Making Friends in Medical School

Discover Your Odds of Getting into Medical School
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mreyno18

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Long Story about me -- if you want to skip, my question is bolded at the bottom...

I had tons of friends in high school -- really close friend groups from 2 different sports and a super tight-knit group of friends that were really involved in my church / FCA. Every night of the week I had things going on including sports, clubs, church things, etc. and then on the weekends, I was invited to so many things I would always have to pick and choose or try and attend a chunk of each! It was also great because I was not and am not the partying type of person - it was never something I found fun. However, all my great friends and groups didn't party or drink. Our get-togethers consisted of cooking/baking, movies, bonfires, play sports, worship jam sessions, lake days, playing broomball, board games, bible studies, shopping, etc. That was heaven.

Then I got to college and I thought that I would make a bunch of friends who liked to do the things that I did. I don't know if covid is partially to blame because my sport has been semi-canceled, along with clubs, my ministry, etc..... but I never found those people. I have friends on the team who I like to spend time with during practice and we have a blast when we go to meets for the whole Saturday and are on the bus/at the track/eating out. However, they still like to party along with the rest of the team and that's not something I do, so our friendship never really expanded beyond fun at meets. My ministry friends are all dating people -- so as a single it's hard to get invited to the couple nights and events. Also, most of my clubs are not allowed to meet in person, so I never really got to continue to build those relationships.

During college, I worked at a summer church camp for 3 months and it was absolutely amazing! Great work, but more importantly the people I met! Every other college student working there was so fun to hang out with, it felt like high school again and I had my people. Never went home that summer because I didn't want to! There was so much fun to be had with those amazing people! However, none of them go to my same college or anywhere near, so our relationships are purely digital, besides one girl I do still talk to.

Sophomore year and this year (Junior) has been really rough. I feel lonely all the time. Despite covid, my teammates are still out partying, but my clubs and ministry can't meet in person, so I rarely get to interact with people I know and like besides practice. I was never someone to miss home ever during high school, freshman year of college, or the summer at camp, but something changed. Now I want to go home every weekend, which isn't plausible as it's 3 hrs away. But I call my family and hometown friends all the time because I am so sad and alone. It's not fun to feel like you don't relate to anyone...

My fear is that I won't find friends that are like me and I don't know if I can endure 4 more years of feeling lonely like I do now, especially if I go to a medical school that's even further from my hometown friends and my family... So long story short, I am curious about what medical school is like? Do people like my high school and camp friends exist? Do people find friends who like to do things like them or are most people partiers and drinkers like college? (I know they are legal, but just not my vibe) But *no offense* not the straight-up nerdy type either, not socially awkward, too smart it's annoying types. I am wondering if there are any normal people who are smart but like to have fun, be sporty/outdoorsy, laugh, maybe are Christians, play board games, shop, bake, etc...
 
It depends on the medical school - I interviewed at one that sounded like a lot of people get together and go hiking or do other “wholesome” things on the weekends. My current school people are nice but not everyone is involved socially (might be due to COVID19). Not a big party vibe here - most people will be too busy with school to go out every weekend. I’ve heard that depends on the school though.

This is a great question to ask at interviews and particularly if there are current students to talk to.

It’s also important to remember that you can find and build your own community. It seems like you’re involved with your church. If it’s a widely practiced religion, see if there’s one near the school. If you’re into board games and baking, see if you can start clubs that would attract like minded folks. We’ve also become very comfortable wth zoom over the past year. Maybe some of your old friends would be up for a Netflix party or virtual bake off. Hope this helps.
 
Yeah, you'll definitely find someone.
that being said, when asking a question, i suggest avoiding vocab like "But *no offense* not the straight-up nerdy type either, not socially awkward, too smart it's annoying types. I am wondering if there are any normal people".. us, "nerdy types" might take offense. hahahah
 
mreyno18 said:
Long Story about me -- if you want to skip, my question is bolded at the bottom...

I had tons of friends in high school -- really close friend groups from 2 different sports and a super tight-knit group of friends that were really involved in my church / FCA. Every night of the week I had things going on including sports, clubs, church things, etc. and then on the weekends, I was invited to so many things I would always have to pick and choose or try and attend a chunk of each! It was also great because I was not and am not the partying type of person - it was never something I found fun. However, all my great friends and groups didn't party or drink. Our get-togethers consisted of cooking/baking, movies, bonfires, play sports, worship jam sessions, lake days, playing broomball, board games, bible studies, shopping, etc. That was heaven.

