Married in PT School?

[futuredpt-prof]

Hey everyone! I've got a new question for you that I think is kinda refreshing amongst all of the questions about stats, GRE scores, GPAs, acceptances, interviews, etc. (But, for those of you applying this cycle: good luck!) Anyway, my question is: Is anyone married and in PT school? And, if so, would you recommend getting married before PT school or after?

My boyfriend and I have been together for a few years, and we've been seriously considering when to get married for quite a while now. The only hang-up is that we're just waiting for me to finally get out of school so I can financially contribute to the marriage (my idea, not his). However, I recently put off PT school and am now pursuing a Master's degree in Medical Education, because I want to be a professor of physical therapy at some point in my career. That certainly threw off the time scale by a couple of years. So, now we're thinking about tying the knot sooner rather than later, maybe after I finish this Master's degree, right before I start PT school. Any thoughts? Does having one partner in grad school (and getting quite an expensive education, I might add) make the financial strain too stressful to be worth it? We're simple people of simple means, but it still worries me. Is the stress of being in school too hard on a marriage? Or, does it all work out if you're happy and in love and comfortable with your lifestyle?

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[jmlane1995]

Hey everyone! I've got a new question for you that I think is kinda refreshing amongst all of the questions about stats, GRE scores, GPAs, acceptances, interviews, etc. (But, for those of you applying this cycle: good luck!) Anyway, my question is: Is anyone married and in PT school? And, if so, would you recommend getting married before PT school or after?

My boyfriend and I have been together for a few years, and we've been seriously considering when to get married for quite a while now. The only hang-up is that we're just waiting for me to finally get out of school so I can financially contribute to the marriage (my idea, not his). However, I recently put off PT school and am now pursuing a Master's degree in Medical Education, because I want to be a professor of physical therapy at some point in my career. That certainly threw off the time scale by a couple of years. So, now we're thinking about tying the knot sooner rather than later, maybe after I finish this Master's degree, right before I start PT school. Any thoughts? Does having one partner in grad school (and getting quite an expensive education, I might add) make the financial strain too stressful to be worth it? We're simple people of simple means, but it still worries me. Is the stress of being in school too hard on a marriage? Or, does it all work out if you're happy and in love and comfortable with your lifestyle?

A while ago, I would have done whatever I wanted and not worried about it, but a friend of mine recently got divorced from her high school sweetheart while she's in the middle of her DPT, and I'm worried that the stress of school might have played a part in it.

Hi,
A friend of mine sent me a link to your post!

I am in my senior year of undergrad and am waiting to hear back from a DPT program. I am getting married in December. My bride-to-be and I have taken the time to sit down and seriously discuss some of the same things you mentioned in your post. In any marriage, there is a big chance that you will run into financial strain somewhere along the road. In my opinion, it's all about your views on marriage. As Christians, my partner and I believe that marrying someone is a commitment before God and that sometimes marriage is hard... but, any obstacle can be overcome. We are simple people too and try not to ever let money/materials be a main focus in our lives. My partner and I are excited to take on the challenges of DPT school together (even if that means sacrificing certain luxuries).
I know this reply may not be of much use being that I'm not in DPT school yet. But, I just wanted to reply and share my view on marriage during DPT school! I hope everything works out well for you and your partner!

 

[futuredpt-prof]

Hi,
A friend of mine sent me a link to your post!

I am in my senior year of undergrad and am waiting to hear back from a DPT program. I am getting married in December. My bride-to-be and I have taken the time to sit down and seriously discuss some of the same things you mentioned in your post. In any marriage, there is a big chance that you will run into financial strain somewhere along the road. In my opinion, it's all about your views on marriage. As Christians, my partner and I believe that marrying someone is a commitment before God and that sometimes marriage is hard... but, any obstacle can be overcome. We are simple people too and try not to ever let money/materials be a main focus in our lives. My partner and I are excited to take on the challenges of DPT school together (even if that means sacrificing certain luxuries).
I know this reply may not be of much use being that I'm not in DPT school yet. But, I just wanted to reply and share my view on marriage during DPT school! I hope everything works out well for you and your partner!

