Med school + commute

[Lab Rat]

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I currently live about an hour away from where I will attend medical school in the fall, and my SO is trying to talk me out of moving closer to campus. I was hoping to get a perspective on this from those of you who have just finished MI or MII.

My school podcasts all of its lectures, so if motivated enough, I could use this time to study while driving.

 

[Lab Rat]

Mods, maybe you could move this to allo 😕

Seems like a better place for it after-the-fact.

 

[MollyMalone]

Sure thing.

 

[Lab Rat]

Thanks! 🙂

 

[FDoRoML]

I currently live about an hour away from where I will attend medical school in the fall, and my SO is trying to talk me out of moving closer to campus. I was hoping to get a perspective on this from those of you who have just finished MI or MII.

My school podcasts all of its lectures, so if motivated enough, I could use this time to study while driving.

It sort of depends on the school (hours of class and other committments) as well as the location/ commute time during peak rush hour. I actually dropped GW (my SO wanted to live in Baltimore because it meant we could actually buy a house instead of renting b/c DC is so insanely expensive) because of this-- their hours run basically all day and I was thinking of taking the train (driving would be brutal, in case you've never been to DC) but the thought of 1 hr 15 min on a train + 15 min on the metro + 9 hours of time at school + another 15 min on the metro and 1.25 hours on the train was not appealing to me. Sure I could study on the train, but I think it's really important to have a life outside of school. It'd mean very few hours with my SO and pets, and very few hours at home in general. Anyway, I went with a different school and am really happy about it. If GW was my only option, I would have pushed to get closer. One can make the case with one's SO that time will be limited anyway b/c of studying-- so the shorter the commute, the better. For both of your sanity.

 

[beefballs]

I have a long commute to work now(1.5 hrs each way) and their is no way I was going to repeat that, traffic, the wasted $$ on gas, the bad mood I was in when I got home. My wife agreed that we should minimize my commute to maximize my time in the day.. SUre y9ou could do it but why would you if at all avoidable

 

[McMD]

Lab Rat...which school?

 

[McMD]

An hour commute is a little extreme. I am living a little ways away from my future med school campus partially because the campus is in the middle of a bad part of Miami, partially because it was the only place that accepted my 60lb boxer, and partially because my spouse grew up in Iowa and moving him to the middle of Miami is WAY too much of a culture shock. Anyways, my commute COULD get up to an hour with Miami traffic, but without the traffic it is only 15 minutes away (I know, without traffic it doesn't seem like a commute at all)....anyways, I think if having a commute helps you and your SO to be much more happy-then by all means drive a little further and enjoy the next 4 years a little more. But like I said in the beginning, an hour drive is a little extreme for my taste...perhaps you guys could compromise and make it a half hour drive??

 

[Miami_med]

It sucks, but it is doable (Atleast for the first year). Expect a rise in BP between the start and finish of medical school. Clerkships could be interesting

 

[McMD]

Miami_med, do you commute from Ft. Lauderdale? My commute will be from Sunny Isles Beach-not quite as far...I don't think it will be that bad and I'm planning on podcasting the lectures and listening to them while in traffic.

 

[Lab Rat]

Lab Rat...which school?

Creighton. I live in Lincoln, so the commute isn't so much being stuck in traffic as it is crossing a small section of the state. Her point is that if I'm going to be so busy (as I persistently claim), it would be better to stay in Lincoln where she has her family and friends.

There really is no in between. Either we move, or we don't. The class schedule for the first year has us busy from 8am to 4pm most days.

 

[MexiGirl]

I am in a similar situation. The med school I will be attending this fall is 40 miles from my home...but Im not doing it for a SO...for my SON. I made the decision to go to med school and my son shouldn't have to be uplifted out of his home, school, and comfortable environment. The time driving does REALLY suck...especially LA traffic. 🙁 🙁

 

[trudub]

Creighton. I live in Lincoln, so the commute isn't so much being stuck in traffic as it is crossing a small section of the state. Her point is that if I'm going to be so busy (as I persistently claim), it would be better to stay in Lincoln where she has her family and friends.

There really is no in between. Either we move, or we don't. The class schedule for the first year has us busy from 8am to 4pm most days.

You could move to Gretna. That is about halfway between Lincoln and Omaha. That would be the best of both worlds. It would be a much shorter commute and your SO would be close to Lincoln. Just a thought. If that is not an option, I don't think living in Lincoln is a good option for going to school in Omaha. Just my two cents.