Then I got to college and I thought that I would make a bunch of friends who liked to do the things that I did. I don't know if covid is partially to blame because my sport has been semi-canceled, along with clubs, my ministry, etc..... but I never found those people. I have friends on the team who I like to spend time with during practice and we have a blast when we go to meets for the whole Saturday and are on the bus/at the track/eating out. However, they still like to party along with the rest of the team and that's not something I do, so our friendship never really expanded beyond fun at meets. My ministry friends are all dating people -- so as a single it's hard to get invited to the couple nights and events. Also, most of my clubs are not allowed to meet in person, so I never really got to continue to build those relationships.

During college, I worked at a summer church camp for 3 months and it was absolutely amazing! Great work, but more importantly the people I met! Every other college student working there was so fun to hang out with, it felt like high school again and I had my people. Never went home that summer because I didn't want to! There was so much fun to be had with those amazing people! However, none of them go to my same college or anywhere near, so our relationships are purely digital, besides one girl I do still talk to.

Sophomore year and this year (Junior) has been really rough. I feel lonely all the time. Despite covid, my teammates are still out partying, but my clubs and ministry can't meet in person, so I rarely get to interact with people I know and like besides practice. I was never someone to miss home ever during high school, freshman year of college, or the summer at camp, but something changed. Now I want to go home every weekend, which isn't plausible as it's 3 hrs away. But I call my family and hometown friends all the time because I am so sad and alone. It's not fun to feel like you don't relate to anyone...

My fear is that I won't find friends that are like me and I don't know if I can endure 4 more years of feeling lonely like I do now, especially if I go to a medical school that's even further from my hometown friends and my family... So long story short, I am curious about what medical school is like? Do people like my high school and camp friends exist? Do people find friends who like to do things like them or are most people partiers and drinkers like college? (I know they are legal, but just not my vibe) But *no offense* not the straight-up nerdy type either, not socially awkward, too smart it's annoying types. I am wondering if there are any normal people who are smart but like to have fun, be sporty/outdoorsy, laugh, maybe are Christians, play board games, shop, bake, etc...
Click to expand...
This is a great question, and you’ll get a small exposure to your future classmates during interviews. Personally, school vibe is one of the major factors, and I could tell some schools had interviewees who were shy but very competitive, while others had more chill, relaxed vibe. I prefer the latter. Also, it’s different by your class. I went to a top 15 undergrad, and my class was very competitive, but the class after my year was SUPER chill and easier to hang out with.

With that being said, I think you would be a great fit to a lot of southern schools, located in cities that have similar religious view of life as you: Vanderbilt, Emory, UAB, UTHSC, Georgia, UF, etc.
 
Matthew9Thirtyfive said:
A bit of a cherry pick. It didn’t seem like he was saying people who aren’t Christian aren’t normal, but was just adding that on there, hence the “maybe.”
Click to expand...
His question seems a little ridiculous no? Do people in medical school shop?? Do med students like to have fun?? Do med students find friends who like to do things like them??

I think they are forgetting that med students are just people and do normal things, they themselves being a future med student. It's school, not a homogenous blob of personalities

mreyno18 said:
Do people find friends who like to do things like them or are most people partiers and drinkers like college? (I know they are legal, but just not my vibe) But *no offense* not the straight-up nerdy type either, not socially awkward, too smart it's annoying types. I am wondering if there are any normal people who are smart but like to have fun, be sporty/outdoorsy, laugh, maybe are Christians, play board games, shop, bake, etc...
Click to expand...
 
Cheezin said:
His question seems a little ridiculous no? Do people in medical school shop?? Do med students like to have fun?? Do med students find friends who like to do things like them??