Thanks for sharing your story! I can really identify with you in regards to the religious aspect of it all. My boyfriend and I are very committed to each other and our relationship with God, which is why we feel ready to take the next step, I think my worries are the only thing standing in the way. And, a lot of older people are advising us to wait. After all, it's not terribly unusual to see a couple who waited 7-8 years before getting married. If I may ask, how difficult is wedding planning while you're in school? Even if you keep it simple, would you say is takes more time, or money? If it takes a lot of time, it might be best to do it before I get to PT school, since my Master's isn't as time consuming, but if it takes a lot of money, it might be better to do it later to have more time to save money. What are your thoughts?

 

[jmlane1995]

Thanks for sharing your story! I can really identify with you in regards to the religious aspect of it all. My boyfriend and I are very committed to each other and our relationship with God, which is why we feel ready to take the next step, I think my worries are the only thing standing in the way. And, a lot of older people are advising us to wait. After all, it's not terribly unusual to see a couple who waited 7-8 years before getting married. If I may ask, how difficult is wedding planning while you're in school? Even if you keep it simple, would you say is takes more time, or money? If it takes a lot of time, it might be best to do it before I get to PT school, since my Master's isn't as time consuming, but if it takes a lot of money, it might be better to do it later to have more time to save money. What are your thoughts?

No problem!
As far as the wedding goes, I would say it all depends on what type of wedding you want. We are trying to save as much money as we possibly can. So, we are having a very small wedding (mostly family), using facilities at my university as our venues, and only having a short reception (no formal dinner). Planning small details (flowers, food, photography, music, etc.) can be a bit time consuming. But if you start planning early, you won't feel super rushed. My fiancée did most of the detail planning but she started planning early. So, we are almost done with everything and the wedding is still more than 3 months away.

Money can always be an issue no matter how simple you keep it. It all depends on how you and your partner are set up financially (if he has been saving, if anybody from your families is funding the wedding, if marriage is financially feasible). I made an expense sheet to simulate our cost of living and compared our income/savings to the total cost of living for the years that I will be in school. We saw that financially, we would be fine. Maybe you two should try an expense sheet? We over-estimated on almost every expense and also tried to account for unexpected costs (car problems/health costs).

Hope this helps

 

[starrsgirl]

Most of my PT class is married (now) as many started out that way and quite a few married over summer and winter breaks. One benefit I see is being married can ease the financial strain as you can take out a lot less in loans if your partner is working.

 

[jesspt]

Hey everyone! I've got a new question for you that I think is kinda refreshing amongst all of the questions about stats, GRE scores, GPAs, acceptances, interviews, etc. (But, for those of you applying this cycle: good luck!) Anyway, my question is: Is anyone married and in PT school? And, if so, would you recommend getting married before PT school or after?

My boyfriend and I have been together for a few years, and we've been seriously considering when to get married for quite a while now. The only hang-up is that we're just waiting for me to finally get out of school so I can financially contribute to the marriage (my idea, not his). However, I recently put off PT school and am now pursuing a Master's degree in Medical Education, because I want to be a professor of physical therapy at some point in my career. That certainly threw off the time scale by a couple of years. So, now we're thinking about tying the knot sooner rather than later, maybe after I finish this Master's degree, right before I start PT school. Any thoughts? Does having one partner in grad school (and getting quite an expensive education, I might add) make the financial strain too stressful to be worth it? We're simple people of simple means, but it still worries me. Is the stress of being in school too hard on a marriage? Or, does it all work out if you're happy and in love and comfortable with your lifestyle?

A while ago, I would have done whatever I wanted and not worried about it, but a friend of mine recently got divorced from her high school sweetheart while she's in the middle of her DPT, and I'm worried that the stress of school might have played a part in it.

There were no newlyweds in my PT class, but several of my classmates were married with kids. A lot of my classmates came to PT school with significant others. Few graduated with the same significant other.

Point being, you know your situation better than anyone. Do what you are comfortable with.

As an aside, you may need to do some more research into what the typical PT school is looking for in its faculty. Many major universities will require a PhD. Your current Master's may get your foot in the door, but may not.

 

[starrsgirl]

^^agree with this. I am looking to go the faculty route....I already have a masters, but doesn't look like it will help me. I need to get a phd...and I didn't need a masters to do that. So if you can save yourself time and money, consider it.