 

[slim06]

Your SO is wise to not want to move away from her social support. Maybe you should get a crash pad near school and stay there a few nights a week. I can't imagine that rent for a shared room would be that much there.

 

[lil pook]

MEDSCHOOL + COMMUTE = POOR......VERY, VERY, VERY POOR.

please please please do not, i repeat, do not do this. i live 40 minutes from school, but in traffic its more like almost an hour. you cannot possibly imagine how after sitting in classes all day (if you have to i suppose) this drive will squeeze every last milligram of patience/happiness out of you. when you arrive home to your sweetie and have another few hours of studying to look forward to, your S.O. will have a nice, irritable, pissed off, world hating, grouch to spend the night with...


unless of course you like traffic and extended commutes. then you are fine.

oh and did i mention poor? yes very poor.

 

[71263]

My med school is all the way up in North Chicago. There are some people who commute up here every day from downtown (at least 45 minutes each way) and they do fine. Personally, I HAVE to live within a few minutes walking from campus, otherwise ill never go. It all depends on what works for you.

 

[Lab Rat]

Thanks for the advice, all.

I actually do have a place to crash near town (gretna, grandparents), but when I try to open up the possibility of staying there during the week, I meet massive resistance. She feels I would be doing this as a matter of convienence, and to not commute is to not try hard enough. It can be done, you are a strong person, ect. All of this is wholey depressing, as I feel we are having difficulty finding common ground, and med school hasn't even started yet.

 

[Miami_med]

Miami_med, do you commute from Ft. Lauderdale? My commute will be from Sunny Isles Beach-not quite as far...I don't think it will be that bad and I'm planning on podcasting the lectures and listening to them while in traffic.

Yes, I live in Fort Lauderdale. I go every day, and I do not watch the videos most of the time. Sunny Isles isn't bad if you leave early. After hurricane Wilma, I lived there for a couple of weeks (Long Story). Even with the post-hurrican destruction and traffic mayhem, it was less than an hour. If you leave early and study in the morning, your commute is 20 minutes. Collins South to Alton Road South. Then cut across to I-95 on the Julia Tuttle (I-195). The return commute is only horrible on holiday weekends.

Don't listen to podcasts in traffic. You will be angry in Miami traffic. I tried to learn Spanish in traffic and got nothing out of it. Just learn to go in early. You'll have to do this on 3rd year clerkships anyway.

 

[SoCuteMD]

Thanks for the advice, all.

I actually do have a place to crash near town (gretna, grandparents), but when I try to open up the possibility of staying there during the week, I meet massive resistance. She feels I would be doing this as a matter of convienence, and to not commute is to not try hard enough. It can be done, you are a strong person, ect. All of this is wholey depressing, as I feel we are having difficulty finding common ground, and med school hasn't even started yet.

It's none of my business, but as someone who saw a relationship implode (up close, and it wasn't pretty) in the first weeks of medical school, I strongly advise that you have a conversation with your SO about what medical school means, and what life after it will be like. I suggest you purchase both "White Coat" by Ellen Rothman(?) and "The Intern Blues" for her to read and get an idea of what things are like. The fact that your SO is not willing to compromise and split the drive is not a good sign for the future.

Sorry if I'm overstepping my bounds.

 

[randomedstudent]

Ok, I'm shocked that no one has posted this yet, so I will. I would strongly advise you to move closer to school. The one hour commute would def. be doable for the first 2 years when you likely will never have to be to school any earlier than 8. But 3rd and 4th year are entirely different, where 8 will likely be the latest you will ever get to work (possibly on psych or outpt. family med. or something) but that will be a small fraction of the time. I usually get to the hospital by 6 each day and on rotations like surgery and Ob/gyn it is 5 or earlier. Personally I cannot imagine having to get up an hour earlier for a commute. Just something to think about. Although you could compromise and move after 2nd year so you're close to her fam for first 2 years and then close to school for last 2 years when you will have to get there so early.

 

[Nebmuse]

Just think about what winters are like in Nebraska. Dreary almost every day. Now think about how bad people drive when it snows in Omaha. You know why? Omaha drivers are stupid. Now think about spending 8 hours a day in lecture and having to deal with that for at least another hour. Med school is hard enough without the depressing stress of being in a car for over an hour with no sunshine, icy construction filled I-80, full of people who think the speed limit is really 10 MPH too fast. Plus, you'll probably hit a deer on you way in at least once.

