is an excellent example of a reason to hold off making a decision. Not being sure about program ranking is not.

 

[Dr.Maybe]

However, I did want to point out your decision has consequences for others too. And to the extent that you are dilly dallying, picking petals off the flowers to help you decide (I'll go there, I'll go here not), rolling around in your acceptance letters on your bed, reading tea leaves, or otherwise wasting time, that really can affect alot of people in an adverse way. I also do not think that the magnitude of the decision necessarily makes it one that has to take a long time.

What you're saying is clear, Psyclops, and you raise a good point about how each individual's decision impacts others. But I'm not sure who you are directing your comments to on this forum, or why you seem so angry about it. As far as I can tell, no one who has posted is "wasting time" or just "dilly dallying" - everyone is expressing good reasons why they are holding offers, such as waiting to hear about funding or waiting to hear from their top choice school.

Like a previous poster, I have no offers yet and am waitlisted at two schools (at least! I'm still waiting to hear from 2 others). I'm definitely listening for the phone and checking my email obsessively, but it hasn't even occured to me to be upset at the people who have been extended offers. They are waiting like I am on things that are outside of their control. We're all in this together, really.

 

[psychRA]

The admissions process doesn't automatically end on April 15th - if someone turns down a program on that day, the school can still offer their spot to the next person on the waitlist.

I do think that you shouldn't be holding an offer that you're not considering, but there's a reason that we're allowed some time to think this over. It's a huge decision! You're not doing a program any favors if you accept their offer prematurely and then end up being unhappy there. I am absoutely torn between the 2 offers I am holding right now (I declined my other offers very quickly, FWIW). I'm not going to make a decision until I've talked with both POIs and their students again to ask them some final questions. Maybe that might help you decide as well?

 

[psychopeful123]

Guys,

I feel like this thread has a lot of animosity, and none of the other threads on this forum do. This is NOT the fault of one member! However, I move that we make an effort to be supportive. We are all in this nightmare together. Clinical psych admissions are outrageous. We don't need to add to the stress by fighting with each other.

 

[psychwanabe]

Guys,

I feel like this thread has a lot of animosity, and none of the other threads on this forum do. This is NOT the fault of one member! However, I move that we make an effort to be supportive. We are all in this nightmare together. Clinical psych admissions are outrageous. We don't need to add to the stress by fighting with each other.

🙄 lol, so your focus is conflict resolution? You are absolutely right. Maybe all the stress is getting to us?

I was told yesterday that I am very (emphasis hers) high on the waiting list at my top choice. At another top choice of mine, my POI told me that it was between me and one other person. It sucks that I have to delay my decision on my one offer (so far) until I hear from the others, but the sad truth is that if I don't get what I REALLY want, I will take the offer in hand. Like Serotonin, I hate that some student is out there in torture because they haven't heard a word, or they are on a waitlist for that school I'm holdling. But I can't decide until I have all the information. When I said the system is the issue, I guess what I meant is more the whole "April 15th" thing. What might be better is if the deadline for the schools to notify was April 1st, and the deadline for the first round of answers was 15 days later and final answers 15 days after that. That would give everyone more time to get all the offers, make decisions, move down waitlists, etc.

Why don't they put me in charge!! I'll fix it!

 

[ilikepsych]

Right now I am holding two offers because my top choice hasn't told me about funding or mentorship but I love the program and love it for quality of life issues as well. Then today, I just got a call from another school asking me to interview on march 27th (they had interviews a few weeks ago and I was "waitlisted to interview"). I love this program as well! If either of these two schools offer me decent funding, I would reject my other offer but just can't do that until I find out. I feel terrible because I got my other offer almost a month ago and they have been so considerate and generous of me. I want to make a decision ASAP not only for the welfare of other appliacants, but also for my own peace of mind, but theres no way I can make it right now!

 

[Therapist4Chnge]

The system is the system....do what is best for you, and then let the chips fall where they may. I'm a considerate person, but if put in the same position I'd do whatever answer the following question: "What decision best meets my needs at this point in time?"

-t

 

[amy203]

Amy, Have you decided whether you will at least choose one of your clinical programs or one of the non-clinical programs? Or still trying to figure it all out? Congrats again on your acceptances! And, g'luck with your decision. QUOTE]

Thanks paramour!

I'm pretty sure I'm going to end up choosing a clinical program. There are a lot of fantastic things about the human development programs (training in public policy research, awesome methodological training, interdisciplinary faculty, developmental perspective), but I'm worried I won't get enough training in psychopathology. I think it will be much easier to pick up the public policy training from sources within a clinical program or later in my career than it would be to gain an in-depth understanding of developmental psychopathology. Also, although I'm not interested in career as a clinician, a lot of people have told me that clinical training really informed their research.