 

[futuredpt-prof]

Most of my PT class is married (now) as many started out that way and quite a few married over summer and winter breaks. One benefit I see is being married can ease the financial strain as you can take out a lot less in loans if your partner is working.

Thanks! That's what I noticed, too (I work with a lot of new PT grads). It makes me feel a little more hopeful

 

[futuredpt-prof]

There were no newlyweds in my PT class, but several of my classmates were married with kids. A lot of my classmates came to PT school with significant others. Few graduated with the same significant other.

Point being, you know your situation better than anyone. Do what you are comfortable with.

As an aside, you may need to do some more research into what the typical PT school is looking for in its faculty. Many major universities will require a PhD. Your current Master's may get your foot in the door, but may not.

^^agree with this. I am looking to go the faculty route....I already have a masters, but doesn't look like it will help me. I need to get a phd...and I didn't need a masters to do that. So if you can save yourself time and money, consider it.

Thanks! Both of your comments made me look into it a little further, and now that I have, I'm a lot more confident in my decision with this Master's. I really just want to use it to get a better chance at getting my foot in the door at an institution that is willing to pay for my PhD. This is what my mother did when she started teaching at a graduate nursing school, and I think, financially, it really helped in the long run. The downside is that it takes a lot longer, because schools will only pay for me to get my PhD in part-time classes, but at least it's free, and I'll be teaching while I'm at it.

 

[futuredpt-prof]

There were no newlyweds in my PT class, but several of my classmates were married with kids. A lot of my classmates came to PT school with significant others. Few graduated with the same significant other.

Point being, you know your situation better than anyone. Do what you are comfortable with.

As an aside, you may need to do some more research into what the typical PT school is looking for in its faculty. Many major universities will require a PhD. Your current Master's may get your foot in the door, but may not.

Just out of curiosity, do you know what it is about PT school that really makes-or-breaks relationships? I really can't figure out if the majority of relationships don't work out during grad school because of stress, money, lack of time, or a combination of all three. I've always been told that it just depends on the demands of the program, but I think it's pretty safe to say that PT school demands quite a bit of all three.

 

[futurePT2017]

Just out of curiosity, do you know what it is about PT school that really makes-or-breaks relationships? I really can't figure out if the majority of relationships don't work out during grad school because of stress, money, lack of time, or a combination of all three. I've always been told that it just depends on the demands of the program, but I think it's pretty safe to say that PT school demands quite a bit of all three.

It probably just speeds up the end of relationships that wouldn't have made it in the long run anyway.

 

[DPThopeful1859]

That's a great question I'm asking myself. I'm going into PT school knowing that I'm getting married next year and my fiancee knows up and down how hard I've worked to get to this point and knows it's going to be a tough challenge, but that eventually it will pay off. She is supportive of me 100% and actually doesn't mind supporting me while I'm in school because when time comes for us to have a child, she knows I will more than likely be the one bringing in more income to help support our family down the road. I honestly believe it's all about balance and how to get a grip on school, studying and maintaining a relationship. My thought is: if you can't maintain your relationship during hard times, such as a strenuous graduate program, then how can you maintain a steady relationship during other hard times?

 

[jesspt]

Just out of curiosity, do you know what it is about PT school that really makes-or-breaks relationships? I really can't figure out if the majority of relationships don't work out during grad school because of stress, money, lack of time, or a combination of all three. I've always been told that it just depends on the demands of the program, but I think it's pretty safe to say that PT school demands quite a bit of all three.

Well, I'd say that the academic demands result in a considerable amount of stress for a lot of students, and it also limits the time you can spend with your significant other. You see a lot more of your classmates than you do of your boy/girlfriend/fiancé.

And a lot of students are probably at an age where what they look for in a partner is starting to change.

 

[futuredpt-prof]

It probably just speeds up the end of relationships that wouldn't have made it in the long run anyway.

Good point. I think it's hard for me to think about it objectively because I obviously don't want to end up like my friend, husband-less and more miserable than when I started. It really takes a toll on academic performance, too. I've had a ton of professors tell me that the hardest thing about their grad school experience was the really tough break-ups along the way.

