Med school and relationships

[Ignatius M.D.]

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That's a different situation.

If two girls are equally "interesting" , and one is really good looking, you would disregard her?

But Torr, if all is level (Smart, nice, down-to-earth), then why wouldn't you go for the more attractive one? Sounds to me like that breaks a tie The only trouble comes when you get a gorgeous girl that is vapid and self-involved that is chosen over an average/slightly above average looking girl that has a the great personality, is smart, etc. We've all dated one person for pure looks at least once in our life, even if it was only for a short time (a past relationship with a very pretty tri-delt lasted a month ). Most of the time though, we all go for someone with at least one feature we find attractive (nice eyes, smile, cute face, is in good shape, etc.) and that has a great personality. I don't think a total lack of physical attraction is healthy for a relationship.

 

[MizuNoHane]

it's all about staying above teh vicky mendoza diagonal.

I like this reference. A lot.

But Torr, if all is level (Smart, nice, down-to-earth), then why wouldn't you go for the more attractive one? Sounds to me like that breaks a tie The only trouble comes when you get a gorgeous girl that is vapid and self-involved that is chosen over an average/slightly above average looking girl that has a the great personality, is smart, etc.

Right on. All things equal, you're going to pick the girl who's more attractive. The second there's a disparity somewhere in either intelligence or personality I tend to turn my attentions to the girl who is cuter, funnier and more compassionate every time. I've met some extremely pretty girls who I am truly not at all attracted to purely because their personality makes me look at them in a different light. If you're playing the game for keeps your moves are pretty predictable.

 

[docelh]

...

 

[Torr]

But Torr, if all is level (Smart, nice, down-to-earth), then why wouldn't you go for the more attractive one? Sounds to me like that breaks a tie .

Yeah, that's kinda what I'm sayin. I don't buy it that guys would turn down a beautiful woman for a less attractive (lets say mildly attractive) woman because he's afraid of the potential "stress".

Most guys *choose* less attractive women due to the comfort factor.

I've seen it among many people in my extended family (both genders), friends, and acquaintances. The few guys who went after prettier wives are usually p-whipped or deal with a lot of unnecessary stress.

I mean I can see this happening in some cases maybe. Just don't think it's common.

Anyway, this is all way off the thread topic! Lol.

 

[futureMD435]

Ha! That's not what I was trying to say. I was just quoting the literature. I'm just sayin' if you're a 3, don't go for a 9, because that 9 eventually will find another 9 and think to themselves, "my 3 might treat me right and be a good husband/wife and parent to our kids, but they certainly don't make me feel like that 9 does." This is reality. It may suck, but it's extremely common. Look at the divorce rate and infidelity rate.

She's Out of My League anyone...funny show if you haven't seen it. Just remember, don't deduct a point for having a piece of junk car if you're in a band, you're expected to have one.

 

[docelh]

...

 

[Ignatius M.D.]

Yeah, that's kinda what I'm sayin. I don't buy it that guys would turn down a beautiful woman for a less attractive (lets say mildly attractive) woman because he's afraid of the potential "stress".

I think to assume that a more attractive partner would equate to more stress is strange. Stress will only come if she turns out to be crazy. This is usually found out between month 1 and month 4.

 

[rxlea]

You boys crack me up. Why pick when you can have both? Seriously...

The 10s "barbies" are actually the easiest to get and usually the most boring. It's the cute/smart/funny girls that are hard to get and the ones you want to stick around. Barbies are a dime a dozen and lots of them are used to fleeting romances. It's just the way it is in undergrad (at least at my alma mater). You have to work harder for the cute/smart/funny girls and you don't want to screw up. That's why you have to wait for the perfect setting and save your best for her. I hate to admit that I was somewhat of a womanizer in undergrad but I learned a hell of a lot about what women need/want. Obviously, I already knew some of it because I have a home court advantage, but still... Some chicks can be complicated.

I speak from experience.

 

[slatermd]

You boys crack me up. Why pick when you can have both? Seriously...

You have to work harder for the cute/smart/funny girls and you don't want to screw up. That's why you have to wait for the perfect setting and save your best for her.

+1

Compromise, or settling or whatever it's called, is for douche bags.

 

[CrystalProphecy]

With no relevance to the most recent posts, I just think the OP is funny. He's banned I guess, but dude if you ever come back, shaadi.com 😀 Land of the Indians for dating/matchmaking.

(With all seriousness though, my Indian roommate says a lot of matches are made on that site and with the closed environment of med schools, a lot of people resort to sites like Shaadi to find a wife/husband xD)

 

[tabascosauce]

hmm.... sounds like you didn't hook up. How does this count for ... anything?

The hot chicks are also really nice to gay guys too, ergo, they must be nice to all guys.