 

[amy203]

So I figured I'd just put this out there and see what people think (plus it might help me to write it down):

Here's where I'm at with the clinical programs. First of all, they are both great programs. If I had only gotten into one, I would still be completely psyched right now (no pun intended&#8230😉 I keep reminding myself to be happy! Still have to make a decision though...

Anyway, one program is somewhat better than the other in several ways: 1) My potential advisor at school A is somewhat more influential than the other, although they both have tenure, have authored/edited books, are APA fellows, etc. I've had a few people tell me I am crazy for even considering not working with mentor from school A, but others have told me it's not that big of a deal. 2) School A is also somewhat more respected than school B although, again, they're both highly ranked, good faculty, good program, blah. I'm not sure how important rank actually is... 3) I have a somewhat better research fit with the potential mentor from school A. Really, it's perfect fit. The fit with potential mentor B is good too though - she is focused on developmental psychopathology and parenting, which is what I want to study. It's just not quite as perfect.

So, if it were just me, I'd probably go with school A.

HOWEVER - My husband is not thrilled about the location for school A. It's in a big city and he could find a job, but maybe not in his preferred field. Also, the weather is really, really bad. On the other hand, the location for school B would be perfect - good weather and he already has a fantastic job secured there. I should probably add that the husband is a bit less career oriented than me and he'd live if he had to change fields and he might still find a similar job in city A, but I'm still not sure if school A is worth it.

I'm very aware that we're probably going to have to go through all of this multiple times before we actually get to "settle down" in one place. I'll have to get through internship, maybe a post-doc, and then, hopefully, find an academic position. One theory I have is that I should pick school A (with the very influential mentor) and work my butt off for 5 years, thus increasing our odds of being able to settle permanently in a place with a temperate climate and a good job market. However, there's a good change I could still do this at school B.

These thoughts have been swirling in my head for weeks now. I'm stuck.

So, there you go internet. Highly personal problem and I'm basing my decision entirely on your response. Go to it!

(Just in case anyone missed it - the above statement is obviously a joke. I will consult other sources, but I appreciate your input. Thanks!)

 

[RayneeDeigh]

So I figured I'd just put this out there and see what people think (plus it might help me to write it down):

Here's where I'm at with the clinical programs. First of all, they are both great programs. If I had only gotten into one, I would still be completely psyched right now (no pun intended…) I keep reminding myself to be happy! Still have to make a decision though...

Anyway, one program is somewhat better than the other in several ways: 1) My potential advisor at school A is somewhat more influential than the other, although they both have tenure, have authored/edited books, are APA fellows, etc. I've had a few people tell me I am crazy for even considering not working with mentor from school A, but others have told me it's not that big of a deal. 2) School A is also somewhat more respected than school B although, again, they're both highly ranked, good faculty, good program, blah. I'm not sure how important rank actually is... 3) I have a somewhat better research fit with the potential mentor from school A. Really, it's perfect fit. The fit with potential mentor B is good too though - she is focused on developmental psychopathology and parenting, which is what I want to study. It's just not quite as perfect.

So, if it were just me, I'd probably go with school A.

HOWEVER - My husband is not thrilled about the location for school A. It's in a big city and he could find a job, but maybe not in his preferred field. Also, the weather is really, really bad. On the other hand, the location for school B would be perfect - good weather and he already has a fantastic job secured there. I should probably add that the husband is a bit less career oriented than me and he'd live if he had to change fields and he might still find a similar job in city A, but I'm still not sure if school A is worth it.

I'm very aware that we're probably going to have to go through all of this multiple times before we actually get to "settle down" in one place. I'll have to get through internship, maybe a post-doc, and then, hopefully, find an academic position. One theory I have is that I should pick school A (with the very influential mentor) and work my butt off for 5 years, thus increasing our odds of being able to settle permanently in a place with a temperate climate and a good job market. However, there's a good change I could still do this at school B.

These thoughts have been swirling in my head for weeks now. I'm stuck.

So, there you go internet. Highly personal problem and I'm basing my decision entirely on your response. Go to it!

(Just in case anyone missed it - the above statement is obviously a joke. I will consult other sources, but I appreciate your input. Thanks!)

Can I ask the area the school with the bad weather is in?

I've lived in Canada my whole life (in fact, in a city that is notoriously cold and snowy for at least six months of every year) so I can tell you for sure that any climate is liveable. You'd get used to it... and I personally think that a crappy climate for 4-5 years is worth the great education.