 

[Heyjackie]

Thanks for sharing your story! I can really identify with you in regards to the religious aspect of it all. My boyfriend and I are very committed to each other and our relationship with God, which is why we feel ready to take the next step, I think my worries are the only thing standing in the way. And, a lot of older people are advising us to wait. After all, it's not terribly unusual to see a couple who waited 7-8 years before getting married. If I may ask, how difficult is wedding planning while you're in school? Even if you keep it simple, would you say is takes more time, or money? If it takes a lot of time, it might be best to do it before I get to PT school, since my Master's isn't as time consuming, but if it takes a lot of money, it might be better to do it later to have more time to save money. What are your thoughts?

My boyfriend and I are also seriously contemplating getting married before me starting PT school, and we've only been dating for 5 months. In some ways it would make more sense to wait, but I also don't want to keep just dating him for 3-4 more years. several friends who are a little older who met in med school, or got married before grad school, have said being married in school was really great, and making decisions was easier in some ways when they got married because they HAD to figure things out, instead of always second guessing if they should really be together. and you just figure out ways to spend time together - like if you are both in school exploring around different coffee shops to study. Others have told me it makes you more committed to your studies because you HAVE to get your studying done in the time allotted so you can spend time with your spouse. I'm on board with marriage, but i also know it's a really really hard thing too. i would HIGHLY recommend the book "The meaning of marriage" by Timothy Keller. seriously helpful in getting a realistic but also exciting and beautiful view of what marriage is and can be if you are willing to put the work in. Written from a christian perspective but is helpful no matter what background you come from.

 

[futuredpt-prof]

My boyfriend and I are also seriously contemplating getting married before me starting PT school, and we've only been dating for 5 months. In some ways it would make more sense to wait, but I also don't want to keep just dating him for 3-4 more years. several friends who are a little older who met in med school, or got married before grad school, have said being married in school was really great, and making decisions was easier in some ways when they got married because they HAD to figure things out, instead of always second guessing if they should really be together. and you just figure out ways to spend time together - like if you are both in school exploring around different coffee shops to study. Others have told me it makes you more committed to your studies because you HAVE to get your studying done in the time allotted so you can spend time with your spouse. I'm on board with marriage, but i also know it's a really really hard thing too. i would HIGHLY recommend the book "The meaning of marriage" by Timothy Keller. seriously helpful in getting a realistic but also exciting and beautiful view of what marriage is and can be if you are willing to put the work in. Written from a christian perspective but is helpful no matter what background you come from.

Thanks! I'll definitely check out the book. My boyfriend and I are finishing up a Christian devotional book for dating couples, so I'm always on the look for new books for us to read together. I really like your perspective. I never thought about how motivational marriage can be through school, because I have so many friends who have been dating for 8-10 years or had a really long engagement just for the sake of waiting until after school. I guess they're a lot more patient than I can ever be. And, don't let anyone make you feel bad about wanting to marry your boyfriend, even though you haven't been together for a long time. I knew I wanted to marry mine someday after only 5 or 6 months of knowing him, and the years that followed only re-affirmed that for me.

 

[allywally214]

I'm in my first semester of a DPT program right now and I got engaged about six months ago! We are waiting to get married until next December because my program doesn't have any summer breaks and this winter break was too soon. I feel like it would be very stressful to be newlyweds right now, as I spend almost all of my time studying (when I'm not in class). However, I'm confident that I'll be fairly well-adjusted by next spring when it's time to seriously start planning!

I do have a few friends in the program who got married over the summer, and they have really enjoyed and appreciated the support that they have from their spouses. So I guess it goes either way, depending on the people!


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[jmlane1995]

Thanks! I'll definitely check out the book. My boyfriend and I are finishing up a Christian devotional book for dating couples, so I'm always on the look for new books for us to read together. I really like your perspective. I never thought about how motivational marriage can be through school, because I have so many friends who have been dating for 8-10 years or had a really long engagement just for the sake of waiting until after school. I guess they're a lot more patient than I can ever be. And, don't let anyone make you feel bad about wanting to marry your boyfriend, even though you haven't been together for a long time. I knew I wanted to marry mine someday after only 5 or 6 months of knowing him, and the years that followed only re-affirmed that for me.

We got engaged after 7 months of dating!

 

[futuredpt-prof]

I'm in my first semester of a DPT program right now and I got engaged about six months ago! We are waiting to get married until next December because my program doesn't have any summer breaks and this winter break was too soon. I feel like it would be very stressful to be newlyweds right now, as I spend almost all of my time studying (when I'm not in class). However, I'm confident that I'll be fairly well-adjusted by next spring when it's time to seriously start planning!

