Maybe some of you can help...please!

[Dr.Jamie]

I'm posting this here because I think you all will have more insight for me. Now, I'm only 24, but I graduated a year ago with my Biology degree. GPA is bad, about a 3.0, but my last three years were all really great semesters. I just had a horrible first year (very horrible). Anyway, The past year i've been taking graduate bio classes, took a full load last semester and got straight Bs. The classes were tough and horribly uninteresting, but I did ok. This semester, same thing, taking classes, working, trying to support myself and my boyfriend of a long time because he was unable to find a job right out of school. He's good for it, and has already told me he'll do the same for me If i want to go to school full time and not work. He has found a job now, but we're in the process of moving to a town that not only has his job, but a dental school I'd like to go to. As of right now, I have a huge burden, we've been living off of so little money, can't pay bills, all that. The stress is unbelivable, and add to that the stress of having to overcome a not so hot dental application. So i'm spreading myself so thin, and just feel emotionally exhausted, trying to balance my academic life, work, and a relationship. Today I met with my advisor, she has always had a lot of faith in me and loved me. She told me how dissapointed she was in my that I only got a 3.0 last semester. She said that other things in my life seem to be pulling me away from my future. I got so angered. I agree that I've hit a rough spot, but I personally feel that will help in my success. Unfortunately my journey has been very difficult the whole time, nothing has come easily. How do you guys balance all of this? I consider myself a very dedicated person, but there are some things I just can't control. Am I being irresponsible by trying to keep a relationship while trying to get into dental school? I feel this is what people are telling me. Am I wrong for trying to obtain a balanced life? Any advice would be so helpful, I feel very lost right now.

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[Pemberley]

Balance is good. Obviously something has to give.

I'm not you, but if I had your array of challenges the first thing I'd pull back on is courseload. It's good to make an A in one class, and bad to make a B in two. (Caveat: that's good advice for med apps; I don't know anything about dental.)

It's not a race. I also pulled up a 3.0 while working full time, and I found it tough. (Other people around here had an easier time with bigger courseloads; I guess it depends on your courses, your study style & speediness, your job, etc.) Reinforcing your 3.0 will just hurt you, and spending a lot of time at the end of your rope will not help. Don't burn yourself out.

 

[Dr.Jamie]

I am trying to not burn myself out, I just feel that I'm forced to choose, which is so hard for me. I don't know how others aren't forced to do that same thing. Maybe some people just find things like this so easy. I get so many mixed signals from people. Family members telling me I'm just not working hard enough, while others tell me I'm working too hard and something has to give. I'm actually fairly happy, until someone tells me I'm not doing things right, and everything falls apart. I can imagine that many of you on this forum have had to make hard choices about families and careers. It's just so difficult to want so many things so much, and just not know how to go about it. I know that this is just the beginning too.

 

[postbacker]

I am trying to not burn myself out, I just feel that I'm forced to choose, which is so hard for me. I don't know how others aren't forced to do that same thing. Maybe some people just find things like this so easy. I get so many mixed signals from people. Family members telling me I'm just not working hard enough, while others tell me I'm working too hard and something has to give. I'm actually fairly happy, until someone tells me I'm not doing things right, and everything falls apart. I can imagine that many of you on this forum have had to make hard choices about families and careers. It's just so difficult to want so many things so much, and just not know how to go about it. I know that this is just the beginning too.

You need to discard anything in your life that is taking away from the achievement of your dream...this includes people...strip away and discard the circumstances that are pulling you down...good luck.

 

[RadMD1day]

I agree with pulling yourself away from distractions, BUT, if this boyfriend is future husband (and you are absolutely positively sure he is),and he has made that committment to you (ring, planning future, ect) I wouldn't just say walk away with the chance to get into med school. He may actually be the rock you need. Just evaluate your relationships and make priorities, change study habits, and make yourself number ONE!
As far as friends and family, they have no clue because they don't know truly how you feel, no one does. I have family that also tells me I am wasting my time, its too hard for a married mom of two, that I am not smart enough. They don't know, they don't even ask what GPA I have. My point is, YOU make the decision to go to school. YOU make the time sacrifices to study better, YOU choose who your relationships is with, based on commitment. NO ONE can do that for you!

 

[BrooklynDent2B]

I am your age and am just starting out with my pre-reqs for dental school. Maybe you can find work that is more study-friendly. I know several people who maintain a humble lifestyle by bartending at night (2-3 nights per week) and take classes during the day. My best friend pulled in $300 in one night and it was her first night. I am personally too scared to take this route because I like knowing how much pay I will be getting every week.

Also you said you live near the dental school you may want to attend. How about trying to apply for an admin job in the school or any other division within that university. Therefore you can take a pre-req classes during lunch breaks or run to class right after work. Most of the time university admin jobs (especially if you are not in admissions, registrar or financial aid) are virtually stress free and allow for a lot of down time which you can use to study. Also as a university/college employee you may be able to take free classes or they may be discounted which will help you save money.

Don't listen to friends and family. Surround yourself with people who have similar goals and interests. I am not saying disregard friends and family...just keep them at bay. Seek advice and opinions from those who actually know and UNDERSTAND what you are going through. Personally I keep things to myself. My dad is an MD and does not even know I am pursuing my pre-reqs. He is not supportive and that will only hurt, not help, my self esteem in the end. My best friend is a PA however and has been really helpful so I confide in her.

Best of Luck!