As for the husband thing, I'm kind of the "screw you, I'm doing it MY way" type so don't take my advice on that. There's a reason I'm single.

I say go with school A because it seems like it's a better program, and you managed to get in (congrats!) so why not? I mean if your husband isn't opposed in a huge way, that is.

I hate giving advice though. I'm sure you'll make the right choice for you!

 

[paramour]

So I figured I'd just put this out there and see what people think (plus it might help me to write it down):

Here's where I'm at with the clinical programs. First of all, they are both great programs. If I had only gotten into one, I would still be completely psyched right now (no pun intended&#8230😉 I keep reminding myself to be happy! Still have to make a decision though...

Anyway, one program is somewhat better than the other in several ways: 1) My potential advisor at school A is somewhat more influential than the other, although they both have tenure, have authored/edited books, are APA fellows, etc. I've had a few people tell me I am crazy for even considering not working with mentor from school A, but others have told me it's not that big of a deal. 2) School A is also somewhat more respected than school B although, again, they're both highly ranked, good faculty, good program, blah. I'm not sure how important rank actually is... 3) I have a somewhat better research fit with the potential mentor from school A. Really, it's perfect fit. The fit with potential mentor B is good too though - she is focused on developmental psychopathology and parenting, which is what I want to study. It's just not quite as perfect.

So, if it were just me, I'd probably go with school A.

HOWEVER - My husband is not thrilled about the location for school A. It's in a big city and he could find a job, but maybe not in his preferred field. Also, the weather is really, really bad. On the other hand, the location for school B would be perfect - good weather and he already has a fantastic job secured there. I should probably add that the husband is a bit less career oriented than me and he'd live if he had to change fields and he might still find a similar job in city A, but I'm still not sure if school A is worth it.

I'm very aware that we're probably going to have to go through all of this multiple times before we actually get to "settle down" in one place. I'll have to get through internship, maybe a post-doc, and then, hopefully, find an academic position. One theory I have is that I should pick school A (with the very influential mentor) and work my butt off for 5 years, thus increasing our odds of being able to settle permanently in a place with a temperate climate and a good job market. However, there's a good change I could still do this at school B.

These thoughts have been swirling in my head for weeks now. I'm stuck.

So, there you go internet. Highly personal problem and I'm basing my decision entirely on your response. Go to it!

(Just in case anyone missed it - the above statement is obviously a joke. I will consult other sources, but I appreciate your input. Thanks!)

I'm a completely selfish biotch--if school A is obviously the better choice & fit, I would be going to school A. So, go there NOW. Do it. Do it now, I say!

But then again, that may just be me.

I am married as well and we're actually going to end up doing the whole long distance commuting crap again for at least the first year, maybe longer depending. It sucks but there are a number of factors going into this, including the fact that husband dearest absolutely hates the location. But, I also knew this beforehand. Did it sway me in my applications? Nope. Absolutely not. He was aware of this and actually advised me not to allow his preferences to sway my decisions. Now some of you may think that my husband is also a selfish prick for not wanting to move based solely upon location, but there really is more to it than this . . . including problems with his employment, our child's schooling, selling the current house, etc. I'm simply sparing you more of my rambling. We're not completely bonkers! 😀

 

[paramour]

Can I ask the area the school with the bad weather is in?

I've lived in Canada my whole life (in fact, in a city that is notoriously cold and snowy for at least six months of every year) so I can tell you for sure that any climate is liveable. You'd get used to it... and I personally think that a crappy climate for 4-5 years is worth the great education.

As for the husband thing, I'm kind of the "screw you, I'm doing it MY way" type so don't take my advice on that. There's a reason I'm single.

I say go with school A because it seems like it's a better program, and you managed to get in (congrats!) so why not? I mean if your husband isn't opposed in a huge way, that is.

I hate giving advice though. I'm sure you'll make the right choice for you!

Geeze, are we always repeating one another on here or what? You a twin or a sister I don't know about?

I agree though . . . crappy climates be damned. I'm actually looking forward to the weather change though.

 

[Therapist4Chnge]

I guess being single isn't half bad!

I had a had enough time with the process and decision making...let alone dealing with a sig other.

-t

 

[RayneeDeigh]

I swear we must be related somehow, Paramour!

I really admire people who can juggle relationships and a psych education. I tend to be a jerkmagnet so until that changes I'm gonna be a selfish career-driven bitch (probably until I die, haha)

 

[Thor2211]

I went on interviews for 5 clinical Ph.D programs. I ended up receiving offers from all 5 schools. I am basically an interview machine🙂 Anyway, I made my decision today and notified the school. I plan to let the other schools that I do not plan to attend tomorrow...