KELLY CLARKSON - I do not HOOK UP

learn from her if not by her precepts

 

[2012mdc]

no way man, if a girl in a group of friends is super cute and fun to be around, but her friend is "hotter" (whatever the **** that means) i'll def be more interested in the cute/interesting one. no question, every time. most people i know follow this. there are enough made-up barbie 10s out there who work it too much so guys eventually know whats up. it's all about staying above teh vicky mendoza diagonal.

cute girl asking about the surf this weekend > 9.5/10 made-up babe asking me to buy her friends drinks all night. all day every day.

Yeah you'd date the cute girl but you'd still want to/try to sleep with the hot one

 

[SouthParkMD]

As a guy, I try to aim for the highest hotness/interestingness ratio in a girl. This doesn't mean anything since my success with women is rather limited - actually non-existent, more rejection than anything else, but im hanging in there and not gonna compromise. As a junior in college though it seems sad that ive never had a relationship or got laid. I don't want to be "that guy" - if you know what I mean when I get to med school, whose never been in a relationship or with a woman. Ah well, i guess i just gotta keep believing in myself and keep moving forward (though honestly im sick and tired of rejection but watevs - their loss ya knw?).

The consensus seems to be that relationships in med school don't happen since the attractive ones are taken?

 

[mauberley]

As a guy, I try to aim for the highest hotness/interestingness ratio in a girl.

I don't think this means what you think it means.

 

[SouthParkMD]

I don't think this means what you think it means.

What do I think it means?

 

[burningheat]

What do I think it means?

hehe this is funny. : )

 

[Mace1370]

What do I think it means?

You think it means the girl with the highest amount of combined hotness and interesting attributes.

It actually means the hottest, least interesting girl possible.

 

[coldweatherblue]

Yeah you'd date the cute girl but you'd still want to/try to sleep with the hot one

maybe like 6 years ago but once you've gone through the "it's 2am in a packed club and this girl is dancing on a table in a mini-skirt with everyone watching, all night dudes are hitting on her and she wants me to stare them down, only to go to her house and find a gun underneath her pillow cause her crazy-ass ex is getting out of jail soon" progression with a couple of girls it generally becomes something you try to avoid.

aw who am i kidding, i love the drama...

 

[Torr]

i met this hot girl who is just SO NICE AND KIND AND SMART AND SAVVY.

TS, you're too sweet! Makin me blush.

Stress will only come if she turns out to be crazy. This is usually found out between month 1 and month 4.

I think the hardcore/smart crazies can mask their insanity for much longer. Beware!

I don't think this means what you think it means.

 

[tabascosauce]

TS, you're too sweet! Makin me blush.

ARE U HIGH?! Srsly😱

where r u matriculating this end of summer

 

[SouthParkMD]

Yeah you'd date the cute girl but you'd still want to/try to sleep with the hot one

Thats basically what I was trying to say.

In retrospect though would you say that relationships in med school happen? Do they work out? - based on the posts actually relevant to the original question it doesn't seem like it.

What about relationships outside of med school? Do they still work out given the time and work med school takes?

What about someone like me who has no experience when it comes to this stuff, are there people like that in med school or am I a loner here as well?

 

[Torr]

ARE U HIGH?! Srsly😱

where r u matriculating this end of summer

Sorry, I just assumed...🙁

I'll be in (edit) Northwest, TS. Lol, I feel like posting it everywhere is a baad idea :|.

Hopin I won't be back on SDN for the rest of weekend so have a good one!

 

[2012mdc]

Thats basically what I was trying to say.

In retrospect though would you say that relationships in med school happen? Do they work out? - based on the posts actually relevant to the original question it doesn't seem like it.

What about relationships outside of med school? Do they still work out given the time and work med school takes?

What about someone like me who has no experience when it comes to this stuff, are there people like that in med school or am I a loner here as well?

Relationships do work if you want them to but it's just not that common. A lot of people are already married/committed and others just want to stay away from classmates.

Some of my friends have ended their relationships but many have stayed successful. I'm one who started a relationship in med school (w/ a current MS2) and it's successful

 

[Mace1370]

Thats basically what I was trying to say.

In retrospect though would you say that relationships in med school happen? Do they work out? - based on the posts actually relevant to the original question it doesn't seem like it.

What about relationships outside of med school? Do they still work out given the time and work med school takes?

What about someone like me who has no experience when it comes to this stuff, are there people like that in med school or am I a loner here as well?

Medcest definitely happens. There are three or four couples that started dating each other during first or second year. One of them got married a few months ago. There will be lots of socially awkward girls/guys who have never been in a relationship before in med school. That's the nature of the beast.

For what it's worth, though, I would try to date someone outside of med school. You'll be spending so much time thinking/studying/etc about med school related things that it is nice to have an anchor to the outside world. If you feel awkward/embarrassed picking up girls at bars, then I always recommend:

http://www.okcupid.com/

Nice thing about that site is that it is easy to set up a date with someone around your class/test schedule.