I think they are forgetting that med students are just people and do normal things, they themselves being a future med student. It's school, not a homogenous blob of personalities
Click to expand...
I get that this question sounds a little dumb, but I also assumed I would be able to find people like this in undergrad and was unsuccessful. I mean there are lots of reasons that attribute to that, but medical school classes are very small and it is a fear of mine that I will not find people like me. People who do "wholesome activities" (as someone wrote). I am afraid that it will be all studying and partying and that's not what I want in an atmosphere.
 
mreyno18 said:
I get that this question sounds a little dumb, but I also assumed I would be able to find people like this in undergrad and was unsuccessful. I mean there are lots of reasons that attribute to that, but medical school classes are very small and it is a fear of mine that I will not find people like me. People who do "wholesome activities" (as someone wrote). I am afraid that it will be all studying and partying and that's not what I want in an atmosphere.
Click to expand...
To me it just seems like covid is getting to you. There is a lot to unpack but surely you realize that 4.0 frat boys and sorority girls are not the typical med students. People everywhere do your wholesome activities. Maybe be open to new types of relationships beyond those found at high school and religious camps, or join a ministry as a pastor and you can find greater exposure there.

I really don't think not finding some friends in med school is your issue. If you knew you didn't find your perfect friends in college would you have skipped college? That said I feel for you and relate to much of what you said but maybe focus on more realistic outlets, friendships and surviving covid instead of idealized relationships from the past.
 
i mean are you really not going to go to med school bc a lot of med students drink and party? how is the answer to this question going to change anything in your life? genuinely curious
 
See if the schools you’re accepted to has a CMDA chapter (Christian Medical/Dental Association)...if it does, there you go, built-in like-minded students. If it does not, start one yourself, and attract Christian medical students to the group.

Once you’re accepted somewhere, reach out on the class Facebook page to your future classmates. Have a dog? Suggest a meet up at the local dog park. Love to play volleyball/basketball/soccer/disc golf? Get a group together for that. Want to meet up on the mornings before exams to share a Scripture and pray together? Post up a time and place, and people will show up.

I’m not an extrovert by any means, but most students are looking to make new friends at the start of medical school, and almost all of them are a little worried that they’ll feel left out and alone. Keep being the one to put suggestions out there, and before long you’ll have more invites than you have time.
 
You'll find people. But I'd honestly recommend making friends outside of school. I only have like 1 or two friends from school and I'm glad I put more energy into social circles outside of it. I enjoy having friends with jobs in different fields. It's more interesting to me because otherwise it just devolves into school talk.

Since you're a Christian, find a church and befriend people there.
 
If you want a school that has a good sized Christian student population without alcohol issues, perhaps consider Loma Linda? They're as Christian as it gets and if I remember correctly, you're not supposed to drink
 
Sky138 said:
If you want a school that has a good sized Christian student population without alcohol issues, perhaps consider Loma Linda? They're as Christian as it gets and if I remember correctly, you're not supposed to drink
Click to expand...

They aren’t as Christian as it gets. Christianity isn’t about forcing people to be sober and dictating how they explore and grow their relationship with God by forcing them to go to a certain church. Some Christians would be okay with that. Many wouldn’t.
 
Be open to meeting new types of people. If you’re going to be a doctor, one of your main jobs is talking to strangers about intimate topics so get used to the fact that not everyone will line up with your train of thought. My closest friends in Med school are nothing like me and that’s ok cause I learned a lot about different peoples experiences through life. Don’t take it so seriously
 
You don't have to just be friends with your classmates. Many schools are attached to undergrads or other health profession schools where you can always find fun people. You can also be part of several community organizations where you can help find your 'tribe.'

To be perfectly honest I rarely hang out with anyone from my class (dental student). Most of them do activities I am uncomfortable with, esp drinking etc. However I have a large group of friends from outside of school, and within my school. Two of my best friends are both MS4s and a path and gen surg resident. Doesn't matter. Go explore and meet people, join clubs and activities, humans are humans. You may be surprised who you end up being life long friends with
 
PerioDont said:
You don't have to just be friends with your classmates. Many schools are attached to undergrads or other health profession schools where you can always find fun people. You can also be part of several community organizations where you can help find your 'tribe.'

To be perfectly honest I rarely hang out with anyone from my class (dental student). Most of them do activities I am uncomfortable with, esp drinking etc. However I have a large group of friends from outside of school, and within my school. Two of my best friends are both MS4s and a path and gen surg resident. Doesn't matter. Go explore and meet people, join clubs and activities, humans are humans. You may be surprised who you end up being life long friends with
Click to expand...

Exactly. I literally hang out with one person from my class. My other friends aren’t even in medicine or medical school.
 
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