 

[Dizzie]

What would these discarded schools be if you dont mind me asking? Possibly will open up some seats for the rest of us non-machines

 

[amy203]

Also, a little bit more info on how you chose would be nice...
Thanks and Congrats!

 

[amy203]

Can I ask the area the school with the bad weather is in?

I've lived in Canada my whole life (in fact, in a city that is notoriously cold and snowy for at least six months of every year) so I can tell you for sure that any climate is liveable. You'd get used to it... and I personally think that a crappy climate for 4-5 years is worth the great education.

As for the husband thing, I'm kind of the "screw you, I'm doing it MY way" type so don't take my advice on that. There's a reason I'm single.

I say go with school A because it seems like it's a better program, and you managed to get in (congrats!) so why not? I mean if your husband isn't opposed in a huge way, that is.

I hate giving advice though. I'm sure you'll make the right choice for you!

I am weirdly paranoid about actually listing the schools. It's basically Canadian weather.

Husband is the one with weather issues - I figure I'll be inside working most of them time anyway. Climate isn't as big an issue as the job market, but I'm sure I'd feel some extra guilt on days when it's 20 below!

 

[Thor2211]

Oklahoma State University, Southern Illinois at Carbondale, Texas Tech, Tennessee,

There is no way to explain or give advice on how to choose at program. You just have a gut feeling. In my case location played a big part in my decision, but moreso seeing yourself hanging out with the graduate students and doing what they are doing in their program plays a big part. I got along with the students and faculty at 2 schools way more than the other three. The graduate students at a couple of the schools were, for lack of a better term, kind of losers and I couldn't see myself hanging out with them.

 

[paramour]

I went on interviews for 5 clinical Ph.D programs. I ended up receiving offers from all 5 schools. I am basically an interview machine🙂 Anyway, I made my decision today and notified the school. I plan to let the other schools that I do not plan to attend tomorrow...

Whoa, dude! Awesome! I envy you, but then again, I don't . . . 🙂

 

[psychwanabe]

I can certainly sympathize with those of you making decisions when there's a spouse involved. I've been accepted to two schools where I wouldn't have to move, and I am waitlisted on one where I would. All other factors aside, I LOVED the one that would require relocation. If it were in my backyard, as the other two are, there would be no contest at all.

Of course, it's a moot point until I get accepted, but my husband and I have been batting this around for months - as I chose the schools to apply for. Someone said earlier that they did not consider their spouse when applying. Well, I am lucky enough to have a husband who said "it's your turn, I'll follow you where ever you go." And so I applied very broadly. I am the one with the issues about moving though.

But my advice is what I keep telling myself: weather be damned! Moving be damned! It's a tiny piece out of your life, but I would go with the program that suits you best and where you feel the most comfortable. If you have to commute for a while, DO IT. Grad school is going to be hard: you want to be where you (mentally, emotionally, educationally) will get the most, fit the best, and have the greatest chance of success.

 

[Anticip]

I am weirdly paranoid about actually listing the schools. It's basically Canadian weather.

Husband is the one with weather issues - I figure I'll be inside working most of them time anyway. Climate isn't as big an issue as the job market, but I'm sure I'd feel some extra guilt on days when it's 20 below!

I think that's actually a harder call than a lot of people would think initially. Considering that your husband will be your main source of support while you're doing all of your research and writing your thesis, if he's quietly resentful of the Ph.D. process it could end up really stressful for you two. I am in a similar situation right now, but frankly, if I'm choosing between really good school A where my husband would be happy and really good school B where my husband wouldn't be happy, I think it's really only fair to him to go with B.

My (somewhat unpopular) 2 cents.

 

[Anticip]

I think that's actually a harder call than a lot of people would think initially. Considering that your husband will be your main source of support while you're doing all of your research and writing your thesis, if he's quietly resentful of the Ph.D. process it could end up really stressful for you two. I am in a similar situation right now, but frankly, if I'm choosing between really good school A where my husband would be happy and really good school B where my husband wouldn't be happy, I think it's really only fair to him to go with B.

My (somewhat unpopular) 2 cents.

Okay, apparently too early in the morning for me to form a cogent sentence. What that last sentence is supposed to be saying is, if you really like both programs, I think quality of life for yourself and your husband is an important factor.

(Particularly because in my experience, school and advisor prestige don't really matter much when it comes down to it-- and less prestigious advisors can also be a lot more responsive and available, and better to work with in general.)