Ok - without the truthfull sarcasm, I would also advise you to move to Omaha. You will make new friends and so will your SO. It's not that far from Lincoln for quick trips, but you will be much happier if you sleep closer to where you will practically live. I get tired of my 20 minute commute on some days. It's honestly the last thing I want to do.

Best of luck.

 

[McMD]

It's none of my business, but as someone who saw a relationship implode (up close, and it wasn't pretty) in the first weeks of medical school, I strongly advise that you have a conversation with your SO about what medical school means, and what life after it will be like. I suggest you purchase both "White Coat" by Ellen Rothman(?) and "The Intern Blues" for her to read and get an idea of what things are like. The fact that your SO is not willing to compromise and split the drive is not a good sign for the future.

Sorry if I'm overstepping my bounds.

I would have to agree that at least from an outsider's perspective, her massive resistance is something to question when going into medical school. You are going to need a strong support system and it seems that is not what you are being provided with. Anyways, none of my business...

I would not do an hour commute-but that's just me. You will be exhausted by the time you get home everyday and that willl make for stress in your relationship that you really don't need to have, not to mention the difficulty you'll have trying to sit down and study when you are exhausted! Ask your SO to make the drive back and forth for one week-and maybe she'll be a little more emphathetic.

Miami_med, thanks for the tip-I will definitely try that path for school...I figured I could go in early and avoid traffic, at 4pm when I made the "trial" run to the med school from Sunny Isles, it took 15 minutes, so I thought it couldn't be that bad. Anyways, thanks!!

 

[lil pook]

labrat- socute has a point. relationships with a non-medical person will always be hard because they can never ever ever imagine what we go through. if this person isn't compromising now, can you imagine what she will be like when you are working crazy hours 3rd year and sleeping at the hospital? or how about residency? (ooooo, scary!)

this reminds me of our first day of school. one of our teachers (a great guy and an M.D.) got up and gave us the speech saying 'if you guys are in relationships with high maintenance people, you need to start thinking now if you really want to do medicine' and you know what? he is 100% correct.

medical school + high maintenance S.O = failure or nervous breakdown or break up

plain and simple.

 

[Lab Rat]

All advice well received. We discussed it again last night, and I got her to agree that moving to Omaha (or Gretna at the very least) is the best thing. Normally I think she would have seen it my way a little sooner, but we are going through an unrelated very stressful time in our relationship right now, and she has been a little bit crazy in general as a result.

I cannot begin to explain how many times I have stressed the impending burden of medical school on our relationship. We have weathered many storms before, and I know we will survive this one.

I suggest you purchase both "White Coat" by Ellen Rothman(?) and "The Intern Blues" for her to read and get an idea of what things are like.

This might be a good idea, but before I do it, I want to make sure these books aren't too dark. I want her to understand what I will be going through, not scare her to death. 😉

 

[McMD]

All advice well received. We discussed it again last night, and I got her to agree that moving to Omaha (or Gretna at the very least) is the best thing. Normally I think she would have seen it my way a little sooner, but we are going through an unrelated very stressful time in our relationship right now, and she has been a little bit crazy in general as a result.

I cannot begin to explain how many times I have stressed the impending burden of medical school on our relationship. We have weathered many storms before, and I know we will survive this one.



This might be a good idea, but before I do it, I want to make sure these books aren't too dark. I want her to understand what I will be going through, not scare her to death. 😉

That's great news Lab Rat! I haven't read either of the 2 books mentioned above, but I read "Hot Lights, Cold Steel" and it was awesome!! My husband read it as well and REALLY got a grasp of what residency will be like-but I think it gives you a general idea of what "medicine" encompasses, which includes medical school. Again, it was a great book-I highly recommend it. (and no, it's not dark at all).

 

[lil pook]

that's real good to hear labrat. i'm glad you guys were able to come to an agreement. this will be good for the relationship....trust me on this one.

 

[Scrub MD]

Lab Rat,
I made the move from Lincoln to Omaha for medical school. My SO still had one semester left of school in Lincoln but I talked her into moving to Omaha. I first explained how less driving time meant more time with her 😉 She really hated Omaha and was scared to death of it(being from a small town). We started looking around at places and then she started getting more excited about the move. We found a place in south Omaha next to I-80 so it is a short drive for her to Lincoln(35 minutes) and a 15-20 minute drive for me to school. Now she loves our new place and is happy we moved. Also, your SO will be able to get to Lincoln very easy and you will be the one driving everyday to medical school.