I come to you all from a small cubicle in southern PA to ask for an assessment of my situation. I've been on a long road with many curves that has lead me to a state of regret. For roughly 6 years I knew I wanted to become a doctor. I worked through college and did my best to learn the ins and outs of being a doctor. I graduated from college and managed to obtain a position as an intraoperative Neuromonitoring technologist at a hospital, where I got to work with neurosurgeons and orthopedic surgeons everyday. Everything was great. The only thing I needed to do is take my MCAT and apply. A little while after I started at the hospital I found I wasn't studying nearly enough as I should to prepare for the exam so I got cold feet and cancelled my reservation to take the MCAT. It was the first time I really doubted my goal of becoming a doctor. Maybe it was reactionary, but I started to look for other jobs not in the medical field. Fast forward a month, and I was still being drawn towards becoming a doctor. I loved the idea of applying medical knowledge to help people heal. The job at the hospital was stressful but still enjoyable. I once again signed up to take the MCAT with a new drive to study and get it out of the way. That time I studied much harder than the time before but still was doubting myself. After 2 months of studying I gave up again and cancelled my MCAT. I thought, "well, I guess I'm not cut out for being a doctor. I should find a different job." So, I moved back home and started working a sales job at a local company. I have been doing this for almost two months and I have to say, I had it good before. I'm still drawn towards medicine and now, again, I'm thinking I should still try to become a doctor. At the least I should take the MCAT to see how I do (after I study). It wouldn't be hard for me to get my Neuromonitoring job back, so that is still an option. I have all my letters of recommendation ready. The only thing I need is a finished personal statement and my MCAT score. This indecision and doubt I'm feeling is crippling me. I need to get back to the state of mind and drive I had when I started college. Do you fine people think I've messed up my application too much by leaving the hospital? Will they see that I have backed out on taking the MCAT too many times and be concerned I'm not committed. I also have to explain taking a non medical job to the admission committee which, again, might make them concerned about my commitment to medicine. Has the ship sailed or do you think I'm still able to get back on track and get an accepted letter next fall? Thank you for your feedback.