 

[cleverclover]

I have narrowed my choice down to two schools. But the problem I am facing is that school A is offering me full funding(tuition and stipend), but is not quite as well known as school B and does not have as many opportunites for practicum. If I were to attend school B, I would probably have to take out about 40,000 in loans to pay for tuition. Plus additional money to pay for cost of living. So, is it worth it to spend an extra 40-50,000 to attend a school that may give you a slightly better education and has a better reputation?

 

[bp2007]

I have narrowed my choice down to two schools. But the problem I am facing is that school A is offering me full funding(tuition and stipend), but is not quite as well known as school B and does not have as many opportunites for practicum. If I were to attend school B, I would probably have to take out about 40,000 in loans to pay for tuition. Plus additional money to pay for cost of living. So, is it worth it to spend an extra 40-50,000 to attend a school that may give you a slightly better education and has a better reputation?

I am facing a similar situation and think that I will go with the school that is offering the full funding. We won't make enough money afterwards to make the debt worth it! If one is offering full tuition and stipend, and the other isn't even offering full tuition that is a HUGE financial difference.

 

[psychRA]

Unless there is an appreciable difference in the reputations training of the two programs, I would definitely go with the school that's offering you full funding! If you factor in living expenses at a bare minimum of $15,000 a year, you're facing at least $100k in loans by the time you finish. At least for me, there are few (if any) programs that would be strong enough to warrant taking on such a substantial financial burden.

 

[psychanon]

Unless there is an appreciable difference in the reputations training of the two programs, I would definitely go with the school that's offering you full funding! If you factor in living expenses at a bare minimum of $15,000 a year, you're facing at least $100k in loans by the time you finish. At least for me, there are few (if any) programs that would be strong enough to warrant taking on such a substantial financial burden.

Plus, since most good schools are fully-funded, I can't think of any non-fully funded schools that are better than fully-funded schools. DEFINITELY go for the fully-funded one. It's a no-brainer. It would be a big mistake to go into debt when you don't have to.

 

[Duckygirl]

I have narrowed my choice down to two schools. But the problem I am facing is that school A is offering me full funding(tuition and stipend), but is not quite as well known as school B and does not have as many opportunites for practicum. If I were to attend school B, I would probably have to take out about 40,000 in loans to pay for tuition. Plus additional money to pay for cost of living. So, is it worth it to spend an extra 40-50,000 to attend a school that may give you a slightly better education and has a better reputation?

Tough call, Cleverclover! My gut, I believe, would tell me to go for the money. I also agree that reputation just doesn't matter all that much. I've posted elsewhere on the forum about my clinical supervisor who attended THE top-ranked school in the country at the time (he graduated in '79 or '80), and attended Princeton as an undergrad. His opinion about reputation is that IT JUST DOESN'T MATTER. He claims most of his graduate professors and advisors were extremely influential and well-known, but at the same time, they were totally unprofessional and operated pretty unethically. So, I guess the lesson here is that reputation only carries so much weight.
Additionally, $40,000 at the end of a graduate program just ain't all that bad. I came out with about $32,000 in loans from undergrad and my MA, and it just doesn't bother me that much (I'm paying it off!) There are A LOT of applicants who will accept offers this year without good funding. Hell, we just took a resident at our clinic who graduated with a PsyD who came out with $200,000 in loans! Plus, you said you'd have a stipend (although maybe it's small). My point here is that if you will be attending either of the institutions you are considering, you will come out quite successful, and you will certainly have the time and money to pay off the $40,000 sometime in your life. The bigger question is- is it worth it?
Tough, though, tough! Good luck to you!

 

[psydplease]

okay, i have a bit of a dilemma. Ive been accepted to a school which is not my number one choice but have been put on the waiting list for my first choice school. The director of the program said we wont hear until april 15th regarding the waitlist. So do I accept at the other school? Or do I wait to hear back from my top choice? What if I accept at the other school and then find out ive been accepted at my top choice?? is it even possible to decline after april 15th? is it highly frowned upon?

ahh!!! i hate this!!!

 

[irish80122]

okay, i have a bit of a dilemma. Ive been accepted to a school which is not my number one choice but have been put on the waiting list for my first choice school. The director of the program said we wont hear until april 15th regarding the waitlist. So do I accept at the other school? Or do I wait to hear back from my top choice? What if I accept at the other school and then find out ive been accepted at my top choice?? is it even possible to decline after april 15th? is it highly frowned upon?

ahh!!! i hate this!!!

DON'T ACCEPT!!! Wait until you know on your first choice school and if you have to make a decision on the 15th. If you need more time, ask the program and see if they will be understanding!