I do have a few friends in the program who got married over the summer, and they have really enjoyed and appreciated the support that they have from their spouses. So I guess it goes either way, depending on the people!


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We're actually considering getting married after the first year, too! He just got a new job, and I really need to focus on finishing my Master's and moving on to my next degree, so we decided it was better to wait one more year. I have a hard time dealing with the huge amounts of stress at the beginning of a new degree program, so I agree that it is better to wait until we're adjusted to the demands of the program. It's hard to put off something you want so badly, but I don't want to look back on my first year of marriage, which should be an exciting time, as a time of stress, anxiety, and worry. I also think you can still benefit from having the support of a fiance/boyfriend without being married.

 

[futuredpt-prof]

That's a great question I'm asking myself. I'm going into PT school knowing that I'm getting married next year and my fiancee knows up and down how hard I've worked to get to this point and knows it's going to be a tough challenge, but that eventually it will pay off. She is supportive of me 100% and actually doesn't mind supporting me while I'm in school because when time comes for us to have a child, she knows I will more than likely be the one bringing in more income to help support our family down the road. I honestly believe it's all about balance and how to get a grip on school, studying and maintaining a relationship. My thought is: if you can't maintain your relationship during hard times, such as a strenuous graduate program, then how can you maintain a steady relationship during other hard times?

I completely agree. My boyfriend knows how hard I've worked to get to this point in my academic career, and how hard I'm working to get even further, and he's supported me every step of the way, from when we were finishing undergrad until now. And, vice-versa. I've been very supportive of him in every endeavor he has taken in his career, even when times were tough for him financially or times were hard for me academically. He wants to support me financially during school, which, I used to be opposed to, but since I'll likely be making about twice as much as him when I'm finally done with school, I'm beginning to accept the idea. In general, I really hated the idea of financial dependency on him, but I've realized that 3 years is really nothing at all when you're looking forward to a lifetime with someone.

 

[Azimuthal]

A handful of students, including myself, were newly weds when we began PT school. 100% remained married. 50% that had bf/gf relationships broke up, the remainder are mostly married within the last year. There are also the couples that began as friends and classmates, who are in healthy relationships.

Here's the deal. If you're not 100% committed to your partner, don't get married. Know the demands of PT school. There will be major study sessions, group assignments, and other activities that demands your time. More importantly, know that your partner understands this. My cohort and I are like family. We are close. Sometimes that relationship can cause some misunderstandings or create some insecurities, but if everything is honest and truthful, things will be okay.

With that said, I've been put in the middle of some uncomfortable situations where feelings of uncertainty led to a lot of confusion. The advice I gave was... Nah, that's enough, y'all will figure it out.

 

[topher031888]

I wish I had seen this thread sooner, very insightful comments. All I can do is share my experience.

I have been married almost 5 years and am in my 3rd year of PT school (graduate in May). Being married has only helped my financials and stress levels. Whereas my single classmates often work a few hours and still have to take out loans to cover tuition, rent, food, gas, etc. My wife and I on the other hand have only borrowed for tuition and have used our tax return to pay cash for two summer semesters. My wife and I definitely spend plenty of time together but we spend a lot less time socializing with friends. At the start of my second year my wife gave birth to our first child. Now having a child made school hard, I am glad we didn't wait but I don't blame anyone who does. So in short, being married only eased our financial burden because if we weren't married and didn't share finances we would be in a lot more debt when all is said and done (if we had both been in school things would have been different).

Having a spouse to help clean, shop, cook, and practice on has greatly decreased the amount of stress I experience in school. Since having our child alone time has become very hard to come by and that has certainly been hard but our relationship is still strong and thriving. My wife can't wait for the day when the she no longer carries our families financial burdens but she does it well and knows that it is only temporary. I am very glad in my decision to get married and have no regrets.

 

[jesus4everp413]

Hi,
A friend of mine sent me a link to your post!

I am in my senior year of undergrad and am waiting to hear back from a DPT program. I am getting married in December. My bride-to-be and I have taken the time to sit down and seriously discuss some of the same things you mentioned in your post. In any marriage, there is a big chance that you will run into financial strain somewhere along the road. In my opinion, it's all about your views on marriage. As Christians, my partner and I believe that marrying someone is a commitment before God and that sometimes marriage is hard... but, any obstacle can be overcome. We are simple people too and try not to ever let money/materials be a main focus in our lives. My partner and I are excited to take on the challenges of DPT school together (even if that means sacrificing certain luxuries).
I know this reply may not be of much use being that I'm not in DPT school yet. But, I just wanted to reply and share my view on marriage during DPT school! I hope everything works out well for you and your partner!

My fiance and I are doing the same thing too. We are getting married in December and are hoping I get into grad school. Marriage is hard work but having a few months together to build a foundation before moving who knows where in the US. As a Christian too, I believe that with a lot of prayer and hard work, being married in grad school is definitely possible. Best of luck to you, jmlane1995. Maybe we'll end up at the same grad school!

 

[jmlane1995]

My fiance and I are doing the same thing too. We are getting married in December and are hoping I get into grad school. Marriage is hard work but having a few months together to build a foundation before moving who knows where in the US. As a Christian too, I believe that with a lot of prayer and hard work, being married in grad school is definitely possible. Best of luck to you, jmlane1995. Maybe we'll end up at the same grad school!

Best of luck with getting in somewhere! I got into Duke through early decision. Where are you applying and when are you getting married? We are getting married on New Years Eve!

 

[jesus4everp413]

Best of luck with getting in somewhere! I got into Duke through early decision. Where are you applying and when are you getting married? We are getting married on New Years Eve!

I applied to At Still, Touro, Emory, Brenau, Southwest Baptist, Alabama State, MCPHS, New England, Maryland - Eastern Shore, Marshall, Shenandoah, Lynchburg, George Fox and St. Augustine.

We are getting married New Year's Eve too!

 

[cm0525]

Have been with my fiancé for over 4 years now; engaged 6 months and will hopefully be getting married Summer 2018! I definitely still plan on attending school wherever I get accepted

 

[butterscotchxx]

Hey everyone! I've got a new question for you that I think is kinda refreshing amongst all of the questions about stats, GRE scores, GPAs, acceptances, interviews, etc. (But, for those of you applying this cycle: good luck!) Anyway, my question is: Is anyone married and in PT school? And, if so, would you recommend getting married before PT school or after?

My boyfriend and I have been together for a few years, and we've been seriously considering when to get married for quite a while now. The only hang-up is that we're just waiting for me to finally get out of school so I can financially contribute to the marriage (my idea, not his). However, I recently put off PT school and am now pursuing a Master's degree in Medical Education, because I want to be a professor of physical therapy at some point in my career. That certainly threw off the time scale by a couple of years. So, now we're thinking about tying the knot sooner rather than later, maybe after I finish this Master's degree, right before I start PT school. Any thoughts? Does having one partner in grad school (and getting quite an expensive education, I might add) make the financial strain too stressful to be worth it? We're simple people of simple means, but it still worries me. Is the stress of being in school too hard on a marriage? Or, does it all work out if you're happy and in love and comfortable with your lifestyle?

I'm currently in my first year of PT school and engaged. There are a few other members of my class that are also engaged/married. The one piece of advice I can give you is do not set a date for your wedding prior to starting school. Academic calendars change frequently, especially if you are in a program that holds classes over the summer. I highly suggest waiting till you start school to set a date, that way you can look ahead at future calendars and speak with your professors about potential changes. Also, this will allow you to plan for a honeymoon more easily, assuming you're taking one.
A classmate of mine came into school with a date already set and ended up having to change the date due to schedule changes with our class, and many of her out of town family members were starting to purchase plane tickets, which definitely put added stress on her.

 

[webulu]

I'm not yet in PT school but did just get married - I would advise that anybody getting married during school also consider the amount of work and stress that wedding planning is. Planning often gets spread over 6+ months and fluctuates between really stressful and demanding to neither There are a lot of things to consider, lots of people's opinions to manage, lots of legwork needed when finding vendors and picking what you want and don't want.

I'm not saying you can't do it, but it may be worthwhile to schedule your wedding so that you can be planning during a lower-intensity part of your education - as other comments have pointed out, your profs may be able to provide some context about where that fits best into your program.